why should she put in the extra effort?? why can't husband put in the extra effort?? is he not half of the family and father of children??
if husband can work 5 days a week, not put any effort into his home, and spend the remaining 2 days with his parents...........why can't the wife do the same??
moreover... cooking food or taking care of the house is not her responsibility......its only a favor if she does that....if she doesn't do that.....its not that she is ignoring her responsibilities.........she is well within her rights.....
In short......the husband is demanding too much, and not willing to put in effort....... he can't really expect his wife to do things that he himself isn't willing to do....
so i hope you stand corrected.
Must you exaggerate so much?
The desi working women I know do not feel that they are doing a favour by being a mother and a wife however most women will feel that if they come home at 5 pm and are cooking for everyone then it would be nice for the husband to pick up the hoover as opposed to lying around because he's too much of a man to move his behind. Most working women will actually put in more effort into their homes to make up for the hours they miss.
I also know of many some desi housewives and although I don't mean to offend anyone, they do nothing. They cook and clean, which takes 3 - 4 hours in the morning and if their kids are at school will do nothing but watch dramas and look at themselves in the mirror, or shop if they can be bothered, and these women are better than the working women? Pfft.
what did i exaggerate exactly?? isn't that how things are supposed to be?
i didn't say anything about what desi working women do in practice.......or how they have to cope with such issues in practical circumstances......which usually means a LOT MORE than what is required.......all due to societal pressures..
I think alot of people nowadays actually want working/earning wife/bahu and i am talking about well to do families here. I guess this is due to the change in economy here at this part of the world and also times have changed and people are not as restrictive as they were before. However i personally dont think this is any better than someone not wanting their wife/bahu to work because both are extremes, perhaps this even more so because though i understand gone are the days when there can only be 1 bread earner and the whole family can live lavishly but still if you are well to do then expecting the wife to earn when she doesnt want to work is very off the line atleast in my views.
my husband and his family prefers that I work. I think thats why they chose me, arrgh. And today after working a 10 hour shift, I cooked two dishes. I hate this so much, by the time I get to bed I am already sleeping and have pain in my back.
The honest truth is, in most cases, stopping a woman from working is merely a means for a man to maintain a superiority complex. Don't let anyone fool you into believing otherwise.
The honest truth is, in most cases, stopping a woman from working is merely a means for a man to maintain a superiority complex. Don't let anyone fool you into believing otherwise.
I do not agree with this. My dad has never stopped my mom from working. In fact at one point she made more money than him. She finally quit when she hated her job and wasn't motivated enough to look for another job in the city we moved to.
My husband has always encouraged me to work. I'm the one who wanted to stay home when my kids were born. I'm already working part time and he fine with any of my decisions. My sister works fulltime, has a kid and does great. Her husband is very supportive. My husband's sister doesn't work but the BIL has asked her to find something to keep herself busy now that the kids are grown and she's bored.
IMO being a sathm is more than just staying at home. There are some examples of excellent sathm’s (i.e Hareem) but there are many that don’t use their time productively. Because again, imo, being a good mother is more than just feeding and watering your children. I can think of more than a few real life examples and at least one on GS.
I do not agree with this. My dad has never stopped my mom from working. In fact at one point she made more money than him. She finally quit when she hated her job and wasn't motivated enough to look for another job in the city we moved to.
My husband has always encouraged me to work. I'm the one who wanted to stay home when my kids were born. I'm already working part time and he fine with any of my decisions. My sister works fulltime, has a kid and does great. Her husband is very supportive. My husband's sister doesn't work but the BIL has asked her to find something to keep herself busy now that the kids are grown and she's bored.
So there you have it.
But niksik baji,
The thing is you were never forced by any of these people. You were left on your will to do what you chose and you went for the choice that suited you most. Here i am talking about cases where it is either enforced or kept as a precondition or just a major reason of clash because the husband "just doesnt want wife to work" for any of the reasons i mentioned above. For those cases, i will agree to the insecurity and complex part with people. There is something in men who enforce these things.
Actually in the US most men want their wives to work, even if they themselves are reluctanat.
true, in fact, most guys that I have talked to have expressed that they want their wives to work even if its part time. they think its sad when girls degrees go to waste and that they like the way working women raise their children.
I do not agree with this. My dad has never stopped my mom from working. In fact at one point she made more money than him. She finally quit when she hated her job and wasn't motivated enough to look for another job in the city we moved to.
My husband has always encouraged me to work. I'm the one who wanted to stay home when my kids were born. I'm already working part time and he fine with any of my decisions. My sister works fulltime, has a kid and does great. Her husband is very supportive. My husband's sister doesn't work but the BIL has asked her to find something to keep herself busy now that the kids are grown and she's bored.
So there you have it.
I didn't read anywhere in your examples where a woman was asked/forced to not work and stay at home. So I don't really understand how it is relevant to what I said. My post was directed towards men who are uncomfortable with the concept of their wife working.
