What to tell the littles

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Re: What to tell the littles

**Hareem01: **Your kids are home schooled? Then I would be really worried because home schooled kids are only LIMITED to their parents perspectives. Home schooling does not allow one to grow in a society because parents are only concentrating and allowing limited resource.

I am glad that few weeks ago - USA declared home schooling to be illegal.

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Re: What to tell the littles

Kids who are pampered and taught such silly stuff (praying gets u babies) eventually go on to become the laughing stock amongst their peers, seriously, especially the ones that think their parents cannot tell lies.

Remember the Water Boy, when Col/Prof Sanders and his class laughs when Bobby Boucher goes: My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

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Re: What to tell the littles

Hareem, why do you bring the topic of homeschooling in many of kids topic.. no one is dissing it till u start defending it with your life ... !

64

To answer your questions.....

If my son had received a satisfactory answer to his question from me, then yes he likely would not have persued the conversation with his friend. And if his friend gave him the info anyway, he would still have had a proper answer from me FIRST.

Yes my son is well behaved and a lovely, caring person. "letting" him "get that info" consisted of allowing him to play with another very well-behaved and decent boy from a lovely family. This family just beleives that they should completely answer the questions that their son asks. He is a very smart boy so I guess they felt that he was ready to hear a bit about biology. Not the choice that I'd make but every parent is different. The reason I was shocked is that it was completely and totally unexpected for my son to come out with that particular version of the birth process.

I am neither proud of him nor ashamed of him. I like the fact that he seeks answers until he is satisfied, it shows a natural curiosity about the world and thats a wonderful thing.

The au-pair did not tell my son. She told the boy that she watches. The boy's parents approved, they want their son to have as much knowledge as they think he can handle. It was the boy who told my son about it because MY son did not have the answer....so back to what I said before....I should have answered better right from the start. THATs the big deal, it was a learning experience for me.

65

And how many homeschooled families and kids you know personally? I'm sure none.
And no they couldn't make it illegal because of large community of homeschoolers and their efforts.

We (me and my husband) prayed to God and He gave us babies so you see it's not a lie. And probably your parents did the same for you.

As long as it's not out of context and off topic there's no reason why i shouldn't be talking about parent led education.

66

lol!

I think in many cases when parents tell the stork stories (all all the others like Santa claus etc etc), the kids know the real truth anyway. They also know that their parents are keeping the real truth from them. Depending on the reason for the untruths, this can cause a huge break in trust between parent and child. Then the child will cease to seek answers from parent and seek their answers anywhere and everywhere else.

At age 6, my son is very smart. He KNOWS that there isnt really a santa but he loves the thought of it all and it brings him much happiness. He KNOWS that when I told him that its too complicated for me to tell him about how babies are born that there MUST be a better answer than that. He was right of course.

Homeschooled or not, kids are smarter than their parents think. They will also seek answers to their questions until they're satisfied. And they will get info from more people and places than you could ever imagine.

You can only shelter them so much before it becomes a developmental issue.

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Have you ever told him that Allah is the one who gives babies to people? I'm not talking about santa or stork....please answer from an islamic perspective, if you have one.

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Re: What to tell the littles

...a question for you Hareem. So your very smart little one asks you about babies. And you give the answer that babies come from God. But your child sees the huge belly....and wonders how the heck does the baby get out? So you tell the child that the doc takes it out in the hospital....child wonders how does that all work? If they slice the mom open wont it hurt the baby?

If a child is smart enough to wonder about these questions then the child is smart enough to receive a better answer yeah? Not that I'm saying to get into all the details but to give them enough that their curiousity is satisfied.

And ps, yes God/Allah is the one who grants babies to parents. BUT this whole thing was not about where babies come from, it as about how does the baby get out?

69

I know a family friend that strictly wanted homeschooling. I learned that homeschooling was banned from that FAMILY.

