What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Is that Islamic at all? Why don’t muslim families strive towards a women’s only mehendi?

[Please don’t bash me, personally I love singing and dancing. Someone asked me to start this for them :D]

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

Of course it's not Islamic.

I haven't been to any "modern" mehndis tho. All the 'mixed' ones, only men danced, girls sat and ate and socialized and took pix. In another one, it was family only, and the girls danced there... otherwise I"ve been to female-only mehndis. boring :(

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

it is unislamic no question about that

I too love dancing and music...so why can't we have a women only mehndi and party all that we want instead of having these mixed gatherings where all our dances are captured on cell phones and then these videos at times occasionally get uploaded sneakily on youtube as well.

Just a thought.

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

I've been to maadran ones and they are nowhere as vulgar as people like to think. Its just a bunch of people having fun.

People make everything a religious issue.

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Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

But isn’t it a religious issue? I mean, come to think of it, first you have music, then dance, then women dancing in front of men…:hmmm:

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Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

Jaise baki sab Islamic hota hai :halo:.

I think most people avoid inviting people other than close family and frnds on mehndis and most also start the dances a bit late to avoid unwanted attention :snooty:.

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

I know I know that most of what we do isn't really Islamic but hey, this is a BIG thing. No?

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Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

If you looked at everything from a religious perspective, your life would be pretty hard. In fact, you wouldn’t even be able to talk to cousins…

I’m not talking about anyone here, but a Holier-Than-Thou Muslim would do well to spend a considerable amount of his income and time helping others, since that would take greater precedence in the eyes of Allah SWT then the seating arrangement at a mehandi function.

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

Kal baat karte hai :D

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Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

I don’t agree. What is wrong remains wrong. Just because I give tons of charity doesn’t mean I skip namaaz.

Jee, aap ka intizaar rahe ga :blush:

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

The five faraiz are different. And even then, Allah SWT says that He may forgive ALL sins except the sin of Shirk, but He won't forgive human rights violations. That's how high Allah SWT puts humanity.

Anyways, my views are very different from the mainstream and I don't seek to convince you or anything.

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

We've always had mixed mehndi's in my family.

My husband's family is a bit more conservative, so what we did for our mehndi was that men and women were in the same room until the dancing started. Once the dances started, the men left and went into another room. We had rented out a hall that has two rooms beside each other. The men went into the next room and the divider was up so they couldn't see anything. Also, no one was allowed to photograph the dances or videotape.

It kinda sucks because I would have loved to have a forever memory of the dances from both my side and his side. But his family is more conservative and did not allow videotaping or photographs of the girl's dances from his side. My side didn't care so at least I have photos of that.

This way at least the men get to be part of the event and eat food and stuff.

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

No I like your discussions IceSoul, and we are here not to judge anyone, for I'd be the last person to do that. I, myself, am the first to jump in at mehendis and such, and God knows I love music. We just want to discuss and hear opinions. No need to convince or be convinced.

So coming back to the OP. So yes, forgiveness and mercy is up to Allah, and Allah alone, but then comes the responsibility of a human. So as a responsible muslim, why don't we consider this event as a negative? You hardly see the segregated mehendis these days so that goes on to show that people aren't really concerned about this stuff anymore, myself included. Is it peer pressure, trends, what?

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

true..my hubby was so firm on the issue that he didnt have a mehndi celebrated at his side. But my mehndi was a complete ladies only event. The guys were there but the entire hall was segregated and they had their own fun. Worked pretty well for all of us. And surprisingly nobody said anything. My family has always had mixed gatherings. They love to party. Infact all the elder aunties couldnt help praising and praying for hubby and I for being firm on this stance of the mixed gatherings of mehndi being unislamic.

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

Fair enough! Well, I never saw any harm in the free mixing of girls and boys...

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Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

But what about qamar matkao-ing? :faizy:

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

I love singing and dancing too but feel uncomfortable even young dupatta-less, sleeveless females start dancing infront of the male guests. It looks odd even if they are covered head to toe. Really don't have the guts to do that myself.

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Re: What's with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

And what is the groom supposed to do? Not have a mehndi at all?

And what about someone like me, who only has brothers? Should some of the most important people in her life be kicked out of her wedding events?

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Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

THere is no concept of true segregation in pk. i mean i’ve been to many “segregated” events where the waiters are gawking at the bride n girls from afar .Hello Female waiters any1? I mean the west has them , Iran has them , ksa has them ,why not us? I have attended only 1 wedding with female waitresses.Then you’l have the groom come in with his brothers ,cousins and a whole bunch of friends.:smack: They are all nA -mehram for the bride!.it’s actually sad cuz alot of times brides very particular about hijab cant say anything to their inlaws as theydon’t really know them and their values end up being compromised..How r they supposed to say sorry but ur younger brother can’t come in with you? Peception of other ppl matters alot in our society and that dictates how we live our lives.
I don’t know any hijab wearing friends of mine who would be willing to take off their scarves and feel comfortable that no male would come in during a segregated affair.Cuz that doesn’t happen,.It’s always woh tu abhi bacha hay ! (O.T a 15 year old boy tried to swim in ladies timing and his mum was like abhi tu bacha hay . :smiley: For u anuty he’ll always be a kid:p Hint Hint).

I don’t have a problem with free mixing of the sexes, it’s just that with close friends family its different specially at a wedding where your all glammed up to the nines, but the problem is my family is ur stranger. and people forget that. :smiley: . Nowadays there is dancing at the shaddi and even the walima (yes) and generally all our functions are mixed,so if ur not particular about hijab why would you suddenly strike up to be particular on your wedding day?

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Re: What’s with mixed gatherings at mehendi these days?

You know that’s a very good point.

My friend got married last year and she had an all-women mehndi, even though she has a teenaged brother. He was there, but I honestly dn’t think he was there for the dancing part…I don’t remember :bummer: