Re: Who's the Bride???
Well after reading sum of these posts abt new brides wearing the same outfit on the shaadi day as the "real bride" all i can say is that its plain sick! Im sorry but it is. How can any1 justify turing up with a dupatta on their head, same shaadi clothes, decked out by the same beautician and think its ok to do that? Some ppl r disgusting and have no respect whatsoeva for the bride getting married. In my opinion they deserve and need a slap!
Re: Who's the Bride???
.....and why would anyone would want to wear the bridal dupata on head with accessories, if decide on wearing your bridal langha to someone else wedding. Don't give me that hijab excuse, if it was for that purpose then get a plain silk dupata/scarf, dye it according to the dress color and wear that.
Some people are just wired....
Seriously !!!! My lengha adn duputta were so damn heavy and uncomfortable that the makeup artist needed lots of fake hair to hold up the duputta. There is NO WAY that i will ever wear it on my head again. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Re: Who's the Bride???
wearing the dupatta on the head is uncomfortable anyway. So why would anybody want to wear it on the head again ever? You probably get a huge headache just wearing it.
I personally never wore a dupatta on my head for my wedding but I don't see anything wrong with wearing your wedding dress for someone else's wedding. It's not like your trying to look like a bride again with the whole full jewellry, makup, hairstyle and all the wedding accessories you wore during your own wedding so there's no way that you would be outshining the bride.
Re: Who’s the Bride???
This is precisely what hapenned to me.
My best friend asked me to wear my wedding lehnga at her wedding. And she asked my husband to wear a sherwani too.
We were also the MC’s at her wedding so we were constantly in the public eye.
I did have my hair done…from the same place that she got her’s done and we both did our own make-up. Both of us had a blast for both the wedding and the valima. I wore lehngas on both days and so did she.
Nobody told me that I was competing with the bride…(maybe cuz I was four/five months preggers and you could see a small belly forming) and nobody objected. Most people were more concerned that I was wearing such heavy clothing with four inch heels and how tired I would be with the baby and all…
Re: Who's the Bride???
I think wearing your bridal clothes to another person's wedding is a form of flattery -- you're willing to dress up for the special occasion. I say go all out with jewellery and makeup if you are a close relative or close friend. No dupattas on the head tho. That should be strictly reserved for the bride of the day.
Re: Who's the Bride???
That being said, i dont think i would mind anyone showing up as a decked up dulhan at my wedding. I could care less. In the end, it would make them look retarded, not me.
hahaha....you're soo right!!! it really looks retarded...ismai compete karne ki baat hi nahi hai. The chance of looking good in a nikah dress the second time is almost none. I'd probably never wear my bridal dresses again not because I don't want to compete with the real bride but because I know they won't look half as good on me as they did at my wedding. If someone is so close to me I'll rather make a new dress according to current style/fashion n something that's comfortable!
Re: Who’s the Bride???
its more about my comfort level… i can never imagine myself walking freely in someone’s wedding wearing my bridal dress … its pretty heavy 
i dont like dulhans dictating others … everyone have their own preferences..
i am invited to wedding where bride-to-be recently said that she dont want anyone else to wear the same color .. guess what, all the aunties of the family had in their minds the same color from long time and they already have their expensive dressess made from overseas.. now who is gonna honor her ‘dictation’?:halo: .. she will just make a fool of herself if she gets pissed off on her wedding day
Re: Who's the Bride???
thats harsh! i'd be pissed if i made a request to my family and they went ahead and ignored it. seriously- that is so rude. its her day, for cryin out loud! for one day, as a guest, you can't be bothered to find something else to wear? no ones asking you to spend 1000's on a new outfit- there are plenty of options available out there and its very easy to pick another choice. its so selfish to take away someone's pleasure in their wedding day, and obviously in this case, it matters to the bride how her people look, and it will cause her stress when they all show up in the same color she's wearing. honestly, i find pakistani people are just too focused on making a shaadi all about themselves and ignoring the bride and groom's wishes. i agree, it is a day for you AND your family, but mostly, its YOUR day. and your family should do all they can to not stress you out and cooperate with your wishes. and after all, asking someone not to wear a colour is NOT a big deal.
as for people honouring you by dressing up- well listen, if you're going to a wedding, and you have any manners at all, you dress up. that much is obvious. no one shows up in cotton or jeans. you don't have to go as far as wearing your own wedding clothes to honour someone. because, really, i don't plan on wearing my shaadi ka lehenga on my brothers wedding so it means i'm dishonouring them and aren't really dressed up? that logic doesn't work for me. i will totally dress up for my brother's wedding but that doesn't mean i'll show up in my own bridal gown, and if i do, i'll run it by my sis in law to-be first. its polite and it only takes two seconds.
and as someone planning her own wedding from scratch, for the past year, with every single detail worked out and tons of time and effort put into making a fun event for everyone, i can say that it will mean a lot!! i know some of you girls have been there too- i don't know how involved you were in your planning, but i've been handling every little detail on my own and the whole day means so much to me, that i really feel like asking MY PEOPLE, not everyone there, but just my people, to not dress in green- its a small thing for them and it will really mean a lot to me. and i'm doing it cos my bridesmaids are wearing green saris and i really want my family to wear some other color so they stand out from the girls and look good, instead of blending in. and also his mother has apparently bought a champagne dress already eyeroll and so across the board i've told people no champagne, no green. d'oh. mil's are a whole another thread, i tell ya! :P
Re: Who's the Bride???