At this time, I am not able to find the email this family had sent. It had the article that talked about homeschooling and why they wanted to make it illegal. The mail was sent early this year - so I might have deleted it. Bummer! :(

Personally, I am glad that this family will not be doing homeschooling any more.

The views of the father are very strict towards his wife - what she wears, what she does, whom to visit, how long to crack a smile - etc. These are not healthy things and it comes as if he is IMPOSING these rules and restricting his wife and kids - to WHAT HE WANTS ONLY. That was PART of home schooling for them - at least from the "outside" that's all "WE" could see.

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Re: What to tell the littles

Peace Mamaof3

If it is possible to give TOO much knowledge then it must mean that it is correct to say that anything other than ENOUGH knowledge is wrong
and if something is wrong in this context it must be unethical. However, what I believe Hareem01 is implying is that those people
who depart too much knowledge to children are either being actively improper or at least are being ethically myopic.
Which therefore follows that being a religious leader and/or school board PTA rep does not necessarily mean that best interests for children
have necessarily been effectively evaluated even though the intents may be of highest calibre.
Also, parents are bound by a greater sacred responsibility to give tarbiyya to their children which extends beyond their conduct with people
what they WISH for their children is irrespective and a mute point because they should consult what they "wish for their children" to be in
accordance with their requirements as parents from a moral and religious perspective first.
With homeschooler parents it is their implied mission to converse with one another first and align mindset and share ideas about education.
This topic does turn up and parents who wish their children to be exposed to a certain type of child based on the conversation they have with
the parents of that child.
It is true that children of every type do get some "street knowledge" but that is why we should be wise to this and that is our role as parents.
Not necessarily to depart information but also to teach them how to distinguish between precious information and harmful information.
We should teach our children about chastity and honour and diligence and then teach them to be open with us so if they are confused they
can share that with us. We need to let them know that others will tell them things that are slightly different from what we have said and
the reasons are because we want them to be safe and protected. We should teach them how to seek protection from Shaitan. We should tell them that
if anyone talks about the parts of the body that we cover up then that is rude and they should walk away and let us know. We can explain to them
by saying "the reason why we cover them up is so we cannot see them, the reason why we don't talk about them is so our minds can't see them".
The climate we live in today is a noxious concoction of increasing immorality coupled with increasing knowledge. What our Brave New people are failing to
realise is that 'great knowledge comes with great responsibility'. Though we cannot eliminate harm we can indeed mitigate its effects. We can defer,
we can protect, we can remove the harm and we can employ disturbance handlers if infection does take place and to be precise "street knowledge", as
you call it, is and should be viewed as an infection.
For those children who are exposed to it are infected and those who are infected expose it others. Us in our attempts to burden children with
more knowledge do so without considering that children are not equipped with the tools that will permit them to be responsible with that knowledge
so they will inevitably infect others even if indeed they have not been infected themselves. So by not teaching the children you leave them to the devices
of the playground society, but by teaching them at such tender irresponsible ages you create the grounds for the poisoning of knowledge and it
gets transmitted in toxic forms to their peers. If they are not receiving "street knowledge" they most certainly will be the ones instigating
that "street knowledge".
And the full picture is not about seeking the information, it is about providing the information. Children are more likely to impose their new knowledge
to children rather than ask one another for answers to their questions. So if you had answered the questions to his satisfaction then it would be him
telling other children about it in a way and manner that is beyond his control, then he would feed back from what he has departed and the same effects
would set in. It is a grave misnoma to assume that information given in any particular order or sequence is what amounts to the way that information
is stored. Rather such information will go around and fester and the children will feed off each other, trying to out do one another with special
knowledge.
Religious values teach us to curb our curiosities and indulge in topics that are of our concern only and to speak out against improper behaviour
and walk away from danger of all types and purify our hearts, bodies and minds in the case of infection. These tools can be taught to children too.
There is no reason why a child won't just walk away after hearing the beginning of 'wrong talk' provided the child has been given this value.
Some topics are taboos and they are taboos for good reason. Children cannot handle the data of sex it will only make matters worse by teaching them with
more depth or with more clinical accuracy or with "street knowledge" so the best thing to do is keep them away from it as much as possible and if they do get informationally sick ... treat them.

