Re: What should I do?
Do not go to your mom's place. Everyone is emotional - including yourself. If you leave now while he's angry - he will divorce you. You put it into his mind that you don't want to live there, that's good. Its progress. Next time, lock your door during a nap. And please stop being naïve about things - get a backbone already.
Re: What should I do?
:( :( :( :(
You know what you have to do, Busy Bee.
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That's right! Make pizza for lunch tomorrow. Then everyvun will be heppy sheppy.
Re: What should I do?
If I were you, I would pretty much lock myself in the room with fruits, water, and snack. If husband asks, simply say I was not feeling well and doctor has strictly advised bed rest. No complain, no crying, nothing... If he argues tell him next time when we r at doctors we can discuss with her this situation and get advise.
Re: What should I do?
In all my time on GS, I can’t recall a worse in-laws situation. I am scared to get the merried now. :no:
What if my mil shows me her elbow, and then I show my husband the light, and then MIL shows me her finger, and then husband shows me the door. 
That would suck! 
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i am so so happy that you stuck up for yourself! mA. Stay strong.
Like others have said, stock your room with fruits, biscuits, water, bread, cheese, jam, juice poppers and LOCK yourself for the entire day... your evil MIL is get physically abusive and thats scaring me... i cannot imagine how you feel :(
bedrest means bedrest, i really pray your husband at the very least understands and supports you in this matter?
Again, so happy to read that you did not give into your MIL's pressure to do housework. May all of her evil plans fail miserably Ameen!
Re: What should I do?
I would suggest you should go to our parents house and spend at least the first trimester there. In high risk pregnancy just bedrest is not enough you need a relax mind and a healthy diet. I pray you have a safe pregnancy iA. Your mil is so evil I so badly want to slap her lol. Next time if she tries to elbowing you (God forbid) make a huge drama she seems like laaton kay bhoot batoon say nahi mantay. she really needs a reality check ugh. Well I think your husband is behaving immaturely. Ignore him, mil everyone anf go to your parents place for the sake of your unborn baby. Dont worry about divorce
Re: What should I do?
Dont worry about divorce and have faith in Allah haad hoti hay har cheez ki.
Re: What should I do?
When u said u were going to ur parents's maybe ur hubby took that as "naraz ho k". Tell him u r going to spend a couple of weeks and then come back because u rnt able to relax here. Sugar coat ur words with hubby just so he agrees. Since hubby is changing too u need to be cautious and selfish for this baby even if that means sugar coating combos with hubby.
What should I do?
What does your husband do that he is able afford two mortgages, property taxes, and insurance in two different states, with one house not even occupied a majority of the time?!? I’ve always wondered that when I see these threads in life 1 where posters tell about how their husbands pay for the living expenses of two different households 
It’s obvious your MIL is not going to budge…sell or rent out their place…use the money towards hiring a maid or house help for yourself…
And if you don’t mind me asking, what is the condition that is causing your pregnancy to e high risk? I’ve had two high risk pregnancies myself, the second one resulting in strict and complete bed rest for 8 weeks, and I still delivered prematurely…so if it is that serious, bhaar main jai tumhara ghar ka drama, your health and baby come first…emotional stress is not good at this time, especially in the first trimester…take matters into your hands and do what you need to do for the sake of your child. And if that means your husband “siding” with your MIL and cutting you off, well then there is your answer…is he really worth it then?!
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Hahahaha these MILs.
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omg your mil elbowed you??? what the hell, what a complete and utter jaahil aurat.i am sorry to say or actually i am not but she is a complete moron and call me crazy but do not let her touch you the next time.what is this?? the 15th century, even then maybe mother in laws would not hit their daughter in laws.i have no words for your husband, please get out of this mess, there is a better life out there.you dont deserve thisand your MIL.. if only i could get my hands on her she is making me livid.
What should I do?
Physical abuse was only a matter of time; I think you should get away from these loonies...asap. Your husband will either realise what he stands to lose and shape up; or he doesn't care either way. You will only find out by getting out and getting some breathing space, as well as some real life support.
Re: What should I do?
