No its you who come here and tell that the trouble with our kids is that we dont do homeschooling ... the topic was of different natur till u turned it around.
FYI in the country where i am living home schooling is only allowed for certain conditions otherwise its not allowed.
So stop making it a versus topic .. if u want u can allways start a new topic on it.
I didn't tell anyone directly to homeschool their kid though i think it's the best option that's there.
in mamaof3's son's case, he didn't get the info from his school or the parent but from someone else, so really i'm not blaming schools here as i usually do.
I think the whole homeschooling issue was discussed and furiated over a while back....consensus being that for some kids its a great option and for others its a poor one. If the parents are dedicated to the program, if they make the effort to "socialize" their kids and give them lots of opportunities to be with other kids then it CAN be a great option. When the parents are closed-minded or judgemental or superior, this gets passed on to their kids and makes them poorly able to interact in adult society. Off topic though....
so hareem, I'm curious about your answer?
as i said before i'll answer them according to their age. But if you meant like Sex Ed as a subject in schools then no.
I am against home schooling. It hinders a child's development. The child's interaction is very limited and the child does not go out into society and learn interpersonal communication skills. At a school the child learns independence from his/her parents and also too much attachment to the parents is not good for the children. Has no one heard about the electra and oedipus complex. At school the child learns how to interact with other children and make friends. In schools in Pakistan etc the children are together until grade 6 and then they are separated and this has been going on from a long time and those shareef kids are still shareef. The way a child turns out does not only depend on the company the child keeps but also the parents/environment.
It's not true.
And what Electra has to do with this thread?
On what basis are you saying it is not true? Do you have a counter argument to my statements? Let's hear it. As for electra complex, it was a general statement made along with the oedipus complex and both are complexes suggested by Dr. Freud.
Hareem, I'm still looking forward to your response! :)
But I'll make some assumptions here and lets do a little projecting. OK, so you avoid topics like how does the baby get out, you avoid questions about sex, you try to squash any curiousity about the opposite gender and focus on academics. You allow your kids to socialize only with other carefully screened home-schooled kids. They turn out to be so very smart that they perhaps receive full scholarship to whatever university they choose....
Do you accompany them to college and live with them in the dorm and continue to shield them? Will you worry when, all of a sudden they find themselves interacting with the opposite sex, when classmates go out clubbing, smoking, drinking, having sex and smoking pot? A kid entering college has raging hormones, lots of curiosity and lots of energy. And a big problem with sheltered kids is the sudden surge of freedom. One day you will have to let them go out into the world, like it or not. Will they be equipped to handle it all or will they feel like they are at last breaking free? If you're starting out by limiting their contact with others and their curiosity and not answering their questions to their satisfaction then IMHO it will come back to haunt you.
On what basis are you saying it is not true? Do you have a counter argument to my statements? Let's hear it. As for electra complex, it was a general statement made along with the oedipus complex and both are complexes suggested by Dr. Freud.
In the UK surveys show that homeschooled children are better at socializing and they have better results than others.
They are so many examples of famous homeschooled people from the past and the present. Just google it and you'll find the list.
Again, what Freud and his theories has to do with this thread?
This was such a happy, cute little thread before we turned off topic and made it about homeschooling. Didnt we have a thread about specifically about that not too long ago?
ANd Hareem i am not sure what you are trying to say here? That people who send their kids to schools versus homeschooling them are bad, unethical parents?
ANd Hareem i am not sure what you are trying to say here? That people who send their kids to schools versus homeschooling them are bad, unethical parents?
I think this has deteriorated into home vs. public schooling for exactly that reason...I think Hareem is of the opinion that public school kids are generally bad and thats the reason for my son's lesson in biology. Its kinda related to the topic as misguided as it seems to me :)
Hareem, I'm still looking forward to your response! :)
But I'll make some assumptions here and lets do a little projecting. OK, so you avoid topics like how does the baby get out, you avoid questions about sex, you try to squash any curiousity about the opposite gender and focus on academics. You allow your kids to socialize only with other carefully screened home-schooled kids. They turn out to be so very smart that they perhaps receive full scholarship to whatever university they choose....
Do you accompany them to college and live with them in the dorm and continue to shield them? Will you worry when, all of a sudden they find themselves interacting with the opposite sex, when classmates go out clubbing, smoking, drinking, having sex and smoking pot? A kid entering college has raging hormones, lots of curiosity and lots of energy. And a big problem with sheltered kids is the sudden surge of freedom. One day you will have to let them go out into the world, like it or not. Will they be equipped to handle it all or will they feel like they are at last breaking free? If you're starting out by limiting their contact with others and their curiosity and not answering their questions to their satisfaction then IMHO it will come back to haunt you.
First of all my main goal is to make them ethical and free thinking human beings rather than a genious so everything they learn has moral values attatched to it.
I don't want them to separate from females as it is HIGHLY dangerous for their sexuality as I don't want them to be homos. Also on the other hand I want them to percieve female as princesses and they should respect them and they should not see them as just a sexual object.
