What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted wife?

Society Religion & Philosophy
41

Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

To neither necessarily. Your wife thinks women are fragile. Surprised by her statements, I must voice, that I don't fit her blanket stereotype. I would say its been my education and environment that has shaped me, not some God-given predisposed genes that say "...Hm... XX? FRAGILE"

I would also say that many women are stronger than society would think and so the term "fragile" and "weak" and other such synonyms have got to stop. Enough is enough already. The entire world has moved forward and you guys are on of the few who still insist that women are weak and fragile, and must be protected and blah blah blah. The implications of these allegations are pretty severe, and I hope to God no young girl is reading it.

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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

Peace PyariCgudia

By telling women that they are strong will put them into more danger because they will be prepared to go into conflicts more. I think it is dishonest to make you a female wrestle with a male for that reason. She may beat him she may not on the whole women are physically weaker, but that means men must respect them and take care of them. The reverse situation means that men don't need to take care of women.

Islam requires men to be chivalrous towards women. If society in the past has made women 'gentle' then why is that 'wrong'?

And what is severe about wanting to protect women? And what message are you trying to send yourself ... if say in a domestic situation someones uncle wants to take advantage, what should the girl do? Fight? But she can do that already can she not? We don't subdue women, we elevate them.

43

Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

So you think that women are generally not raped by men but its the other way round?

Don't be so biased PCG

Timepass
44

Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

No no. Wanting to protect women and being chivalrous towards women is one thing. Telling a woman that she's weak, when she has great potential to do wonderful things, is a crime to not just her but also humanity. Its insulting to her and her intelligence and her strength. If God has given her strength to do wonderful things, who the hell are you or anyone else to stop her? That's the complete opposite of chivalry. If you truly wanted to protect a woman, you would encourage her to get an education and establish something of herself in the world, all which FRAGILE people usually don't have the strength to do.

Centuries of telling muslim women that they're weak, that they should depend on men. What has that accomplished? Women in poverty. Women who could very well pull their families out of poverty, except this society mentality of "weak women" doesn't really give them the chance. Men tend to aggress upon them more because of this stereotype of "weakness". They are more often the targets of crime, because criminals see them as the weaker sex as well.

You build these ideas and in the end, you're hurting people, and you're hurting families. And I don't need to bring you any proof other than to point at the current situation muslims are in today. Over 50% of the muslim population are women, and they are contributing quite little to the ummah. They are contributing very little to the economy in their countries. Very little in passing on education to their kids, because they were deprived an education.

You people do not THINK of the consequences of your words. You just parrot elder generations, the same elder generations that have given us this MESS that people make fun of our societies for. It should not take rocket science to realize that if you make the woman in your society strong, you make your future generations strong. Something that YOU PEOPLE have failed to do, with your messages of chivalry.

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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

Psyah & Hareem;

No one is getting into a Cage Match WWF style with your daughters or other women folk.

That being understood, the question of whether or not women are weak or not depends upon the everyday instance, not in the Physical Sense. We know men can bench press more than a woman his size, age, and height. But that is not the sense we are speaking.

For exampls, Aisha (RAA) thought it was neccessary to go to battle, so she got on her saddle and led an army.

Wt Ix Ur Mood Today
Wt Ix Ur Mood Today
46

Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

It is no secret that people in the Islamic World are more backwards, illiterate, dumb, and filled with Superstitions than people of the West or the East.

Even the superstitious and ritualized Indians have found a way to progress farther than Muslims. If sticking the female in a house to protect her from her inherent weakness was the way to go, the Taleban would have been a world power, or superpower.

This is all ridiculous.

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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

To these people, that sort of thing doesn't matter. They come up with a range of excuses - she admitted she was wrong after the war was over; she fought against Ali (R) which was wrong of her; she was the Prophet's wife, so she was able to do some things we aren't; she was a Sahabah, we're not; blah blah blah.

These people, in their mockery of Islam, don't understand that the early women of Islam were some of the strongest women in the history of Islam, and its such a PITY that they're so hell bent on their chivalry that they've failed to notice no such heroine exists in today's society. If she does, she's just mocked and ridiculed.

