I don't think it's strange.. It's not uncommon for people to like different things at different times depending on their mood and so on, to sometimes want to be dominant and/or initiate and at other times to lay back and let the other person do it.. I would find it stranger (and quite offputting) if a person *always *wanted to be in the driving seat (so to speak lol)
It's definitely not true that they *all *like the role of being masculine and initiating.. Many of us who've been in those situations know otherwise..
Lol at the dominating bit. What i mean is the men i've seen who say they don't mind have rejected girls for initiating things first. But of course i could be wrong i haven't seen all the different opinions of men on this matter, only a few.
Can a man have sex with someone he does not love? Make it an pleasurable physical experience every time even if there isn't the initial love.
How is sex viewed by men and how is a wife seen when it comes to sex. She represents the future mother of his children and a woman that's Islamic and religious so a symbol of purity to him. That image combined with a wife being very sexual and actually enjoying it don't mix....is that the thinking behind this thinking that some men have?
Man can intimate with anyone he does not love.
Intimacy is not an individual act. Both partner cooperate You sounds like if woman is more expressive in bed, then she would not be good mother.
Yeh kistarah ki batain hian... hamary dada par dada, forefathers sab yehi karty arahay hian... ager yeh log yeh karna chor dain to duna hi na chaly. Shadi karny ki aik wajah yeh bhi hoti hai kay halal tareeqay say apni khowahishat ko pora kiya jaye... ab iss main yeh kahna kay biwi ki desire ziydah hai. ager koi shaks istarah say sochta hia to woh banda shadi kay qabil nahi hia... shadi adult hi karty hian kion kay woh iss qabil hojatay hian kay mating kar sakian...
These are thoughts perpetuated by muhalley ki khala into girls that they should always behave being uptight and use intimacy as a carrot to manipulate their husbands. Healthy, loving relationships are beyond the thoughts "oh what he will think of me"
I would think for most women sex is very emotional especially the first time. Consummating a marriage, a special bond like that, is emotional for both men and women what kind robotic inhuman person would have sex based only on physical need. Atleast one person will get hurt finding out that there is no love with all that sex.
So why can't those men that think the way I mentioned in my first post, see that sex is emotional for women and that if she initiates it's for love and not because she's slept around. It's because it's seen as some sort of animal physical pleasure I guess and that's why this thinking.
The woman in my life will never know that I think like this - as far as she'll be concerned it will be all emotional. Look, men think in 1d whilst women think in 3d. Men are are methodical whilst women are empathetic. Women have IQ's around the mean whilst men are either geniuses or totally dumb. We are wired differently. Sure you get the emotional awkward nice guy or the Russianesque commie brick wall type of guy, but most men need sex simply to release - without emotional bs. It is what it is I'm afraid.
The woman in my life will never know that I think like this - as far as she'll be concerned it will be all emotional. Look, men think in 1d whilst women think in 3d. Men are are methodical whilst women are empathetic. Women have IQ's around the mean whilst men are either geniuses or totally dumb. We are wired differently. Sure you get the emotional awkward nice guy or the Russianesque commie brick wall type of guy, but most men need sex simply to release - without emotional bs. It is what it is I'm afraid.
You truly wowed me with this, if this is the case for most men when it comes to sex. I didn't realize there was a difference between intimacy and sex. They are the same at some point for people I figured.
What does marriage and that type of bond mean to you? Why would you get married?
And the initiation thing that this guy said with his wife. His face looked disgusted to think his pure, future mother of his children wife initiating and asking for it put a disgusted, "whore" type of look on his face since sex is truly only for release for men. Or is this dude just an exception.
Intimacy is not an individual act. Both partner cooperate *You sounds like if woman is more expressive in bed, then she would not be good mother. *
Yeh kistarah ki batain hian... hamary dada par dada, forefathers sab yehi karty arahay hian... ager yeh log yeh karna chor dain to duna hi na chaly. Shadi karny ki aik wajah yeh bhi hoti hai kay halal tareeqay say apni khowahishat ko pora kiya jaye... ab iss main yeh kahna kay biwi ki desire ziydah hai. ager koi shaks istarah say sochta hia to woh banda shadi kay qabil nahi hia... shadi adult hi karty hian kion kay woh iss qabil hojatay hian kay mating kar sakian...
I never meant that in the bold. A woman enjoying intimacy and sex has nothing to do with her ability to be a good mother. I am just telling you how this guy saw his wife, as a mother to his future children, compatibility, similar in backgrounds, parents need to approve of his choice....blah blah.
Yea sex can be without intimacy for men but so it can be for women. You think all the women of this world need to bond/have a connection to enjoy a one night stand? No. But both men and women would def enjoy sex more if there is a connection than just doing a random guy/chick.
You truly wowed me with this, if this is the case for most men when it comes to sex. I didn't realize there was a difference between intimacy and sex. They are the same at some point for people I figured.
What does marriage and that type of bond mean to you? Why would you get married?
And the initiation thing that this guy said with his wife. His face looked disgusted to think his pure, future mother of his children wife initiating and asking for it put a disgusted, "whore" type of look on his face since sex is truly only for release for men. Or is this dude just an exception.