The religious and ethical values will be instilled in them and when they go to college or anywhere in the world they'll be wise enough to choose the right path themselves inshaAllah.
And I agree humans are curious but do you really think that their curiousity can be satisfied with only answers?
One explicit answer will give birth to dozens of other questions.
ANd Hareem i am not sure what you are trying to say here? That people who send their kids to schools versus homeschooling them are bad, unethical parents?
This was such a happy, cute little thread before we turned off topic and made it about homeschooling. Didnt we have a thread about specifically about that not too long ago?
Oh now it's all sad and boring and this is because of homeschooling.
I'm off Ladies, I've got better things to do than to argue for the sake of arguing. See ya.
hareem what made it sad and boring was the off topic-ness and the vibe that homeschooled kids somehow are better than kids who go to schools. Lets hope i am not starting another discussion on , yes they really are better! For me its all about to each their own.
I agree Ira....Hareem may not have meant to project that attitude but it showed clearly (to me anyway). Like the whole thing would NEVER have happened to HER kids lol! But when you have a parent with this kind of superior and seclusionist attitude, it can be a recipe for disaster when those kids grow up. Not to say that Hareem is like that in "real" life but it seems that way here. Hareem, you are seriously mistaken if you think that this could never happen with your kids or that if you supply insufficient answers that your kids would never seek out the answers elsewhere. They WILL seek and they WILL find no matter how carefully you seclude them.
Hareem, (just in case you happen to return here) ... you said "And I agree humans are curious but do you really think that their curiousity can be satisfied with only answers?"
My answer is yes - absolutely. Again, if I had supplied my son with some kind of extremely simplified answer and he was satisfied with it, he would not have persued the topic with his friend. Answers to questions are of paramount importance to growing minds, and a simple age appropriate explanation of the birth process will not turn a child into a sex maniac. That goes also for my son's knowledge of the word "vagina"....ok so he knows that word. He has no sexual connotation assigned to that word and although he got a bit too much education, he is not ruined or turned into a sex fiend over it all.
You said also "One explicit answer will give birth to dozens of other questions." My answer? You be as explicit as is age-appropriate. Of course, it may (and in many cases should) spawn dozens of other questions. For which answers should also be supplied in an age-appropriate yet satisfying way. THATS the best way to learn!
Sheltering your kids in such a fashion I dont see as a good thing. How do THEY feel about it? That is your best indicator here. Do they love the whole idea of homeschooling or do they beg you to let them go to "real" school? Want to be with the other "regular" kids? If thats what you deal with, then you could be in for big issues later on.
...i think now you should discourage your kid about this..ofcourse in good way .(im sure his upbringing willbe amazing, because you seem an amazing mom):)
Our some desi parents try to be very liberal...i mean they should take great care of this in foregin countries..like making their kids know what is right what is wrong, haal haram etc.
Part of the reason why homeschooling is mentioned in this thread is because the topic is about educating our children. It is true that society will have its own agenda to that education. Homeschooling simply puts more of it in our hands. i.e. makes us more responsible. Some homeschooled children are not schooled at all, some are no better, some are worse, it is all to do with the ones providing the stimulus.
The question is what would we say ... well we would conform to our prudent and shy customs and we would not allow taboos to be removed, because by doing so the sacred nature of this topic begins to disintegrate. If society wants to do this in its Brave New World then so be it, but we would like to be anchors to slow this process down as much as we can at least for our own children. It is not a matter of whose child is more clever or not it is truly a funny thing that those who support giving the answers to children also draw a line somewhere. We just draw the same line a bit earlier. So there is not real difference. Some of us conform to our society and some want it to conform back to the ideal society. We can do this only by challenging the status quo with wisdom and asking questions like:
Is it really important for my child to learn about this yet?
If he/she finds out what could be the result?
Will he/she be mature and responsible about this?
Can I afford to trust my child with such a weighty knowledge?
...i think now you should discourage your kid about this..ofcourse in good way .(im sure his upbringing willbe amazing, because you seem an amazing mom):)
Why Thank You Sameenji!
Actually, there is no need for me to discourage here. Once my son got his answer, he was satisfied. We had a long chat about the whole thing, he understands the responsibility of his newly acquired knowledge and he promptly forgot about the whole thing because now its no big deal and theres other "cool" stuff to learn about (his current passion is how does an engine make the car go fast?). lol! kids are just amazing yeah?
i read this book to a group of 4 and 5 yr old children one time, on how we have babies(was soo funny) the book was the children's age group, but i personally dont think they need to know that kinda stuff until later, let kids be kids...... unless ofcourse they ask you questions which you should then answer honestly....
mamaof3, loooks like u have a cute little boy :) hehe..
i know kids GET to know WHAT they want to know, no matter what parents do... n ofcourse, kids are just so curious :) cute little babies... but let kids be kids :)
i used to believe babies r dropped by storks n i believed it for quite a long time, i guess i was in 10th level when i got to know the reality :S hehe man i can be sooooo stupid at times :")