Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Lifestyle Relationships
61

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Never whooped his butt? I really ask in all seriousness, and perhaps it ought to go unanswered but did you or your moms sibling's every try to do anything about it? Like unless he physically had you guys tied to chairs I don't see how one couldn't anyone couldn't have called the cops, had him arrested, have the family live in a uncle/aunt's house and try to get your life back together. But I am aware that would be scary and difficult so people don't do it. I don't have anything to say to the point of beghairity, barbarianism is human condition.

62

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Its not funny. Abuse is never every funny and no one in this thread is laughing.

Kudos to you for leaving an abusive relationship.

I don't like to say such things but I will take a risk and put it out there because...well...why not?

Women who leave abusive relationships are strong, tough and should be applauded. But I don't understand why they don't give back? Why do women not feel its their obligation to give back to their community? I don't meet many people who fee a sense of duty or responsibility towards others...and that bothers me. Its awesome you left and took a stand...now go and help someone else do the same. Its not over...until its really over...for everyone.

This ^

IMO women are their own worst enemies. We raise these men, make them who they are. We give in to their fathers' demands, allow them to bully us in front of our sons and set examples of what a woman is really worth. If a woman wants, she can run the show...but she still feels she is dependent. How is a woman who can carry life inside her weak? How?

A man may be the head of the family...but the woman is the neck and she can turn that head any way she wants. (Taken from My Big Fat Greek Wedding)

Stop putting the blame on men...take responsibility. Nothing changes by dumping on others...you have to change yourselves first.

Also, Pakistani men that come from good families cannot be beat. My father. My husband. My brother in laws. Many many many Pakistani men I know...excellent excellent excellent men. But these guys had amazing role models in the form of women in their lives.

I know a guy...his mother was a single mother of 8 kids...in Pakistan. I don't even know how she did it but she raised them into educated, well rounded human beings. They are respectful, good, caring and strong people...who worship this woman. My own mother...such an amazing, tough as nails little lady who raised four girls while my dad fell sick at a young age. She got all of us through school, educated, married, etc.

There isn't anything a woman cannot do if she wants. So no, I refuse to believe that a man is the only one to blame.

63

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

On the spot. And it's not just Hindu culture contributing to this. It's a biased view of Islam too where people think the rightful place of a woman is to be "obedient" to her husband.

64

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

First the title is disrespectful to Pakistani men as a whole. And I reject it.

There were two to three posts blaming Hindu culture, suhagan, Hindu custom of burning wives. I reject the ideas in those posts too.

Your post says "not just Hindu culture" - inferring Hindu culture is partially responsible. Then you went on to refer to "biased view of Islam" being also responsible. Not Islam. But biased view of Islam.

Islam is a great religion. So is Hinduism.

I respectfully submit that such references to Hindu culture are the norm. It is not done with a deliberate intent to be disrespectful. But it is. I chose you to make this point because I know none other who is more unbiased.

65

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

I don't think its a biased view of Islam at all...not when Islam also instructs the husband to be good to his wife. There are always two parts to any such mandates I've seen or heard in Islam...it truly is a complete religion Alhumdulillah.

66

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

I empathize with your heart, but I disagree with your choice. You know when guys say things like ‘black men shouldn’t be dating white women’ I used to disagree staunchly thinking you shouldn’t fall in love based on race. But then in the real world all these white men (just like you accuse ‘Muslim men’ a term so wide and more diverse than Pakistanis-ie Arabs you probably never considered) would date an ethnic chick, fetishize them, Facebook but never hire an ethnic ‘patel’ or ‘muhammad’ for a job. Way to submit to the white male dominated privileges racist society.

67

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

ok so i was wrong to generalize muslims but it's okay to generalize white men??

68

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Well that’s kind of my point right? You did the same with Muslim men. I also feel like it is much more true with white men…there are huge markers for racial, educational disparity and favoritism for white men in this society. All this jazz you hear in the media these days against multiculturalism, why don’t we hear it in Dubai, Kuwait, Qatar, Kinshasa, Singapore? Clearly race play HUGE factors in the Western world. Also speaking of generalizing…since when are ‘white’ and Muslim mutually exclusive terms? There are HUGE bosnian expat populations in the NL and Scandinavia, here in the US, many Arabs too identify as ‘white.’

Yet Muslim Americans have some of the best marriages and lack of disparity (women slightly more educated, strong educational and income parity), the most diverse congregations in the US. There’s a lot of things to be proud of, and to struggle for within our own community, part of bettering that community is the process of addressing its problems, and I don’t think ANY sex marrying outside of it (three of four madhabs in Islam forbid this is non-Muslim majority countries) addresses these problems- regardless of what these tribal sexist Arabized Pakistani and Arab mullahs say. I also find it troublesome that Pakistanis marry into their own caste, counsins, arabs into their own dialects and village and ****t and them use that small experience to speak of ‘Muslim men’ or ‘Muslim women’, a term as diluted a ‘Christian women’ ‘Christian men’, when they really didn’t consider anyone outside their ethnic background in the first place, got frustrated and juts gave up. Here’s a report with statistics…not just pulling this ****t out of the air.

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:TPmQ1dJhqesJ:www.abudhabigallupcenter.com/File/144332/AmericanMuslimReport.pdf+muslim+americans+educational+parity&hl=en&gl=us&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESgUFMLaMBjIltBRcszqtBeB2Z7qEgatvraZma5cOA6sPdOtVJkEVqjFqtkjNgEZim8iGY7LCkOPxMOw3LP3KvDlMg80aHXO4O9H654f3Yk5PfBbQCrNFBNYa_6V91S4DKICxnRR&sig=AHIEtbRSjzDc7p8e_duWZKICCT_MSQg07w&pli=1

Again I had a sister go through divorce in an abusive relationship. I really empathize with you sister, and hopefully you at least raise your kids Muslims and hopefully have a Muslim spouse one day.

