When did you first become a mother?

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This is aimed at ladies only as men have no problem fathering kids at any age.

At what age did you first become a mother? I didn’t have the privilege of marrying young and then waiting a few years to have a baby. By the time I get married in a few months, I will already be up there in age.

I’d rather have at least 1 or 2 kids before 30 because the difficulties with conceiving and even having a healthy baby increase with age.

Just curious to know when most of you had your first? And if you got married at a late age, would you still want to wait a year or two before having kids or would you get started right away?

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

I think its wonderful if you can spend some time with your husband before kids, actually i think its pretty important to know each other without having the responsibility of caring for a little baby at the same time. I was 28, soon to be 29 when i had my first. We started trying right away and the way things happened, we had about 2 years together before the little one arrived. And i am soooo glad for the time we had together to watch movies, be lazy and get to know each other. Because spare time after a baby is hard to come.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

So you started trying right away but it still took 2 years till he arrived? Does that mean it took you more than a year to conceive? If, I'm being too nosy, just tell me.

I'm worried that it could take years to conceive and want to know how common it is. I always thought when you started "trying" it would happen in a few months. :S

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

We conceived the first cycle after the wedding and it resulted in a miscarriage. As advised by the doc, we started trying again after 3 months and it took another 6months to conceive. Add 9 months to it till the little one made entry and it was about two years but wonderful time spent with hubs.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

candy_apple...i'd advise u to not fret too much. I know some people who worried/assumed htey would have a tough time conceiving...and were pregnant. Jab kismet mein ho ga it 'll happen inshAllah

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

dont stress... i agree with Ira. My hubby and i soemtimes think we should have waited a bit before trying... we conceived 4 months after our marriage....

now the bachi is 2.5, we're trying to enjoy our life a bit more.. :)

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

i agree.. spend time with husband.. i would have messed up my marriage with the stress of motherhood had i had my rascal immediately. you need each other greatly once u have a baby and its not gonna work out if there is no connection created beforehand.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

definitely, enjoy the time that you have together, i never understood it when people said it to me but i do now, give yourself at least a year together, and yes you will get the look and questions by aunties wondering why you haven't had a baby yet...you both need to be comfortable with each other as your life literally does a 360 on you when you have kids.

a friend of mine had her first child at 32 and is keen to get her family completed asap..Alhmadulilah she had no problems conceiving and is coping well with motherhood

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

lady, how old are you? lol you say you want your childbearing to be over by 30, so clearly you have some years to go yet.

i turned 30 this past feb, and we'll complete 2 years of marriage iA this august, so we're thinking about a wee babeh now. if all goes to plan iA then i will be 31 by the time he/she arrives, and while, yes, it did freak me out when people said things like, you won't have energy and you'll have problems, let me tell you, a lot of it is in YOUR hands and in YOUR mind.

as others have said, you need some time to enjoy with your fella before the kids arrive and to get to know each other and travel and spend money on yourselves, because once you get the feeling that you have to have children, i.e. you're ready, its alll about the babies. or maybe its just me lol but i've already got visions of nurseries and clothing and strollers dancing in my head- i'm coveting baby shoes, not shoes for me, and thats a shocker! haha

so yeah, don't fret. it will make things harder when you're ready, and as for all the aunties, shut 'em out. you WILL know when you are ready- its a very strong feeling and it will come from within you, and not from the pressure that gossip creates or the scare stories that aunties will share with you. we live in a very modern world AH and more than that, all of us are destined for some fate or other - you're getting married relatively later because now is the right time for you deemed by God, and iA you will have babies when the time is right for you and your hubby- not when its right for random aunties, or even your parents/grandparents who might be anxious for a grand kid.

i know many women who've had babies at 30, 32, 35, even 40, and they're all doing amazingly well mA- their babies are healthy, they're managing just fine, its all good! in fact, i know couples who started trying in their mid-20's who've had to go the fertility route because they couldn't conceive naturally.

don't worry about it! right now, just enjoy the days leading up to your wedding and have an awesome time! one milestone at a time, eh? :)

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

I didn't have the luxury to marry young, at my end twenties .. so by the time we were ready and he got his visa approved and came here, I was over 30 my first baby I had when I had just turned 31, so it was not bad, I didnt feel that I had no energy, infact I felt now I am mature enough to cope with babies and the issues of family life, so in all I dont reget it in any way.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

^ agreed! especially with your last statement. i would have been a horrible mother if i'd been married young and had babies young- speaking personally only, of course, i still had no idea who i was or what i wanted out of life, not to mention that i hadn't met my husband yet! i feel like now, i'm ready mA, as much as i can be anyway, to handle having a little person around- i've had a career, i've got my own business running outside of work, i've travelled extensively with my husband, i've gotten my schooling- i'm ready for the next phase.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

^Of course you are and you sound it, you would iA make a great MOM! all the best.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

Best o fluck to mommies trying to conceive. I agree with everyone that spend sometime with hubby, prior to having children, even if it is just a year, get to know each other and be on the same page. Inshallah the kids will come when Allah wills. I was 26 when I had 1st kid & will be almost 30 when I give birth to second baby this year. My good friend is 34 and is giving birth in July and she is perfectly fine and dandy. Don't worry too much about having kids right now, just focus on your marriage & enjoying newly married life.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

i agree with everyone, that you and hubby should enjoy yourselves a little before trying to have a little one. the time together allows you to learn about each other (even if you knew each other before you got married), and you get to know about the ups and downs of your relationship.

if you throw in a baby into the mix too fast, you're too busy handling your life with the baby and not spending enough time with each other. when you're already flying off the handle with the baby, and your relationship isn't strong enough..it starts to go downhill.

so enjoy your life with hubby, travel..do things that just the two of you want. like SGC said, one milestone at a time.

best of luck!

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

A family freind of ours got married at 36, waited a year and a half to start trying, concieved at the first cycle and has a wonderful healthy baby boy. He's a year old now and they are going to try again soon.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

^ yeh same story here, i married at 53 .. and now have a healthy child.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

^lolz....liar.

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

^ miracles happened :snooty:

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

^^nt in ur Case

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Re: When did you first become a mother?

You guys are right. I do want to enjoy some time with my husband for the first year, planning on taking at least 3-4 vacations (Honeymoon, then las vegas after a few months and then another destination a few months later). Best of luck to those in here that are expecting or trying to conceive!