Situation: A relative of mine just had a surgical procedure done. She is not able to move her leg at all and is in therapy. So after surgery, she has to spend 3 more weeks at the clinic.
Sacrifice: Being a woman, she prepared and froze the food for one month for her family. By doing this, she ensured easement for her family (her husband and one son). * The hubby says he cannot visit in the morning hours before work, since he has to drive far for work (40 minutes).*
Flip the situation: I think if the situation was the other way around and the wife had to go to work - she would make sure that she woke up really early, prepared and packed homemade breakfast and lunch. Pray. Then leave early so she can drop it off. Make sure she sits with him for at least 10 minutes - mostly FEEDING him with her hands. Then clean up and leave for work.
Isn’t it difficult for women, esp. in this country - I mean she hates the breakfast and lunch there.. so I made some nice hot roti/omlete/chai - and dropped it off for breakfast.
I felt like crying because she was giving me so much duaas - words of blessing for doing that.
I just feel that if us women do so much for their hubbies - then why is it that they don’t give us equal attention?
I can relate to what husband is doing. If I do not get enough sleep I will be dosing off while driving even in the morning and at work and will be fired , nobody at work would relate to what he and his family is going through. He needs that job to support her medical expenses and take care of the family. Everything is not because of selfish motives.
^ but that's the difference right there between man and woman. A woman who's hubby might be at the hospital - also needs the sleep rt? so she does not dose off while driving back to HER job?... yet she does it - she would visit him, not only that, she would prepare everything for him too!
Tum bhi na! Sirf aapni sochte rehte ho! (saare men)
Not all men are like that.. my dad used to make breakfast for us even when our mom was still sleeping and we had to go to school.. everytime my mom was sick, she preferred staying with the dad than her family because she knew he took better care of her and us girls.. not only that, my brother in law cooked and took care of everyone when my sister and her older two boys were down with chicken pox.. it was the roughest time for their family.. no one was willing to come to their house because of the fear of chickenpox and honestly my sister didnt even want anyone there.. her husband took care of them ranging from food/drink to oatmeal baths for the sick ones..not to mention, he managed to go to work and play with the youngest son who didn;t understand why older brothers werent playing or going out with him!!!
Don;t generalize all men.. I come from a family where girls and boys are raised equally and help each other out not only in kitchen but even to fix the flat tires!!! :p
The truth remains that it is difficult for either spouse to look after the other if he/she has a professional job. I was recently in the hospital and later at home after a surgical procedure and even though my wife tried her best to be by my side whenever she could, I didn't expect her to inconvenience herself or place undue burden on her to look after me. Other than leaving work early on two days to take me to the doctor, I was pretty much on my own for the three weeks that I was recovering. Some family members dropped by and stayed over to help out during the first week, and that was a blessing!
Not all men are selfish and not all women are selfless. Sometimes, you just can't help it. It really depends on your situation, work commitments, and flexibility possible at the workplace.
My aunt just called me right now simply to thank me - again. She said, she ate the left over from breakfast - for lunch and loved it.
We’re in NJ and it’s snowing out right now - it’s at least 2 inches of snow piled.
Here’s what she told me : She said she was WORRIED about her HUBBY - who has to drive 50 miles back from work, that it will be VERY difficult for him cause at some places the snow is not cleaned and it’s icy and all. She was CONCERNED about HIS safety.
(She had just spoken with her hubby before calling me, and he had mentioned about the hardship of driving in the snow ):halo:
(Please note: By no means - I am putting down my uncle - but yes I am generalizing in terms of MEN…)
^ but that's the difference right there between man and woman. A woman who's hubby might be at the hospital - also needs the sleep rt? so she does not dose off while driving back to HER job?... yet she does it - she would visit him, not only that, she would prepare everything for him too!
Tum bhi na! Sirf aapni sochte rehte ho! (saare men)
You are talking based on a hypothesis I am talking about a real life situation . Who will do what in which situation depends on many factors. You cannot look at a hypothetical situation and apply it to a real life situation.
If her hubby does not care about her , she would not be so concerned about him either.
Some women are there just to bash men and others are real angels who care about their husbands and do not generalize , they are the best and deserve my respect and salute.
You are talking based on a hypothesis I am talking about a real life situation . Who will do what in which situation depends on many factors. You cannot look at a hypothetical situation and apply it to a real life situation.
Personally, I don't think it's an hypothetical situation. I know for SURE my hubby would behave the same way as my uncle is. This is reality.
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If her hubby does not care about her , she would not be so concerned about him either.
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Caring is not the word here - time commitment is. He is not committing the time she needs.
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Some women are there just to bash men and others are real angels who care about their husbands and do not generalize , they are the best and deserve my respect and salute.
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You missed the point. The REAL ANGLE is my Aunt, who cares about her husband, but is not getting the time commitment in return.
ye tu aik haqeeqat hy ky desi mard sada ky had sy izada hadd hram hain. Or orton ko taany daity hain. Purany zamany main jab woh bailon sy hal jota kerty thy tab yaqeenan thak jaty hon gy magar aj kal offices main byth ker thora kam buhta aram on internet games and entertainment ghar a ker ehsan. Roz hi drive kerny sy band adai ho jata hy ye bahany kerty hain ky ham thak jaty hain.
