What Were You Thinking???

[diamond321]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

@Muzna

so let me get this straight..... you came, you read and you posted your opinion:

usman0142 came along and took exception to your comments and expressed their own feelings. keep in mind that nowhere in this post did he/she say that you shouldn't think the way you do.....he/she simply suggested that the wife could have taken another approach. Paheli did the same.

out of the blue you came along and told these two to have tolerance and that not all people will agree. should't you be taking some of your own advice and believing that not everyone will agree with your own point of view?

usman0142 further clarified their position in a very reasonable way.....

Pink'd Out asked a valid question and you retorted with a flippant remark.....

Your frustration is very obvious in this message....and perhaps rightfully so.....but the root cause are not any of the members taking part in the discussion so isn't it a bit unfair to let loose on them?

I sympathize with your emotions......but isn't this a bit irrational? We are all simply having a discussion here. That's what we do. For all intents and purposes I could have posted the same thread with a disclaimer saying that this is a hypothetical situation.....would that have made you feel better about expressing your opinion?

Sorry that this has upset you so much.

No this hasn't upset me and this has got nothing to do with my emotions. But yes I have learned my lesson from this thread and the way it has been handled by you. I should not post my personal life in blogs any more who knows when it ends up getting posted here on Life1 for as a public learning tool.

Further , in any of my post including the 1st one I did not personally attacked anyone's opinions or posts I just said I would not judge her and just gave my point of view but Usman and Paheli "quoted" mine & since they were addressed to me I replied them back so this is what bothered you ?\

Pink'd Out way of asking question was not polite either so I just told her "meri marzi" yahan bhi mujh sey ghalti ho gayee .

and yes this could have been a hypothetical situation but it is not I just expressed my opinion that we should not discus someone's personal life over here (if without their consent) , we always say about one side of the story on Life1 thread but this one was third side of the story but this bothered you much again because you have brought someone's personal issue in public and now you don't want to hear that what you did was wrong. OK yahan bhi meri ghalti. Now spare me !

and please don't sympathise with me keep it with you , you can use it in your next thread on someone else's private matter.

[Muzna]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

@diamond321

No this hasn't upset me and this has got nothing to do with my emotions. But yes I have learned my lesson from this thread and the way it has been handled by you. I should not post my personal life in blogs any more who knows when it ends up getting posted here on Life1 for as a public learning tool.

Further , in any of my post including the 1st one I did not personally attacked anyone's opinions or posts I just said I would not judge her and just gave my point of view but Usman and Paheli "quoted" mine & since they were addressed to me I replied them back so this is what bothered you ?\

Pink'd Out way of asking question was not polite either so I just told her "meri marzi" yahan bhi mujh sey ghalti ho gayee .

and yes this could have been a hypothetical situation but it is not I just expressed my opinion that we should not discus someone's personal life over here (if without their consent) , we always say about one side of the story on Life1 thread but this one was third side of the story but this bothered you much again because you have brought someone's personal issue in public and now you don't want to hear that what you did was wrong. OK yahan bhi meri ghalti. Now spare me !

and please don't sympathise with me keep it with you , you can use it in your next thread on someone else's private matter.

well I'm glad that you aren't upset.
just one last question......since you are being so vehement about not discussing someone's private life without their consent.......why did you post your very first post then?

[Paheli00]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

@diamond321

usman0412 and Paheli- I can have any opinion about the situation I want . Please have some tolerance towards other people’s opinions. It is not necessary that people agree with your point of view.

The whole point of threads here is to discuss our opinions/thoughts on what’s posted. Yes, you posted your opinion about this situation. As a result, usman0412 and I gave our opinions to what you posted. Neither one of us attacked you, neither one of stated that we were right and you were wrong, neither one of us said that everyone needs to agree with our views. Our posts were simply a response to yours, and we both stated our thoughts in a respectful manner. Instead of sticking to the topic, you choose to respond in a very rude manner accusing both of us of not being “tolerant” of other people’s opinions.

In addition you chose to scold us on judging the couple…even though YOU yourself judged them! And when Pink’d pointed out your hypocritical post, once again you responded to her in a rude/dismissive manner.

I have no idea why you’re so defensive or feel that you were being attacked. Muzna only wrote how your posts came across. I don’t think she was rude to you either. Yet now you also have an issue with her. It started with Usman, and I…then pink’d…and now Muzna. So anyone who doesn’t agree with you is the “bad guy”.

For the record, yes you can have ANY opinion you want. When I quoted your post and shared my opinion, I didn’t have any agenda behind it (such as getting you to agree with me). My apologies if that’s the impression you got. If you’d prefer that people not quote your posts and post a different opinion as a response, you may want to consider simply putting that in your post so that people like usman and I (and maybe even pink’d and Muzna) don’t cause you so much trouble in the future.

[Muzna]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

@Paheli00

The whole point of threads here is to discuss our opinions/thoughts on what’s posted. Yes, you posted your opinion about this situation. As a result, usman0412 and I gave our opinions to what you posted. Neither one of us attacked you, neither one of stated that we were right and you were wrong, neither one of us said that everyone needs to agree with our views. Our posts were simply a response to yours, and we both stated our thoughts in a respectful manner. Instead of sticking to the topic, you choose to respond in a very rude manner accusing both of us of not being “tolerant” of other people’s opinions.

In addition you chose to scold us on judging the couple…even though YOU yourself judged them! And when Pink’d pointed out your hypocritical post, once again you responded to her in a rude/dismissive manner.

I have no idea why you’re so defensive or feel that you were being attacked. Muzna only wrote how your posts came across. I don’t think she was rude to you either. Yet now you also have an issue with her. It started with Usman, and I…then pink’d…and now Muzna. So anyone who doesn’t agree with you is the “bad guy”.

For the record, yes you can have ANY opinion you want. When I quoted your post and shared my opinion, I didn’t have any agenda behind it (such as getting you to agree with me). My apologies if that’s the impression you got. If you’d prefer that people not quote your posts and post a different opinion as a response, you may want to consider simply putting that in your post so that people like usman and I (and maybe even pink’d and Muzna) don’t cause you so much trouble in the future.

Thanks Paheli.
I didn’t think that I was rude either… at least not so much as to deserve the lashing and the allegations that were hurled at me in post #61. Heaven help me if I were to upset her.

[Paheli00]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

^ I’m actually quite baffled as to why the train got derailed so to say. I thought the “discussion” was coming along nicely. This certainly isn’t the most controversial thread on Life1 right now!

On a side note: The kids in your story are young (6 yr and a toddler). IF the situation ends up being that the dad wants the kids to live with the mom full-time, but wants to share custody/maintain visitation…then he’s not the jerk I thought he was initially. Actually, in this case, its actually is a good thing that he’s not going to make the divorce nasty by fighting for full physical custody (ie. he’s not attacking her parenting skills).

[queer]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

diamond321 does bring up a good point though - these are actual people with real lives. every tom, dick and jameela is dissing them based on hearsay, for entertainment value. isnt this just sugarcoated gossip?

[Muzna]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

@Paheli00

^ I’m actually quite baffled as to why the train got derailed so to say. I thought the “discussion” was coming along nicely. This certainly isn’t the most controversial thread on Life1 right now!

On a side note: The kids in your story are young (6 yr and a toddler). IF the situation ends up being that the dad wants the kids to live with the mom full-time, but wants to share custody/maintain visitation…then he’s not the jerk I thought he was initially. Actually, in this case, its actually is a good thing that he’s not going to make the divorce nasty by fighting for full physical custody (ie. he’s not attacking her parenting skills).

I have no idea why the discussion turned so hostile. Anyway…

I agree that it will keep the situation from getting nasty. Hopefully they sort things out for the better for all involved. I’m worried that there will still be obstacles in terms of financial settlements/support. He’s not the type to want to cough up for something that is not in his complete control. But Allah janay…maybe some sense will prevail.

[Muzna]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

diamond321 does bring up a good point though - these are actual people with real lives. every tom, dick and jameela is dissing them based on hearsay, for entertainment value. isnt this just sugarcoated gossip?

It would be sugar coated gossip for the purpose of entertainment if that's the way it was being addressed.
fortunately save for the limited one or two....in fact I think I only noticed two......the rest don't seem to be making light of the matter at all.

[Southie]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

@Hulahoop_Queen

All is fair in love and war?

Naah, if anything, be fair in love and war.

Have not heard this spin-off. A gem!

[ShahreyarKhan]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

My question is why are you discussing them, either you are involved or it is mere curiosity to discuss OR just to create a new topic ...

[Afshi]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

diamond321 does bring up a good point though - these are actual people with real lives. every tom, dick and jameela is dissing them based on hearsay, for entertainment value. isnt this just sugarcoated gossip?

Oh the things people do in Ramadan when they can't eat.

Can't fill their stomachs with food, might as well fill it with other people's business.

[khattichic]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

I don’t think it’s very fair to come down on Muzna or anyone else for starting this thread and insinuating gossip…isn’t that what we ALL do in life1 on a daily basis anyway…comment on life situations, regardless if they are real, made up, hypothetical, or whatever? I mean seriously, why all this bitterness?

And playing the Ramadan card, that is a low blow IMO. No offense meant to anyone, but casting doubt or shame on someone else’s roza is the same equivalent as gossiping or saying someone is filling their stomach with gossip.

Why can’t we all just get along?

[Hinna]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

blah blah

[hareem01]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

How is it gossip? People and their holier than thou attitude!

[Hinna]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

blah blah...

[Mehnaz]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

I wonder how many other threads will generate the same response?

It is incredibly disappointing and sad when I see people commenting for the sole purpose of putting someone else down due to their own grievances.

At least Diamond contributed to the thread with her thoughts and opinions.

[hareem01]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

I never said I was better than you or anyone else. In fact, I'm sure the lot of you are better than me (I'm being very serious when I say this).

As for it being gossip- the family that is involved isn't here talking about their issues and has come through a third party, therefore it is gossip. If they were here posting and seeking advice, that would be another story. Anyhow, if you take offense to what I've written, ignore it. :)

Muzna never mentioned any names nor she took rejoice in their trouble so how does this qualify it being a gossip?

[Muzna]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

@Hinna

As for it being gossip- the family that is involved isn’t here talking about their issues and has come through a third party, therefore it is gossip.

yeah…remind me to use this reasoning the next time the imam at our local mosque gives us examples of families struggling with social issues. I’ll tell him that he’s gossiping and not bringing forth a serious concern that we could learn from…

[Hinna]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

Muzna never mentioned any names nor she took rejoice in their trouble so how does this qualify it being a gossip?

Ignore what I said. I'm getting out of this post because it isn't worth the time...

[khattichic]

Re: What Were You Thinking???

^ (meant for muzna’s post)

Hinna, naraz mat ho…we’re all here to learn from one another