Who pays for what?

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Re: Who pays for what?

quick question...what abt the chothi???
who pays, what goes on (never been to one), and do the bride gets makeup done and everything too???

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Re: Who pays for what?

What's a chothi?

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Re: Who pays for what?

ooops. its Chauthi not chothi, but this is what i found out abt it on a website:
Chauthi is the custom of bringing the bride back to her parents' home the next day, or on the fourth day after the wedding (depending on family tradition). Usually bride's brothers perform the Chauthi and goes to fetch their sister home.

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Re: Who pays for what?

Oh yeah I know what that is, I didn't realise that's what it was called

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Re: Who pays for what?

in my family.

its the parents that pay.. not the couple in question.. and its absolutely not acceptable that a daughter be asked to chip in for her wedding.. its their final obligation as parents to wed their children off.. they know that from the time they have their first born .. even though both my brothers have jobs and earn good enuff, whenever we have talked bout marriage .. its always been understood that its my dad that will be paying for the guys side of things.. my brothers have tried their best to say hey.. we wanna chip in but my dad will not hear any of it.. its his kids, he is the father, and its his duty. but thats just my dad :)

as for who pays for what..

maiyon: girl's side (a guy doesnt sit mayon.. atleast not that i have ever heard of).. and its like a bridal shower so in laws are not allowed.. just the girls side.

mehndi: if its joined then ofcourse, both parties.. but otherwise, both sides pay for their own days of mehndi.. one day the guys side takes mehndi to the girls place (her folks pay).. the next day, the girls side takes mehndi to the boys side ( the boys side pays).

barat: wedding hall and all that jazz is paid for by the brides side.. but her jora and jewellary and all that habaloo comes from the guys side whilst the girls side takes care of the grooms clothing and crap. the wedding choaray are from the guy's side.

valima: the guy's side takes care of this and again, the girls side takes care of the boys clothes and accessories and vice versa.

nashtha: takes place the day after the valima, girls side.

chotha: dawat 4 days after the wedding.. girls side. sorta like a reception.

honeymoon: the guy himself. even if the girl is earning money.

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Re: Who pays for what?

I think chautha is muqlawa...

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hey guys i've a similar question..does the gal's family pay for guy's barat sherwani or guy's walima outfit? ??

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Re: Who pays for what?

khawateen, u mention that the guys family pays and chooses the girls' wedding dress (dont get me started on how retarted it is).i've noticed others saying similar, is it a karachi-walay thing (like, Punjabi vs everyone else?) b/c most of the ppl i know (in pak), the girl chooses/pays for her own stuff on the barat, and guys side brings the mehndi jora and chose the valima jora... i know more "liberal" and modern susral let the girl choose everythign and they just pay for what they're suposed to....

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Re: Who pays for what?

^ Yes, in Punjab it's different.

For our family it's exactly as khawateen described.

Carpool, if your family is Punjabi, most likely the groom's side gets the valima clothes and the bride's side gets the shadi clothes. If you're from elsewhere in Pakistan (like my family), then the guy's side gets the shadi and valima clothes for the girl, and the girl's side gets the shadi and valima clothes for the guy.

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^u mean the girls side gets the shaadi and valima clothes for the groom?

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^ yes. thanks :D

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in our family the girls pay for everything for the barat (her own clothes and the guys) and valima is paid by the guys(including his own clothes and the girls)

BRIDAL PICS.
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Re: Who pays for what?

for us, the bridal dresses for barat and valima are paid by the groom's side. the bride just chooses them. and then the bride's side pays for the groom's apparel for barat and valima. we're from karachi so i dont know if it's only a karachi ke log thing.

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Re: Who pays for what?

^ thats how we do it in our family too...n in my in laws too...they are in lahore, but will give me money for both outfits and maybe even go shopping with me for the outfits.
we will be paying for his outfit for barat n valima.

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no it isnt a karachi wala thing.. its urdu speaking ppl thing (delhi walay,basically ppl from UP) .. and as for the retardedness of it. girls get to CHOOSE their clothes.. its the inlaws paying for it... the significance of the bridal dress has great importance in UP culture cuz its termed as the suhaag ka jora and it makes total sense to me that the guys side get it for her.. she will be under his nikah on the day of barat and HIS wife.. so he is responsible for her and pays for things related to her. even the girls bury that is prepared has everything from undergarments to hair clips. .. everything she could possible need to start off her first few days at her in laws.. rather than letting the girl get all her things herself..

like sahar said.. what ure describing is a punjabi thing..

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Re: Who pays for what?

Ok this is madness! so much expense! I guess Weddings are the only entertainment in Pk. but seriously what do poor people do! Islamically btw 'Aqad" or nikah is at the girl's expense usually just a small contract signing at the girls house.... and Valima or reception guy pays for. Most of my muslm friends from Iran or the Arab world got 100% paid for weddings by the guy if he was wealthy enough or his family. Pakistanis realy waste a lot of time and money and a lot of the way the girl's family is burnded in poor families is so unislamic. Ironically i've never heard even the most religious people following Sunnah and doing it like the Arabs do, eventhough in all other things they want to follow the Arabs but when it comes to things that might benifit women...its lets keep our culture....

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Traditionally tho, girls do not get to choose their own clothes. The groom's side picks them for her. Of course these days, most brides give their input.

Timepass -September 2012
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yes, i find having anybody choose what you'll wear for a wedding quite "silly"...who pays for it is a different mater but i believe a girl should be able to choose what she wants. what you described is very sweet, and if it is the case, then that's nice...but i was referring to when the bride isnt' allowd any input or choice in what she gets to wear. and that's with both urdu-speaking walay and punjabi ppls...

And on the flip side, men are finding it harder and harder to marry women b/c every family wants a rich guy who will pay for the entire wedding....that's putting unfair burden on the men as well isn't it?

Yes, exactly.

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What rubbish!!

I'm Pathan and who pays for what is similar to what everyone else has said.

Mehndi is paid for the girls side as her mehndi is done at her "house"... historically Pathans haven't had the tradition of having a boys mehndi but nowadays the boy has his own (if the families are strict and want to keep it separate), in that case it would be paid for by the boys side or it's done with the bride, in that case I can only assume the cos is split.

The girls side pays for her wedding and the boys side pays for his walima.

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Re: Who pays for what?

i think each city, ppl, family does stuff (pays for stuff) a little differently...so just ask ur in-laws and have a talk with ur parents abt money beforehand so there is NO confusion
thats what i plan to do, i come from a urdu speaking family frm Karachi but marrying a guy from Lahore

Aao Mohabbat Samjhein