~**~ Tussi Baray ----- Ho ~~~~ ~**~
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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

The Muslim World, [sorry to go off on a tangent] is in a worse situation then ever in its history. And more oil or more economic booms or becoming world powers will not make us any more illustrious or stop us from becoming more decadent.

In my opinion, the Muslims are worse than Sub Saharan Africans (minus West Coast Africa and East Coast Africa); because atleast the Sub Saharan Africans can argue they have always been dumb, illiterate, uneducated, and hungry.

Muslims were the top of the world, where both the West and East looked up to them; now we are a clown troupe - our greatest act is when one of us blows himself up among his own people.

Or when we argue women should not become doctors because the Prophet (SAW) commanded women to stay home. That was what broke the camels back.

I totally believe in seperation between Masjid & State if for nothing, then atleast avoid the confusion of incompetant and incoherent religious men.

~**~ Tussi Baray ----- Ho ~~~~ ~**~
49

Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

Peace Bidd3h and PyariCgudia

To set the record straight:

I and my wife see Islam as encouraging women to be educated more than it encourages men.

I think there is a great need for women doctors and my sisters are two of the most outspoken people I know. They are in their teens and they have achieved grades much earlier than their compatriots.

Women are physically weaker and no one is talking about WWF. That is an extreme example. I'm talking reality here. Men are not allowed to strike a woman in Islam but there is nothing that I have read that prevents my wife from beating me, except implicitly where it states that a wife should respect her husband.

It is the mother of the believers who were the women that are respected. And I believe my wife and inshaAllah later my sisters are/will be like them in look, attitude and behaviour.

Taliban examples are red-herrings here I'm afraid. I'm no Taliban.

To me women are more sensible than men and more capable than men a many things. I don't see men and women as equal. However, it is uncouth for a person to assume to know what I mean when I write clear enough for all to read and understand me. I am in no lowering the potential of women when I utter the obvious.

Usually men resort to physical violence because they are too stupid to compete with the wits against their female counterparts, that does not mean a woman is stronger, it means the woman is better at using her noggin than a man, she is also better at controlling her urges than a man. In fact women have been given a discrete advantage over men.

However, again Allah (SWT) has appointed man as the leader as a figurehead of the family ... because had that not been done then this world would have been Amazonian. By appointing man as head Allah (SWT) has balanced the natural advantage that women have over us.

Now ... who is there to argue with God? ... Take it up with God if you you want to modify His Laws.

Sing a Song according 2 Ur Mood !!!!!
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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

Peace Sister

To a chivalrous person every woman is a princess and a heroine.

~**~ Tussi Baray ----- Ho ~~~~ ~**~
51

Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

Why these coins always stick to my body??

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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w


It's not dominated to the extent that men decide what religion a husband must be for a wife as this thread is discussing.

[quote]
I was in my teens and saw this vibrant colourful band on TV cheesy to bedad and who were they .... The Spice Girls ... What did they represent? Girl Power! Wow! How did they do it? They wore clothes that left them semi-naked and did crappy punches in the air during their video shoots. What a show for the budding womaniser don't you think?
[/quote]
No I don't. I That is a totally irrelevant example. I don't think anyone here pretends the Spice Girls represent an ideal society without male dominance any more than a raqs sharqi does.

Childhood Music to Alleviate Heartache
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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

forgive me if im wrong here but isnt the marriage already void?

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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

Peace Seminole

Men do not decide what religion a husband must be for a wife. If a religious Muslim woman was asked she would make the same decision, because for us our decisions are already made for us, we don't have a set of male clergy bringing us new laws. We have people who learn about Islam and the vast majority of laws are already prescribed by either The Qur'an or Muhammad (SAW). To argue that men are creating the laws is based on your state of self-delusion.

The example of the Spice Girls is not irrelevant it is a symbol for this day and age I can many such examples to show that women in this society who allegedly have 'power' do so because men are actually exploiting them in that exposure that they have. This day and age therefore is not any less male-dominate than the past.

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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

The culture of 7th century Arabia is deeply embedded in the practice of Islam. You can credit the Quran, prophet, sunnah or haidth for it, but the fact remains that the male dominated society of the time manifests itself into the interpretation and practice of the religion.

