why childcare? what childcare? I’d never put my kid in childcare, jo marrzi hojai and I’m a man who stands to what he says!
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
^ we will see when u get a kid, come back again and tell us then.
ps. i dont want to go into this discussion again.
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
why childcare? what childcare? I'd never put my kid in childcare, jo marrzi hojai and I'm a man who stands to what he says!
I agree with you 100%!
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
how will u see? 
why would u put your kid in childcare? No time? Great, why making kids then?
I cannot even think about giving my kid for even a second to someone else…if you’re fine with that, you’re fine…I only asked why…I didn’t ask for ur sh’t comment which I outlined…
I don’t want to get with you in a discussion as well, it’s senseless…
Sadzz,
koi gunna kardiya humne aggar poocha why u wanna put your kid in childcare? Is it forbidden to ask why, why, why? Kiya hai childcare? I ask why don’t the babies whoms parents can’t care for them due to work - what a reason - aren’t born directly in a childcare station?
I didn’t tell you to not put your child in childcare, do whatever you want! Tumara baacha hai, mera to nai ha naa and please put down the “We don’t like Numb” glasses…
And yes I STAND TO WHAT I SAY…DEKH LENA!!!
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
Because the original question is about transition in child day care center and not why we put kids there, thats a whole different question, if u want an anwser to that open a new thread, many people will come and answer ur concern and question, why I believe that this discussion is senseless because we had it before and as soon as someone opens a thread about day care or any other care for kids, some clever people pop up and ask why and make those mothers look bad, even though we discusses the pros and cons of it!!!
good for u that u will have your child at home, I hope he/she gets the best care and when we are at it, why send your child to school when it can learn ABC and 123 at home.
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
^
In one thread I already mentioned that I would not send my kids to school. I'd educate them! There is one teacher, her daughter was leveled low by the school when she was about to be sent to the grammar school. The school wanted to send her to the middle school. The father said no way and taught her till the 13 th grade and she made it with 1,0 average. First in every subject!
She never went to school after the basic school. The father was a teacher himself and you all (may) know how hard this job is. You're always on the run.
THIS IS CHILDCARE, but that is an another story...
My intention was not to make mothers look bad! That would mean I disrespect my whife as well. Hell, NO WAY...Why these prejudices towards me? WHY? WHY? All the damn time! I'll be the last one to make a mother look bad!
THE LAST ONE...HOLLA :/
if you want to say something on it PM me...
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
Islamically, paisa gharr leke aane ki duty kisko hai? Marrad ko, yaan Orat ko? I'm not saying women aren't not allowed to work, I'm not saying women shouldn't work, lekin childcare to wo care hai when one of both stays at home and spends some quality time with the child?
I guess we send our kids to school, because there allegedly you get a better qualification, but that is not true as we see in the example I mentioned. The school leveled her low, didn't believe in them and this what happens to alot of childrens, I've seen that!
Father and mother should know what is best for their kids, not childcare or a school which dictates you what kind of level you have!
this is goin' offtopic...I don't need an anwer anymore, it was my fault asking why? Sorry, if I sounded offensive...have a nice one...
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
Funny how it's the young college-age single guys complaining about childcare.
You guys start squeezing out babies and then come back here and tell us who we women are to raise our families :)
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
Numb, no reason to get all emtional and calling all these names, not so nice. It's good that you are taking interest in the topic, nice to see men thinking of their future.
I hope you get a stay at home wife, sometimes we have to work and I know many females who worked and their kids turned out fine.
You know the main reason some females works is for their kids, if Allah na karey something happens to their husband, what will a stay at home mother will do, she will have no choice as to take a job and what kind of a job will a female get without any experience in professional life, you guessed it as a cleaning lady in some office building.
so its not all bad !! like i said there are pros and cons.
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
why childcare? what childcare? I'd never put my kid in childcare, jo marrzi hojai and I'm a man who stands to what he says!
MashaAllah brother it is good to see desi men take a stand and be willing to be stay at home dads to take care of their children. Very impressed.
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
The argument of a women should pause her career while she is raising kids has some merits but has some major issues especially in the desi context where there are many kids lets just use an example of some girl who finished her education and got married in 2008 at 25.. and then has four kids, starting with teh first one in 2010 and each other kid after a 2 year interval. her last kid would be born in 2016, and will be school age in 2021.
she will be 38, not fitting the profile of a entry level position, if she has continued education on teh side, she will also be overqualified and under experienced.
thats the reality folks.
think of your field, and honestly ask yourself, how would a 12-13 year absence from the industry impact your career.
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
mashAllah mashAllah! very nice!
Re: Is it easy? (Childcare question)
Numb, women who work dont necessarily want to give up their kids or dont think about their kids... more than likely (and same in my situation) i work to provide her with a future and to support my husband.. i know in this day and age how much financial stress there is...
so, no, i dont think im a bad mother.. if im thinking about my child's future and want to give her the best, than i think putting her in childcare a year before she actually does start real school, is no harm at all :)
and yes, u did judge.. u called me a stupid mother... pls refrain from this
Re: Why childcare
So, I'v been warned, I'll keep my mouth shut...I'm done here, have fun @GS...
delete that account if possible...
X2, Angel thanks for the laugh...much appreciated!
Sadzz,
I didn't say that moms who work want to give up their kids, you got me totally wrong, neither did I say women aren't allowed to work, it's good if you want to support your husband, but I think MONEY is not everything...Materialism is nothing...