69

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

I was wrong when i generalized muslim men and i mentioned that in one of my previous posts. there is alot of jazz about alot of things in the media so , does not mean we should put all the blame on one race. not all whites are against multiculturalism for god sakes, there is a black president in a white majority country! im not saying there is no intolerance here, but its not just one sided as you claim.

[quote]
Yet Muslim Americans have some of the best marriages and lack of disparity (women slightly more educated, strong educational and income parity), the most diverse congregations in the US. There's a lot of things to be proud of, and to struggle for within our own community, part of bettering that community is the process of addressing its problems, and I don't think ANY sex marrying outside of it (three of four madhabs in Islam forbid this is non-Muslim majority countries) addresses these problems. I also find it troublesome that Pakistanis marry into their own caste, counsins, arabs into their own dialects and village and *t and them use that small experience to speak of 'Muslim men' or 'Muslim women' when they really didn't consider anyone outside their ethnic background in the first place, got frustrated and juts gave up. Here's a report with statistics...not just pulling this *t out of the air.

Again I had a sister go through divorce in an abusive relationship. I really empathize with you sister, and hopefully you at least raise your kids Muslims and hopefully have a Muslim spouse one day.
[/QUOTE]

it's not that i would not have considered an arab for marriage, i just fell in love with someone that i coudnt be without. my husband has no problem if our kids are muslims, i have even picked out muslim names for them.

70

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

why am i smelling hotties/eliminators etc. in this thread.

and as of the mention of hindu culture, Southie , just as it goes in your own words, 'Context matters'. ab banda kya karay?

and pcgs views on islam and islamic views are usually taken with a grain of salt.

71

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Also whites are not the majority in this country. They are the largest minority, but not the majority.. Again not being rude, but please my fellow Pakistanis learn to back up your claims about 'Muslim' men 'Pakistanis' like I did in the initial thread, with a citation, and a statistic, not made up facts and anecdotes.

72

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Currently, whites are the majority in US, they will no longer be a majority by 2050.
Census: White Population Will Lose Majority In U.S. By 2043
either way, plenty of white folks voted for Obama. regardless of whether they are the majority or not, how can you generalize all of them?? it was wrong for me to generalize Muslims but it is okay for you to generalize whites? sounds very hypocritical

73

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

You are right on the population, my bad about that, should have checked beforehand, Cali is not white anymore, and whites have the lowest birth rates, but it will not show up demogrphically until 2043.

Also some generalization, are general because they are true *generally *or the majority of the time.. Go read about security clearance decisions and the disproportionately large amount of Muslim Americans ejected from government service, the majority of bureacracies with easy money and steady employment (Police, Fire, EMT, federal state local governemnt) being overwhelmingly whites http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2012/tables/12s0501.pdf , experiements with an ethnic name on a resume, the blue-brown eye experiment. On a social scale, with white people as a majority, there is more racism here than in other multicultural societies. I’m not saying EVERY white person is that way, but they are socially conditioned, and accept white privelege passively. What do you think about African Americans complaining about reparations for? The entire argument is that white people and their kids benefited from roads built, economies, industries, breweries built by blacks, and they should be reparated for it. Asian Americans are more economically and educationally well off than whites (50% of the doctors in this country), yet how many Asian American do you see in Congress, the HoR, the White House?

Please educate yourself a little on race relations in this country…end of story we are tangenting off of our own communities now. #whiteproverbs wasn’t trending #1 last month for no reason if you think racism doesn’t exists in white communities. Maybe like many Pakistanis who are lied to and taught they aren’t Indian you have your own demons/racial insecurities to deal with first (which is fine, I dealt with mine as well).

74

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

OP should have written my father is a bagarat instead of generalizing the whole community. Plus I hope you have confronted your farther to stop any future abuse.

Btw it's a good chance for men to realize that there is nothing worse than being a bad husband and a father. If you are abusive then seek help.

75

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

This one is for zetsui

Beat your woman every morning, if you don’t know why she does - Our pakjabi national anthem. Deal with it woman :smokin:

76

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Wont derail the thread. So I leave with some comments and a question.

When I stated context matters, it was to respond to your comment abt a person who according to you disrespected Hinduism. I pointed out that the said persons post was in response to another post that stated " In Hinduism it is considered MORAL to treat untouchable like trash". Since you brought that up, add that as one more instance where disrespectful comments re Hinduism are posted.

What is the context that allows folks to associate negative behavior as coming from " Hindu culture"?

Yes. Context matters.

77

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

You're smelling him/her all over the place, aren't you..

Is anyone new who posts something you don't like or agree with the new hottie?

78

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Shutup and stop derailing the thread "hinduism" It's almost like you Pakjabis and mohajirs are obssessed with HInduism, no one mentioned Hinduis, Indians, until you brought it up, when in fact Jatt, Arain, Rathore etc are all Hindu caste names, these aren't Afghan or Arab castes. Stop derailing the thread with your insecurities and deflecting your insecurities off of Hindus from which your grandparents came.

79

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Ok this is for record only,

Shawn, Eliminator, Hottie24, zetsui and bella88.

80

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

Wrong. The only difference between the social classes (regardless of which country they belong to) is the degree of subtleness with which they abuse.