Sorry mein ne itna lamba lecture dey diya but since now you have cleared the situation then your uncle is selfish but why your aunty is behaving like an angel? She need to learn somethings.
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
sachiiiii ..
Personally, I don't think it's an hypothetical situation. I know for SURE my hubby would behave the same way as my uncle is. This is reality.
reality? how many other instances have you seen to have drawn your conclusion?
It's easy to talk idealistically, but you don't realize the constraints of living as a couple, moreover , as a family. Like I said before, usually you'd want to spend time and care for your spouse, but certain matters are out of your hands. In my own case, I have more work flexibility than my wife - while I can work from home, work late night hours etc., she can't take time off, has strict office hours. So these are some constraints that you need to incorporate into your daily lives and in cases of emergencies, they can sometimes take a toll on you. In the end, it's no big deal... life goes on!
No its not taking their sides its just how well you and your husband understand each other.
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
galfrd kyaa cheeez hoti hai 
Also, tomorrow is Saturday, but he will not be visiting her in the early morning hours with breakfast - he will go late because he NEEDS to sleep since he ONLY get 2 days off on weekend.
aargh ! ok now that's cold ! wouldn't condone this behavior.
Wish the best of health to your aunt inshaAllah.
**Aisi hi khwateen ki waja sy kam chal raha hy desi merdon ky karkhany ka:chai:
**
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
i 100% agree with u …
reality? how many other instances have you seen to have drawn your conclusion?
heheh- seriously, many wid my own hubby. He loves me - at least he says that, and I like to believe - hehe - however, when I am sick, he STAYS OUT. Just the other night I was complaining - that he kicked me out of the living room so he can watch TV loud - while I had a headache (that's just one example - and then we become friends again - very common.)
However, if HE is sick - he wants me to sit NEXT to him, so he can put his head on my lap, and I massage his head and all that. It's TIME COMMITMENT even at home. I make some nice warm food, give him medicine on time, give him water for the umpteenth time, etc.
But HE does not do the same for ME - although he loves me. So my issue is with time commitment.
Us women, also need our hubby's time commitment, besides love!
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
^ Kehny ka matlab ye ky Ehsas sirf orat ki nahi mard ki zimadari bhi hy* "Ehsas!*"
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
heheh- seriously, many wid my own hubby. He loves me - at least he says that, and I like to believe - hehe - however, when I am sick, he STAYS OUT. Just the other night I was complaining - that he kicked me out of the living room so he can watch TV loud - while I had a headache (that’s just one example - and then we become friends again - very common.)
mgt b he feeel lik u ver acting … n piyaar mai maree hoo ge …kick 
However, if HE is sick - he wants me to sit NEXT to him, so he can put his head on my lap, and I massage his head and all that. It’s TIME COMMITMENT even at home. I make some nice warm food, give him medicine on time, give him water for the umpteenth time, etc.
he is doing soo much for u tooo … tht mgt nt b visible to u
But HE does not do the same for ME - although he loves me. So my issue is with time commitment.
Us women, also need our hubby’s time commitment, besides love!
he will b there for u …Azmaa ka dekh lainnnnn
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
women give give and give! It's in their nature...
I just feel that if us women do so much for their hubbies - then why is it that they don't give us equal attention?
if the mutual and group pity party among some ladies is over, lets have some reality time.Mirch and lucid were too nice solet me just break out the reality.
cuz
1) some women decided to comb through all available men, decided to go for desi men (abcds or fobs) and picked for themselves some real choice characters.
2)did not have any self confidence and allowed the parental units to just find them some dude who they later find out has diff expectations of roles in a marraige and life
3) they could not find anyone, and then had to deal with whatever bottom of barrel scrapper candidate some aunty in the khandan or cimmunity found for them
4) were in bollywood love mode and did not realize that the hero they went gaga over was really not going to be a great husband
ladies, ladies,ladies... please stop blaming men for your own or your parents bad choices. take some personal responsibilty for the shehzaday you chose, or agreed to and now have to serve.
Thank You
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
^^^ 
To answer the original question, first of all, is the lady who is in the hospital complaining?
She probably understands that going to work is important as well and given the situation that his work is far off it may be difficult for him to reroute due to traffic, etc. At least he can be back to the hospital in the evening and spend some quality time with her for the rest of the day instead of rushing in and out.
Maybe he can be proactive and bring over some extra food and leave it in the fridge at the hospital…most rooms have a fridge and a microwave, then in the morning the nurses can help her warm it.
Yeah, sometimes it looks bad to an observer while the actual two people involved may be OK with the arrangement.
Regarding women going all out but the husbands not reciprocating…well it’s on a case to case basis and I guess a lot has to do with traditions in your home and family, what standards have been set, etc.
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
^ or what shahzada someone picked or let others pick. :)
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
OK baba. Fine. Yeah what someone picked for them…like from 1000 rishtas, hai itnay rishtay thay lekin yehi chand ka tuKra mila.
We have this one girl in our family that was picked after like 200 girls, aur mashaAllah sey itni zabardast choice thi ki my 6 year old might have better judgement skills than that
1) some women decided to comb through all available men, decided to go for desi men (abcds or fobs) and picked for themselves some real choice characters.
2)did not have any self confidence and allowed the parental units to just find them some dude who they later find out has diff expectations of roles in a marraige and life
3) they could not find anyone, and then had to deal with whatever bottom of barrel scrapper candidate some aunty in the khandan or cimmunity found for them
4) were in bollywood love mode and did not realize that the hero they went gaga over was really not going to be a great husband
ladies, ladies,ladies... please stop blaming men for your own or your parents bad choices. take some personal responsibilty for the shehzaday you chose, or agreed to and now have to serve.
Thank You
[/quote]
haha - sadly I agree to some of your points - but let's concentrate on #2 - the "expectation part" ===> before marriage seriously no one is aware of what they will be going through. I mean I had no expectations to begin with - not mine and none from him either. I was just taking the day by day route - thinking, well we are suppose to be there for each other - that's all!!!
I had no idea once married, with my college degree(and future plans to get a phd), I would be highly qualified for giving birth, mopping, sweeping, dusting, cooking, laundry, and massaging hubby's head! along with a full time job!
So yes, it was overwhelming to meet the "unknown expectations". :(
Same with my hubby - he is a good person but - he can also be mean sometimes!
Scary..
Re: When you are helpless (esp. in this country)
NJMasti, but those are all of your strengths. Most husbands feel proud to have confident and self sufficient wives that are not just capable of taking charge of the family but also participate in their future. Most men can't handle whiney wives who sit home all day complaining about what ifs and whys instead of being cheerleaders and effective. So hats off to you girl!
You may not know it, but your husband is proud of you!
No its not taking their sides its just how well you and your husband understand each other.
exactly , some women who are going through difficult times will paint the whole race of men with the same paint. They will forget how nicely their father treats their mother or how nicely their brothers treat their wives. May be that father is an exception or those brothers are angels and all other men of the world are bad , bad , they deserve to be treated badly.
I am sure not each and every men in their family is a villain and if they look around them they will find some very good examples of nice men treating women nicely.