There is much financial stress because we see other people with fancy cars, we see small 2 months babies with tiny awwww nike shoes and we want to have this as well...you know what, people are judged by the money they have, not by their status, if you got something you are something, if you got nothing, you are nothing and it's ALLAH who provides us with all these things, Mensch denkt, Gott lenkt...
and you know the root of all evil is money...peace sister, may this decision be fruitful for you...
Man proposes, God disposes...
HOLLA
Re: Why childcare
haha I agree with you Numb.
I am not against moms working but it comes back to why have kids if your gonna throw them in child care the same year? I am not married therefore don't have kids and I am not a woman so I am sure you mothers have 100x more understanding than me, so try to explain it to me. Why should I let my future wife work at the same time sacrificing my child's future?
I don't get the "financial stress" thing - to me that's BS. I don't get why people need to have 3 room houses for 1 baby? What's up with that? It's all BS! Materialism like Numb said is nothing.
In this day and age, especially if your living in a country like America - where does the financial stress come please tell. I know we have unique situations but seriously how unique can you get? I know a man with 5 kids, works in a factory is happily living in a 2 bedroom apartment. His wife stays home obviously to take care of the kids. The kids have access to schooling and all the resources they need. Of course the parents make sacrifices for their kids, that's what they have to do, inshAllah some day the kids will repay their parents. I know there must be stress on this father because I am his son! But not once he made me feel like I need to give up something. like Numb mentioned, ALLAH provides.
Now please explain to me WHY the need for a bigger house, bigger car..etc when you can be happy with what you have and at the SAME TIME provide a strong future for your CHILD!?
Re: Why childcare
numb and cricket, there is more to the story here than you are considering.
If you choose to live in the west in a somewhat suburban area close to a city, prices are extremely high. Salaries are higher too, but not enough to make up for the cost of living. So, you have your kids and you want them to have what the OTHER kids have, things like soccer clubs, dance school, music lessons, swimming lessons, horseback riding etc. Each one being horrendously expensive. All their friends will go to summer day camps - another expense. Most will go to pre-school from age 2 (sometimes 3 but mostly age 2). I could list the approximate cost of each here in suburban new york but you'd most likely call me a liar lol.
I am lucky enough to be blessed with a hubby who earns enough that we can squeak by and give each boy one or two extras. But my heart breaks occasionally when we cant do something that their friends are doing.
I've been looking for part-time work-from-home - a rather impossible job type for sure. But once the youngest is in school full time, I'm for sure going back to work because unless you're one of the silver-spoon crowd, its really a necessity to have a 2 income family. We have a small (almost tiny) house. We have 2 nice cars that will need to last us quite a long time. We arent greedy money-hounds.
There are many like us and also many MORE who are not quite as fortunate so the mom MUST work to provide essentials in order to live within a really good school district. Its not a matter of greed. Each person needs to find their own level of comfort and their own manner of living. I worry each and every day because we live in such a wealthy town. That means top-notch education but it also means that my boys are at the bottom of the chain as far as being able to keep up with what the other kids have. Its not a simple matter here. Home life is very important. Yet, life AWAY from home is just as important - or even more - to a child.
Another thing is that a working professional career mother sets a great example for her children. Most especially if she has girls. From an early age, the children learn that even moms can be income-earners.
Its so far from the truth to beleive that its all due to greed and wanting bigger houses or nicer cars.
Re: Why childcare
Some people just get emotional without reason, to each his own, just don't judge or put down others who don't have the same beliefs as you do.
Re: Why childcare
cricket, I just cant resist telling you a couple of things about cost of living in suburban new york. A breakdown of some expenses:
housing (if you own): $2000 per month at minimum, includes tax
utilities: about 700 per month
food: about 1400 per month for a family of 4
car insurance and payments: about 800 per month for 2 decent cars
soccer for one child: $240 per year
pre-school: about 750 per month for 5 half-days
dance class for one child: 1000 per year
music lessons for one child: $60 for 60 minutes (meaning 240 per month)
Now this doesnt include when they're young and in diapers, but it works out kind of the same because you arent spending money on those other things like music lessons till they're older.
So if you decide to live in the west, in a suburban area close to the city, should you have a vasectomy or have tubes tied? Or do you have your kids and send them to a great school district and do the best you can? Do you move to a rural area and give up professional careers? Or have mom go to work and life is good all around?
Re: Why childcare
Mamaof3, where I come from those things you posted are called luxuries...but I say it again, to each his own. I am not against it. We all have our own priorities and what not. Whatever floats your boat eh. :D
aahmed, not getting emotional, just want to understand..
Re: Why childcare
So if you decide to live in the west, in a suburban area close to the city, should you have a vasectomy or have tubes tied? Or do you have your kids and send them to a great school district and do the best you can? Do you move to a rural area and give up professional careers? Or have mom go to work and life is good all around?
Montreal is where I live and I know NY's cost of living is through the roof compared to Montreal. I am paying around 2K for the house per month so that's the house. Now I am not sure if everyone will go for dance, music, karate, etc classes... Again those are optional, you don't have to send your kids to dance/music I mean seriously? To each his own like I said. Also you can work around the cars, if your living in the city, take advantage of public transportation. :D just kidding, it's about the convenience I know.
I am not talking about vasectomy, I am all for having kids :D just don't get why sacrifice the child's future by working? Talking about great school district, I don't know how it works in the states but here all schools to me are the same (+/- depending on neighborhood) unless you want to send your kid to some private institution then different story.
How is life good all around when mom goes to work? Like one mother stated above, she worries about her kids all the time so imagine at work? Then the stress of home life. I salute you mothers for that!
Anyways I am not arguing, I am trying to understand why would a mother throw her kid in child care? Until he's not in school I don't think mom should work.