Who Initiates

[GlobalGal]

Re: Who Initiates

@badabing

I would get married to have babies and because my religion commands me to do so - if I could have babies and sex outside of marriage in a halal way, I would. Being honest. Marriage brings too many headaches.

As far as the way this guy reacted to his wife - again, it is his own insecurities that he is projecting. I have found women to be way more complex then men - yesterday I was lying, today I’m telling the truth. Women have different modes - mother mode, daughter mode, dutiful wife mode and most importantly woman mode: the need to be desired and fulfilled sexually as a woman. This is what many desi guys are afraid of due to their own inexperience (sexually) around women due to religion and culture. So if their wife initiates, they project, shaming her in effect, not to do it again, which she probably won’t, as she doesn’t want to have to go through that feeling of rejection again. Kind of sad really.

Me personally, I have a colorful past shall we say and as such my views on sex are different to the majority of desi guys. To me the only thing out of bounds would be anal, sex during menstruation and bringing a third party in to the marital bed. Other then that, I’d kind of expect sex at least 3 times a day with a lot of variety - otherwise I could see myself moving on to a second wife to fulfill my needs. Would she have the right to have her needs met, absolutely. It also has a lot to do with your drive. I have paki friends who are fine with sex twine a week with their wife. I also have Paki friends who get it multiple times a week from the wife yet they still have several mistresses on the side that they hook up with during lunchtimes or straight after work etc.

You’re human. I’ve seen the most apathetic guy break down when it comes to his child. You will develop feelings if not for your wife eventually, then feelings for your kids but those terrible things called feelings will eventually find you

You’re right though, emotions make us weak.

[Pisiform]

Re: Who Initiates

@badabing

Where have I generalized - I’ve made it quite clear that all men, like women are different, but in my experience around the majority of Brit Paki guys that I know, these observations hold true. You’ll always find the goody goody guy or the cold guy - but in my experience, black, white, hispanic, desi, oriental, my views hold merit the vast majority of times.

well, all I can say is you need to hangout with some good company

[badabing]

Re: Who Initiates

@Pisiform

well, all I can say is you need to hangout with some good company

The good company guys are boring, I get bored easily.

[mahool]

Re: Who Initiates

badabing: I can sense two wives in your life. Good luck with your decisions.

[badabing]

Re: Who Initiates

@GlobalGal

You’re human. I’ve seen the most apathetic guy break down when it comes to his child. You will develop feelings if not for your wife eventually, then feelings for your kids but those terrible things called feelings will eventually find you

You’re right though, emotions make us weak.

I most probably will develop feelings for the wife, I’m human after all. I’m cold as ice in real life - it scares my mum sometimes, she actually worries for me. Meh, I’ll wing it somehow.

[Pisiform]

Re: Who Initiates

@mahool

badabing: I can sense two wives in your life. Good luck with your decisions.

I sense 4 + mistresses lol

[badabing]

Re: Who Initiates

@mahool

badabing: I can sense two wives in your life. Good luck with your decisions.

I’d rather have one, however I know the odds of finding a wife in an arranged marriage setting who can match my drive is pretty low. Heck, maybe I’ll compromise? Who knows how it’ll play out.

[badabing]

Re: Who Initiates

@Pisiform

I sense 4 + mistresses lol

Lol, no mistresses, I’m done doing things the haram way. God has given us the mechanisms to do things in a halal way.

[mahool]

Re: Who Initiates

@badabing

I’d rather have one, however I know the odds of finding a wife in an arranged marriage setting who can match my drive is pretty low. Heck, maybe I’ll compromise? Who knows how it’ll play out.

@Pisiform

I sense 4 + mistresses lol

He will not break trust of his wife, therefore no mistresses. Though, he indicates high sexual desire and wants three times in a day. The only time when he will need second is when his first wife in mensuration .How could he hold 21 times in a week. Then he will bring second wife.

[Pisiform]

Re: Who Initiates

I am just a simpleton, 1 decent one would do for a lifetime.

[mahool]

Re: Who Initiates

@Pisiform

I am just a simpleton, 1 decent one would do for a lifetime.

Majority of guys are simpleton, badabing is an exceptional case.

[Pisiform]

Re: Who Initiates

@mahool

Majority of guys are simpleton, badabing is an exceptional case.

its not to say i don’t wanna get laid 3 times a day lol. Maybe more? But I won’t hang it over her head if she can’t. I would be glad if she did. Marriage is commitment, not just some emotionless sexual release

[badabing]

Re: Who Initiates

@Pisiform

its not to say i don’t wanna get laid 3 times a day lol. Maybe more? But I won’t hang it over her head if she can’t. I would be glad if she did. Marriage is commitment, not just some emotionless sexual release

I won’t be hanging it over her but, I know myself. That’s the problem.

[htmwrites]

Re: Who Initiates

@badabing

I won’t be hanging it over her but, I know myself. That’s the problem.

Well, at least you’re honest with yourself. As long as you make it work, it’s all that matters.

[arabianights]

Re: Who Initiates

@badabing

I won’t be hanging it over her but, I know myself. That’s the problem.

my cousin is the second wife to a rich emirati man so i have seen what happens. The issues you will face are with the dynamics after marrying, as women get easily jealous the will look to prove to each other that there husband loves them through material things. It will lead to a lack of love, and the women to be cold and dismiss everything you ask for. Sure you could divorce them but who will raise the kids and it just happens over again when the new wives relise their not in an exclusive marriage.

[GlobalGal]

Re: Who Initiates

@Pisiform

Marriage is commitment, not just some emotionless sexual release

And if your wife was really eager about consummating this beautiful bond of marriage…lol…honestly what would go through your mind?

It goes back to how do you picture your future wife. What qualities are most important for that life long partnership?

@mahool

Men like sex, women like intimacy. Both genders have different view on it.
Why would you get married? Companionship, family, children.
Bond to mean you: In married life, husband and wife work mutually. They respect each other (ideal married life).

Summary of Urdu: Mating is also an important deed in marriage.

Mother to his future children: They clicked therefore married, and it means they are willing to increase family count.

It wouldn’t be decent of me to say that yeah I want to get married so I can have sex, lots of it since going by the married folks here, it seems like it would feel great to experience it because i’m a woman and have to be careful of what I say or how it effects how society sees me. If i’m brutally honest like badabing, I would say it right out. But I know me and I know that emotions will always come out and attachment will happen no doubt. It can never be just a release ever for me, as much as I might try to tell myself otherwise.

I’m not too keen to get married. Mahool, would you want to get married because of societal pressure or because marriage means something more to you? What are you looking for in a future life partner?

[Midnight_express_91]

Re: Who Initiates

@Pisiform

I am just a simpleton, 1 decent one would do for a lifetime.

Can I join the club? lol

[mahool]

Re: Who Initiates

@GlobalGal

It wouldn’t be decent of me to say that yeah I want to get married so I can have sex, lots of it since going by the married folks here, it seems like it would feel great to experience it because i’m a woman and have to be careful of what I say or how it effects how society sees me. If i’m brutally honest like badabing, I would say it right out. But I know me and I know that emotions will always come out and attachment will happen no doubt.

I’m not too keen to get married. Mahool, would you want to get married because of societal pressure or because marriage means something more to you? What are you looking for in a future life partner?

I have actually answered your question in above quoted post.
Marriage is life long commitment, no to societal pressure.
My philosophy on marriage:
Marriage is more than intimacy and sex.
Compatibility, level of open mind, physical attraction, a close friend who can trust me and to whom I can trust.
Sharing of thoughts, backing each other. A partner in crime.

[Pisiform]

Re: Who Initiates

@GlobalGal

And if your wife was really eager about consummating this beautiful bond of marriage…lol…honestly what would go through your mind?

umm I would be just chilling all day and telling my wife “have at it hoss” lool. It would only show she wants me more which is such a turn on lol

[Pisiform]

Re: Who Initiates

@Midnight_express_91

Can I join the club? lol

sure.Lets start a simpleton club and all those women who are content with one guy at a time can join too