Would you start a relationship with someone, if you know that your parents would not approve of you marrying them?
For example: Talking to someone who is from another race and lives in a different country?
Would you take the chance the see where it leads and hopefully convince your parents?
Would you not care what your parents think..its your life and your happiness.
Or would you just not bother to start anything?
Your thoughts people…
Re: What would ammi abu say????
Ammi/Abbu are essential part of my life and I give this thought to every step that I take.
Call me mamma's boy or whatever :)
Re: What would ammi abu say????
ummmm..... To prevent Abbu ji to not have a heart attack i wud make sure my bf was pakistani/muslim and prefably the same caste. I know theres no caste in islam, but what can you do? People stil think like that.
For ammi, all she wud care abt is if hes muslim and if he can provide and look after me and a family.
If i know my parents wud not accept me even in a relationship i really wudnt go into one. Theres no point starting all that heart ache for nothing. And wudnt be fair to the guy.
Re: What would ammi abu say????
so if the person had a deen (i.e a pious muslim) that you really like and admire, and has a good heart...then what?
so if the person had a deen (i.e a pious muslim) that you really like and admire, and has a good heart...then what?
you have added a twist by adding "really like and admire".
If you are in love with him, you can try manoofy ammi abbu else Its not necessary that we end up loving or marrying every nice and good at heart person because if that is the case, I am changing my nick to "nice and good at heart person" :)
Just like any other thread, you're going to see ppl saying something like "I don't give a s**t what anyone thinks, its my life" and then there would be some saying "Ofcourse, we care" and some like "ermmm dunno"
what's new?
so if the person had a deen (i.e a pious muslim) that you really like and admire, and has a good heart...then what?
No offence, but a silly question, If he was a very good muslim good heart etc, Sorry but why wud ami and abbu have a problem?
Re: What would ammi abu say????
Eh... i'm the type of person that would just never start the relationship if I know my parents wouldn't approve. People know their parents well...they know what their expectations are... its easier to use that as guidelines... it makes life a lot easier. Because truth is- if your parents were easy going and you think you can convince them later on.... well then u also wouldnt have fears about getting into the relationship due to knowing that they would dissapprove.
So why dig yourself in a hole when you can totally avoid it???? Thats my opinion....
I would hate to cause my parents any sadness ... and cause unnecessary stress in their life. So I would just avoid putting myself in that situation.
Re: What would ammi abu say????
Yeah I have done, my dad is really liberal so wasn't too worried about him whilst my mum is quite strict (more religious than cultural tho).. she is fine with it now.. I think it's kinda sad when ppl don't even try cos then nothing would ever change.. Tbh if she hadn't come round I prob would go ahead anyway cos I have never had such strong feelings for anyone and my dad promised he would support me as well as relatives and family friends so it's not like I would have been an outcast..I know of a few other ppl who got married and both parents were totally against it and in all but one case they did a complete u-turn and everything has been resolved. They happily babysit their grandkids and their relationships with their kids have completely gone back to normal..
No offence, but a silly question, If he was a very good muslim good heart etc, Sorry but why wud ami and abbu have a problem?
Caste, race, wrong shade of brown, wrong job, parents have the wrong job etc.
Re: What would ammi abu say????
And those people, will go to Hell fire. :)
Re: What would ammi abu say????
well, if it were me, i wouldn't want to. for me parents really do come first. and hurting them would make me feel awful and guilty for the rest of my life. :)
Would you start a relationship with someone, if you know that your parents would not approve of you marrying them?
For example: Talking to someone who is from another race and lives in a different country?
Would you take the chance the see where it leads and hopefully convince your parents?
Would you not care what your parents think..its your life and your happiness.
Or would you just not bother to start anything?
Your thoughts people.....
No. I knew where my parents stood on certain things. Also I never even considered marrying a non-Pakistani, so it wasn't a problem for me.
Re: What would ammi abu say????
Sometimes you can't help circumstances and things happen, you develop an affection for someone and want a future together, even though you know the other person is 'different' from your own family in some ways. At that point you pray to Allah and try to convince your parents to agree to it. Sometimes it works out, other times it doesn't. Depends on how open minded your parents are, and you can't change what fate has in store for you.
However i'm not saying one should take the leap fully knowing the other person won't be accepted into the family.
Re: What would ammi abu say????
no i wouldn't. my parents have told me to choose my own partner but they have made it clear what kind of qualities they want in a future SIL and i agree with them 100%
Re: What would ammi abu say????
your parents will only give due consideration to your decisions when they trust that you will do the same for them.
Plus, sorting out the basics at the start of a relationship saves you a lot of hurt later on. If your parents or his parents deny your relationship later on, you guys will get hurt the most. So why not do things the right way and minimize risk of failure ...
Would you start a relationship with someone, if you know that your parents would not approve of you marrying them?
For example: Talking to someone who is from another race and lives in a different country?
NO.
Would you take the chance the see where it leads and hopefully convince your parents?
NO cuz i don't like to complicate things. It also depends on the kind of trust level you have with your parents. Like i know if my parents will disapprove of someone or some thing it will be for a good reason. So why would i want my bad?
Would you not care what your parents think..its your life and your happiness.
Ofcourse I Care cuz it's not my life only....My life and happiness is shared with my parents. Maybe some people need to be reminded that its their parents who give them birth=life but thanks to Allah i am very aware of it :-)
Or would you just not bother to start anything?
I am sure there are good people everywhere so why be hopeless?
Re: What would ammi abu say????
id never step out of the boundry tht has been drawn for me by my parents...i knw their mentality n found a guy according to their 3 basic needs 1.muslim,2.education,3.nice decnt guy from good family...i knew my criteria n followed it...i dunt like unecessary drama!
Re: What would ammi abu say????
thank you for your responses. I agree with everyone here, I have a friend that thinks otherwise...I hope the best for them.