Why childcare

Femme_Fatale · May 15, 2008, 5:18pm

Re: Why childcare

[MOD]GUYS SERIOUSLY! CAN WE NOT HAVE THIS DISCUSSION WITHOUT GETING PERSONAL AND ATTACKING OTHERS' CHOICES? IF YOU CANNOT DISCUSS THIS IN A CIVIL MANNER WHILE RESPECTING EACHOTHERS POINTS OF VIEW I WILL BE FORCED TO LOCK THIS THREAD. YOUR CALL.[/MOD]

Mamaof3 · May 15, 2008, 5:32pm

Re: Why childcare

yes Ma'am! you're right. lets all play nice!

numb, can I ask you an off-topic question?....have you been here under a different nick? You remind me of someone we all once knew and wondered about.....

hareem01 · May 15, 2008, 5:42pm

Re: Why childcare

Numb

good posts bro:biggthumb

dil khush ker diya

ahmadjee · May 15, 2008, 6:16pm

Re: Why childcare

Did you know that AnHazoor (saw) went to child care, and not only the 8 hour a day but a live away kind, almost sounds like a boarding school for toddlers. :-/

Spock · May 15, 2008, 6:22pm

Re: Why childcare

I guess its a matter of personal choice of preferences, I agree with both sides, as they have valid arguments. I think before a couple gets married, they should agree on such things or one of them will end up very unhappy.

hareem01 · May 15, 2008, 6:36pm

Re: Why childcare

and that's why we should send every baby to child care.....?

Haleema Sadia(ra) was Prophet(SAW)'s wet-nurse...she wasn't a child minder of a nursery of 30 infants, working for money.

hareem01 · May 15, 2008, 6:38pm

Re: Why childcare

That's true...but the best for any under 3 years old is to stay with her mother.

Spock · May 15, 2008, 6:56pm

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I agree with that, personally.

hareem01 · May 15, 2008, 7:34pm

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oh and welcome back ....:)...its good to see you on GS again.

Numb · May 16, 2008, 9:02am

Re: Why childcare

Mamaof3:

This topic usually creates very heated debate but it really shouldnt. Each and every couple on the planet has different circumstances, beleifs, customs and desires as far as how to raise their family. Its a private matter yeah? What works for one family may not work for another. So its not up to us to judge. Its up to us to do our own best for our own family.

That aside, numb man you need to do a bit of analysis before you move on to fatherhood! You said

“I don’t need a home staying mom, I don’t need childcare, I only need my kids and their happiness”

Wrong! Ok, so you plan to stay home and home-school your kids. So you will need a high-earning wife. Or a wife who will take care of home, family, home-schooling. Whoever does the schooling needs to be an educated and very dedicated person who is willing to take on this more than full-time hob in addition to the more than full-time job of taking care of house, home and family. Otherwise, how will you buy food, clothing and shelter? So you care nothing about money? Thats a lovely thought, truly. Yet when you have children and no money, will you feel bad when your children need to wear worn-out hand-me-down clothes? Or when they’re cold in winter because you have to live in sub-standard housing? Money is a requirement of living these days. Unless of course you become a self-sufficient farmer but thats out too because farmers work from dawn to dusk - who then will home-school the kids?

When you do have kids one day, you will find - as most people do - that your ideals of family life very often fall by the wayside. Its a great thing to have ideals and to hold on to them. Yet you will one day see that it isnt possible to hold to them.

Now, where did I say I say I wanna stay home and build a college?
Do you think that the father who taught her daughter from the 5th grade till the 13th grade stayed at home 24/7? He sacrificed his freedom, because his kids were his freedom!

How much money do you need? Do I need 50 pairs of shoes like you women do? Or the newest fragrance, the newest lip stick? the newest clothes?

When I look in the wardrobe of my cousin and see these 100 different clothes, for what do you need 'em I ask? Well, you have to look good. Look good for the girls, play the Gigolo…Yeah, I like it!

Sure, you need money to survive! but how much? Once in awhile you can afford luxuries, like a having an extraordinary dinner, extraordinary holidays, but on what do we spend mostly our money? On nonsense…

My ideas and wishes will come true cause these are plans given by God. God has made a plan, mentioned it in the Qur’an and when you follow it, God will never let you down. And NO I’m not a Mullah, never was, never will be…

I’m such a bad person, but God never let me down. Sometimes I really really wonder why I’am still alive even though I don’t deserve to be in this world anymore…

@Mamaof3:

I never came across you in the last 3 years…Didn’t know you. I don’t have a different nick. Why would I? I have 2 personalities. Evil and Angel.

Numb · May 16, 2008, 9:10am

Re: Why childcare

ShiNoO:

The reason I said you have issues is because tameez se baat karna is definitely not your cup of tea. You feel attacked and offended by everyone here while you are the one who has ridiculous replies and unnecessary namecalling!

I’m not even going to get into (again) your false accusations and judgments you wrote in the quoted text. Kisnay kahaa ke women always back each other up? Have you never followed any discussions here on GS between women??

I never said I am better than you but yes I will give you my opinion if you like to hear it. I think there’s nothing wrong with women who leave their child in a childcare institution. Given that at least the first year of the kids life is spent with his/her mother. Kids need to go out of their sheltered life and interact with the world. Aakhir issi dunya mein rehna hai sab ne. I have seen many examples of kids who were brought up home till they were of a schoolgoing age and had trouble to adjust and play with other kids. Their social skills were underdeveloped Example: my very own nephew; he only started speaking once he joined childcare. And that's not because his mother never taught him or didn't stimulate, on the contrary. They pick up (even the smallest) things at daycare. Things even mothers can't teach them!

If you want to homeschool your future kids and have a stay-at-home wife then that’s your choice. Respect other that don’t share your opinion!

Aap bilkul sahi hain, meyn hi Ghalat hoon. Raaz!!!? I have heard it for the first time in my life that the kids started speaking when he was in school, lol...anyway, yeh bi hota hai...bot se ajoobe hote hain zindagi me...Do you accuse me of locking my kids @home? YOU GOT ME TOTALLY WRONG, BIG TIME...

what does social skill mean for a 6 year old kid? Build a castle made of sand?

take care...

ShiNoO · May 16, 2008, 11:25am

Re: Why childcare

Play with eachother without hitting eachother or fighting, sharing your toys/food. Listening to elders etc!

Nope, I did not accuse you of anything.

hareem01 · May 16, 2008, 2:56pm

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Toddlers who stay most of the time away from their parents(especially mother) are usually aggressive, they bite and hit.

S02 · May 16, 2008, 3:05pm

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^ The most aggressive kids I've seen are born and raised in Pakistan. My cousins raised here have not shown any of that kind of behavior.

hareem01 · May 16, 2008, 3:47pm

Re: Why childcare

Then probably their parents were like that, aggressive. Often children's behaviour is reflection of their parents actions, if parents don't give any attention to children then children become aggressive or anti social or sometimes quite.

A bad parent should analyse his/her mistakes and sort his/herself out by understanding the needs of children instead of dumping them in a daycare nursery.

Afro-Sheen · May 16, 2008, 4:52pm

Re: Why childcare

So how do you explain the toddlers/kids who display the same behaviors and worst, that actually do stay at home with their mothers?

This is a general comment below, so please no one take personal offense...
In general I have also seen some really bathmeez/disrespectful kids who are home all day with their mothers. You can't be ignorant and think that only if mother's stay at home with kids do they turn out ok. Everyone's situation is different. Not everyone can afford to stay at home, and no the woman is not always working to afford "luxuries"....its basic necessities too...like food, mortgage/rent, gas/commuter expenses, baby supplies, baby food...etc....not always to have the bigger car, the bigger house or whatever it is that people assume. Everyone has their situation. Not everything is clear cut either...
just because a woman will stay home with kids, doesn't 100% mean the kids will turn out better and on opposite side just because a woman is working, does not mean the kids will go stray or whatever other reasons were given.
All we can do is hope and pray and do the best we can with our kids.

I think someone said it before...its the "Quality not Quantity"of time spent together that matters most, and the values you teach, and live by example. You try your best, and rest you pray that Allah guides them well.

Spock · May 16, 2008, 5:18pm

Re: Why childcare

I agree, but then again there are kids there who behave very well too. It has to do with how much 'tameez' their parents teach them. Sometimes I have seen kids do idiotic stuff when they are guests are someone else's place and their parents dont even bother to stop them. This is the main reason, and I dont think the topic at hand has anything to do with it, because its the childcare people, or the parents who have to teach manners to the kids. I believe either one is capable to do the job, if they do it properly.

ahmadjee · May 16, 2008, 5:58pm

Re: Why childcare

I personally think Osama is the way he is because his parents pushed him too hard during potty training. And Bush is dumb cos his parents let him drink a little too early.

Niksik · May 16, 2008, 6:29pm

Re: Why childcare

Mrs.Shikra · May 16, 2008, 6:56pm

Re: Why childcare

hahahahahaahha…lol…this is sooo funny…this thread needed some humor…