Masla wohi ky orat apni zindagi khud jahanam banati hy kolhu ky bail ki trha kamon main jut ker.
Is khatoon ko khas toor per sabq seekhna chahiy ainda ky liy apni services free main os mushtandy ko fraham kerny se pehly.
(If thread owner is unable to understand my Urdu don't worry other's will understand Jin ky liy pygham hy:D)
hey jst tell us the exact situation … we wont need assumptions … btw men ver like more loving to their spouse as compared to women species …u cant challenge ths anywhere in the world …
It is definately a tough situation for your aunt but I think sometimes job requirements are tough.And sometimes women are not selfless also if I am in that situation I won't let my hubby to come to give me just breakfast as I know he is getting late for work and he has to drop off kid too.And if he is in hospital he will never tell me to be selfless and give him hot breakfast,he will definately tell me to do whats best because we have kids and have responsibilities.If you are talking about time commitment then its really hard ofcourse your aunt can understand, I think its just between husband and wife what they are comfortable with .May be you don't know how her husband is supporting her in other things by taking care of children,cleaning and everything.I don't know but when you are mature couple you understand each other needs and you don't expect high things because you already know the situation.And as far as cooking part is concerned did her husband asked her to cook before surgery? Realy it depends if her husband asks her to cook and then he is not going its selfish.I don't know but your aunt is really angelic who didn't ask her husband to bring her extra food at night so she can eat it in lunch.And I don't know about your uncle if he is not providing her food,it really depends on person to person.You cannot generalize that really because I know for sure if my husband would be there he took care of my food and everything first if he is not coming to hospital in the morning.
^Mardon ki maturity ko aksar agg kion lag jati hy aisy moqy per khwateen tu dil behla lyti hain kuch na kuch soch ker magar bat tu hy ehsas ki. Insan ehsas kery tu kuch ker sakta hy ehsas na hu tu kuch nahi:)
ufffo! itni sari finger dhukhaving ke baad bhi - aap aise talk karing?
That is the exact situation: The hubby says he cannot visit in the morning hours before work, since he has to drive far to work (40 minutes). Also, tomorrow is Saturday, but he will not be visiting her in the early morning hours with breakfast - he will go late because he NEEDS to sleep since he ONLY get 2 days off on weekend. So MY problem is**-** I say a woman would never do that! Why men are like THAT?**
[QUOTE] ye tu aik haqeeqat hy ky desi mard sada ky had sy izada hadd hram hain. Or orton ko taany daity hain. Purany zamany main jab woh bailon sy hal jota kerty thy tab yaqeenan thak jaty hon gy magar aj kal offices main byth ker thora kam buhta aram on internet games and entertainment ghar a ker ehsan. Roz hi drive kerny sy band adai ho jata hy ye bahany kerty hain ky ham thak jaty hain.
Masla wohi ky orat apni zindagi khud jahanam banati hy kolhu ky bail ki trha kamon main jut ker.
Is khatoon ko khas toor per sabq seekhna chahiy ainda ky liy apni services free main os mushtandy ko fraham kerny se pehly.
(If thread owner is unable to understand my Urdu don't worry other's will understand Jin ky liy pygham hy:D)
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app tou emotional hoo gie hoo :D
hey life mai revenge ki nahi rakhiiiii **:D
n MODERATORS PLEEEZ IS REPLY PE TAVANGU FARMIE
n take som action ***:D par i knw moderators sarai gn se dartai hainnnnn :(
*
It’s in their Natureand as long as woman just try to please them not herself this will keep going** on and on:smokin:
If there was a girlfriend(dashta) phir daikhty kaisy udy udy jaty hwa ky sath muhtram na nokri ki perwa phir tu na samaj ki:smokin2:
I can tell in the light of given fact and similar incidents with other khwateen ky there is something is fishy here( daal main kala) for sure sirf selfish uncle nahi koi fish bhi hy os ky sath :desimunda:**
^Mardon ki maturity ko aksar agg kion lag jati hy aisy moqy per khwateen tu dil behla lyti hain kuch na kuch soch ker magar bat tu hy ehsas ki. Insan ehsas kery tu kuch ker sakta hy ehsas na hu tu kuch nahi:)
aap ko angrezi aati hai? muje bohot waqt lagta hai aap ki urdu read karne mai
Ye jazbati qisam dabao mat dalo Modnion per ky ghusy main apni bahdri dikhany ko woh meri intehai shareef qisam ki post ko edit ya delet kerin:smilestar:
btw men ver like more loving to their spouse as compared to women species …u cant challenge ths anywhere in the world …
**Itny jhooty biyanat kahan sy mil rahy hain tumhin:aq:
ufffo! itni sari finger dhukhaving ke baad bhi - aap aise talk karing?
Ye jazbati qisam dabao mat dalo Modnion per ky ghusy main apni bahdri dikhany ko woh meri intehai shareef qisam ki post ko edit ya delet kerin:smilestar: