i know more than a few men like this, but more acquaintances than actual friends. I think its an ego thing more than anything. But men I am friends with seem to actually expect to their wife to work after getting married, and after kids...if they can afford it, some of the men would prefer for their wife to stay home, while others not. It all depends on the couple. I dont care whether a woman stays home or works ( i dont think one is necessarily better than the other), as long as it was a choice agreed by both parties.
not letting your wife to continue her job (specially if she has already spent years of her life in job related education) is totally wrong. A man who doesnt want her life partner to be a working women should rather go for a girl who is already prepared to spend her life as a house wife.
Dreams and personal goals are equally important for women too and no man should stop woman from attempting to achieve her goals.
a man knows wat men nature is...unfortunately this capitalist society has multiplied this attraction Allah created btw the 2 genders...hope all men agree
I know someone in Pakistan who is a CEO of an organisation and his wife works not because of financial reasons but because she wants to. He supports her 101% and feels so proud that his wife is doing so much in her life. I have met their kids too and they are one of the most well brought up kids. On the other hand I know someone from work place who made his wife quit her job when he married her I have seen him saying many time for husbands who allow their wives to work that " woh apni biwi sey kaam karwata hai " so for him it can not be a wife's desire to work it would always be a husband's command and that pretty much shows how he thinks.
The new generation esp the well educated lot do not discourage wife's working and I am hopeful that this will get even more better in our children's generation .
My wife is a working woman. I always supported her but now I feel that my family life is disturbed. She can't give proper time to kids. Returning from job, she is tired.. things are going to be abnormal at home. I am a well educated and well earning person. I am trying my best to convince her to quit job for the sake of home but i guess it is too late now.
My wife is a working woman. I always supported her but now I feel that my family life is disturbed. She can't give proper time to kids. Returning from job, she is tired.. things are going to be abnormal at home. I am a well educated and well earning person. I am trying my best to convince her to quit job for the sake of home but i guess it is too late now.
If she doesn't want to quite why not meet halfway and ask her about going part-time if you really think things are going to be 'abnormal?' A lot of women don't work for the money tho, they do it cos they genuinely enjoy it or they might feel fed up if stuck at home all day..
If your kids are old enough to be at school tho I don't see the big deal if she is there when they come home.. Dunno where you are but if it's in Pakistan it's prob not difficult to get her more help at home anyway..
My wife is a working woman. I always supported her but now I feel that my family life is disturbed. She can't give proper time to kids. Returning from job, she is tired.. things are going to be abnormal at home. I am a well educated and well earning person. I am trying my best to convince her to quit job for the sake of home but i guess it is too late now.
My mum is a working woman and was throughout our childhood, I don't think there's a lot to worry about when it comes to kids, we didn't feel neglected in any way and although you won't come home to freshly cooked food everyday it's worth it. Maybe she could decrease the number of hours she puts in? My mum juggled her hours throughout her career so still had the time to pick and drop us off to places and make sure we got the attention we needed.
You could juggle hours so one of you is always home and with a working wife it does mean that the husband has to pitch in with the chores and everything, it may be annoying at first but I think in the long run it's good for the kids to see both parents working, especially for girls. Imagine a daughter growing up and getting an education knowing that she may live her life never putting it to use, it's horrible and would probably even de-motivate her from making something of herself.
to be honest, i have seen very few married pakistani girls (in pakistan) who are working full time, AND willing to put in extra effort required to care for their homes. its like: since they are working, that's the only thing they would do.
for instance, i know the case of this girl who worked for a government organization in lahore. job was totally lush for her: little work and good pay. so she would work 5 days a week; leaving at 8am, returning at 7pm, having MIL's cooked dinner, and going to bed. to top it off, she would spend the saturday at her mother's house. work was all she would talk about. her work friends, how she has fun with them, how they are like family to her, and can call her any moment they want. its impossible for a husband to put up with such a woman.
another girl, my cousin's wife, works 6 days a week. her job is part-time so does put in effort at home also. but then again, spends saturday & sunday at her mother's place. i don't get this. 5 days at office, remaining 2 days at mother's place? is husband's house a hotel or something?
you get the picture? i suspect desi girls in the west are more adept at handling both: work & home, and willing to put in the extra effort needed.
why should she put in the extra effort?? why can't husband put in the extra effort?? is he not half of the family and father of children??
if husband can work 5 days a week, not put any effort into his home, and spend the remaining 2 days with his parents...........why can't the wife do the same??
moreover... cooking food or taking care of the house is not her responsibility......its only a favor if she does that....if she doesn't do that.....its not that she is ignoring her responsibilities.........she is well within her rights.....
In short......the husband is demanding too much, and not willing to put in effort....... he can't really expect his wife to do things that he himself isn't willing to do....
^ well indeed i am, sir! my point of view is retracted in honor of the always-correct women of the world! i am but a humble student! learning, still learning!
because of their inbuilt desi mentality..they want thier wives to be great cooks, look after the kids, especially iron thier clothes in the morning. And in my case, my husband would be okay with me working if its my own business , not a job somewhere because he doesnt want tharkey bosses to check me out.
^ by that example then why are men not ok with staying at home, if staying at home doesn't make one less human.
and I get women being natural mothers but not necessarily better homemakers. Cleaning, cooking, sewing, etc, these are all skills you learn. Traditionally women were thrust into those roles so they learned them and became adept at them. Today though, its not as clear, my brother had to do the exact same chores I did. I'm no more a better cook or cleaner than he is. In fact I'm quite messy, whereas my husband is a neat freak. So the better homemaker only applies to those personalities who might enjoy home tasks and apply themselves to it. I personally hate cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I'd rather work 100 hour work weeks than do any of that stuff.
^ by that example then why are men not ok with staying at home, if staying at home doesn't make one less human.
I am not sure what world are you living in, but I came across many men who will be OK to stay at home if their wives are earning equal or more than what they are making and yes, it will not make them less human.
You can not counter one wrong perception with another wrong perception.
That is the one big problem in Pakistan and may be that is the reason why most men don't want their wife to work.Tharki logon ki kami nahi hai yahan or unko to matter bhi nahi karta kay larki married hai ya single.bas lage rehte hain jab daikho. :)
^What about her being self-employed/setting up her own business so she can deal with mainly just women? Would the 'anti working women' guys still have a problem with that..
Majority of the men I know prefer their women to stay home and not work.Even guys who are considered liberal and machos sometimes prefer it too. What are the reasons & pros/cons of it?
They think if they are earning well; she should just focus on home
They feel insecure of other men at work places
They feel the wife will not be able to focus on their home & him and it will be neglected.
They feel money is the only reason to work and if they are doing it why should she
They feel women get too independent & liberated because of it
They want only them to be the priority and cannot afford seeing any other thing become priority.
Any other reasons?
Each individual may have a different reason for not wanting his wife to work. Both for men and women, earning money is not an easy thing and if man is earning enough that he can provide all the needs of his family, woman should stay at home (with a mutual agreement of course and it should be discussed prior to marriage if she is a working lady)
