we are talking bout virginity here
perhaps i should start talking like a KG teacher
here in simple words
No virginity to me is no Biggie!!!
If I am in the market looking for a man,
hahahahhahaha!!!
Anchal, i am checking the market these days, but to tell you the truth i donno nothing about this product....you know the stuff what kinda machinary i shud look for? made in korea/japan/amreeka/pakistan/india??
kon se purzay ki kitni gurantee honi chaiay? shud i ask for some kinda warranty too? damn, i donno nothing....Help oye....mein khoob thok baja ke maal khareedna chahti hoon......
you know i heard naaye driver ko pehlay hammesha purani gaDi leni chaiay....per purani gaDi ka kiya bharoosa?? rastay mein chaltay chaltay band ho gai tou??
i really am confused....sigh
Naik*naya naya Driver*Larki
You just made a swift U-turn. There is a huge difference between these two statements:
- "... virginity to me is no Biggie"
- "Personally, i would prefer a experienced man over a virgin one anyday"
While most people here will agree that virginity alone is not the most important issue as you consider many other things when looking for a life partner.
But when you said that you will actually "prefer" an 'experienced' person (divorcee, widower or playboy), you lost most of us. Because that implies that all things being equal, you'd rather not have a 'clean' (to use Najim's words) man. That is something where most people will disagree.
Ofcourse you are free to make your own choices. But this is rather an important part of this whole discussion where we are discussing how each of us view the aspect of virginity in the context of selecting a life partner.
hehehe Naik, abay it was a figure of speech
PM, what exactly do you mean by clean or unclean?
Do ppl who have had sex before such as divorced individuals or those whose partners have died automatically become unclean?
are you or am i unclean just because we are married?
and in future god forbid if we lose our partners will be regarded as used and unclean
I am not talking bout playboys or men/women who play around
and I have no idea from where you came to this conclusion that I would be talking bout playboys
I am talking bout ordinary ppl who arent virgins for some reason or another
There are girls, who would kiss, allow fondling but wouldnt allow penetration
so that their virginity remains intact
then there are girls who were in a honest relationship such as marriage, which for some reason or other failed
which one would you pick
To others Virginity maybe a big thing
for me its not
for me personality, commitment, honesty, lies high above
Don't start with me on 'clean/unclean'. I told u I am using Najim's words. Its just to differentiate between those who have pre-marital sexual liasons and those who don't. Period.
Re: Playboy... u said 'experienced'. & guys can become experienced (in sexual matters or become non-virgins) in several ways, including all the three types I mentioned. You never specifically mentioned your abhorence to playboys, so why start now.
Kapeesh!
Sometimes I wonder whats with this Bee Jamalo attitude of yours
khudi baat ka batangar bana kar khudi lecture dena shuroo ho jatay hain
perhaps it would help if you stop taking out baal ki khaal and just read what is written
rather then trying to take out hidden messages
'If i am in the market i would prefer an experienced man over a virgin'
Simply means virginity to me is no Biggie
playboy, clean, unclean blah and blah is your extra input not mine
Contradicting statement. You say virginity is no biggie for you. Obviously it is as you would prefer a non-virgin instead of a virgin.
hmmzz
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif
~Survival of the smartest~
[This message has been edited by aMiGo (edited June 24, 2001).]
[quote]
Originally posted by Yasmine2:
**Yes, we all understand that pre-marital sex is forbidden in Islam but lets talk about the double standards in our desi culture. Our desi society condones pre-marital sex for men regardless of Islamic standards. There are a lot of desi guys who believe that it’s ok for them to sleep around I remember meeting a guy once who said “I’m a 26 year old guy, you don’t expect me to be a virgin , do you?” But at the same time, the girl’s virginity was very important for him. Why is that? Why would a vigin want him and why should she put up with it, if he wouldn’t accept that from a girl?
**
[/quote]
i agree with yasmine
Some people put virginity infront of everything
To others virginity isnt that much of a deal
It all boils down to the two people who are in the relationship
So its a personal choice
[quote]
Originally posted by Anchal:
**There are girls, who would kiss, allow fondling but wouldnt allow penetration
so that their virginity remains intact
**
[/quote]
Now here's a good point that Anchal brought up.
You can't arbitrarly decide who is "unclean" and "clean" on someone's virginity.
There are girls who have been quite intimate with ** SEVERAL **people but would fit your technical definition of virgin. Then there are some girls who may have been in a committed relationship (not marriage) and have had sex and been intimate with only one guy.
I'm not condoning either but personally, I would find the girls in the latter situation to be better than the former.
[This message has been edited by Yasmine2 (edited June 24, 2001).]
[quote]
Originally posted by Najim:
BTW Roman, I understand why are u asking this question. Let me tell you one thing ... there is no difference between a virgin or a non-virgin woman. Same there is no difference between a virgin or a non-virgin man.
I would suggest dont think about these things when u are getting married because these are not the most important part of the relationship & if you are virgin (I take it as you are not married) then keep yourself clean, follow the religion.
