Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
You know what I actually find most problematic about these types of ladies-only functions? The expectations that these women are comfortable traveling alone and late at night back and forth to these events.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
I dont understand Sahar. What's wrong with driving alone late at night?
what i find problematic is that these women bring all their kids, including their son who are in their tweens with them and it all becomes like one big daycare.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
^ A lot of women aren't comfortable driving alone, particularly at night. I don't drive so I'm a whole other story. But a lot of women in my mother's generation drive out of necessity for work and stuff like that; they aren't comfortable driving alone at night, and it feels weird to go out alone for social events at night, without their husbands/families. Most of the time they decline or their husbands or someone drops them, if they aren't able to carpool together.
If we're so concerned about Islamic behavior, i think this should be a consideration, as generally women are discouraged from going out alone, particularly at night.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
oh ok i see your point.
in our family, the location is usually at a central place (since most of my relatives live in the same town). And a lot of people carpool with one another anyways. The older ladies taht do come, come with their bahus or daugthers that drive.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
I drive all over the place, but honestly, I don't enjoy coming home alone at night from somewhere. :(
I don't like women only events because there's too much gossip and taunting there. I've experienced that. :(
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
women gossip anywhere. men too - especially when they get together.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
Guys from the immediate family are usually present and participate in the rasms however, when the dancing part comes they leave. I just went to a wedding this past weekend and the family is guy dominated. The guys participated in everything (dances and all) but once the dance floor was open for the girls..the guys were told to leave and cameras were turned off. I think it depends on the people. The girls from my family aren't allowed to dance until the guys are gone and no one is videotaping
Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
yeh bhi sahi hai 
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
lol.
and dont let anyone gossiping or taunting you get you down. You need better ladies to hang out with. =)
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
It's usually the aunty figures who do that. Most friends of mine have't reached that point yet :D.
Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
ok im back!
How it works in our family is that we try and invite only family, friends n close people 2 mehndi and start the entertainment i.e the dances, etc only after most people have left so it works fine that way. However in all of the mehndis we also had partitions but cousins n frnds obviously dnt follow that partiton :D.
I however do find it very odd seeing some women and men dancing like mujra wale people 
now that is really odd 
.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
I remember at some birthday party, some girls were dancing and couple of random guys at the corner were filming them with their phones. It was simply too disturbing, I know for a fact that those guys weren't related to the girls in any way. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of mendi's and weddings where crap like this can easily take place.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
^ there are so many. It's become a real issue in the communities.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
In my opinion, mehndis are so Mujrafied these days (sorry couldn't find a right word). Whatever happened to the beautiful tradition of dholki bajana, tappe singing, clapping and the good old ludi? The raw, spontaneous, simple fun?
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
Its un-Islamic...for sure.
I dont think I've ever attended a women-only mehndi.
Our mehndis tend to be mixed but only family so I guess there's a certain comfort level there? Its still wrong but because its only family no one really bothers say "no men" because all the men are "ghar ke log"...hard to explain.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
For one of my brothers wedding, we had dholkis for almost a month. I kept those dholkis separate for the girls & boys. Why? Because I prefered there be no mingling of strangers i.e. my brother's friends & our cousins or my female friends. Thats just awkward for them that they be expected to dance randomly in front of or with strangers. The boys prepared their own sets of dances & the girls did their own.
We did have mix dances but those were of family only. The last few dholkis were family & relatives only. We had 2 mix dances in which I paired with my brother, my cousin paired with her brother & my bhabi with my brother. There was no awkwardness in it & none of the elders felt bad about it. Our dholkis & mehendi too was considered decent & reasonable with no weird inter mingling yet a lot of fun.
The mehendi was a mix gathering of only people who were close to us. We have known them all for years & they aren't the cheap oggling sorts. Thats not the sort of people we are and neither is our social circle the sort.
Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
No, why would I suggest thanking Allah for sinning? That’s ridiculous! I meant that you should be thankful for all the blessings you have at your wedding, including your entire family being there(men + women) in the context of the discussion. If you feel like you’re displeasing Allah by having a combined mehndi, dances, etc. then don’t do it. But if you feel like you’re not, then don’t worry about it as Allah knows everyone’s intentions and every family has different circumstance and situations when organizing these events and one person’s situation may not apply to all others on this forum.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
well, why are just mehendi's segregated? what about shaadi's? its not just the dancing, its the fact that non-mehram people are mixing thats unislamic too. and i think more girls get "checked out" at shaadis than at mehendis. at least mehendis are mostly limited to family and close friends; shaadi's are an open forum for rishta aunties and the rest of the 400 guests invited. if you're going to do it once, you might as well go all the way, no?
i agree with sahar's pov here personally. i only have brothers too and i couldn't imagine not having them at my mehendi/wedding, etc or being at theirs while they sat in a different room somewhere. people who weren't comfortable with the dancing left after dinner and that was fine- at least they were shareek at our event and in our khushi. why can't that be an acceptable alterative?
Agree with your post.
Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
I'm a very modern and sinful chick. That's why I'll be dancing at my brother's mehndi.
bwahaha! i heart you!
Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?
so my question is, what kind of dances are you guys seeing at mehendis that you are comparing them to mujras?? 
good God. the dances we do, whether its just girls or mixed, are all very hands off, with non-suggestive moves and everyone involved is dressed very decently. no one is up there shaking their t’n’a’s, thats for sure. we’ve never had a segregated mehendi or shaadi in our family living abroad and likely won’t either. is this ogling/gawking/secret family of girls/behaving like idiots on the dance floor a bigger issue in pakistan?