Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
mozey hahahahahahhah.. hahahahhahahahah
Why wait? Why not now?
Ummm....cuz I'm working right now... my hubs' farmaaish.
Mera tau iraada thaa freeloader bannay ka, but hubby needed financial backup for a while. Now we're all good, so I might become a 'freeloader' (as some ladies here labeled it) in a couple of years :@:
What about housewives who have nannies/cleaning ladies to help with the care of their children and upkeep of the home - would that invalidate the value of a woman staying at home?
I've got friends like this. They are stay-at-home moms who gave up careers to be home with their kids but they have help.
IMHO, children need a lot from their parents... they need company, someone to pay them attention and play with them and shower them with love. My poor daughter has suffered a little since I'm not there for her all the time, but I try to make up for it in the evenings.... she wants my complete attention when I'm home and its really impossible for me to cook, clean or do other chores and pay attention to her at the same time... so I've found other avenues to get those things done :D.
So yeah, I don't see anything wrong with the Stay-at-home moms getting help with household chores so they can give more attention to their children, or maybe spend time on their own hobbies like reading, hiking, playing sports or whatever it is they like to do. If they can afford it, great... who are we to judge them on what they do in their spare time.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
I think that a woman's choice of lifestyle should be respected by all. These days, its surely a luxury to have the ability to choose staying home to care for house and family. A luxury that not many can afford. I was lucky enough to have the choice and I never looked back. And I'm proud of my life as wife and mom.
Its a tough job for sure - far tougher than a wall street technology job. Its the repetitiveness, the dullness and the never-ending-ness (24 by 7 by 365) that can sometimes feel overwhelming. When we work in a career, we get time off and even breaks during the day. We get to leave work at work and come home. Not so when you're a stay-home. A little break now and then is vital.
Also vital is a bit of respect for those who choose this path. To just make the wild assumption that every stay-home wife/mother is an uneducated idiot that watches soap operas, eats bonbons and spends money in the malls is beyond infuriating.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
^:k:
stoppit, you're going around in circles.
Working from home and being a housewife in my opinion are not two seperate things but are the same thing in essentials. If someone says to me that I have a jewellery business which runs from home and I cook and clean then it is the same thing to me! She is just given a different label of being a businesswoman!!
No, I think the career women here have been quite narrow minded and have a tunnel approach to life. Everything for them is just black and white. I mean some have called housewives as freeloaders! How rude is that!? I work and have a good career but I would never say that about a woman who stays at home and raises her children or cleans for her husband regardless of whether she goes out and spends his money. She is entitled to spend it and has a right to spend it!
No dear, you are.
Even Mehnaz has said that being a housewife and working from home are two different things. Why are you so opposed to accepting it?
To be honest, I think you don't even want to see what they are saying. Pretty much everyone has unanimously said that being a full time mother is a great thing to do. The opposition comes when you have a woman, married without children and does pretty much nothing of note with her time - on this matter we all have our own opinions.
What do you want anyway? A 'well done' sticker? Hate to break it to you but it doesn't matter what you do in life, there is always going to be someone who doesn't rate it.
Everyone is entitled to do whatever the hell they like, it doesn't mean everyone else has to like it.
I think that a woman's choice of lifestyle should be respected by all. These days, its surely a luxury to have the ability to choose staying home to care for house and family. A luxury that not many can afford. I was lucky enough to have the choice and I never looked back. And I'm proud of my life as wife and mom.
Its a tough job for sure - far tougher than a wall street technology job. Its the repetitiveness, the dullness and the never-ending-ness (24 by 7 by 365) that can sometimes feel overwhelming. When we work in a career, we get time off and even breaks during the day. We get to leave work at work and come home. Not so when you're a stay-home. A little break now and then is vital.
Also vital is a bit of respect for those who choose this path. To just make the wild assumption that every stay-home wife/mother is an uneducated idiot that watches soap operas, eats bonbons and spends money in the malls is beyond infuriating.
You're not brown. You have no clue how brown women roll.
I am sick of single girls who say that they don't want to marry and become "just a housewife" like it's a death wish or something.
IMO, a housewife incorporates elements of numerous professions, like:
1) they cook well - chef 2) look after their children and their medical needs - nurse/doctor 3) keep their houses clean and well presented - interior decorators 4) teach their children manners and discipline - teacher 5) keep the house in a good working order - manager
The only difference is that they dont get paid and/or don't get appreciated for the effort they put into their work. But even working a 9-5 job isn't the bees knees and you're never going to be earning enough anyway!