nope.. not harsh and rude... its all about being considerate. if someone is so fussy about the dress and the colors, then she should be letting people well ahead about the options instead of making it a last minute deal. too bad, in 'our' case, she did made it a last min. deal... now if she expects others to leave their pretty custom-made dresses behind and buy the new ones... aa aanin.. it's not gonna happen (keeping in mind everyone's budget as well)
don't forget, its Not only You (being the bride) who is getting ready for the wedding... its the others too (family and friends), who wants to show up at their best on the wedding too
Re: Who’s the Bride???
If someone else’s attire is taking away from the pleasure of a day, then there are some other serious issues at play. As far as I know…most brides are so excited about the simple fact of joining their lives with another person…one that they love and cherish, that nothing else matters in the end.
No it’s not a big deal at all. But then again…nothing is a big deal if you truly look at things in perspective.
You are in for some harsh surprises in life… 
That logic doesn’t work for anyone…because nobody said that.
People merely said that if you decide to wear your wedding lehnga, the dress that you wore on that oh-so-most-important-day-of-your-life, then you are honoring the hosts. If you decide not to wear it, you are not dihonoring them.
Now don’t be offended, but this last comment from you made me think of an episode of Rich Bride, Poor Bride that I saw on this past weekend. It featured a Hindu couple name Jana and Calvin and showed how Jana was so fixated on having things exactly a certain way for her wedding. It was frightening. Right down to the tiniest detail everything was choreographed. The exotic car that her husband was to pull up in, the Hummer limo that they were going to get to the helicopter pad in, the colour of her bride’s maid’s saris, the fireworks for her first dance, etc. etc. In the end their budget of $45K was blown away and the total bill ended up being $75,409.00. The guy responsible for their banquet hall stormed out on the day of the event because the bride’s event planner was over-zealous and intrusive and the bride was constantly snapping at everyone if they veered even slightly from plan. For a minute I was sure that I was watching Bridezillas!
Re: Who's the Bride???
Live a litte - buy another outfit for your own sake. I was married 6 years ago - that outfit is so out!
Re: Who’s the Bride???
CA, wont you wear your lehanga to my wedding? 
I sure wouldnt mind at all!
Re: Who's the Bride???
Btw, i thought i would mention this. For my nikah, which was at home with close family and friends, i was being a total bridezilla. I was extremely controlling and wanted everything to be done a certain exact way. It just made me extremely stressed out and i felt like i wasnt gonna be able to enjoy the actual event. Alhamdulillah things were perfect nonetheless.
For my rukhsati, i have decided to sit back and enjoy this time period. My siblings are actively doing everything to plan the reception. They know what i want and they are taking care of it for me, Alhamdulillah. With no complaints from them, they are actually enjoying the chance of being a part of this important event in my life. All i am worrying about is my dress, makeup, hair etc. Because in the end, little details wont matter. What you would remember is not the centerpieces on the guest's table but how happy and excited you were. Thats all that really matters in the end.
I am quite liking this responsible-for-nothing bride type :D I just want to sit back and wait for the moment to join my man!!!
Re: Who's the Bride???
nope.. not harsh and rude... its all about being considerate. if someone is so fussy about the dress and the colors, then she should be letting people well ahead about the options instead of making it a last minute deal.
i agree- doing it last minute and expecting follow thru is silly.
Re: Who's the Bride???
Now don't be offended, but this last comment from you made me think of an episode of Rich Bride, Poor Bride that I saw on this past weekend. It featured a Hindu couple name Jana and Calvin and showed how Jana was so fixated on having things exactly a certain way for her wedding. It was frightening. Right down to the tiniest detail everything was choreographed. The exotic car that her husband was to pull up in, the Hummer limo that they were going to get to the helicopter pad in, the colour of her bride's maid's saris, the fireworks for her first dance, etc. etc. In the end their budget of $45K was blown away and the total bill ended up being $75,409.00. The guy responsible for their banquet hall stormed out on the day of the event because the bride's event planner was over-zealous and intrusive and the bride was constantly snapping at everyone if they veered even slightly from plan. For a minute I was sure that I was watching Bridezillas!
i saw that episode too and it was quite funny! the big difference between me and her is that i'm only requesting people not show up in two colors- champagne and green -- i'm not after ugly, peacock-feathered 3 feet high centrepieces, i'm not making anybody cry, and i'm actually a really nice person! :P
i'm also not imposing that rule on random strangers, but just immediate family and friends that i love and that i know have no issues with giving in to my request considering the occasion.
as for the harsh surprises that await me, no offense, i don't know who you hang around with, but my friends and family are nice people and they know how to present themselves nicely on any given occasion :P i have never been to any occasion, gora or non-gora where someone was SO completely under-dressed so as to show up in jeans and a t-shirt, unless the dress code specified as much. thank God i'm not having a ton of people at my wedding, half of whom i don't even know, nor do i care about! yay for smaller, intimate weddings! :)
Re: Who's the Bride???
as for the harsh surprises that await me, no offense, i don't know who you hang around with, but my friends and family are nice people and they know how to present themselves nicely on any given occasion :P i have never been to any occasion, gora or non-gora where someone was SO completely under-dressed so as to show up in jeans and a t-shirt, unless the dress code specified as much. thank God i'm not having a ton of people at my wedding, half of whom i don't even know, nor do i care about! yay for smaller, intimate weddings! :)
No offense taken...simply because your choice to attack the folks that I hang around with shows how green you are. Koi baat nahin bachay....hota hai, hota hai.
