What is it that it makes men want virgin women for wives?
The same thing that makes you want to buy a new car as opposed to a used one.
chilli, please explain to me how a woman is 'used' if she had previous physical relationship. Thank you.
There is something about the new car smell !!
Will do the explaining a bit later..
Stick to the subject.
[This message has been edited by Admin (edited June 21, 2001).]
Man would like her to believe that he is the Best. If she already played the tango...then he fears she might know what is Daa Best.
so we're cars apparently?
ojects?
chilli you go out to car dealers often and try to look for an economical brand new yet favourable car often?
and you want its - yet its - interior to smell fresh and pure and untouched?
very mature. and very respectful of you to compare. idiot.
The other aspect to it is what ChaanMahi said.
[quote]
Originally posted by chilli:
The same thing that makes you want to buy a new car as opposed to a used one.
[/quote]
What the heck...is man also used when he has any relationship with any woman, other than the one he marries..?
Btw, man cannot buy a women..
[This message has been edited by Rani (edited June 21, 2001).]
rani - a desi once told me this.
if there's anything (desi) guys tend to brag about the most are 1) their car
and 2) their wife
how good that feels, does it not ?
You surely made that up, Aphrodite.
No Deshi husband will ever brag about his wife.Most married deshi men tend to be very conservative in public about their wives.While Deshi wives may discuss their husbands with friends.
Chilli: Your comparision is just disgusting. How can you compare the virginity of a woman with a new car? I hope you are not going as far as suggesting to "buy" a woman and replace her by a new one some years later?
Back to the question, which was why we (men) want our future wife to be a virgin.
For me it's quite simple: I'm staying away from premartial relationships, because my religion tells me to, so I expect the same from my future wife.
Umer, the Pakistani Brain of Austria
I think people are misreading what chilli is saying. He didn't say that women are objects or anything. He just gave an analogy to explain his answer.
I remember in another thread somebody used the term car for men and I doubt if anyone complained that they are being thought as objects.
Some of these *mardum azaar * women should get a life. They can start their own thread that "men think of them as objects" or whatever rather than continuing with their rubbish in some totally different thread.
[quote]
Originally posted by aphrodite:
**rani - a desi once told me this.
if there's anything (desi) guys tend to brag about the most are 1) their car
and 2) their wife
how good that feels, does it not ? **
[/quote]
I have seen desi guys brag about their wives cooking and various other attributes, actually i think it is very nice to be proud of ones spouce.
Desi guys also brag a lot about their children..
But comparing women with a car is an another thing it reeks of poccession or master slave relationship and u don't poccess human beings.
Umer...i agree with u, morality is a two way street...
Most Desi's dudes live on double standards...words like used are sooo offensive but they think nothing of throwing them left and right.
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by khan_sahib:
I think people are misreading what chilli is saying. He didn't say that women are objects or anything. He just gave an analogy to explain his answer.
His analogy sucks...
I remember in another thread somebody used the term car for men and I doubt if anyone complained that they are being thought as objects.
I don't remember any women comparing men with used car..
Some of these *mardum azaar * women should get a life. They can start their own thread that "men think of them as objects" or whatever rather than continuing with their rubbish in some totally different thread.
Really..you are the only one who needs to get life and learn that respect and morality are two way street ....calling somebody 'used" as Chilli has done is extremly offensive and speaks volumes about the person using this kind of derogatory vocabulary.
[This message has been edited by Rani (edited June 21, 2001).]
Umer, my dear friend, you seem to assume that every woman has not been previously married. What if a woman hasn't had premaritial sex but is no longer a virgin bcuz of a previous marriage.
The response above make me think that most men would somehow feel that a "virgin" is better than a previously married woman, just because of her virginity.
So guys, if 2 women were exactly alike in everything (total clones) but one was married before and the other wasn't , which one would you prefer?
[This message has been edited by Muni (edited June 21, 2001).]
[quote]
Originally posted by khan_sahib:
*I think people are misreading what chilli is saying. He didn't say that women are objects or anything. He just gave an analogy to explain his answer.
*
[/quote]
Thankoo Khan saab... for coming to my rescue.
Ladies log... please do not rush to conclusions about my statement...
I am sure even ladies prefer husbands who are virgin (esp. if they had a choice). Past sexual escapades of the husband is something which most women dont want to hear and dont feel comfortable with.Its just that women dont make as much fuss about "new cars" as men do.
Dear Admin,
Could you please stop butting in (hey, look at the phrase 'intellectually') every single time somebody says something a little unrelated? I mean, I understand if people go completely astray in a thread but if you had waited a little more to let other members ignore what Jasoos said, he'd probably get the hint on his very own (I know it's a little challenging in his case but have some faith). And if that'd have not worked out then, yeh, cool, issue a small warning. Work with people here, not work on them.
Trust me, your nick showing up in a thread is a lot less appreciated than some idiot who's foolishly trying to be funny.
Thank you.
Umer,
you do understand that loss of virginity doesn't necessarily have anything to do with premarital relationships. Women are raped and divorced (I'm applying the general concept of 'virginity' as it is viewed in rape's case). Secondly, 'previous physical relationship' doesn't necessarily mean premarital relationship.
"Whats in Virginity?"
There are several ways to look at this issue. For most of Gupshup members, the issue is moot if we look at it from a religious view-point. Now I am not talking about divorcees or those who were raped, that will come later.
If a girl had pre-marital sex willingly, then many of the muslim guys, if they know about it, might not agree to marry her. This will be for two reasons. (1) Islam forbids willing pre-marital sex, (2) The psychological feeling embedded by the parents and elders that the girl/guy who had affairs before marriage may also end up having affairs afterwards and thus is untrust-worthy.
It is debateable how much of it is true, and it is all on a case-by-case basis and there is no point in generalizing it, but all things being equal a good muslim man will go for a girl with clean reputation and no pre-marital sex.
If a person is willingly marrying a divorcee or a widow, then virginity is a non-issue.
The case of rape victims is different, and different men may look at it differently. While some will feel compassion, the degree to which they will be willing to show this compassion varies. Not everyone will be willing to make them their wives. The reasons are two fold, however virginity is not an issue there. (1) All things being equal, they will go for a girl with no such complications in her past, be it child-molestation or rape. (2) A girl who is raped may develop strong emotional issues which can prove detrimental in the way she progresses in life and brings up her own kids.
Again this is not a cold fact, and will depend on each person, but in perception this is how it works. The stark difference between a rape victim and a girl with willing pre-marital sex is that former had only feelings of dislike/hate towards the perpetrator while in latter case she may still be harboring feelings of pleasure about the whole thing. Will it make a difference in the future life of the couple, is anybody's guess. Marriage is a gamble anyway, so ppl tend to minimize the risk factors,a s much as they can. Then again there may be extraneous reasons, like falling in love with someone, where such considerations become moot.
Last, but not the least... how do u figure out if a girl is a virgin, anyway? It is almost impossible to determine if a girl is non-virgin simply by a broken heymen. And the theory of blood on the first time, while true in a lot of cases, is not a conclusive proof of anything. Even riding a bicycle or strenous exercises can cause the heymen to break, in some cases. So unless there are some emotional or psychological indications or reliable prior knowledge, the husband will be well-advised to not make this a big issue.
It is absurd to play hypocratic double standards. Where its okay for a guy to have all the fun while he is bachelor and expect the would-be wife to be a hoor-pari from the heavens. You get what you deserve. This is true in most cases.
[This message has been edited by Peacemaker (edited June 21, 2001).]
*>> So guys, if 2 women were exactly alike in everything (total clones) but one was married before and the other wasn't , which one would you prefer? *
both !