Fazool? behes? If a girl repents before Allah and Allah forgives her..who are men to raise issues? Agreed that a girl shudnt lie..but it's actually men that lure girls to it! Men blackmail girls and say if u love me..and many girls do go ahead for the fear of losing him and his "love"..
NO girl is "unclean"
The issue is not the sin she has or has not repented for, it is the lie, the act of deceiving the person she marries.
The topic has taken a diff turn..u missed that.. =) there's no way lying is acceptable. A girl usually lies to be accepted by the guy.. there are plenty of men out there who claim to have never been with anyone and later to come to know that they lied throughout!
I am actually replying to Jimmy here who finds such girls "filthy" etc.. that girl committed a sin, she asked Allah for forgiveness and Allah forgives everyone that repents with sincerity..
Re: Why do girls lie about having had boyfriends ?
As a matter of fact ... girls are becoming more shameless than boys... I wrote on similar thing in another thread of same section. below I m copying it:
It is the stupidity of boys that girls now develop relations with many boys. Ok. Girls should be allowed for it. But girl should ask her new boy freind to first kill her first boy friend. There should be real fight between the two. If first boy friend wins the fight ... then he should spit on the face of that stupid girl friend and should allow her to carry on her relations with new (who lose) boy friend. Then old boy friend should completely leave that girl friend and should find more girl friends for him.
If old boy friend loses the fight .... Either he should fight till his death. He should not lose in anyway. He should prefer to die. But in case he really loses ... then he should allow that girl friend to spit on him and go with new boy friend. If the girl friend really does so ... then .... he should not give up her for ever. He should keep on trying to improve his powers and abilities. At suitable time ... he should again fight with that new boy friend and shoud beat him ... he should fight till death. If he beats new boy friend and that girl friend feels ashamed of her ownself ... then he should forgive that girl friend. And should marry her.
As a matter of fact ... girls are becoming more shameless than boys... I wrote on similar thing in another thread of same section. below I m copying it:
It is the stupidity of boys that girls now develop relations with many boys. Ok. Girls should be allowed for it. But girl should ask her new boy freind to first kill her first boy friend. There should be real fight between the two. If first boy friend wins the fight ... then he should spit on the face of that stupid girl friend and should allow her to carry on her relations with new (who lose) boy friend. Then old boy friend should completely leave that girl friend and should find more girl friends for him.
If old boy friend loses the fight .... Either he should fight till his death. He should not lose in anyway. He should prefer to die. But in case he really loses ... then he should allow that girl friend to spit on him and go with new boy friend. If the girl friend really does so ... then .... he should not give up her for ever. He should keep on trying to improve his powers and abilities. At suitable time ... he should again fight with that new boy friend and shoud beat him ... he should fight till death. If he beats new boy friend and that girl friend feels ashamed of her ownself ... then he should forgive that girl friend. And should marry her.
watching too much animal stuff and their mating preps ( national Geographic & discovery) ???
Because men make such a big deal about it.
women don't...
there we have it once again,
the PERFECT woman and the B A S T A R D a.k.a. MEN
PS
you only mentioned one sad story which is really really sad. Shall I now share 2 Stories of Men who have been victim of your perfect gender which is always perfect and has no flaws? The stories have a dimension you will not even dare to dream about them in your wildest dreams.
Both have flaws, men and women. Our duty in the long run is to make the things clear and really it's none of our business, be it man or be it woman to share our past with our spouse. Both men and women are not allowed to ask about a irrelevant past/issue. If you want to begin from scratch and you want it from the bottom of your heart, Allah is with you. If stones are laid infront of your way, then take whatever action you want and divorce. Allah is not pleasured with that way, but this wrath shall be upon those who cannot even accept one of the rules given to us. It is truly - and I say it once again - none of our business to put our nose in the past of your wife or husband.
It becomes a business of yours in the future, but not before. Don't forget that!
Instead of solving the issue you will create problems and this will lead to frustration, frustration will lead to tension and tension will lead to the ultimate death of your spirit. It is hard to recover. Instead of creating problems we should seek solutions and consult Allah. He is the one who created you and
"Oh ye believer I have only created you to see who is best in deeds"
and this truly is not a good deed of a husband or a wife to nose in the past of the spouse.