So you’re pregnant and it’s a high risk pregnancy. You believe your MIL was trying hit you on your stomach. Your mother is willing to cancel a trip to Pakistan so you can go stay with her…but you think that’s not a good solution? 
You actually believe it’s a “good solution” to stay in the same house as your MIL who has already tried hurting your baby once? After all, it’s not like MIL will give up and never try to hurt you or the baby again right? 
With 2 professional degrees, you’re a smart woman. What do you think it means when a husband says that to his pregnant wife? I’m amazed that even for a moment you think it’s a good idea to continue living with a man who has such little (actually 0) concern for you and your unborn child.
What should I do?
Is this an ego problem... Where going back would be admitting to all you made a terrible mistake by marrying against the wishes of your family? Because that is the only reason i can think of for you allowing them to treat you this way for so long.
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He knew why I was saying that. I told him that I wanna go because I’m really stressed here and don’t feel good either. He actually said he was willing to send his parents to Pak, what more can he do. He said it’s not his fault that they said they won’t go. We had a talk again last night and he told me to just stay in my room, not cook, and he’ll get food catered. MIL doesn’t know this yet. It’s friday and she goes to dars and stuff and doesn’t come back home till 5-6. So let’s see what she says after she comes back. Hopefully, hubby will be back by then too so she doesn’t say much to me as she doesn’t say much in front of him now.
Khatti: Check your PM.
By “good solution” I meant that even if my mom cancels her trip and I go stay with her, my problems won’t end. I still have to come back to this house eventually. Hubby won’t let me stay there for the whole pregnancy and 1-2 months isn’t worth letting my mom cancel her trip. And on top of it, hubby has already said to not expect him to call me back if I go. I’m not even going for fun, it’s for his child! I told him that but he says in words of his mom “many other women in the world go thru such traumatic experiences and their babies are fine, trust Allah”. I don’t know if he’s agreeing that I’m ALSO in a traumatic situation or he’s just telling this to me to shut me up!
Oh and I didn’t ask “WTH is it supposed to mean” in a literal way. It was just kinda rhetoric, sorry.
No it’s not ego. Ego is the last thing I have! I’m just guilty, actually very guilty. My mom actually cried to me telling me I won’t be happy in that family but I still decided to marry him. That’s what I get, I guess 
Re: What should I do?
I read your thread and I'm left shaking my head.
Allah (swt) says ask me, and I will answer your prayers. But He does not say to do nothing. He says to do what is in your power to better your situation and then He will help you. You do nothing.
You let this horrible woman abuse you and yes, her actions verbal or otherwise are abuse. Your husband is not worthy of being called a man because a man in my opinion is a kind, fair person.
Stop catering to your MIL and stop catering to your husband - just stop. And do something for yourself. Whether it's staying with your mom, whether it's finding a job, whether it's finding a home for yourself - you need to act instead of react.
What's so sad is that I, a total stranger feel badly about being harsh in my post to you, yet your husband and in-laws do so much worse and feel nothing? I hope your husband who thinks that jannat can be foud beneath his mother's feet also realizes that kissi ka haq marna, ya unko takleef pohchaana means he will be answerable on the day of Qiyaamat. His mothers prayers alone won't get him there - his own deeds and misdeeds are what Allah (swt) will look at as well. It's time for the little boy to grow up.
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By "good solution" I meant that even if my mom cancels her trip and I go stay with her, my problems won't end. I still have to come back to this house eventually. Hubby won't let me stay there for the whole pregnancy and 1-2 months isn't worth letting my mom cancel her trip. And on top of it, hubby has already said to not expect him to call me back if I go. I'm not even going for fun, it's for his child! I told him that but he says in words of his mom "many other women in the world go thru such traumatic experiences and their babies are fine, trust Allah". I don't know if he's agreeing that I'm ALSO in a traumatic situation or he's just telling this to me to shut me up!
(
The thing is, the first couple months are pretty important so while in the longer scheme of things, you might think that 1-2 months isn't worth your mom missing her trip, trust me, it is, for you and for her. My mom flew out to the States just to be with me for 2 weeks during pregnancy because my husband had to go out of town. These are the sacrifices that our parents are willing to make for us, and you should be willing to make for your baby.