I also think we should realise that although Islam has given us the freedom to work, it also says we should be queens of our homes, and sorry to say, but I'd rather be a queen than just an "employee".
ladies with careers do all the things you noted, so cooking well, looking after children and their medical needs, keeping their house clean and well presented, teaching the children manners and discipline and keeping the house in good working order.
and..they do it on top of what else they do, whatever role they have in their career, teacher, accountant, banker, doctor, lawyer, you name it.
and not so sure about never going to be earning enough anyways. I know plenty of ladies making a very good salary or commissions or business revenue. any idea how much a lady who is a radiologist or anestesiologist or a CPA or a corp VP make?
btw the queen is an employee of the household as well and has to do things right.
lastly one can always have their own business and be queen of that as well.
I am all for housewives and if that is what someone wants to do then more power to them, but the assumption that women with a career dont do every single thing noted above is more than a little misleading.
gracias
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
stoppit, you have to cut a bit of slack here. Many gals marry and then struggle greatly with learning to cook and care for house and home. This is a huge adjustment and one that can fill endless hours in a day. Like I said before, there are surely some gals who take advantage and eat bonbons all day but they are few. No one aspires to be a burden on another.
I quit my job before I got pregnant. I was struggling with infertility and my job requirements were too demanding. I got funny looks for sure. Tongues wagged for sure. And I myself did some soap-watching and bon-bon eating during those dark days. But it got me through and it got me my heart's desire. Its better than if I had hit a history-making lotto.
So...dont be too quick to judge when you dont have the whole story.
^I don't think that was meant for me?
Rather be a queen than an employee? get over yourself
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
I'm about to call and tell my colleagues (they are also my close friends) that I am taking a break from my career to stay at home with my daughter and run our home. I was already dreading the judgement. This thread isn't helping.
ladies with careers do all the things you noted, so cooking well, looking after children and their medical needs, keeping their house clean and well presented, teaching the children manners and discipline and keeping the house in good working order.
and..they do it on top of what else they do, whatever role they have in their career, teacher, accountant, banker, doctor, lawyer, you name it.
and not so sure about never going to be earning enough anyways. I know plenty of ladies making a very good salary or commissions or business revenue. any idea how much a lady who is a radiologist or anestesiologist or a CPA or a corp VP make?
btw the queen is an employee of the household as well and has to do things right.
lastly one can always have their own business and be queen of that as well.
I am all for housewives and if that is what someone wants to do then more power to them, but the assumption that women with a career dont do every single thing noted above is more than a little misleading.
gracias
Points taken. However working 60-80 hours a week is not sustainble for an indefinite period of time. Even though we know that the professions mentioned above require over 40 hour weeks, just to be conservative:
40 hours at the job plus 20 hours at home is not easy. I can understand why many women have to work for financial reasons where both incomes are needed to maintain certain lifestyle, but not when the option is availble for the wife to stay at home.
You can not deny that it is significantly more difficult for women to maintain both career and kids.
Points taken. However working 60-80 hours a week is not sustainble for an indefinite period of time. Even though we know that the professions mentioned above require over 40 hour weeks, just to be conservative:
40 hours at the job plus 20 hours at home is not easy. I can understand why many women have to work for financial reasons where both incomes are needed to maintain certain lifestyle, but not when the option is availble for the wife to stay at home.
You can not deny that it is significantly more difficult for women to maintain both career and kids.
depends on what you mean by significantly more difficult, if you are comparing it to stay at home mums then yes, ladies who are juggling career and home have it significantly tougher. But if you are saying that its significantly tougher for women than men, then I disagree, it completely depends on the couple. Obviously if someone is married to a king of the castle type guy then yes, but if it is a cooperative spouse than its a wash.
Additionally it is not always a matter of financial reasons to meet certain lifestyles, but of intellectual needs as well, Just because the option is available for the wife to stay at home does not mean she would want to take it, or that it makes sense. It varies by individual, their field etc.
The point is not what is right or what is wrong, as I said if someone wants to stay at home more power to them, but when such posts are made about all that stay at home ladies do, then well career ladies do that in addition to the careers. Only difference is when there are non school age kids involved where stay at home um is giving all that time to them rather than a nanny or day care. Although that time has to be quality as well which is not always the case.
as far as it not being sustainable, not quite sure about that. some ladies I know have run successful medical practices, research labs, and non for profits (real ones not mickey mouse types) for years while running a household. its challenging but not undoable, for some it would be for some it wont be.
depends on what you mean by significantly more difficult, if you are comparing it to stay at home mums then yes, ladies who are juggling career and home have it significantly tougher. But if you are saying that its significantly tougher for women than men, then I disagree, it completely depends on the couple. Obviously if someone is married to a king of the castle type guy then yes, but if it is a cooperative spouse than its a wash.
Additionally it is not always a matter of financial reasons to meet certain lifestyles, but of intellectual needs as well, Just because the option is available for the wife to stay at home does not mean she would want to take it, or that it makes sense. It varies by individual, their field etc.
The point is not what is right or what is wrong, as I said if someone wants to stay at home more power to them, but when such posts are made about all that stay at home ladies do, then well career ladies do that in addition to the careers. Only difference is when there are non school age kids involved where stay at home um is giving all that time to them rather than a nanny or day care. Although that time has to be quality as well which is not always the case.
I was waiting for someone to finally say this so thank you.
I was waiting for someone to finally say this so thank you.
its true..people may say its not true but how many stay at home mums have a full day planned out with the kid, with activities to keep them engaged. Those who do, I salute them, because that requires planning, patience, perseverance and dealing with peepee and poopoo at the same time (see how may words with p i can get in there)
but kids sleeping in, sitting in front of TV while mama yaps on phone, unchanged, unbathed are not rare things, even in Pakistan where domestic help is available.
just because a lady is a stay at home mum does not make her a good stay at home mum. and as I have stated before, once the kids are school age the amount of time a stay at home mum can spend with them versus a career lady is basically the same. kids have school all day and hopefully afterschool programs because they have extra curriculars whether its sports, clubs, music or whatever..
all i know is that I could not tell the difference really when my mum was not working and when she started working again the house was the same, food was cooked, place was clean, clothes were washed and all, we all had our chores but nothing terrible. I am sure she had to plan and be more creative and dad helped etc but we could never feel a difference
PS: since the thread got merged I thought I would clarify, nothing wrong with being a housewife, do it right though, and dont look down at working ladies as if they are not good mothers or that they have to work because they have some financial need forcing them to work. Saying that being a housewife is okay..is perfectly okay..but it does not need to be 'supported' by putting career women down as some do.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
Reality is, in today's society, with the economy being what it is, if you are able to be a "housewife", "queen", whatever you want to call it, you are incredibly fortunate. A lot of families require two incomes in order to maintain their expenses and have some sort of savings. If you are fortunate enough to be able manage well on one income only, then be grateful. Instead of caring what other people have to say about you, count your blessings instead. Whether you work, don't work, there will always be someone there to criticize you. Like, who cares what they have to say? Be confident in your decision, whatever it may be.
I don't understand the many hissy fits going on in this thread.
Points taken. However working 60-80 hours a week is not sustainble for an indefinite period of time. Even though we know that the professions mentioned above require over 40 hour weeks, just to be conservative:
40 hours at the job plus 20 hours at home is not easy. I can understand why many women have to work for financial reasons where both incomes are needed to maintain certain lifestyle, but not when the option is availble for the wife to stay at home.
You can not deny that it is significantly more difficult for women to maintain both career and kids.
unless u r a working mother urself.. who works a 40 hour week and comes home and looks after all these other duties and her beloved kids, u seriously have no right to make this kind of judgement.
and i dont know about you... but the country i work in has to provide flexible hours to parents who have kids under 5 yrs of age.
Please do not judge what a women is capable of. It is highly demeaning
and for those peopel who think a women who works does not keep the house clean, does not cook well, does not discipline her child(ren), and doesnt give them love... u dont know what ur talking about. A women knows her priorities...
Reality is, in today's society, with the economy being what it is, if you are able to be a "housewife", "queen", whatever you want to call it, you are incredibly fortunate. A lot of families require two incomes in order to maintain their expenses and have some sort of savings. If you are fortunate enough to be able manage well on one income only, then be grateful. Instead of caring what other people have to say about you, count your blessings instead. Whether you work, don't work, there will always be someone there to criticize you. Like, who cares what they have to say? Be confident in your decision, whatever it may be.
I don't understand the many hissy fits going on in this thread.
adding to that though... a lot of women work because they want to. Not because they need the money or cannot survive on the one income... but maybe because they want to do something with their lives.
and X2 said it well..
why is there a need to put the other side down when trying to say they are content with their lives? If ur content... that is brilliant! good on u.. seriously. Its tough being content with ur life these days..... but dont need to put anyone else down for their choice(s).. it just shows.... ur not content
You're not brown. You have no clue how brown women roll.
You're neither a working mom nor a housewife. YOU have no clue how these women roll and no, witnessing a few 'freeloaders' in your own family or community does NOT make you an ultimate authority to pass such ridiculous judgements on 'brown women' in general.