Dear males, if you want to nose around in the past of your wife, it will not help you further, but give you tension and you will make decision which you will surely regret. Even though we all should speak the truth it is none of our business to interfere in the past of a woman who wants to put a veil on her mistakes. Instead of making it easy for her, you ask questions which aren't related to the marriage. Everyone makes mistakes and not only Men are "allowed" to make mistakes. Women have the same rights, if they want to follow men, shall they! We can tell them not to do so, but using violence? Nada, Niente, Non, No, Nein, Naheen, you are not allowed. It is between Allah and him/her...
That is such a weak relationship in the beginning but you people have made a game of it. If you like the to play you play, if not you leave as if nothing happened. As if a marriage has not a meaning, as everything is just fun and it should not be taken serious. I ball when I want, I don't when I don't want.
This is the level we have come down to, right? Your hearts and your souls should be filled with shame and pity that you want to know the past of your spouse.
May Allah guide you to the right path and may he enlighten to you that a marriage is a blessing of Allah and who rejects this blessing, he is not worthy of getting any blessing again.
Thank You
The issue is not the sin she has or has not repented for, it is the lie, the act of deceiving the person she marries.
if i say the same for a guy then...??? dont you think the boys do the same, even (if you say) girls hide their past, i say, boys hide their PRESENT even... wht is it then???
Re: Why do girls lie about having had boyfriends ?
**I think, what was taken as girl bashing. It actually was an effort to tell girls that guys "know".
So be honest about it, tell your true feeling about it. Having a perfect wedding day might not be the only thing you girls want to achieve from marriage.
OR IS IT???**
I think, what was taken as girl bashing. It actually was an effort to tell girls that guys "know".
So be honest about it, tell your true feeling about it. Having a perfect wedding day might not be the only thing you girls want to achieve from marriage. OR IS IT???
does it matter you??? if yes... why dont you take this initiative??? not just about relationships, but about everything in your life..... its not just the wedding day but the whole life, that disturbs, if we keep arguing about eachother's past... knowing understanding the present will make the future bright...
does it matter you??? if yes... why dont you take this initiative??? not just about relationships, but about everything in your life..... its not just the wedding day but the whole life, that disturbs, if we keep arguing about eachother's past... knowing understanding the present will make the future bright...
what kind of initiative ? being honest ?
I am an honest person.
what kind of initiative ? being honest ? I am an honest person.
how shud i know??? how cn i believe???
Re: Why do girls lie about having had boyfriends ?
no1 need to share his/her sins …
how shud i know??? how cn i believe???
No reason.
Ppl who know me they know. To me lying to some one is accepting their authority over you.
Only time I lie was to my father, about saying prayer.
Thats about it.
No reason.
Ppl who know me they know. To me lying to some one is accepting their authority over you. Only time I lie was to my father, about saying prayer. Thats about it.
Good, the same point i wnted to bring you at, now if a girl says the same, do believe in her, just as i believed in wht you said... dont try to dig out her past... wht i feel personally is, when there is strong relationship buildup, both, the husband n wife, share their experiences eventually... so digging out her past in initial stage can make her away from you, n believing in her can make her believe in you, n tell you all tht, she ever had gone through in her past.. :)
Re: Why do girls lie about having had boyfriends ?
for a better n happy future life forget the past n worry abt the future , digging in som1 personal issues wont brought happiness for u ... n if som1 hav som fishy fishy life scandal , leave thm , forgiv thm n concentrate on future life ..:p
Re: Why do girls lie about having had boyfriends ?
**Let me spell it out for you.
men don't rape men in prisons in pakistan.
men DO rape men in prisons in west.
Because in west, un-like east, they are not "USED TO " to leave it in the pants for long times.
Same way there are 2 kinds of girls on this planet.
1-One who said no to, or hung up at "CALLs" from downstairs.(good girls)
2-Other ones who attended every call , and enjoyed the conversation too. Thats their type! (likely to do it again)
**
for a better n happy future life forget the past n worry abt the future , digging in som1 personal issues wont brought happiness for u ... n if som1 hav som fishy fishy life scandal , leave thm , forgiv thm n concentrate on future life ..:p
agreed :D
if i say the same for a guy then...??? dont you think the boys do the same, even (if you say) girls hide their past, i say, boys hide their PRESENT even... wht is it then???
