Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
what do your parents and other siblings think about it? do they notice, or is it just you?
Read my other post on page 3 it should answer your question.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
Inalillah,
arent mehrams , men first? We can't reciprocate culture with religion . How many of us could remember our naanis , daadis being bare headed let alone without duppatta at all ?
Being around mehrams doesn't mean u don't dress or cover appropriately. Haaya for both genders should be observed inside the home and outside as well.
Op, your mother should talk to her.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
OP,
1) Your brother goes to Uni or stays outside, I wonder what do you do during the whole day. Do you go to Uni or job or stay inside all day?
2) Your mother lives in the ground floor portion that doesn't mean that you cannot talk to her about this. You can start with the general discussion on dresses these days (like you started here with what is wrong with Paki girls) and hint that your sister is also not wearing appropriate clothes. Being a wise lady your mother will take notice of this and talk to your sister.
3) Talk to your mother and father that you want your brother to move to upper portion and your sister to ground portion, give reason that your brother needs tuition or help in his studies. OR shift yourself to the ground portion, tell them its too hot for you in the upper portion.
4) Be a man and talk to her in brotherly tone about her dress and tell her to dress appropriately when you are around.
Frankly, given the situation these days and frustration in our society I will never allow a brother and sister to share a portion alone, no matter how good or religious the family is. I will keep the women folk in the ground portion and men in the upper portion, daughters/sisters should always be around their mother, PERIOD.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
^ Very well said and great advice :k:
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
OP,
1) Your brother goes to Uni or stays outside, I wonder what do you do during the whole day. Do you go to Uni or job or stay inside all day?
2) Your mother lives in the ground floor portion that doesn't mean that you cannot talk to her about this. You can start with the general discussion on dresses these days (like you started here with what is wrong with Paki girls) and hint that your sister is also not wearing appropriate clothes. Being a wise lady your mother will take notice of this and talk to your sister.
3) Talk to your mother and father that you want your brother to move to upper portion and your sister to ground portion, give reason that your brother needs tuition or help in his studies. OR shift yourself to the ground portion, tell them its too hot for you in the upper portion.
4) Be a man and talk to her in brotherly tone about her dress and tell her to dress appropriately when you are around.
Frankly, given the situation these days and frustration in our society I will never allow a brother and sister to share a portion alone, no matter how good or religious the family is. I will keep the women folk in the ground portion and men in the upper portion, daughters/sisters should always be around their mother, PERIOD.
Thanks ekumunng, ill try to talk to my mom first and see what happens. Moving to other rooms is a bit difficult without giving any strong reason coz my brother does not like the upstairs anyway. I will talk to my mother and see how it goes.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
Rant? A rant is another word for a vent. A rant is angry and insulting. The OP hasn't insulted the sister...even said good things about her. Op is concerned...a concern that may not be high on some people's lists. But it's not a rant.
Yes. To me, its kind of insulting sharing about what your sister is wearing making people think on the open forum of how she may look like with such revealing clothes. Saying she is a nice person, she is good, she is well-mannered and blah blah doesn't justify the situation!
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
why are you bothered? let her do whatever she wants..... you are not her mother.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
First of all im sorry about the title of the thread, and i will explain my situation a bit further because i read many different opinions here. And i am her brother so that should already clear up a few things. Yes my mom could talk to her or father but its a big house my mom and younger brother are always on the ground floor while me and my sister are on the first floor our rooms i mean so mom bearly notices anything or younger brother. i cannot reply to everyone here so i will try to make it clearer to everybody. My dads out of the house most of the time working. younger brother is out at university or with friends and mom is on the ground floor so she does not notice. And someone said here its ok until she is wearing the undergarment... is it normal to see her in her undergarments really?? She wears it so thin that its like she is not wearing anything above the undergarments at all, how is that normal? and i have noticed she gets a duppata on her whenever my mom or dad or younger brother are around but never infront of me? is that normal? and about that nazar teri gandi ha thing how can you not notice all that. If you had a sister would you not notice something like that and be worried about it? Yes i admit its hot here but its not that hot.
