ek aur PCG ka khair khwaan 
PCG you have quiet a fan following ??
this curse will come to you back insha'allah! seeing your attitude and I hate Pakistani/Desi Men I think you already have been crused by Allah himself because all you say and see is hatred. I don't know how much you believe in Allah, but I guarantee you he has cursed you. His curse for you is blindness.
That's harsh. That's also a big guarantee you're making. We should not wish for Allah's curse on anybody. InshAllah I hope she (and anyone else hoping to get married, for that matter) find someone who she's happy with and vice versa.
Re: Why Boys Marry From Backhome
icon why do you desire to stir things up?
Re: Why Boys Marry From Backhome
^ "Mein Zahr-e-halahal ko kabhi keh na saka qand"
Now translate that to english
That's harsh. That's also a big guarantee you're making. We should not wish for Allah's curse on anybody. InshAllah I hope she (and anyone else hoping to get married, for that matter) find someone who she's happy with and vice versa.
I'm not wishing it or do you see there anywhere me wishing so?
I'm not wishing it or do you see there anywhere me wishing so?
I got that impression when you said this:
this curse will come to you back insha'allah!
Curse you discriminating Pakistani men. You watch. When your daughters grow older, no one is gonna want to marry them, and I hope they bring the ugliest red-haired gora home.
I hope he's annoying as hell.
LMAO!!! :D
Re: Why Boys Marry From Backhome
Clearly PyariCGudia was joking :S ...
Most Pakistanis guys would prefer marrying a Pakistani girl who shares their culture, values and be a source of support and inspiration and not end up being high maintainance...
Whether the desi girls from here tend to agree or not, the common perception is that the desi girls, especially in North America, tend to be too difficult to get alongwith in the long run....there's a lot of 'gora mentality' in them...which some Pakistani guys may like...but the vast majority do not.
Plus, parents prefer a girl from back home as well....as they believe she will be more capable and willing to get along with the family members of the groom in the long run....etc...lots of factors come into play.
At the end of the day, there are good desi girls here as well who would make good wives but there have been a lot of negative stories thrown out about them..which is why most guys and their families would rather be safe and find a girl from back home instead.
Less drama I guess.
Most Pakistanis guys would prefer marrying a Pakistani girl who shares their culture, values and be a source of support and inspiration and not end up being high maintainance...
Whether the desi girls from here tend to agree or not, the common perception is that the desi girls, especially in North America, tend to be too difficult to get alongwith in the long run....there's a lot of 'gora mentality' in them...which some Pakistani guys may like...but the vast majority do not.
Plus, parents prefer a girl from back home as well....as they believe she will be more capable and willing to get along with the family members of the groom in the long run....etc...lots of factors come into play.
At the end of the day, there are good desi girls here as well who would make good wives but there have been a lot of negative stories thrown out about them..which is why most guys and their families would rather be safe and find a girl from back home instead.
Less drama I guess.
So in other words this is based on assumption as well, so in that case aren`t you playing a blind as to importing someone, i mean if you were to bring a "pious" a non-north american larkee with "non-goray" khayalaat , you are saying they are a better bet, hmmmmm. The reason i ask you this is because sometimes ppls generalisation kindda bothers me key pakistan kee mazhabi aur hamaarey rasm-o-rivaajon ko jaanney waali larkee jis ko aap jaantay hon ya na jaantey hon is safe other than a desi north american larkee who is in front of you, in the same place and you can do a lot more background check and everything based on generalisation and pure assumption key larkee key khayalaat mileingey nahi without even giving her a chance. Amazing.
Am I the only one who has met such wonderful people from back home? My overall impression is quite positive.
Me too. So far i have seen girls that came straight from Pak( not from pind mind u) they get settled here very quickly, learn western life-style fast plus most of them r gr8 cooks n housekeepers( even though they grew up with servants they r good @ it). i don't think girls from Pak r home breakers. they hav grown-up in joint families and r much more tolerant n used to all the family dramas. they know how to mix up socially and make their own space. they sure r more flexible as i feel it. i always feel i lack these attributes growing up out of pak and so does most of other girls around me....as for chalak its better to be chalaak. straigth forwardness and honesty brings us more tears in our desi culture. this i found out only after marriage.
As for guys, most want that homely type. even if they don't say it they crave it. they really don't care abt career women but someone who spoils them, who does all of their work n leave them only for earning money. the other day my hubby and his friend were talking abt Asian ladies and both were showing gr8 interest in chineses n philipino ladies k wo khidmat guzar aur pati-verta hoti hain etc etc. So if some go back and marry there its not surprising.
