Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
^
if that were the case gs wouldn't be an "interesting" as it is.
not everyone is cut out for a career or being a housewife, sometimes things are done out of necessity or simply bc it makes us happy and content.
The war between the working woman vs. housewife is a lost cause, be a grown up and drop it folks.
where have i said that im a better human being than someone who stays at home? ** all i can see is people saying that those mothers who work are neglecting their children and their upbringing**.
Sadzzz can u point out exactly where people are looking down on working moms and calling them names? I'd really like to see those posts.....
^ ive never said anything about calling working mothers names Sara.
Im talking about how people perceive them and how they think their children are being neglected. ** If u havent been able to read that urself.... not sure what u've been reading**
Okay, maybe not calling names, but insults like what you pointed otu in the first post.
I can say the exact same.
I have see more name-calling and insults towards women who stay at home. they're frequently being called freeloaders or unintelligent etc, but I haven't yet seen such nasty labels applied to working mothers. Maybe I have blinders on and cant see the insults being thrown at antoher group, so thats why I asked you, since you were the one to point it out.
^
if that were the case gs wouldn't be an "interesting" as it is.
not everyone is cut out for a career or being a housewife, sometimes things are done out of necessity or simply bc it makes us happy and content.
The war between the working woman vs. housewife is a lost cause, be a grown up and drop it folks.
EXACTLY.
I think everybody save for maybe 1% can agree that every woman should do whats in the best interest of her family and herself, whether thats going to work or staying home and raising kids...people, especially women, definitely need to stop hating on each other for their choices, and especially making each other feel bad...calling mothers who work neglectful, or women who stay at home "freeloaders."
not everyone is cut out for a career or being a housewife, sometimes things are done out of necessity or simply bc it makes us happy and content.
The war between the working woman vs. housewife is a lost cause, be a grown up and drop it folks.
Right as always!
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
There is nothing wrong in being a housewife. If the husband can fulfil all his financial obligations towards his wife and children then really there is no issue in becoming a house wife. But if the husband can't esp when it comes down to the needs of children then the HOUSE WIFE has to get out of the house to work in order to provide for her children needs.
adding to that though... a lot of women work because they want to. Not because they need the money or cannot survive on the one income... but maybe because they want to do something with their lives.
I think I would be more willing to believe this if the laws were the same all over the world. Unfortunately, they aren't. You are very fortunate to be in Australia cause they provide flexibility to parents who have kids under the age of 5. I would go as far as saying the same thing to people who reside in Europe. They get a minimum of 6 weeks vacation which works out great if you have kids cause it allows a parent to take vacation during their kids summer holidays, which I believe is also 6 weeks. In Canada, by law, all you get is 2 weeks vacation from work. If you have kids, too bad. It is really rare to find a company that is flexible and undestanding if you have kids, are a single parent, etc. Plus there aren't any government incentives, at least here, to have 2 incomes coming in. That's why I am weary of believing that most women work just for the joy of it after having kids. It's hard to balance when the laws, company policies, etc. don't really support you or encourage flexibility in your timetable, if you know what I mean. Of course, the type of job you do plays a huge factor as well. I don't believe teachers would have the same issue with vacation timings with say someone who works in a firm. I'm just trying to look at this from another point of view.
Also, everybody is getting upset about the Freeloader comment. In all honesty, no "man" will say this to his wife or even treat his wife like she's freeloading, especially not a Pakistani man who normally has it ingrained in him from childhood that it's his job as a "mard" to take care of his wife and children. That being said, I do believe that an abusive or narcissistic individual will have no issues bashing his spouse for being a "freeloader".
Girls do have a lot of Pride when it comes to earning money, especially if they were earning on their own beforehand. Lekin, I don't believe this will become an issue in a marriage due to the reasons I stated above unless the husband continuously gives taanay about how he had to spend money on a necessity for her ... which again, most guys won't do unless they are kanjoos or abusive.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
To the housewives, A+ to you.
To the working moms who bring up finance as an excuse: lower your standard of living, you don't require 5 bedroom house for 3 people nor do you need 2-3 cars.
(maybe 10% really need to work to pay off debt and whatnot then it's ok) the rest are just working because they need to pay for what they want not what they need.
Rather be a queen than an employee? get over yourself
why dont you?
To the housewives, A+ to you.