C`mon yar, just tell her in a scolding tone, dhang ke kapray pehna karo mere samnay and leave the room for that time.... I think this should be enough. Why you are so hesitant. Making your mother speak to her wont even make her realise what she is doing wrong. Maybe when you speak to her directly she can realise and understand it better. That's it.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
^No! That is rude and embarrassing coming from a brother. Let the mom take care of it.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
C`mon yar, just tell her in a scolding tone, dhang ke kapray pehna karo mere samnay and leave the room for that time.... .
I'm not so sure about this approach. Depends on the relationship.
If my younger brother ever used a tone like that with me...............well let's just say I would definitely give him a piece of my mind. (at the very least)
Edit: Ditto to RV
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
Its so much hot and humid in pakistan during summer that its foolish to even think that she will be wearing a vest or shameez under her kameez, specially if she is working in kitchen and moving around. If she is wearing appropriate undergarments, i dont see what the problem is? When there is sweat obviously there will be some visibility. **
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**I think you should try to keep your eyes low if it bothers you so much and try not to let your thoughts wander. I think you have a lot of free time on your hands. Get yourself busy, may be work around the house and give her some rest. After all, it gets worse in heat and sweat right?
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Give her some break!
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Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
Oh and the more appropriate title would have been "what is wrong with Pakistani brothers"
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
But if you so disturbed by it then i would say talk to your mom. I wouldn't advise you to talk to her directly, it will be very offending coming from a younger brother! And make sure when your mom talks to her, she pretends its coming from her because i wouldn't like my younger bro asking my mom to tell me to wear dopatta infront of him, just a sisterly advice!
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
*And the reason that you notice that she wears dopatta in front of others and not in front of you, thats because you guys are mostly in the same portion. No one wears a dopatta in her room. You dont expect her to wear dopatta everytime she leaves her room to do some small chore just because you happen to be there all the time. Since you are her younger bhai, it might not even have crossed her mind. *
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
Challooo....you are telling us it should be ok to wear monokini infront of brother, father?
Religiously, it might depend on the fiqh on what is more permissible but yeah she can wear a miniskirt at home. She is your sister so you aren't supposed to have dirty thoughts about her anyway.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
Ok i talked to my mom about it, and she talked to my sister about it. But it did not get well i think it went horribly wrong. After some time talking to my mom, she stormed my room yelling at me that what i told my mother. The argument got really bad and we started to be a bit open to each other about it. she asked what my problem was and i said its the way you dress infront of me, i can see everything. so she goes to me and says, whats the problem with it i know how i am dressing. its ok for you when you see other girls dressing like this when you go out but not when i am dressing like this. why do you get embarrased seeing me. i said because you are my sister!. she said i know how i dress and what it shows and what doesn't and im comfortable with you seeing me like this then why cant you be. I said wtf that means, she didnt say anything and stormed out of the room.
she has some temper, i dont know what she meant by that. My mom was sleeping at that time i think because she has not said anything, i dont think she knows about the argument. and its been hours and im still avoiding my sister. seriously is there a problem with her or me, All i asked her was to not wear too much thin dress that shows you know. i have no idea what to do.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
Perhaps this is her idea of freedom in the house? Indian movies and peers influence our young (and even older) generations a lot these days, so for those talking about nani par dadi etc should take heed how Pakistan is changing. I don't know how your sister is but perhaps you can slightly nudge her gently in the "right path" if you guys generally have a friendly relationship. She does have the older sibling card so it won't be easy if not impossble.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
you mom should talk to her again, maybe you can be present as well? i think you intentions are good.
Re: What is wrong with pakistani girls!
I think i advised you late.(check my last few posts) In my post i asked you to make sure when your mom talks to her, she pretends it is coming from her and you have nothing to do with it. Of course she would be angry, its legitimate. So would i if i came to know that my younger bro has objections on me not wearing dopatta infront of him, which makes him uncomfortable and he told my mom about it. I would be so offended and i guess a tad bit heartbroken too. You are her chota bhai, come on.
Actually i thought that it was a ridiculous thread from the start and you should have just ignored it and do nothing. She wears dopatta when she goes downstairs, upstairs shes in her relaxed mode. I wouldn't blame her for being furious at you.
You just made mountain out of a mole hill.
Naani and daadis were mentioned to the refernce of the culture allowing to wear whatever u want at home.
Common sense , sometimes alone is enough to determine right from wrong.