Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
Just tell me WHERE did i say the wife should live with the inlaws without her husband around? You are arguing with me without knowing what i had said.
I rest my case.
I know you didn't but I was talking about the mandatory visits that you were talking about. I am asking you to take it a step further since you are one of the only people who want wife to visit their in-laws forcefully without her husband being there.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
^ acha now my reply was for us1415 and you reply?
Am i missing something here?
As for what u just posted, well i dnt care if im one in million to believe something...as long as it feels right and sits well with my conscious, i 'll gladly stick to it. And vice versa. So your point is?
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
^ acha now my reply was for us1415 and you reply?
Am i missing something here?
As for what u just posted, well i dnt care if im one in million to believe something...as long as it feels right and sits well with my conscious, i 'll gladly stick to it. And vice versa. So your point is?
Dont understand your first sentence.
My point is for you to do it first and then come back and talk. Talking without any experience is just talk.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
Mr i never said i would stay with my inlaws if my husband is not there living with me in that house! So i have no idea what you refering to.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
Mr i never said i would stay with my inlaws if my husband is not there living with me in that house! So i have no idea what you refering to.
But you said it was mandatory hence the confusion.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
^ oh bhaiiii! I said visiting should be mandatory that too as long as the inlaws are nice and respectful.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
you attacked us1415 in your post #9](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=9) for his choice on letting his wife meet his parents whenever she wants.. its fine i f you think it should be mandatory but you basically called him a bad son for his decision.
meet your inlaws every single day if you want, but no need to tell others what they must do .
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
Bibi! Pehle gaur c parh lia kare. I was not talking about op's situation. If you had bothered to read my reply properly, it was directed towards us1415 hence his post was quoted.
my views on op's situation was also shared but only if you had bothered to read before making all kinds of assumtions.
wohooo! I hope my posts are visible to everyone because what you are making out of them was definately not said. I actually said in op's situation the mil SHOULD NOT ask the dil to stay at her inlaws keeping the circumstances in mind. Also, i said the same to u that u did right by making sure of your wife's comfort. HOWEVER yes its super odd for any one with respectful and fine treating parents to say to their wife that you can visit them once a week that too if you want to. Like what the hell? Marriage to u people is all about wife and husband only? What happened to the families on both ends? Do they brought u up only so that you grow up and only care about your feelings? Your emotions?
& and NO boys don't live at their inlaws so unless u were a ghar jamai, i wouldnt recommend you that either. However visiting them would be a must for you as it should be for your wife.
I am sorry if i offended you! I guess we just belong to two very different schools of thoughts.
Fyi, yes you got it right this time. Yes you can't order your wife just as you can't order anyone else either. However, there are certain things you do as human rights and i think, believe that it is per that your wife should visit them, look after them as should you for your inlaws.
No i am not married yet but iA i aspire to do not only this but more once i do get married and only because i feel its the right thing to do.
Just tell me WHERE did i say the wife should live with the inlaws without her husband around? You are arguing with me without knowing what i had said.
I rest my case.
Mr i never said i would stay with my inlaws if my husband is not there living with me in that house! So i have no idea what you refering to.
As you can see I have quoted you above in your discussion with me. You have said that I should have forced my wife to visit my parents once a week when she was waiting for her visa which means I was not there.
With this I rest my case
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
ok i take my words back, i have no right to tell him he is a bad son or not!
I just felt his post was offensive in a way that it showed if marriage was only about you and your wife and your parents had no role or importance in it. Maybe its the new thing that people are following but i don’t buy that.
I should respect your right to your opinion as so should you.
I am out of here 
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
As you can see I have quoted you above in your discussion with me. You have said that I should have forced my wife to visit my parents once a week when she was waiting for her visa which means I was not there.
YES i still stick with my opinion! you don't have to be there for your wife to visit her inlaws. You may not agree but its ok, each to their own.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
ok i take my words back, i have no right to tell him he is a bad son or not!
I just felt his post was offensive in a way that it showed if marriage was only about you and your wife and your parents had no role or importance in it. Maybe its the new thing that people are following but i don't buy that.
I should respect your right to your opinion as so should you. I am out of here :)
Even though you said that you are taking your words back. You still managed to put my opinion down. If you want an explanation of something, the right way is to ask for it. Not saying that I am a bad son without knowing me.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
I just explained what i felt abour your opinion, i thought u were being unfair to yr parents hence my reaction.
Baki like i said, each to their own. Yes i dont know you so i shouldnt say you are a good or bad son. My applogies!
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
I thought both of u were resting ur case :/
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
In reality, they are buzurg and should be treated with respect and kindness always.
But it becomes a failing on a son or daughter's part when they expect other people to do what they will not do.
How many times will a bahu for who its **mandatory **to see her inlaws all the time visit her own mother and father? Automatically, it seems that responsibility will fall on who? The new bride in the bahu's family. :)
Agar log APNE maa baap ka haqq ada karna shuru kardein...to saas bahu ki chik chik se sab ki jaan chut jaye.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
Stay in hotel.
My paper work continued to 3.5 months after my wedding.My husband left a week after our wedding.
I spent half my time at in-laws and half at parents .. I tried to spend time more so at in laws as that was probably the only time i would properly get to spend with them and get to know them better and same way for them. They gave me the liberty to live at my parents and ny husband even emphasized more that i live at my parents but i told him i wanted to spend time with in laws. Without husband or children it in fact was the only time i got to know them one to one and similarly for them.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
My paper work continued to 3.5 months after my wedding.My husband left a week after our wedding.
I spent half my time at in-laws and half at parents .. I tried to spend time more so at in laws as that was probably the only time i would properly get to spend with them and get to know them better and same way for them. They gave me the liberty to live at my parents and ny husband even emphasized more that i live at my parents but i told him i wanted to spend time with in laws. Without husband or children it in fact was the only time i got to know them one to one and similarly for them.
Yeah... but Im guessing your in-laws household consisted of women as well. The OP's case is different....
If I were you Op I would come frequently over to my in-laws and bring over food occasionally (Im not sure if you FIl and Bil can cook ), but I wouldn't stay over.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
Yeah... but Im guessing your in-laws household consisted of women as well. The OP's case is different.... If I were you Op I would come frequently over to my in-laws and bring over food occasionally (Im not sure if you FIl and Bil can cook ), but I wouldn't stay over.
Especially when you barely know the two men.
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
^ Good point!
Re: Where does one stay if your husband is out of town?
Stay with your family and ask him to pay you an allowance.