Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
Its a choice....some people like to work and others like to be housewives .....to each their own I don't understand why both groups need to justify themselves
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
^ ya mon..nuff respec
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
^ i guess havnig said that.... if a housewife has not worked and managed a home, cant say stuff about a working mother... and a working mother shouldnt say stuff about a housewife... simple
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
^exactly :)
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
yes and if one is neither a working mom nor a housewife they should zip it altogether.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
look.. there is nothign wrong with voicing ur opinions...
by what ur saying, if someone is single, they should not state whether they prefer to be a housewife or a career women once they are married? how is that fair? if one is single and in the process of looking for a rishta, they should be allowed to speak their opinion... but be open to compromise.... right?
arent we always advocating that girls need to speak up more about what they want before marriage rather than afterwards? to avoid nasty situations? unhappy ones?
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
Ok so im a House wife...no kids..and not working...
look.. there is nothign wrong with voicing ur opinions...
by what ur saying, if someone is single, they should not state whether they prefer to be a housewife or a career women once they are married? how is that fair? if one is single and in the process of looking for a rishta, they should be allowed to speak their opinion... but be open to compromise.... right?
arent we always advocating that girls need to speak up more about what they want before marriage rather than afterwards? to avoid nasty situations? unhappy ones?
sadzzz, I'm sure you know very well what I meant. there is a huge difference between voicing one's opionions based on one's personal preferences, absolutely nothing wrong in that. however, insulting people and their choices by calling them not so flattering names is not voicing opinions, it is talking over and looking down on someone else's choices. simple. just respect.
depends on what you mean by significantly more difficult, if you are comparing it to stay at home mums then yes, ladies who are juggling career and home have it significantly tougher. But if you are saying that its significantly tougher for women than men, then I disagree, it completely depends on the couple. Obviously if someone is married to a king of the castle type guy then yes, but if it is a cooperative spouse than its a wash.
Additionally it is not always a matter of financial reasons to meet certain lifestyles, but of intellectual needs as well, Just because the option is available for the wife to stay at home does not mean she would want to take it, or that it makes sense. It varies by individual, their field etc.
The point is not what is right or what is wrong, as I said if someone wants to stay at home more power to them, but when such posts are made about all that stay at home ladies do, then well career ladies do that in addition to the careers. Only difference is when there are non school age kids involved where stay at home um is giving all that time to them rather than a nanny or day care. Although that time has to be quality as well which is not always the case. as far as it not being sustainable, not quite sure about that. some ladies I know have run successful medical practices, research labs, and non for profits (real ones not mickey mouse types) for years while running a household. its challenging but not undoable, for some it would be for some it wont be.
I was referring to women who are juggling career/home. Men don't enter the picture. Of all the reasons that women need to work, financial is almost always the most compelling one. Much of American society is now built on a two wage earner model so the pressures are stronger for women to join the workforce so that the family can live in a subdivision with a good school district, take decent vacations etc. I am not arguing the reasoning behind the decisions made by couples, just stating that it is compelling.
I think that when children are in the mix, the quality of upbringing plays a huge role in their development. The time investment necessary, simply cannot be quantified by day care or prestigious private schools. The transmission of culture, values also has to play a role.
I am not stating it's unsustainable based on conjecture but rather sound evidence from HR studies on Men vs. Female career ladders, the effects of working 60+ hours on long term health (JAMA). You can juggle for only so long before you start slipping or experience massive burnouts. This just doesn't apply to women but also men. Running medical practices, research labs, and legit NPOs is not exactly the same as being partner in BigLaw, MD at an I-Bank because the former activities tend to be entrepreneurial in nature where a Physican in practice can cancel office hours when junior is sick, try doing the same at a legal firm (not private practice) and the ramifications would be swift in terms of career trajectories. Sure you could mention that this woman is satisfied at where she is, but then you have people howling about discrimination at the workplace as well. Not exactly black and white.
sadzzz, I'm sure you know very well what I meant. there is a huge difference between voicing one's opionions based on one's personal preferences, absolutely nothing wrong in that. however, insulting people and their choices by calling them not so flattering names is not voicing opinions, it is talking over and looking down on someone else's choices. simple. just respect.
Bingo.
Preferences are just that - individual opinions. If you're a woman who wants to work, no one should be stopping you, however that does not make you "better/more intelligent/etc" than those women who prefer to stay at home.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
^ why dont u ask a women who works and who has a happy child?
and this culture stuff... what does it even mean? passing on our culture to the kids? the first this one ought to think about his passing on good morals and love and respect... not culture.
I dont understand this whole culture pride thing... and how on earth would u know how happy a child is or is not because they go to a daycare? at least when they are there, they are being taught how to be independant little youngsters.. being taught how to eat by themselves... how to interact with other kids.. how to do lots of fun things.
Everyone can go through burnouts, even single people have those phases... why do u think we are entitled to annual leave and sick leave? those are there for a reason.
Puhleez.. if ur going to talk about the upbringing of a child who had a working mother, as opposed to mothers who stay at home.... take it elsewhere.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
I've worked as a teacher, and I can tell you from first hand experience that you can never predict with kids - I've seen the most stupid and disinterested troublesome kids coming from working moms, and also from bored housewives. I've seen the smartest kids coming from working moms and also from bored housewives.
It's not so much whether you work or not, but how much time and effort you put in to raising your kids if you do it effectively. I've seen parents who are all the time with their kids, but they just don't discipline them. If beta jee asks for a chocolate, he gets it. If he asks to put his finger up someone's butt, he gets to do that too. Some parents don't set boundaries, and do not use positive reinforcement.
My maami jaan is a stay at home, and her kids are all out of control. The youngest will literally grab her steering wheel and turn it this way and that if he is not allowed to get candy on the way home.
So, don't tell me that you keep your wife at home, you're going to have a string of brilliant kids. There's no necessary rule as such.
Bingo.
Preferences are just that - individual opinions. If you're a woman who wants to work, no one should be stopping you, however that does not make you "better/more intelligent/etc" than those women who prefer to stay at home.
where have i said that im a better human being than someone who stays at home?
all i can see is people saying that those mothers who work are neglecting their children and their upbringing.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
sadzz, for some people it is more about status, naaz, fakhr over heritage, and we can see very easily what kinds of people are more into their arrogance over their status than others. Those people can stay at home all they want, but their kids will come out just as arrogant as them.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
i know.
Im just over this whole culture pride thing. Give me one good thing it teaches us, and another culture that doesnt do the same and i will believe you.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
Sadzzz can u point out exactly where people are looking down on working moms and calling them names? I'd really like to see those posts.....
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
^ ive never said anything about calling working mothers names Sara.
Im talking about how people perceive them and how they think their children are being neglected.
If u havent been able to read that urself.... not sure what u've been reading
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
Seeing as I have touched some nerves, all I will say is that if you people are happy with your respective situations then why hate on others? I mean what is that going to do for you.
There are no guarantees in life, the best you can do is prepare with the time and information that you have. Again, I don't know you people and your decisions are yours, please refrain from dictating whether transmission of culture is important or not, and single people burnout too - just like your choices to work or not, these issues are matter to some people more than others. Really, the bitterness and name calling weakens your arguments.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
I just cannot believe the way women are talking about each other in this thread. It's disgusting.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
^Same here....why can't they just stop criticizing each other....live and let live!!