Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
what planet are you talking about?
whatever you wrote is completely wrong - and senseless generalization
But issues don't have to be actual disagreements, do they? Plenty of 'back home' girls and guys don't have ideal relationships with their parents in that they're being pressured into marrying cousins, not given the freedom they want, are put down by their fathers or mothers on a regular basis etc. The kids might feel upset but culturally they taught that's just the way things are and to not make a big deal of it.. I mean just look at all the bf/gf stuff that is done behind parents' backs in Pakistan.. Those are hardly better relationships than what most of us ABCDs have, are they?
Just because issues aren't vocalised or talked about doesn't mean they don't exist..
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
Shehryar and ABC111, instead of just attacking what Deeba said, why don't you guys tell us how the kids in Pakistan have better relationships with their parents than the kids living abroad?
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
Deeba, even in UK most kids hide stuff from parents. I quite don’t understand the point of bringing this in to the debate. Anyway, people can have great or screwed up relationships regardless of their geographical background.
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
two incorrect assumptions you made
you assumed ABC and I disagreed with deeda on/for the same basis, reason
you assumed I said/meant pakistanis kids are better to parents than ppl abroad
Shehryar and ABC111, instead of just attacking what Deeba said, why don't you guys tell us how the kids in Pakistan have better relationships with their parents than the kids living abroad?
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
Shehryar and ABC111, instead of just attacking what Deeba said, why don't you guys tell us how the kids in Pakistan have better relationships with their parents than the kids living abroad?
Before I begin, let me just say that I don't have any thing personal against having GF/BF. Its everyones personal matter and I am not here to judge anyone. The point I was trying to make was that ability to talk about any unethical (as per cultural norms), or illegal (as per legal code) or unIslamic (as per Islamic law) matter with your parents does not defines whether you have a good relationship with your parents or not.
I dont claim Pakistanis have better relationships with their parents than you or anyone else for that matter. For all I know, maybe I have the worst relationship with my parents amongst all people here. What however I do know is that despite, all problems, I and people I know still love our parents. I personally had a lot of arguments with my dad a couple of years back. I even left the house once. I still have disagreements with my dad but does this means I dont love him? Not at all. Infact, if anyone even dares talk disrespectfully to my dad, Ill break his bones. Will I ever leave my dad or seek 'revenge'? Will I ever not talk to him in future? NEVER. I will always love him unconditionally and will always stand besides him for the rest of his life.
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
Culturally kids in the Pakistan/India are taught parents are never wrong tho, aren't they (for the most part anyway).. It's a totally different outlook and way of looking at things.. Even when kids are beaten or constantly criticised that idea of questioning parents usually isn't there..
So those of us living in the "west" will tell the "east" what a good relationship with their parents is like? If their cultural differences work for them then good on them. I live in Canada and still believe my parents deserve the utmost respect even if I have a different outlook on life. Lets not bring in domestic violence that's a whole different topic. Mind you none of my family members living in Pakistan beat their kids or force them to marry. You can have difference of opinion and still have a positive and respectful relationship with your parents. Neither of us live in Pakistan/India so we can't really comment on what happens there.
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
so many things in one sentence
anything you do wrong you get scared, from police, parents, God
sharing things is something completely different - telling your dad you have a great date besides the fact that he e.g. ried to kiss you is not called 'sharing things'
neither advice, dad should i date him or him
things that need sharing e.g. i got a scholarship - pakistani kids do
things that need advice e.g. where should i apply - pakistani kids do
but it means kids are scared of their parents and will hide things they need to share or ask advice on.
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
Nobody said everything but if you have a good relationship with your parents you should be able to discuss most things calmly and without fear.. and not just practical things..
This thread is implying ABCD girls don’t have as good relationships with their parents as back homers and I pointed out that HONESTY is one of the most important traits of a relationship.. If you’re having to hide things that’s an obvious negative in a relationship to most rational people.. All I did was point out that ‘issues’ aren’t limited to arguments and what you see on the surface..
It’s like that rubbish the little group of posters (not you) keep spouting about how arranged marriages MUST be more successful than love cos the divorce rate is lower
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
Nobody said everything but if you have a good relationship with your parents you should be able to discuss most things calmly and without fear.. and not just practical things..
Exactly my point as well and for those living in the east it may be that they discuss everything except gf/bf relationships. Different culture - different expectations - different rules.
This thread is implying ABCD girls don't have as good relationships with their parents as back homers and I pointed out that HONESTY is one of the most important traits of a relationship.. If you're having to hide things that's an obvious negative in a relationship to most rational people.. All I did was point out that 'issues' aren't limited to arguments and what you see on the surface..
I disagree with the assumption as well that ABCD girls don't have good relationships with their parents but that's just as wrong as the generalizations you presented. Again different culture and honestly we can't assume what kids hide and don't hide from parents in Pakistan and India.
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
I agree with Deeba for the most part. I see it in my own relationship with my parents and my husband's relationship with his parents. =/ I'm extremely comfortable telling them most things, whereas my husband can't say a word in disagreement to his parents. He thinks it's disrespectful, even if you're just presenting your view to your parents. When talks about our marriage date etc were being brought up, me and my husband wanted to convey to our parents that we'd like for the wedding to be pushed back a year or two. I went directly to my parents and brought it up calmly, told them the reasons why I didn't want to be married so soon etc etc and they understood me. They agreed and decided to talk to my husbands parents. However, my husband thought it would be disrespectful if he presented a view different to his parents (even if he said it respectfully, calmly etc) and in the end they were very forceful and adamant that the marriage take place immediately.
It really is taught that you can't have a different view than what your parents see it as, otherwise it's some deep offense. I'm born and raised in the US but I wouldn't dare be disrespectful to my parents. There are definitely families that have much more open relationships with their kids in the subcontinent, but I think it generally boils down to your education and upbringing. It defines how your relationships will be with most people.
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
There is BARELY anyone on this planet that has not had some issues with their parents at one point or another in their lifetime...particularly during their teenage years.
I've seen girls here and girls there do some serious battameezi...its got zero to do with the culture.
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
People in Pakistan have all kinds of mom/dad issues. It's just that they don't tell everyone about it. I've never told anyone about my daddy issues(online forums don't count). Kids in Pakistan have to bear with their parents a lot longer, compared to those living in the first world, because their financial dependence on their parents lasts a lot longer. That's true for the most of the Pakistani people, except for those extremely poor or rich.
This might be a reason people perceive Pakistanis living in the first world to be a lot more bratty than those living back home. The kids at home simply can't afford to be bratty, they have to compromise. This might cause them to hate their parents more, cause they can blame their parents for having shi*y lives(everyone can, but easier for us over here).
Re: Why do most ABCD/BBCD/CBCD girls have mom/dad issues?
I won't even bother asking "or is it just me?", because I know for a fact they do.
Discuss
I do not have many issues with my parents. There was a time when I was in high school that I used to get offended by whatever my parents did like what car they drove or where we went out and why do they have the better thing. I admit I am quite shallow. I tell my mom everything but not my dad because he gets uncomfortable with me talking about personal issues or feminine issues. But, if I have a problem or something needs to be solved immediately, I go straight to my dad. BTW, what is this ABCD/BBCD/CBCD labels?