Whether or not the spice girls are exlpoited is not the point, the point is that it's their decision.

Marriage Nightmare. What if your wife..
56

Re: What's your Opion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted wif

So basically you are saying that women are subservient to maintain order in the household and order needs to be mainrtained so that women can be kept in their place. Very nice.

Now if this woman has a child after divorcing the atheist husband, thru a muslim, can you guarantee paternity? Only a proper paternity test will offer such guarantee, not the kind of pseudo reasoning as to why polygamy is ok to ensure paternity. It is not.

Phew! Is there no end to barabric customs in the name religion?

Men, would you consider cosmetic surgery?
57

Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

Just tell the man to ensure he loves the woman and if the woman also continues to love him back, that is all there is to it.

Rest of it is simply the usual religious convulsive nonsense put out by the excuse makers and incompetent.

If she doesn't feel ready to entertain you the way you want (assuming you reciprocate) obviously she doesn't love you. Let her go back to her cave and you go find someone to your taste and liking. May be she will find a mullah to her liking and be happy being a fourth of a human being.

Take it easy and enjoy life.

58

Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

I think PSYAH and PCG both have valid points especially posts 44 and 49 though they are both discussing different aspects.

For those who keep saying 7th century Arabia was male dominated I would like them to show any 7th cventury civilization which was not male dominated. So this is a baseless accusation that Islam promoted a male dominated society.

PCG even if the male is a figurehead of his household that does not degrade women in anyway. Islam does not teach that men should make decisions without consultation of their wives. What it means is he represents the family. It does not mean he should force his wrong ideas or actions on the family. Your misconception comes from your fascination with titles not roles. Just because he has the figurehead title does not imply he has the dominant role in everything. Men and women have different roles. And this does not mean that they cannot share responsibility either provided each one is adept to the role. Like sometimes I cook when my wife is busy or just doesn't have time to cook because she is tending the kids, it depends on fairly viewing the situation. Now for those males who think cooking is a God-given role for women are dead wrong. Infact it is not good for family life if your kids see that mommies are just servants in the house, they serve daddy and us. That will raise children to be inept when they are on their own.

I think someone here mentioned or in some other thread that earning for providing todays basic amenities is not beyond the physical reach of women and hence this barrier should go. I totally agree.

You have some valid points as well that really have lot to do with changing the prevalent mentality of muslims people to get their house in order. In my personal experience I see problems occur when one spouse refuses to lend a helping hand and assume the other has all responsibility. Anyones notion that women should not be allowed to develop any skills or abilities that help in the overall running and raising of their families in todays environment are wrong. What matters from a muslims POV is that anyone in the household does not indulge in things unIslamic. Their are many professions today in which from a phjysical sense men and women serve in the same capacity and it does not require the male horsepower. I think women can contribute there but what is important if they decide to then it should not be at the expense of causing turmoil in the family. There has to be a concensus between the spouses whether than can figure out a schedule or way in which both can work and also be there for the family life. It depends on what is more important in their lives.

59

Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

How stupid can people get?

One lost soul says she wants men to have authority over women.

A bunch of you come up with a hundred reasons why it was necessary to keep women as lesser beings in 6th century and why it is equally necessary now.

What sort of abject brain. washing has caused this?

Uptil. The 80's when somebody wanted to add a 'lesser intelligent' character, they'd add a "pygmy" or a 'african savagel. You guys have succesfully take that place now. To the extent that if there's a muslim character, it either blows up the kids or beats up the wives!

A woman gave you birth. Your wife and daughter and sister are women. How can you in the least bit think of them as anything less than you? How can you even think of giving your sister or daughter in marriage to be somebody's 2nd 3rd and 4th wife?

Same token, what kind of warped minds do you have to come here and advise this poor man and actually gleefully chide him when his wife is clearly off the track?

You're all sounding like a bunch of vampires eager to bite a human neck and cheerimg when that lost soul becomes a vAmpire too!

Shame on you that you think this sort of immorality has anything to do with good or god.

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Re: What's your Opinion : Question by a Non-Muslim man about his recently converted w

Oh you again!!!