Re: What should I do?
How did your party go BusyBee? Any word from your MIL?
Thanks for checking up on me everyone. Yes, I threw the "party" on the 11th. I'm sure MIL found out from my BIL who was here. He didn't even stay at home that day, despite me and hubby telling him to. He said "I wouldn't like to attend anything where ammi is not present".....that's BS right there bcoz I know how he talks to his mom and how much "fun" he has w/o her. I'm sure MIL told him to do all this when he might have told her about the party still being on. MIL hasn't talked to me since she left and with hubby she's talking just Salam-dua. She's coming back on Sunday, I'll wait till then to see all the drama she'll cause!
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^ Don't worry about the BIL. Did you and your hubby have fun with your friends? Did you get to play "hostess" the way you wanted to?
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Thanks for checking up on me everyone. Yes, I threw the "party" on the 11th. I'm sure MIL found out from my BIL who was here. He didn't even stay at home that day, despite me and hubby telling him to. He said "I wouldn't like to attend anything where ammi is not present".....that's BS right there bcoz I know how he talks to his mom and how much "fun" he has w/o her. I'm sure MIL told him to do all this when he might have told her about the party still being on. MIL hasn't talked to me since she left and with hubby she's talking just Salam-dua. She's coming back on Sunday, I'll wait till then to see all the drama she'll cause!
Who cares about him. Did you enjoy it? And did you need to cancel a cancellation for it?
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Woohoo good for you. Good luck for when the drama starts tho. I wish you all the best. xxx
What should I do?
Please prepare yourself mentally to stand your ground. Your MIL might resort really low to teach you a lesson, and get you back in line.
But please dont just sit there and take it. If its verbal abuse, leave the room as soon as it starts, if its threats, or gets physical, call the police. ( get it all recorded for evidence- for the police and public. )
Demand your husband to stand by you. Give him an ultimatum; Its his responsibility to protect you from abuse, and if he cant even afford you that, then you need to take stock and leave the spineless numpty! go to your parents, and if you do return, do so on your own terms and conditions.
Otherwise; move on asap...You have nothing to lose in this relationship... except your sanity!
Putting up with this kind of behaviour for so long is not an act of bravery, its not smart at all!!
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But why did you invite your BIL…
Anyway good luck for Sunday 
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To aab kya hua BB?? I'm really curious! I hope you are alright and I hope you are content that you still had a party because no one deserves to b treated like this! as long as you are not intentionally hurting anyone and have your husbands support I hope you werent made to regret throwing that get together. Please do fill us in. :)
Your BIL sounds like a baby. Choro. If he can't do without Ammi so severely to the point that he can't go anywhere without, why isn't she living WITH him??
Ps. Peony, I like you and your thinking. :)
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**So Busybee, if you really did not give a hoot about your MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL. It's a given, they are a family of A$$3s. They have treated you like trash for 6 years. Instead of focusing on them, start to care for yourself. From what you have mentioned in various different posts, your don't seem to get what you need in order to flourish. You may not have the best health. Just live for yourself. You can slowly work on banishing these blood and money sucking leaches out of your house. It will take years but you will surely achieve it. :)
great advice
**
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From my understanding of her other posts, the BIL also lives with them. So he would be there anyway, but chose to leave because of his mom.
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BusyBee,
So glad you threw your party! Isn't it so much fun to throw a party especially in honor of someone you really care about and show them how much you care about them?
So what if BIL is a Mama's boy and is a sour puss. MIL's silent treatment is a blessing. Lots of people have told you not to put up with these people's crap but it seems like you don't know what that means and how to put a protective barrier between yourself and them. I avoid poisonous people, I don't even want to be in their presence. But if I have to be at the same event, I sit as far away from them and do not talk to them other than the obligatory 45 second small talk salaam, how r u, etc. And I refuse to hug them. The less contact you have with poisonous people, the better it is for you. The more you can surround yourself with positive people and those who are good people, the better it is for you.
I'm gonna let you in a little something... These people seem to use religion to control you and run over you, well get acquainted with Islam and use the points to obtain justice in your life. Madz posted 10 points of marriage advice Imam Ahmad gave his son when the son was getting maried. Review those and committ them to memory and also share with Darling Hubby. Imam Ahmad said that a house is a woman's domain, her palace therefore let the woman run is as however she wishes it. Meaning whatever she wants to do goes, as long as it isn't against Islam. He also said that in a extended family living situation, a woman must be guarenteed her privacy meaning that she needs to have her own space/quarters (bedroom, livingroom, kitchen, and bathroom) and that the safety of her belongings needs to be assured. From what you said, that doesn't seem to be in your case.
A 47 year old woman should not become a tyranical burden on her daughter-in-law. When I was in school, one of the PhD students was a 42 year old woman who had just had a baby. At 47, this woman had a 5 year old and thought of herself as young and ran marathons. No one was serving her hand and foot, in fact she was the one serving the kid.
