Re: where have all the men gone?
simplyseema is simply out of her mind ... life is too long to live alone .. u need a companion of some sort who u can rely on and who is going to be there for you ... there is reason why marriage is prescribed and its not just a sunnah ... and on top of that there are your physical and emotional needs as a person that can not be fulfilled (atleast in a halal way) without marriage
Answer this
Can you go without sex all your life? Can you spent all your life alone? do you want your own kids?
a person can be married and still feel totally lonely
.....if we get married only to make sex legal then imagine being married to somebody you find out later is totally incompatible with you and is a total stranger to you, treats you horribly, sex is overrated and so is "love"(whatever that is) :P .
Re: where have all the men gone?
plus not everybody is lucky enough to find somebody they totally click with and find "true love", that's just my opinion nobody has to agree
Re: where have all the men gone?
probability of married person being lonely is a lot lower than someone who will stay single all his/her life
sex is very important part of ones life, whether it's overrated or not, i don't know. Never experience it yet. Maybe you are doing it wrong.
if you want your own kids (halal way) you have to get married
btw are u single? if so, planning on staying single all your life?? why or why not??
well i haven't experienced either :p just sayin
Re: where have all the men gone?
Its better to get married in order to save/protect yourself from bad habits ...
Re: where have all the men gone?
To OP:
Stop being desperate.
Keep looking and keep moving in good social circles.
Perhaps find a social activity as hobby.
Look for future potential in the guy also, not just what he does or makes now.
At times outgoing guys who know the outside world are better than geeky guys.
Good men are out there and are just as willing to get setteled as you are.
Re: where have all the men gone?
diwana im not desperate like i want to get married tomorow but im worried/frustrated that so far the search has been unfruitful.
Also im terms of marrying a guy from pakistan/india....i went to a dawat yesterday...and there were a couple of young girls there who were very different to me and quite inspiring in a way, and i think those kind of girls are more suited to guys from back home...the girls who have lived in england for maybe 5-6 years and still speak perfect urdu and can talk to people of all ages and do the aunty aunty stuff!
maybe im not good enough..thats what i think!
Re: where have all the men gone?
Ha.
Call me sometime and hear my story. I'm your future.
lolzzzzzzzzzzz
Re: where have all the men gone?
all the gud men have come to the land of a few gud men.. 
i dunno hwta i’m talkin abt.. anyways, what kind of a guy r u lukin for?? is an 18 yr old high skool graduate arite for u?? 
Re: where have all the men gone?
A closer look, however, reveals a secondary message lurking just beneath the surface – “Well, you certainly seem wonderful, but you’re in your forties and still single. What’s that about? Maybe you harbor some man-repelling neurosis or you’re such a control freak you scare 'em all off. Something must be going on or else you’d be married like any normal 40-year-old woman!”*
Re: where have all the men gone?
Inspirion I know what you mean! if no one else does... basically someone of equal intelligence/wit.
I would say try online - involve your parents from the inset. There are plenty of matrimonial websites
Re: where have all the men gone?
Again though - please be careful do not go anywhere alone. I would strongly suggest - your parents being involved and the dads/or mums chatting. And perhaps them meeting externally (at a restaurent, rather than a house) you cannot tell with people nowadays.
It can work.
Re: where have all the men gone?
Well i have come across men who have gone into some sort of inferiority complex because their wives earn more AND i only want to work part time after i qualify i dont want to work full time i want to dedicate time to family.
I think this is going to be a sticking point for you. For the first 8 years of our marriage I earned 3-4 times what my wife made, but I supported her and put her through med school. Now she's a physician and makes twice what I make. Does that make me feel less of a man? Did the prophet Mohammed feel less of a man when he married hazrat Khadija who was a very successfuly and even his 'boss'? It doesn't bother me, money is just money, an equal partnership involves many more factors.
YOu sound like a level headed girl. I'm sure someone nice will come along.
Re: where have all the men gone?
there are men out there, but they are not qualified enough for you...you should change the name of the thread.
Re: where have all the men gone?
Pinkorchirds...thanks for your post.....my parents are very involved...they are trying to be as sociable as possible, maybe they should do something more to try and get a rishta for me?
does anyone have any suggestions?
im on already on a matramonial website...we are not having much luck on there...what happens is people show interest we give them our contact number and then no one calls :S
AAhmed thanks for your post...maybe the couple of guys who i have met have had issues which all men dont have...maybe because their wives were their bosses in the hospital for some time it affected them differently?
Re: where have all the men gone?
Wow! You know what I could ask the exact same question. I graduated acouple of years ago and didnt really find anyone interesting at my university either. However, I was asking myself "Where have all the girls gone?" lol Many of them that I liked ended up being from other religions too or not compatiable in the "future sense".
I think maybe you are right in worrying whether you will eventually find someone. However if you have not been able to find someone at least one by this stage then you would wonder is it me or is there not many like me?
The problem is that how many UK Pakistani guys are there out there with a degree, good job, good family, did the uni thing (or experienced it!), still have their morals and religious values, moderate, family-orientated and is thinking about their future? In my area, I havnt come across that many and if I do then they are most likely to have some flaw about them. . .
Maybe the best thing is to socialise abit more.. not only at university, but try to look within your local community. If you work, ask some of your work friends if they know many muslim Pakistani guys etc Many people do know people, it just a matter of pointing them out - you have to let ppl know you are looking. . . otherwise they just wouldnt raise the question. Some may consider it impolite.
Re: where have all the men gone?
wow mclovin! you really understand what im saying in your paragraph about UK pakistani guys, and yeah the people i do end up liking are of the wrong religion or as you said not compaitable for the future.
This year ive decided to socialise as much as possible...in all departments of the university im at, meet friends of friends, and hopefully im going to get a job too!
Im going to also take your suggestion and let people know im acitively looking for someone who is also ready to settle no messing about.
My parents are looking in my local community lets see if they have more luck than me!
But thanks for you post and ure suggestions.
Re: where have all the men gone?
Dont do anything in a rush! lool
Take your time from what I understand ur in your early twenties.. there is plenty of time to get your future organised! You dont want to end up in a commitment that you later may live to regret.
I think in the UK market lol If i can put it like that, there arent that many guys in my community that are well educated! I know that is quite a general comment but even when I did my A-levels, I was one of three Pakistani in my year to be on the course of about 70. Its sad really! I think there is an emphasis now for Pakistani parents to push there children to go to university however there wasnt much of a drive a couple of years ago.
Re: where have all the men gone?
Girl, its ramzan, hit up those masjid's in your area!..or rather, all over town!
And try to find that 'right' aunty, and tell them you are looking! BAM! Watch them flow in!..inshallah! :)