So in other words this is based on assumption as well, so in that case aren`t you playing a blind as to importing someone, i mean if you were to bring a "pious" a non-north american larkee with "non-goray" khayalaat , you are saying they are a better bet, hmmmmm. The reason i ask you this is because sometimes ppls generalisation kindda bothers me key pakistan kee mazhabi aur hamaarey rasm-o-rivaajon ko jaanney waali larkee jis ko aap jaantay hon ya na jaantey hon is safe other than a desi north american larkee who is in front of you, in the same place and you can do a lot more background check and everything based on generalisation and pure assumption key larkee key khayalaat mileingey nahi without even giving her a chance. Amazing.
There is some generalization....no doubt. But as far as background checks go for example, back home the main checks ppl run are on each others families...ie...are they legit, well known and well respected etc...when it comes to the girl...the less info flying around about the girl in social circle, the better it is....in North America...parents rarely know what their daughters are upto once they are off a certain age and 'working or studying' on their 'own'.
For that matter things back home have changed too...meaning girls back home have also adopted a lot of things from the west...however again, ppl seem to be more comfortable dealing with girls and families back home....maybe its also because they also believe girls from back home would be willing to try harder or compromise a little more to make things work.
Me too. So far i have seen girls that came straight from Pak( not from pind mind u) they get settled here very quickly, learn western life-style fast plus most of them r gr8 cooks n housekeepers( even though they grew up with servants they r good @ it). i don't think girls from Pak r home breakers. they hav grown-up in joint families and r much more tolerant n used to all the family dramas. they know how to mix up socially and make their own space. they sure r more flexible as i feel it. i always feel i lack these attributes growing up out of pak and so does most of other girls around me....as for chalak its better to be chalaak. straigth forwardness and honesty brings us more tears in our desi culture. this i found out only after marriage.
As for guys, most want that homely type. even if they don't say it they crave it. they really don't care abt career women but someone who spoils them, who does all of their work n leave them only for earning money. the other day my hubby and his friend were talking abt Asian ladies and both were showing gr8 interest in chineses n philipino ladies k wo khidmat guzar aur pati-verta hoti hain etc etc. So if some go back and marry there its not surprising.
Why do we raise boys such that they grow up wanting maids for partners? As oppose to actually intellectually stimulating women?
And who says career women don't work with their husbands well to run a sound household?
God forbid the gadha gets off his arse to do a little work around the house. Is this how we've raised our male kids? To not be responsible at all for any mess they create?
Re: Why Boys Marry From Backhome
i don't think we raise them like that. desi men seem to born with this gene. for my own boys i involve them a lot around the house but i see it in them too "ager baithay mil jaaiy tu aur kia chahiay" and when i talk abt my husband Alhumdullilah he helps me a looot around the house. but no body in our circle of friends do it. they even say to him" yaar humain kyoon merwatay ho?" maan ki khidmat mard ka fard hai bivi ki taboo hai.
Me too. So far i have seen girls that came straight from Pak( not from pind mind u) they get settled here very quickly, learn western life-style fast plus most of them r gr8 cooks n housekeepers( even though they grew up with servants they r good @ it). i don't think girls from Pak r home breakers. they hav grown-up in joint families and r much more tolerant n used to all the family dramas. they know how to mix up socially and make their own space. they sure r more flexible as i feel it. i always feel i lack these attributes growing up out of pak and so does most of other girls around me....as for chalak its better to be chalaak. straigth forwardness and honesty brings us more tears in our desi culture. this i found out only after marriage.
As for guys, most want that homely type. even if they don't say it they crave it. they really don't care abt career women but someone who spoils them, who does all of their work n leave them only for earning money. the other day my hubby and his friend were talking abt Asian ladies and both were showing gr8 interest in chineses n philipino ladies k wo khidmat guzar aur pati-verta hoti hain etc etc. So if some go back and marry there its not surprising.
I really do agree with everything you've said in this post...
Bearing in mind there are different people everywhere the general mindset is that back home paki girls can look after a home better then a western girl, being brought up in the west means that you have had the influence of gora people, even tho it may be slight, girls who mix and get an education and career here will always have and element of women's rights and 'we are equals' and i think let's be honest men are scared of western women and that we keep them in line because were less likely to be the jee hazoor type, were less tolerant of their mistakes and generally I think we intimidate guys
I also believe we put too much emphasis on looks, the guy must look like brad pitt (even tho he's not my type) he must have an amazing dress sense and an amazing 6 pack... when the poor guy might be slightly shorter then average (and thats not uncommon in paki guys) a little tubby around the waist and likes to walk around in his soiled primark undies at home.. I hear girls from here saying no to perfectly good rishta's coz the guys not tall enough (and the girl is like 5ft 2 and the guys 5ft 8) the guy might be living too far away so she cant visit her mums every flaming day, the guy's nose is slightly crooked and bent towards the right, oh look he has a mole on his face, his dress sense is rubbish and as a result there was no 'click', he's a little on the fat side... and the list is endless
Now dont get me wrong, i totally wudnt marry a guy i didnt fancy and i wudnt expect anyone else too but that is what i mean when i say that guys are intimidated by us western girls, they probably crap their pants 5 times over when there visiting a house for a potential rishta.. coz lets face it our paki guys dont usually ooze confidence, and they dont swan in and impress your mother, father, 5 sisters, uncles, aunties, cousins and 50 best mates...