To the working moms who bring up finance as an excuse: lower your standard of living, you don't require 5 bedroom house for 3 people nor do you need 2-3 cars.
(maybe 10% really need to work to pay off debt and whatnot then it's ok) the rest are just working because they need to pay for what they want not what they need.
Again more generalizations! Where do you come up with your percentages...really? Not everyone works to maintain their luxurious lifestyles, some actually work to support hubby in running the household. Also I think most people said it is better to work vs be a housewife BEFORE having kids. After that it would be ideal to be able to stay home with them....but people on this discussion seem to keep missing this point and turning it into a battle.
I think I would be more willing to believe this if the laws were the same all over the world. Unfortunately, they aren't. You are very fortunate to be in Australia cause they provide flexibility to parents who have kids under the age of 5. I would go as far as saying the same thing to people who reside in Europe. They get a minimum of 6 weeks vacation which works out great if you have kids cause it allows a parent to take vacation during their kids summer holidays, which I believe is also 6 weeks. In Canada, by law, all you get is 2 weeks vacation from work. If you have kids, too bad. It is really rare to find a company that is flexible and undestanding if you have kids, are a single parent, etc. Plus there aren't any government incentives, at least here, to have 2 incomes coming in. That's why I am weary of believing that most women work just for the joy of it after having kids. It's hard to balance when the laws, company policies, etc. don't really support you or encourage flexibility in your timetable, if you know what I mean. Of course, the type of job you do plays a huge factor as well. I don't believe teachers would have the same issue with vacation timings with say someone who works in a firm. I'm just trying to look at this from another point of view.
Also, everybody is getting upset about the Freeloader comment. In all honesty, no "man" will say this to his wife or even treat his wife like she's freeloading, especially not a Pakistani man who normally has it ingrained in him from childhood that it's his job as a "mard" to take care of his wife and children. That being said, I do believe that an abusive or narcissistic individual will have no issues bashing his spouse for being a "freeloader".
Girls do have a lot of Pride when it comes to earning money, especially if they were earning on their own beforehand. Lekin, I don't believe this will become an issue in a marriage due to the reasons I stated above unless the husband continuously gives taanay about how he had to spend money on a necessity for her ... which again, most guys won't do unless they are kanjoos or abusive.
Good post. However, even in a country like USA/Canada where the same benefits are not provided to working mothers...there are ladies who really do enjoy their careers and do not want to give them up just yet. For example, I have a friend who had her son right before graduating from med school (Like 2 weeks before). She was thinking of holding off on residency for some time, BUT her mother encouraged her not to quit as she had gotten residency at a good hospital..etc. Now MA, she is doing fellowship/specialization in cardiology and still working. Her son is MA very intelligent, well adjusted, loving caring child. Yes she had the support of her hubby etc but still she did not quit because medicine is her passion. She manages her time well. Not everything is so black & white. Like someone else said, to each their own.
Again more generalizations! Where do you come up with your percentages...really? Not everyone works to maintain their luxurious lifestyles, some actually work to support hubby in running the household. Also I think most people said it is better to work vs be a housewife BEFORE having kids. After that it would be ideal to be able to stay home with them....but people on this discussion seem to keep missing this point and turning it into a battle.
I am sorry if my comments offended you.
I am not generalizing, you mentioned supporting hubby, I put that in the minority. The majority is working just to support their current lifestyle which is living beyond their means. In this world of credit, it's no surprise.
No dear, you are.
Even Mehnaz has said that being a housewife and working from home are two different things. Why are you so opposed to accepting it?
To be honest, I think you don't even want to see what they are saying. Pretty much everyone has unanimously said that being a full time mother is a great thing to do. The opposition comes when you have a woman, married without children and does pretty much nothing of note with her time - on this matter we all have our own opinions.
What do you want anyway? A 'well done' sticker? Hate to break it to you but it doesn't matter what you do in life, there is always going to be someone who doesn't rate it.
Everyone is entitled to do whatever the hell they like, it doesn't mean everyone else has to like it.
what just because you and mehnaz have said it then Iam suddenly meant to agree? I don't think so!
I am entitled to my own opinion and you yours so just leave it at that. No need to get so snippy about it.
