Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
im punjabi too, and thats basically what we do too.
dont know if its just a punjabi thing though.
Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
Pointless traditions. I’m just going to elope 
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
^ No some people have just took this simple tradition to a whole new level next level. Even Prophet's time bride and her friends would sit down to apply mehndi, beautify themselves, indulge in chatter, laughter and just have fun. Things are disgustingly too Bollywood these days.
Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
Oh wait, eloping is also too bollywood innit 
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
I'm a very modern and sinful chick. That's why I'll be dancing at my brother's mehndi.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
Islamically speaking..... what is the need for a mendhi? It's a utter waste of money. It has no Islamic significance what so ever for any rasams.
In my personal opinion there is nothing wrong with a mixed gathering. Some people want to dance with their brothers and dads to celebrate.
A recent mehndi I went to was organized like this.
Event for all (dinner, rasam, guy dances)
Guys asked to leave minus the dulha (his mehrams and sister do the dances)
Dulha asked to leave for the last 30 minutes so all the women not comfortable to dance in front of everyone can do their dances.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
The only situation that truly irks me is when you have the mixed Bollywood style dances with guys and girls who are not related to each other, at that point I think things have gotten too over the top. The rest I figure, to each his/her own, it's up to each family to figure out what they're comfortable and what they judge as right, I may have my opinions, but I won't impose it on anyone.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
I am branching off of this top i know but I am wondering how many of you are allowed to dance at a say mixed wedding? At my sister's wedding some of her now married friends who were okay with dancing pre marriage refused to take part in the dancing because their husbands did not like it. One of my first cousin's dad never allowed her to dance at even family weddings. So im just wondering how many of you would or would not dance at a mixed mehndi?
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
Well what if one of your siblings is getting married and you and your spouse want to dance together at the wedding? I'm not talking about something choreographed necessarily btw.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
My dad did not care for group dances at weddings. My hubby doesn't care either but I feel VERY AWKWARD dancing (performing) infront of bunch of people that I don't know - staring at me.
I would get participate if everyone was on the dance floor.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
My dad did not care for group dances at weddings. My hubby doesn't care either but I feel VERY AWKWARD dancing (performing) infront of bunch of people that I don't know - staring at me.
I would get participate if everyone was on the dance floor.
Most of us living abroad don't even know the extended family properly, do we? I didn't know 80% of the people that attended my sister's wedding lol!
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
^ I know them all. lol.
I dont think we were ever allowed to dance in front of guys. Probably just luddi. Now we dont even do that anymore. But I think if it was just our close family members (in terms of guys), then luddi would be okay. On my cousins' mehndi in Pakistan a few years ago, after the main mehndi function all us close relatives ( male and female) stayed back and had our own little fun and everyone danced together. I wasn't married and I felt comfortable in doing so. But now that I'm married, I dont think I would do it again. The only guy I danced with was with my brother (and my sister) at my other brother's mehndi - but was in front of an all-girl audience.
I personally, LOVE watchign married couples perform a practised dance. its adorable!! I think its better and less PDA than a slow dance that the bride and groom does on desi weddings.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
^ I know them all. lol.
Lucky you! You don't know how embarrassed I was when people kept coming up to me asking me "pehchana mujhe?" and I was like ermmmmm.... no.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
When it's pretty much your family, including cousins, khalas, chachas, etc, and close friends, I think it's pretty alright. Of course one can argue about the Islamicness of it all, but there's a level of comfort there as you know your folks and how they are taking it all. My problem is when people take videos and post them up on youtube and strange people make the rudest comments, or when people who have no dancing gene dance a pretzel dance and end up looking lame. It's fun when everyone is on the dance floor and having a blast together.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
like i said, if one knows that the gathering is a mixed event with mixed dances, and they are not comfortable with it, then just dont go.
simple as that. Its not a big deal.
People do what they want to do and celebrate the way they want to do.
We had a molvi at our cousin's nikkah that forced us to turn off the music otherwise he wouldn't perform the nikkah. I personally that was wrong of him to do so. He was told to come at the time of the nikkah, but ended up coming an hour earlier and gave his demand. If he had a problem with it, he shouldnt have made a scene and left on his own and then return when it was time for the nikkah and dinner.
There are a lot of things wrong in Pakistani weddings these days that can be considered unIslamic. Dancing is one of them. Modesty/Covering up is another. I dont think we shoudl judge people in how they celebrate.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
Yes, no judging here.
Oh boy, the molvi must have got a heartburn :D!
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
We had a molvi at our cousin's nikkah that forced us to turn off the music otherwise he wouldn't perform the nikkah. I personally that was wrong of him to do so. He was told to come at the time of the nikkah, but ended up coming an hour earlier and gave his demand. If he had a problem with it, he shouldnt have made a scene and left on his own and then return when it was time for the nikkah and dinner.
That's nothing! When I was in India, I was told the maulana said if he found out that anyone had played a dhol at the mehndi, he wouldn't read the nikkah. Dancing to door ki baat thi!
They still did, but it had to be on the down low.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
lol this molvi was indian too...hmm....lol.
Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
^Molvis in Pak won’t even let the bride and groom sit next to each other during the nikkah. 
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
lol true.
this was why I had a Guyanese Imam. hehe