and let me just point out im not over reacting or making up crap, ive lived and grown up amongst lots of girls and alot, tho not all, have a long list and a man needs to come in and tick each and everyone of those boxes.
but.. YOU GUYS need to realise one thing, our tick boxes are just a way of protecting ourselves, our parents are more open to us talking to guys in the west coz we dont really have a choice its not liek we can sharmaa when some man is shaking your hand for an interview, you need to understand that women over here do have a long list of boxes that need to be ticked but our hearts are in the right place anddd those tick boxes are left aside to rot once we find a guy who actually loves us and wants us with pure intentions.
and you know what.. i feel paki's are generally chalaak, whether they be from pak land or from UK/USA its just that back home ones are more clued up and i think its coz of the atmosphere they grow up in. you have to ne on the ball with pakis otherwise (sometimes not all the time) theyll rob u for ur underwear.. lets face it the world is not your friend and i guess they learn that from a young age
So girls with a western background... lets just stop for a moment, take a breather and stop jumping down to grab the throat of every paki guy coz an aggressive lay-deee is just going to push them further to the mousey women of pakistan.
You want a man... BE MORE TOLERANT
Re: Why Boys Marry From Backhome
u r right lady lama men r not judged so deeply in pak as long as a guy is educated and earns good(most imp) he'll find a good girl from Pak. looks,dress style, age n height doesn't count. the living overseas triumph card works best.
yes girls in West need to become a lil more chalak and learn some tricks to win over some of these hidden gems. don't b too open in everything.
i just remember the other thread where ppl asks for all educational certificates n health records, even though its a good practice will scare many paki men away( not coz they hav done something wrong but they get offended n its a total turn off for most) nobody asks anything in Pak
Personally I like both people from here and Pakistan. You have nice and nasty people everywhere. When my son grows up, I'm going to give him his own choice, if he wants to bring a bride from Pakistan, he may, if he wants a bride who was raised here, he may, in fact, if my son wants to marry a girl from a different culture, from a different race, he may.
Same goes for my daughter.
It doesn't really depend on where a person is born and/or raised, what really matters is the character of that person, how he or she really is.
Most guys only marry back home so they can find a fairly uneducated girl who is a little project they can mould into their own little minion, who will do and say whatever they want. Not ALL guys, but a lot of them.
I totally agree with this however I have seen so many cases where the actual project has back fired and the those uneducated girls have done more damage then then the guys or the aunties had bargained for.
From my experience from seeing families around me, the uneducated girls from back home are very chalaak and cunning, you will be very surprised at what they can make these men do. Its a shame you men cant see what your getting yourself into. Girls born and bred outside of pakistan are outspoken but with what you see is what you get nothing else, they have nothing to hide and thats what men in UK and USA cannot handle, i think it would be advisable if once in a while they saw the obvious then be blinded by the sweet innocent looking girls from pakistan because behind that innocent looks lies a very harsh and horrible face...... wake up guys you havent got a good deal, you have actually got a bad deal........beharay!!!!!lol
[quote="Mijjy"]
Girls born and bred outside of pakistan are outspoken but with what you see is what you get nothing else, they have nothing to hide and thats what men in UK and USA cannot handle, i QUOTE]
A lot of these girls are not just outspoken but also have questionable social lives which tend to put most guys of. Pakistanis are still quite conservative and a lot of desi chicks from here have too much baggage for guys to deal with.
One of the reasons I decided to let my parents choose my bride from back home was becuz I've seen fist hand the desi community around here and what the supposed sweet-innocent desi girls from here are usually upto.
Some girls from back home may also be dou number but the chances of finding that kind of girl here are more likely than in Pakistan.
Another thing, no one wants a mouse as a wife but you also dont wanna end up with a chalu cheez with a big mouth.
girls from over there are seedi saadi... ummm ok maybe some of them are, but alot of them are no better then the girls in america. in fact, both of our family friends went to "import" girls from pakistan, they were in for such a surprise, when the girls came in and started adapting to america by making demands to their husbands for cell phones, cars, etc. One girl now even has full control of her husband which his mother hates. She always says "pakistan say bahu lie yun, and its the worst decision of my life."
The parents go back thinking they can get a seedi saadi girl one who will be a chappal the rest of her life to her husband and will obey him without talking back.
I have cousins and brothers who have married back home - this is one of the top reasons, so they dont have to put up with the 'attitude' girls living abroad have. By attitude they mean a backbone. I've sat with aunties who have discussed this very topic, girls from back home are preffered cause they are 'seedi saadi' and 'mooh por kay javab nahin dehti'.
Hareem - another reason that's top of the list, they're willing to take responsibility as most of them don't plan to work when they get here. Again, not all of them but a big majority.