And fyi, I agree that married women who just sit at home doing nothing all day are not really proper housewives anyway but that doesn't mean every single married woman at home will be like this! We just presume this to be so because there is a general belief that Pakistani women rely alot on outside help and just watch TV all day. That is a dangerous and very incorrect presumption because these women don't even represent 1/10th of the Pakistani female population. There are Pakistani housewives who do back breaking work to ensure their husbands and kids are fed, clothed and content 24/7! but no one has a single word of praise for them!
Iam not looking for a well done sticker. especially from you or anyone. I am giving my opinions about how career women have started to completely disregard housewives as sub-human idiots whose brains have turned to mush when it simply isn't so.
In fact I do believe that working women (who aren't good at managing home life) are doing a huge injustice upon their children.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
if both can and want to work and can support a "luxurious" lifestyle, then why is it even a problem? Who doesn't want a good lifestyle.
what just because you and mehnaz have said it then Iam suddenly meant to agree? I don't think so!
I am entitled to my own opinion and you yours so just leave it at that. No need to get so snippy about it.
And fyi, I agree that married women who just sit at home doing nothing all day are not really proper housewives anyway but that doesn't mean every single married woman at home will be like this! We just presume this to be so because there is a general belief that Pakistani women rely alot on outside help and just watch TV all day. That is a dangerous and very incorrect presumption because these women don't even represent 1/10th of the Pakistani female population. There are Pakistani housewives who do back breaking work to ensure their husbands and kids are fed, clothed and content 24/7! but no one has a single word of praise for them!
Iam not looking for a well done sticker. especially from you or anyone. I am giving my opinions about how career women have started to completely disregard housewives as sub-human idiots whose brains have turned to mush when it simply isn't so.
In fact I do believe that working women (who aren't good at managing home life) are doing a huge injustice upon their children.
Good post. Fully agree!
I am sorry if my comments offended you.
I am not generalizing, you mentioned supporting hubby, I put that in the minority. The majority is working just to support their current lifestyle which is living beyond their means. In this world of credit, it's no surprise.
That's the thing, how do you know it is the majority? It is a really tough economy right now. With more and more people losing their jobs, or doing a mediocre job after losing a good one, I imagine more couples are out working just to get by.....
That's the thing, how do you know it is the majority? It is a really tough economy right now. With more and more people losing their jobs, or doing a mediocre job after losing a good one, I imagine more couples are out working just to get by.....
Look, I am not labeling these people, I have no right to do that. The answer to all this mess is how did they end up like this? You know what I'm getting at right.
Usury system has destroyed many lives, no wonder it's haram.
To the housewives, A+ to you.
**To the working moms who bring up finance as an excuse: lower your standard of living, you don't require 5 bedroom house for 3 people nor do you need 2-3 cars.
(maybe 10% really need to work to pay off debt and whatnot then it's ok) the rest are just working because they need to pay for what they want not what they need.**
Not everyone wants to live with the bare minumum and there's nothing wrong with wanting to live a comfortable lifestyle where u can go abroad as often as u like or send ur kids to private school without worrying about the money.. It's funny when a desi guy wants an expensive house and a flash car he's called 'ambitious' but when a girl does she gets called 'greedy'..
Not everything is so black & white. Like someone else said, to each their own.
I agree with this. Your career, how much time and money you have invested in your education, the support of your spouse, etc., etc. all comes into play. Not everything is so black and white.... which is why I find posts in this forum amusing. There are no shades of gray ... just black and white.
Oh well.
Ufff… yeh topic abhi tak chal raha hai woh bhi garmaa garmi sai 
… buss karo larkiyon.
Do as you please and don’t care what other think, comments hurt temporarily but in the end its your life and your choice… others may pass judgments but humaara kiya jaata hai, ignore them.
Lets all take a deep breath, take a step back and chill. Go have ice creams all of you … and look on the bright side… spring is almost here 
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
^ i agree MIAnVA.
Re: What is so wrong with being a housewife?
why is wanting a good future for ur kids being called greedy and wanting to live out of ur means?
why is it so wrong for a wife to lift some pressure off their husband and help them financially? We have all seen our parents migrate to the west to give their kids the best, so why is it so wrong for us to do the same? with the way this world is going... why is it such a task to understand why a women works?
Not just women who are doctors or lawyers have an ambition.. simple beings like us.. who can be teachers, IT gurus, medical lab assistants... we all have an ambition to be where we are.. we've all studied and have wanted to succeed in different ways.
Why is that so difficult to understand?