Of course if guys do the same thing, it is just as messed up. The reason i referred to girls was because the original topic was about particular girls who hid their past.
It just ticks me off that some girls give sympathetic explanations for it, twist the topic and get all defensive. There is no need to say 'but she did it because she feared losing the guy she loves'.
Girls who say that only end up looking like those little insecure kids who cry and tell their parents 'but he did it too!' Just stand up to it and maturely and responsibly say "yes, deceiving a future spouse is messed up, and it does not matter whether it is a male or a female"
We can always make a separate topic to bash guys :)
women don't...
there we have it once again,
the PERFECT woman and the B A S T A R D a.k.a. MEN
PS
you only mentioned one sad story which is really really sad. Shall I now share 2 Stories of Men who have been victim of your perfect gender which is always perfect and has no flaws? The stories have a dimension you will not even dare to dream about them in your wildest dreams.
Both have flaws, men and women. Our duty in the long run is to make the things clear and really it's none of our business, be it man or be it woman to share our past with our spouse. Both men and women are not allowed to ask about a irrelevant past/issue. If you want to begin from scratch and you want it from the bottom of your heart, Allah is with you. If stones are laid infront of your way, then take whatever action you want and divorce. Allah is not pleasured with that way, but this wrath shall be upon those who cannot even accept one of the rules given to us. It is truly - and I say it once again - none of our business to put our nose in the past of your wife or husband.
It becomes a business of yours in the future, but not before. Don't forget that!
Instead of solving the issue you will create problems and this will lead to frustration, frustration will lead to tension and tension will lead to the ultimate death of your spirit. It is hard to recover. Instead of creating problems we should seek solutions and consult Allah. He is the one who created you and
"Oh ye believer I have only created you to see who is best in deeds"
and this truly is not a good deed of a husband or a wife to nose in the past of the spouse.
Dear males, if you want to nose around in the past of your wife, it will not help you further, but give you tension and you will make decision which you will surely regret. Even though we all should speak the truth it is none of our business to interfere in the past of a woman who wants to put a veil on her mistakes. Instead of making it easy for her, you ask questions which aren't related to the marriage. Everyone makes mistakes and not only Men are "allowed" to make mistakes. Women have the same rights, if they want to follow men, shall they! We can tell them not to do so, but using violence? Nada, Niente, Non, No, Nein, Naheen, you are not allowed. It is between Allah and him/her...
That is such a weak relationship in the beginning but you people have made a game of it. If you like the to play you play, if not you leave as if nothing happened. As if a marriage has not a meaning, as everything is just fun and it should not be taken serious. I ball when I want, I don't when I don't want. This is the level we have come down to, right? Your hearts and your souls should be filled with shame and pity that you want to know the past of your spouse.
May Allah guide you to the right path and may he enlighten to you that a marriage is a blessing of Allah and who rejects this blessing, he is not worthy of getting any blessing again.
Thank You
Take arranged marriage for example. Parents want to find their daughters men who have not slept around, who do not lie, who do not have a temper problem etc. The only way they'll makean informed decision is by observing what the person has or has not done so far.
Just as the college i'm applying for needs to know my grades and my behavior (drugs, jail etc), if a guy wants to marry a girl, his past becomes the girl's business and if she wants to marry him, her past becomes his business. Marriage includes knowing each other, SHARING a life---that means past present and future. We are not talking about any random person nosing around.
In other words, when u make the decision to marry someone, u are also making the decision to make ur business someone else's business.
Why worry over sumone's past? Everyone has a past...even if she is honest with u and tells u will u ever look at her the same way? Nahin..men never forgive nor forget!
What if the guy told the girl to do it if she loved him..? Even a "good girl" wud get weak for the guy she loves.. the same guy can dump her the very next day but that doesn't really matter!
If u decide on being with sumone, let their past be...it's the future u shud be concerned with.. and for people that loathe girls that aren't virgins, "baray bol nahin bolnay chahiye"