Of course I'm talking from my own experience, learn to read! I used the word many not all, so honey you probably aren't included so take your 'us' rhetoric somewhere else. But if you want bigger picture, go check out the education and employment stats for British Asian (Bangladeshi and Pakistani in particular) women. The Asian community of Britain on the whole is heavily dependent on benefits, anyone who denies that is either suffering from pigeon syndrome or is genuinely a very ignorant person.
^ Could you provide statistics?
Disney, the official gov stats have been posted on this forum before, if you do a search it should come up..
I’m not obessesed, if you ask me I could do without a smelly boy, who moans, starts fights, is un-necessarily complicated, but my mum and dad are looming down on me, so I have to find one.
And why the desire for kids? The reason I ask is frankly this forum is a whose who of people who don't deserve to be married or those who can't manage a proper relationship. 1 out of 3 threads is a perfect example of a dysfunctional family where both spouses are too dumb to make a marriage work.
Marriage is like a lottery, sometimes you hit jackpot, sometimes you don't
Its Kismet/Fate - you could end up happily married or you could end up being miserable due to circumstance, it has nothing to do with inteligence aka its not a exam - but I guess character such as patience and understanding.
Everything does boil down to money unfortunately... The day women become independent is the day this culture will die and I can't wait..
I earn money, yet I still reside with my parents, I even give money into the house, I buy my mother things, I buy things for the house, heck I am even saving for my orphaned cousins.
But - the point is I am still in my parents house waiting to be "married off" - because apparently its womens izaat blaaah blaaah - CULTURE PEOPLE.
IT has nothing to do with MONEY, STATUS OR THE FACT THAT MY BEEMA IS BIGGER THAN YOURS. (BMW...)
I earn money, yet I still reside with my parents, I even give money into the house, I buy my mother things, I buy things for the house, heck I am even saving for my orphaned cousins.
But - the point is I am still in my parents house waiting to be "married off" - because apparently its womens izaat blaaah blaaah - CULTURE PEOPLE.
IT has nothing to do with MONEY, STATUS OR THE FACT THAT MY BEEMA IS BIGGER THAN YOURS. (BMW...)
...because people were going to confuse "Beema" with what else?
I earn money, yet I still reside with my parents, I even give money into the house, I buy my mother things, I buy things for the house, heck I am even saving for my orphaned cousins.
If you have money to buy your own house then you are a shining example of Asian women too meek (cowardly would be a better word) to do anything without a whole battalion of male relatives egging them on.
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But - the point is I am still in my parents house waiting to be "married off" - because apparently its womens izaat blaaah blaaah - CULTURE PEOPLE.
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If you have money to buy your own house then you are a shining example of Asian women too meek (cowardly would be a better word) to do anything without a whole battalion of male relatives egging them on.
So why do women follow this culture?
Its all they know. This is what they were born into.
One more reason why I am still living at home even though I could live on my own and be independent of them:
Most women in this day and age are more than capable of being on their own and self sufficient. The reason why we deliberately become dependent is because our parents want it. They want their daughter to be an innocent girl that goes from her parents' home to her husband's.
I have and was ready to stand alone even after my divorce. My parents asked me to come home. It hurts them to see their daughters living separately when they can be "maan baap ke saye mein" as they put it. When you see that, you feel selfish and do what they say. Its as simple as that. At least it was for me.
Will I be the same way? No. Because I get it. I know why my children will want the same things I did and their feelings will make sense to me. Inshallah. My parents understood a different world and from that standpoint they did an amazing job.
The reason why we deliberately become dependent is because our parents want it. They want their daughter to be an innocent girl that goes from her parents' home to her husband's.
Hmmm..... Sorry, but I think your argument is missing something; it doesn't really feel complete. I don't see many boys giving up their hopes and dreams for their parents. There are many who want to live at home, sure, but few who are forced to live there by their parents.
But I can't say really. To give up on something I want just to please my mother is an alien concept for me, but I don't know, it may make sense to others. Just that its my belief that everyone, be they rich or poor, should live this life to their maximum potential.
Throughout my childhood, I thought it was easy to blackmail mom and dad, you just pull a few strings and they give in. Then I grow up and see that all around me, its the parents doing the blackmailing. And in a very malicious way, mind you.
Hmmm..... Sorry, but I think your argument is missing something; it doesn't really feel complete. I don't see many boys giving up their hopes and dreams for their parents. There are many who want to live at home, sure, but few who are forced to live there by their parents.
But I can't say really. To give up on something I want just to please my mother is an alien concept for me, but I don't know, it may make sense to others. Just that its my belief that everyone, be they rich or poor, should live this life to their maximum potential.
Throughout my childhood, I thought it was easy to blackmail mom and dad, you just pull a few strings and they give in. Then I grow up and see that all around me, its the parents doing the blackmailing. And in a very malicious way, mind you.
When you're younger, its different. I have done the same as you.
But when you're older and so are they...you do things to make them happy because they need/deserve it.
I don't know about other people but in my case I thought to myself that if I stay home and just be there - which is all they want from me - what harm is it? Living your life to the fullest doesn't always mean doing everything to fulfill your desires...sometimes it also means fulfilling your desires by fulfilling someone else's.
I may not have my own place but I have my parents' home that is safe, comfortable and dependable. I may not come and go at all odd hours of the day and night but I do have my mom who would be the first to notice if anything happened to me. I may not have things exactly my way but what I do have is not something easily replaceable. Which ends up making it worthwhile.
When you're younger, its different. I have done the same as you.
But when you're older and so are they...you do things to make them happy because they need/deserve it.
I don't know about other people but in my case I thought to myself that if I stay home and just be there - which is all they want from me - what harm is it? Living your life to the fullest doesn't always mean doing everything to fulfill your desires...sometimes it also means fulfilling your desires by fulfilling someone else's.
I may not have my own place but I have my parents' home that is safe, comfortable and dependable. I may not come and go at all odd hours of the day and night but I do have my mom who would be the first to notice if anything happened to me. I may not have things exactly my way but what I do have is not something easily replaceable. Which ends up making it worthwhile.
I kinda see where you are coming from :)
At the same time, methinks I'm a pretty selfish person...
I earn money, yet I still reside with my parents, I even give money into the house, I buy my mother things, I buy things for the house, heck I am even saving for my orphaned cousins.
But - the point is I am still in my parents house waiting to be "married off" - because apparently its womens izaat blaaah blaaah - CULTURE PEOPLE.
IT has nothing to do with MONEY, STATUS OR THE FACT THAT MY BEEMA IS BIGGER THAN YOURS. (BMW...)
I wasnt' talking about Pakistanis living outside of Pakistan. I was talking about average women in Pakistan. Say they all start standing up for their rights, start earning enough to support themselves and all. Sooner or later this culture is going to die.
