Oye kaaki, I said change, not a test 
yep, banda apnay viya ka khud villan banay 
idea acha hai 
Re: Whats the going rate for a husband nowadays?
It is OUR responsibility to bring about a change. Why? Because we have the power to say NO when we can say YES.
I'll be honest...Im not taking Jehez with me and his family doesnt want it.
I made up my mind a few days ago and thats the way it will be. :)
Re: Whats the going rate for a husband nowadays?
guess what ?
mai Jahez mai kuch bhi nahi lake gaee :p..
....
It is OUR responsibility to bring about a change. Why? Because we have the power to say NO when we can say YES.
I'll be honest...Im not taking Jehez with me and his family doesnt want it.
I made up my mind a few days ago and thats the way it will be. :)
U GO, Reha Rebel!!!!!! ;)
i wont be taking anything with me aprt from my own things!
i've bought a few bed sheets, but thats all! and only cos i like the designs!.
we did the same at my bro's wedding...we did out their room ( he consulted with her about colour scheme and furniture etc) and SIL bought along her own things.
tho her mother did send things lilltle things even tho we asked her not too!!
Re: Whats the going rate for a husband nowadays?
The only thing you do need to take is a sleeping bag…in case they throw you out 
Re: Whats the going rate for a husband nowadays?
About three times more than your average price for a woman.
Thankfully men do not have a sell-by date :D
Hmm okay so I have a question for all of you girls. Most of us here say jahez is not a good thing. But who here has the guts to stand up to society.** I mean go back to basic islamic teachings. Who here can say that they want a simple nikah with rukhsati all on the same day and a simple valima. (I think the basic requirement (don't quote me) is 20 people to attend the valima. **
So no shor saraba no nothing. And once you are married to stand up to your inlaws who might not openly say anything initally but still have a hope that you will not come empty handed.
Another scenario I know of this couple where the guys parents said we don't want any jahez. So girl came, for what ever reason it did not work out between the couple. The second wife comes in again guys parents say no jahez the second wife refuses to sleep on the same bed as its the same as where the first wife had been on. So hence second wife decides to bring her own bedroom set.
I mean there is always reasons as to why all these unislamic practices go on. I mean growing up I have seen all my cousins friends have fun moderate weddings for me to say no i will not. I do not think that is one thing i can do, Unfortunately.
Just a thought.
Moderate weddings are sunnah but there is no ruling that says it's haram to spend a lot on a wedding if u can afford it. **It's all relative and as long as u still pay ur zakat and give to the poor there is nothing wrong with it. Now, a dowry being imposed on the DIL is** haram. Nobody is saying don't give any gifts at all to inlaws cos that is downright rude lol but to have to buy a car, motorbike, fridge, electrics etc. is just ridiculous. It is easy to stand up to these evil (yes, it's a strong word but that's how I feel about it, girls back home in the villages can get beaten, set on fire cos their idiot inlaws feel they were not given enough) practices, just refuse to marry into these families, if the parents of these girls all stood firm and said no way my daughter is not going to marry your son this stuff would die out. By giving in it just goes on and on and on...
lol 
U GO, Reha Rebel!!!!!! ;)
I know I can always count on you!
Moderate weddings are sunnah but there is no ruling that says it's haram to spend a lot on a wedding if u can afford it. **It's all relative and as long as u still pay ur zakat and give to the poor there is nothing wrong with it. Now, a dowry being imposed on the DIL is** haram. Nobody is saying don't give any gifts at all to inlaws cos that is downright rude lol but to have to buy a car, motorbike, fridge, electrics etc. is just ridiculous. It is easy to stand up to these evil (yes, it's a strong word but that's how I feel about it, girls back home in the villages can get beaten, set on fire cos their idiot inlaws feel they were not given enough) practices, just refuse to marry into these families, if the parents of these girls all stood firm and said no way my daughter is not going to marry your son this stuff would die out. By giving in it just goes on and on and on...