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But then 50% babies do come out of bellies by cutting the belly out.
Now if your kid has found out about the word Vigina, would you tell him not to say this word in front of others?

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Yeah well it doesn't mean anyone who wants to educate their kids is like your family friend, we should be implying those rules which are prescribed by our religion and traditions of our ethical forefathers instead of implying what we want or what the Government want.

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...and thats yet another question that kids wonder about yeah? If you had a very smart and curious child, how would you answer to their satisfaction all of these questions? To the degree that they accept your answers and not seek out the answers elsewhere?

and yes, in addition to teaching my children about God/Allah, I DO teach them to use their knowledge in a responsible fashion. I also teach them that every person is different. That does not make them better or worse, just different. One of the worst traits a parent can impart to a child is to be judgemental and arrogant to others who are simply different. ;)

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lolz, psyah has already talked about it above so I won't repeat it.

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Re: What to tell the littles

So ... I take that to mean that you would simply keep your children away from the subject and not answer their questions about it at all?

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I am aware that everyone has their own ways of home schooling. However, you questioned me whether I knew anyone who did homeschooling - so to answer you - YES.

I simply cannot support your perspectives on this one. The answer is simple - our forefathers have NEVER been perfect in what they did. They have made mistakes just like you and I can.

The most important thing for YOU to learn in this is - our forefathers were simply going with THEIR TIME. Times have CHANGED and you cannot follow their foot steps. Along with time, the newer generation SEEMS PRE-POGRAMMED and are SMART to begin with since early childhood. They are well AWARE of their surroundings.

In our forefathers time - a 10 year old would still be running around with runny nose and not even care to wipe it off - yea? That was our forefathers time.

Today a 3 yrs old kid is well aware of his own body and surroundings. At 10 they have leaped far out and beyond than any of the kids from our forefather's generation.

So stop going into the past. Move forward with time.

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wow, this lecture is enough for any homeschooler to quit teaching their kid and send them to a state school.....lolz
When i said traditions of our forefathers i meant people like Imam Ghazali, imam Qurtibi, Imam muhasibi, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Jonathan Swift, Robert Frost, R L Stevenson and others.

Sure, kids today don't have enough time to read all these "non sense" they're too busy in their play station and gadgets.

few months ago, A 16 year old girl (very bright in her school) heard the name "Beatrix Potter" for the first time in her life from a 4 years old [classical homeschooled boy] and she told me was she a female rabbit? (this is no joke)

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No its you who come here and tell that the trouble with our kids is that we dont do homeschooling ... the topic was of different natur till u turned it around.

FYI in the country where i am living home schooling is only allowed for certain conditions otherwise its not allowed.

So stop making it a versus topic .. if u want u can allways start a new topic on it.

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I think the whole homeschooling issue was discussed and furiated over a while back....consensus being that for some kids its a great option and for others its a poor one. If the parents are dedicated to the program, if they make the effort to "socialize" their kids and give them lots of opportunities to be with other kids then it CAN be a great option. When the parents are closed-minded or judgemental or superior, this gets passed on to their kids and makes them poorly able to interact in adult society. Off topic though....

so hareem, I'm curious about your answer?

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Re: What to tell the littles

I am against home schooling. It hinders a child's development. The child's interaction is very limited and the child does not go out into society and learn interpersonal communication skills. At a school the child learns independence from his/her parents and also too much attachment to the parents is not good for the children. Has no one heard about the electra and oedipus complex. At school the child learns how to interact with other children and make friends. In schools in Pakistan etc the children are together until grade 6 and then they are separated and this has been going on from a long time and those shareef kids are still shareef. The way a child turns out does not only depend on the company the child keeps but also the parents/environment.