I would get married to have babies and because my religion commands me to do so - if I could have babies and sex outside of marriage in a halal way, I would. Being honest. Marriage brings too many headaches.
As far as the way this guy reacted to his wife - again, it is his own insecurities that he is projecting. I have found women to be way more complex then men - yesterday I was lying, today I'm telling the truth. Women have different modes - mother mode, daughter mode, dutiful wife mode and most importantly woman mode: the need to be desired and fulfilled sexually as a woman. This is what many desi guys are afraid of due to their own inexperience (sexually) around women due to religion and culture. So if their wife initiates, they project, shaming her in effect, not to do it again, which she probably won't, as she doesn't want to have to go through that feeling of rejection again. Kind of sad really.
Me personally, I have a colorful past shall we say and as such my views on sex are different to the majority of desi guys. To me the only thing out of bounds would be anal, sex during menstruation and bringing a third party in to the marital bed. Other then that, I'd kind of expect sex at least 3 times a day with a lot of variety - otherwise I could see myself moving on to a second wife to fulfill my needs. Would she have the right to have her needs met, absolutely. It also has a lot to do with your drive. I have paki friends who are fine with sex twine a week with their wife. I also have Paki friends who get it multiple times a week from the wife yet they still have several mistresses on the side that they hook up with during lunchtimes or straight after work etc.
^ LOL ... 3 times a day .. you should have some sex calendar /grid posted on the fridge and if your wife doesn't fill your quota, take a 2nd and a 3rd ... thats really sad you think about women like this. As long as they give me babies, please me x 3/day fine, if not **** off, i take another. But I am not surprised since i have read ur other posts
What does marriage and that type of bond mean to you? Why would you get married?
And the initiation thing that this guy said with his wife. His face looked disgusted to think his pure, future mother of his children wife initiating and asking for it put a disgusted, "whore" type of look on his face since sex is truly only for release for men. Or is this dude just an exception.
Men like sex, women like intimacy. Both genders have different view on it.
Why would you get married? Companionship, family, children.
Bond to mean you: In married life, husband and wife work mutually. They respect each other (ideal married life).
I never meant that in the bold. A woman enjoying intimacy and sex has nothing to do with her ability to be a good mother. I am just telling you how this guy saw his wife, as a mother to his future children,** compatibility, similar in backgrounds, parents need to approve of his choice....blah blah. **
I didn't understand the urdu parts.
Summary of Urdu: Mating is also an important deed in marriage.
Mother to his future children: They clicked therefore married, and it means they are willing to increase family count.
Stop making generalization guys. I know girls who like sex more than intimacy. And I know guys who want to settle down and raise a family than frack anything that comes into sight.
If you like sex and wanna bone everyone, thats fine none of my business. Don't tell me everyone wants to do that.
^ LOL ... 3 times a day .. you should have some sex calendar /grid posted on the fridge and if your wife doesn't fill your quota, take a 2nd and a 3rd ... thats really sad you think about women like this. As long as they give me babies, please me x 3/day fine, if not **** off, i take another. But I am not surprised since i have read ur other posts
Everyone knows my views on this forum. Plus, I feel I can follow gods commands when it comes to polygamy. Can i provide, house, cloth and feed multiple wives and their offspring? Sure. Can I be equitable among them with my time? Absolutely. Would I prefer one wife - most definitely. Sex drive is luck of the draw - especially when it comes to arranged marriages. Can I make do for the rest of my life with a quick fumble every now and then? Nope. I'm being honest with myself. Why lie to yourself? All men are different, what may be normal to you may not be the case for me and vice versa.
Every knows my views on this forum. Plus, I feel I can follow gods commands when it comes to polygamy. Can i provide, house, cloth and feed multiple wives and their offspring? Sure. Can I be equitable among them with my time? Absolutely. Would I prefer one wife - most definitely. Sex drive is luck of the draw - especially when it comes to arranged marriages. Can I suffice for the rest of my life with a quick fumble every now and then? Nope. I'm being honest with myself. Why lie to yourself? All men are different, what may be normal to you may not be the case for me and vice versa.
Everyone knows my views on this forum. Plus, I feel I can follow gods commands when it comes to polygamy. Can i provide, house, cloth and feed multiple wives and their offspring? Sure. Can I be equitable among them with my time? Absolutely. Would I prefer one wife - most definitely. Sex drive is luck of the draw - especially when it comes to arranged marriages. Can I make do for the rest of my life with a quick fumble every now and then? Nope. I'm being honest with myself. Why lie to yourself? All men are different, what may be normal to you may not be the case for me and vice versa.
What the hell is going on? Three times in a day... Do you have job or you spend your all day at home?
Lol, I have a job but by time I get married in 3-4 years hopefully, I will be retired. Even if I decide against retirement, 3 times is pretty standard, nothing special.
Where have I generalized - I've made it quite clear that all men, like women are different, but in my experience around the majority of Brit Paki guys that I know, these observations hold true. You'll always find the goody goody guy or the cold guy - but in my experience, black, white, hispanic, desi, oriental, my views hold merit the vast majority of times.