I just wish our girls would realize spending money on our weddings and turning them into lavish affairs doesnt guarantee happiness. Jehez doesnt guarantee happiness. Money doesnt guarantee happiness. All these things do more harm then good. The bar gets moved up even higher and the pressure is on to compete with these families who are throwing money around like water.
All Im saying is that WE need to be the ones who make it easier for other girls to get married. Why? Because we can. There are certain things in our society we cannot help or change. THIS isnt one of them. We can help to banish this evil...that was the perfect word Deeba...so we should. Anyone who is reading this and is about to get married. Dont just look at this as some random thread on a topic that has nothing to do with you. Be the example and make it easier for other girls in less fortunate circumstances. Seriously, it doesnt take a lot. Just cut out some frivolous expenses and say NO to taking Jehez! That actually SAVES you money and can also save someone else from being exploited. It takes one person at a time to do this. Set the tradition in your own homes...I know we can make it happen!!!
I know this is a topic which is usually discussed in Weddings. However, I think its a life problem now so Im posting it here because I want to know what everyone thinks...not just the soon to be brides.
I was talking to someone about this a couple of days ago. Baree and Jehez. Many girls dont get married in Pakistan because there is no Jehez to give with the girl. Families will not accept a girl without taking either a large sum of cash or expensive items in exchange for their son. ** Years ago there was a rishta for me in which the guy's mother called my mom and blatantly asked how much cash she was going to give in Jehez. My mom laughed and asked "Ive been out of the loop for a bit, what is the going rate for a husband nowadays?"**...something to that effect. Needless to say, that woman didnt get a call back from us despite her willingness to "negotiate".
My dad has four girls, where will he be if he has to purchase all of his son-in-laws? I personally know a man who filed bankruptcy after his daughter got married...he gave her everything he had. A car, cash, money for a down payment on a house, jewelry, blah blah blah.
I think as girls we need to start breaking out of this custom by simply not caring what we get and maybe even (WITHOUT OFFENDING) try to get out of taking baree or jehez if at all possible. We owe to every girl's family to stop participating in this archaic tradition.
P.S. - Candy_Apple, this thread was inspired by your thread but it isnt an attack on you. :)
I'd like to know what was that woman's response to your mother's question.
Re: Whats the going rate for a husband nowadays?
She was like:
"Ji? Arey ye aap kaisi baatein karrahi hain...aap to bura hi mangayeen! Chaliye, koi nahin. Ye baatein to baad mein bhi hoti rahengi..."...and blah blah blah.
Ah ok. I'd like to see someone ask for a list of their demands, get that list and then tell them they're not interested.
Re: Whats the going rate for a husband nowadays?
Its been done. When you're still being advertised...you get all kinds of people. And A LOT of them are people looking to get a return on their son and the amount of money parents had to spend on him. It takes the same amount of cash to raise a guy as it does a girl...girls being more expensive because of our many spending habits...hair, nails, makeup, shopping, etc. If anyone should be asking for a return, it should be the girls' parents because they are the ones who part with their child.
Re: Whats the going rate for a husband nowadays?
Have we decided the final rate yet? I am really getting impatient now 
I meant more like have them produce the list knowing that they're going to reject it anyway. Unless of course the only thing they're asking for is the girl herself.
Re: Whats the going rate for a husband nowadays?
a five dollar shake. :hinna:
Not exactly like Mirch said, but I do know of someone back home that “bought” a wife from Swat. THere was like a 30 year age gap. I think he did it to have a “son”. Don’t agree with it, but that is what happened. I think he had to pay like almost 100K rupees to the girls family as well as other stuff. The girl turned out so chalaaq. She didnt speak urdu but the guy taught her, and even trusted her to EVERYTHING of his. Her brothers/sisters would always be over etc. One day she scammed him totally, took all his valuables, cash, gold, everything & ran away…probably back to swat. This is a fact. I have heard there are a handful of people that almost do this as a business, get married to an old man near death, and wipe out his savings and move on to another.