Instead of taking this approach, you might have considered that I probably have about two decades of party-going experience more than you.....specifically in weddings and formals....including numerous fund-raising events for politicians and community groups.
Trust me.....people will show up in completely inappropriate attire....including cotton suits and jeans....no matter how specific you are.
Since you are making your request of no green and no champagne of your closest friends and relatives, you should face no difficulties....especially since these folks will likely be seated in close proximity to youself and the groom. So if someone in the outer-circle shows up in these colours they will not be in the lime-light causing confusion.
Furthermore, it is ultra easy to control an environment/group if it is small. So from the sounds of your "intimate" gathering, you should face no problems at all.
And as an aside...I wasn't comparing you to Jana from the show....just illustrating the potential pitfalls faced by those that try to control too much.
Re: Who's the Bride???
Live a litte - buy another outfit for your own sake. I was married 6 years ago - that outfit is so out!
Yaar...thanks to hubby the shopaholic....I have three lehngay and about 15 saris purchased over the last 18 months that I have yet to wear.
All are current styles and all are absolutely stunning!!! Alhamdulillah.
Koi kammi nahin hai.....magar paisay zaya hotay dekh kar dukh hota hai.
Ibrahim is so picky, if he could have his way I would not repeat the same outfit even at home......but he is also flattered when I mention how much I love my wedding outfit. It makes him so proud that he bought me something I soooooo love. He feels good and it costs me nothing.......in fact....I think that's why he keeps buying me more and more.....
Re: Who's the Bride???
No offense taken...simply because your choice to attack the folks that I hang around with shows how green you are. Koi baat nahin bachay....hota hai, hota hai.
Instead of taking this approach, you might have considered that I probably have about two decades of party-going experience more than you.....specifically in weddings and formals....including numerous fund-raising events for politicians and community groups.
Trust me.....people will show up in completely inappropriate attire....including cotton suits and jeans....no matter how specific you are.
Since you are making your request of no green and no champagne of your closest friends and relatives, you should face no difficulties....especially since these folks will likely be seated in close proximity to youself and the groom. So if someone in the outer-circle shows up in these colours they will not be in the lime-light causing confusion.
Furthermore, it is ultra easy to control an environment/group if it is small. So from the sounds of your "intimate" gathering, you should face no problems at all.
And as an aside...I wasn't comparing you to Jana from the show....just illustrating the potential pitfalls faced by those that try to control too much.
i didnt attack anyone, i was merely suggesting to you that some people do know enough to dress for the occasion and i consider the people around me to be such people. obviously you've had other experiences. as for the two decades of partying experience under your hat, lady i have no idea how old you are- you've never said! me, i'm 28. been to a lot of parties myself and have yet to see someone completely inappropriately turned out. meh. i guess it happens.
to stay on topic --my point is, i think its ok for a bride to let her family and friends know her preferences and for them to follow thru on her request. i see no harm in this clearly, nor do i see it as being ultra-controlling or bridezilla-ish. some of us care about the details, some of us don't- doesn't make anyone more or less special than the other.
as for me controlling the details, i'm planning as much as i can. more for my own level of comfort than anything else- i do know, however, that things will go wrong to an extent on my wedding day. its inevitable- no day is perfect. i'm sure my 5 year old cousins will stick their fingers in my wedding cake, and maybe i'll trip up on my first dance, but so what. you control what you can, and everything else you take in stride as it comes. i'm well-aware of this.
Re: Who’s the Bride???
See now isnt it a waste of money to not wear all those hawt new outfits muz baji?
Come on!! and the shaddi ka lehgna - if you’ve worn it three times then no need to consider it a waste - isnt that the rule for zakat? Wear something atleast three times and no zakat is due on it?
Come on hawt stuff - you dont want dhulans to be all jealous of you now do you!
and I like dhulai bhai - shopaholic huh? does he have a younger brother? Wait - I can’t do that anymore can I? 
Re: Who's the Bride???
no day is perfect. i'm sure my 5 year old cousins will stick their fingers in my wedding cake, and maybe i'll trip up on my first dance, but so what. you control what you can, and everything else you take in stride as it comes. i'm well-aware of this.
LOL...now that's the right attitude!
I didn't doubt for a minute that it was there....just a bit hidden by what you were saying.
But you know what....your day will be perfect, insha-Allah! Right now it seems like many things will go wrong....but trust me...in the end, when you look back...it will be perfect!