They already have a home of their own. You and DH need to become strong and send them back to their own house, it starts with not serving them hand and foot (you're not their servant). You have to take a stand for yourself. If Darling Husband cannot/will not protect you, you have to protect yourself (both physically and mentally). Our lives are too short, to stand cruelty. What if you pass away next week, wouldn't such a life as these past 6 years be a shame? To suffer so much for what?
No one can harm you if you beseach God for his assistance and protection. Look within for your strength.
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Thanks for the virtual support you all! The party's on the 11th but MIL doesnt get back till the 19th. So wait till the 20th lol. Even if she finds out before coming I know she won't say a word to me or hubby over the phone. She'll wait till she's physically here. She's leaving from here on the 3rd so stuff might happen before then :( but I really hope nothing happens iA!
She comes back (or perhaps already came back) today. I wish you well and hope you stand your ground.
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I used to think that standing your ground meant taking a strong stance on something which may include some unpleasant and harsh tones and perhaps at the very least tense air. I have learned that standing your ground does not mean deviating from a path of love or to acquiesce. Accept all things, exude love, but above all else make sure your needs are your number one priority. Don't focus on what others are getting, focus on getting what you need.
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UPDATE (a major one at that!) : MIL arrived on the evening on 19th. I had made haleem, kababs, korma, biryani, nihari, karahi chicken and a meetha for her and FIL. I had to prepare from the day before and she knew it. She came, we said salam, and they both went straight to their room. The BIGGER update is that on the morning of 18th I found out I'm PREGNANT. Hubby told me that we'll break the news over dinner when they come, since they were gonna come the next day. But, she went straight to her room. FIL said he was too tired and will just drink juice. Two hours later, he comes out and asks khaana hai? They knew I cooked but he still asked like acting all innocent. MIL however didn't come out. Hubby went to bring her out saying please eat, and that I made all her favorite things. NOPE, she didn't move out of her bed. He didn't tell her about me being pregnant either, knowing her mood. We all went to sleep. In the morning, MIL woke up and started making her own breakfast (which she never does!) and I came in and said let me do it. She pushed me with her arm and said "main kisi ki mohtaaj nahi hun". I left. She made the breakfast just for herself not FIL and while she was eating, I was making breakfast for the rest of the family and hubby told her THE NEWS. She DID NOT even smile or anything and JUST said "acchi baat hai" like in a sad tone kinda....no mubarak, no nothing! I came in to serve breakfast to the rest of them and she said nothing to me, not even a word or smile!
Hubby left to work and she came up to me and started saying stuff like "abb aulaad hogi na tumhari toh pata chalega. Kabhi khush nahi rahogi dekhna tum" and I was like why are you saying that. And she started saying stuff like how I had the dawat and now I should do the aqeeqa without them too. She kept saying so much stuff and I was feeling too sick to even listen so I just left to my room saying "Ammi I'm sorry meri tabyat theek nahi hai".....and she came after me saying "ab to aur nakhre barh jayengen tumhare".......like wth? What did I ever do to this lady except serving her day and night!
She keeps taunting me with random taunts since she came about my pregnancy and other stuff, all throughout the day. Once, she even said "bas hamare jaane ki dair thi aur pregnant hogayi"....wth, like it was in our hands, we'd been trying for over 3 yrs! She doesn't say much in front of hubby anymore. I told hubby and he's like he'll send them to Pakistan for a little bit. My parents were already booked for going to Pakistan and I can't go to them either. Mom told me that she'll cancel but I don't want her to as they're going for a wedding. Let's see what happens. But yeah, please please please pray for me!
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BTW, Hubby told MIL and FIL both at the same time. FIL just said "kab pata chala" and hubby said yesterday and FIL's like "accha". That was it! No sign of happiness from them at all! I'm sure they told SIL and BILS too but no one even called hubby to congratulate, let alone me. And here I thought, they'll change a bit with this news! SMH!
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Congratulations! 
And please stop being naive. Your in-laws are never going to change. Take advantage of your hubby’s offer to send them to Pakistan for a bit so you can be stay focused on the little one and not have to deal with all the stress/negativity during your pregnancy.
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Don't worry BB...it's a blessing...you need to think of yourself and your baby now. If they have to change then they will come around, if they don't well atleast your husband now knows that their parents will hold a grudge over a mere dawat and not even celebrate this news. Don't even mull over what she is saying. Just hear it and forget it. Will be praying for you. All the best.
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Well, you did you part (and more) so there's no blame on you. You cooked, they chose not to eat--I hope you at least enjoyed the food yourself. Why can't you go see your parents? Because of MIL's taunting? So what would be different if you didn't go see them? Another thing that might help is don't keep any expectations from them, that way there's no disappointment.
Oh, and congrats.
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Congratulations BB, I'm really happy for you. May Allah bless you with a healthy and happy child.
Ignore your MIL, and continue to take small steps and stand up to her!!
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Congratulations on the amazing news! 
This is wonderful for you guys! I just hope and pray that you realize how important it is to keep your sanity now more than ever before. Ignore her taunting, ignore her entirely because its not good for you to get frustrated over these saas-bahu issues. Leave her to her own devices…she is an adult and can take care of herself. She will be fine. You just wait and see.