As Umer said, I think if a man is keeping himself clean deserves a clean woman. So a woman deserves a clean man if she keeps herself clean.
[/quote]
1- Yes Najim, please do explain to me why I am asking this question?
2- What marriage got to do with virginity? Were you a virgin when you got married? Does it matter to you or your wife NOW that you are married if you were or were not a virgin before marriage?
What is it about a person that changes so drastically if he/she had sexual intercourse before marriage?
3- How does a person become 'unclean' if he/she is not married and not a virgin either and doesn't have any STDs?
heard this joke once......it's pretty funny so here goes:
why do men want to marry virgins?
because they can't stand critism!
before you all start I personally do not believe in pre marital sex myself but the jokes still funny
I don't know if this really fits in but Amigo mentioned something about this, anyway here it is for further clarification(the highlighted and italic parts are important):
Praise be to Allaah.
This depends on the situation of the husband; it may be that marriage to a widow is more suitable for him, and better.
The widow may be a lady of religious commitment and good character, such that you would not want to let the opportunity to marry such a woman “slip through your fingers”, and you could not find a virgin of such religious commitment and character.
But generally speaking, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marriage to virgins.
There is the story of Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him), whose father had died, leaving him with sisters. In his case it would not have been suitable for him to marry a virgin who was young like them. So he wanted to marry a woman who had been previously married, who could take care of them and look after them, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) approved of his decision.
It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked me, ‘Have you got married?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young girl, whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ I said, ‘I have sisters and I wanted to marry a woman who could gather them together and comb their hair and take care of them.’ He said: ‘You will reach, so when you have arrived (at home), I advise you to associate with your wife (that you may have an intelligent son).’”
*(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1991; Muslim, 715) *
According to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2257), “… so she could teach them and discipline them.”
According to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2805) and Muslim (715): “He said: ‘The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, when I asked his permission (to participate in jihaad), “Have you married a virgin or a previously-married woman?” I said, “A previously-married woman.” He said, “Why did you not marry a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?” I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, my father has died (or has become a shaheed/martyr), and I have young sisters, so I did not want to marry someone like them who could not discipline them or take care of them, so I married a previously-married woman who could take care of them and discipline them.”’”
It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “My father died, leaving seven – or nine – daughters, and I married a previously-married woman. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked, ‘Did you get married, O Jaabir?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young girl whom you could play with and she could play with you, and you could laugh with her and she could laugh with you?’ I told him that ‘Abd-Allaah had died and left behind daughters, and I did not want to bring to them someone like them. So I had married a woman who could take care of them and discipline them. He said, ‘May Allaah bless you,’ or similar kind words.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5052)
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said:
“It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) – unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”
*(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10) *
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
"I am not playing with a full deck!"
[This message has been edited by Abdul Basit (edited June 24, 2001).]
Abay Anchal, why are you being so defensive about playboys ....just tell Peacy that you have no problem wid playboys either as long as they have been driving safe wid their seat belts on....
Naik not getting upset
just annoyed
there was no mention of playboys in my post
fabrications ugh ugh!!
even Playboys can be clean if they practice safe sex
its all bout personal choice
You know there is an operation that can actually restore virginity
I didnt want to bring this all up and direct the mode of discussion into another way
but ppl can be fooled
those who consider women or men to be pieces of flesh
PS. Missing you heaps
I think the whole point of this topic is not how the virginity was lost but why it was lost? If it was a mistake it can be ignored. Like they say "Mistakes are forgiven, habits are not"
And please stop saying "I prefer experienced one." It is not very nice to talk like that.
[Sultan]
Your first Question:
You are asking this question, because you want to settle down, you now have to make some serious decisions and you want other people opinion before you decide. In straight words you need a woman.
Your Second Question:
Virginity has nothing to do with marriage but for some people it does matter if their spous is virgin at his/her first marriage. Rest is personal I would reserve my right not to disclose.
Your third question:
I used UK English, usually here "clean" means a person who didn't have a sexual relationship (to be precise West London only). Some people also say "used or un-used" but then its considered in-decent term.
[quote]
Originally posted by Yasmine2:
**
There are girls who have been quite intimate with ** SEVERAL **people but would fit your technical definition of virgin. Then there are some girls who may have been in a committed relationship (not marriage) and have had sex and been intimate with only one guy.
I'm not condoning either but personally, I would find the girls in the latter situation to be better than the former.
[This message has been edited by Yasmine2 (edited June 24, 2001).]**
[/quote]
It arises another interesting point.
Are we ignoring the third category altogether i.e. people (girl/boy) who have never been in any sexual relationship before marriage nor involved in any hanky panky (i.e. just avoiding sex) before marriage.
Should these kind of people be victimised?
Should they not have the right to get pure (clean from any of the above impurity) spouse?
I think people get what they deserve so a hanky panky person might get a virgin girl but believe me Allah is fair. He would make things fair for the girl. I am saying this coz I know people who have gone through this phase of fairness.
please don't go into describing the details of clean or pure