If Allah forbid, something happens during this pregnancy, imagine the how you'll feel and your mom will feel (i don't want to comment on how your husband will feel, since that's a whole other issue). Your mom is offering you a lower stress environment and is willing to cancel her trip (in the greater scheme of things, high risk pregnancy probably trumps wedding) and I don't understand why you won't take her up on it. You don't have to stay there the entire pregnancy, but get through the first 1.5-2 trimesters at least.
And as for the other thing about other women going through traumatic experiences, remind him that not every other pregnancy in the history of this world has been normal. There are bad outcomes and since no one in your household has a crystal ball, it's better to be safe rather than sorry.
Re: What should I do?
Your husband already told you not to expect him to call you back if you go…so what makes you think he won’t let you stay there for the entire pregnancy? 
And what is all this “won’t let” me talk? If you choose to leave your current home and move in with your mother for the rest of the pregnancy b/c you want to do everything possible to birth a healthy baby…how exactly is your husband going to prevent you from doing that? And seriously…even IF it was for 1-2 months…the safety of your pregnancy…a baby you claim you wanted…isn’t “worth” your mother cancelling a trip to Pakistan?
What exactly is your #1 priority here? Your own feelings? Your husband’s feelings? Or your unborn child?
Re: What should I do?
Busy Bee, you know right that at the moment you can call 9-11 and technically get your MIL arrested for battery and physical abuse? However, what I gather is that you seem committed to trying to make this relationship with your husband work so obviously you shouldn't do that. What you *should *do, at least what I would do if I were in your shoes, is to buy a ticket online and leave for mom's home.
I think doing so will send a very clear message to your MIL and husband-- and it is very IMPORTANT that they get this-- that you will be drawing the line at physical abuse at least, especially when the welfare of your child is at stake. See, you have been enduring emotional abuse and emotional blackmailing by your MIL for several years now but this is even more serious than that. And it is no longer just about you either. It is a matter welfare of your child, who should be your priority, no?
And what's the worst that can happen if you decide to leave and stay at your mom's house during your pregnancy? That your husband doesn't call you or that he threatens to divorce you? I mean, if he does that, clearly he would be, to say the least, a looser. So is that the kind of a man you would want to call you or live your life with anyway? No, right. I mean all of us respect our parents and all but does that mean we become completely unfair and indifferent to the abuse our spouse might be getting from our mother. We don't. And if your husband is man enough-- and, more importantly, a man worth having in your life-- he shouldn't do that either.
And I am not saying that your relationship with hubby will go southwards should you decide to leave for your mom's place. It is certainly possible he can come around, apologize, and, in your absence, try to reach some kind of amicable solution to the problems with MIL by standing his ground for once and convincing his parents to please stay in their own house. So don't over-think the situation. Go to your mom's place. Don't take too much stress there. Wait and see. Try to relax, and look forward to your lovely bundle of joy i.e. your baby's arrival in a few months time!
I hope everything turns out alright for you, Busybee. Stay safe. And good luck.
Re: What should I do?
I am really sorry for you. Thing is your husband has said he will take a few positive steps (catering etc.) for you. I know you want to give this relationship your best shot. So try talking about the baby with him in a positive way and how you are getting this wish of yours after so much trying etc. Try not to make your in laws the subject of every conversation with your husband. That said, after the baby is born find a job, whether your husband and you make it work or you get (God Forbid) divorced and live with your parents you will need to support yourself. Everyone here on GS is saying stay strong etc. but you lack two fundamental things needed for strength; either husband's support or financial independence.
You said you don't have a close relationship with your dad! then even if you move in with them permanently if things don't work out I imagine it will be hard for you. Right now you just need to bide your time until the baby is born. If you go for a short visit to your parents' house your "kaanon aka kacha" husband will listen to mom again and God forbid may not even call you back. This would not be such a bad thing if you were financially independent but you are not. Have the baby and asap get a job even if that means that you get only a few dollars after childcare, you will be gaining valuable experience and the cost of child care will go down as the child grows up. All the ultimatums can only work if you are ready for both outcomes.
Right now you are dependent upon your husband's support, only you can make this right with Allah's help! And oh yes, google some duas against zalim people and how to keep peace in the house. Recite them.