Re: What if your wedding is simple??
i wouldnt mind a small wedding as long as it is extremely well organized with a beautiful setup all my loved ones and some really nice photos to reminisce on the special memories..
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
who's to say their way is wrong over your way? maybe they think you're nuts for NOT doing the same at your wedding.
hmm............i just think its a bad thing for society as a whole......to make it a 'norm' to spend all that money which is basically for 'showing off' or 'protecting your naak'......and serves no purpose......
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
SGC, darling you have taken the words right outta my mouth… 
i do agree though some people do get carried away, like that borderlines bridezilla but who cares, its none of YOUR business…just attend and enjoy urself jeez such a hoo haa about nothing 
OH and Nomi, my idea of NICE might not be the same as the person sitting next to me, so each to their own…Personally i dont believe i need to impress anyone with a lavish wedding, as long as IM happy thats pretty much the aim of the game 
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
hmm............i just think its a bad thing for society as a whole......to make it a 'norm' to spend all that money which is basically for 'showing off' or 'protecting your naak'......and serves no purpose......
i think society deserves more credit... if you're dumb enough to feel pressure to put on a lavish wedding, that you can't afford, because your neighbour, who could afford one, did, then your problems are far more severe than the loans you've taken out. i think weddings are an easy scapegoat because the money spent is so visible to all.
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
i think society deserves more credit... if you're dumb enough to feel pressure to put on a lavish wedding, that you can't afford, because your neighbour, who could afford one, did, then your problems are far more severe than the loans you've taken out. i think weddings are an easy scapegoat because the money spent is so visible to all.
If succumbing to societal pressure is 'dumb'.......then i am afraid 99% of people are dumb in this world....
But i think that you don't see any problem in this 'wedding extravaganza' thing....which i do....so lets leave it at that....
hmm...... i think i would not 'argue' anymore....thanks everybody for your responses...
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
I was just thinking the other day..
what if you end up having a very very very simple wedding.......by that i mean
only the two immediate family members..lets say 30-40 people.. Only simple clothes [normal party wear..nothing designer or bridal kaam wala jora] No big hall booked No grand feast No jewellery transfers No Suits/Joras transfers No Jahaiz No Bari/Vari No movie/professional photography
basically its just like anyother family get together....
1.)What will be the extent of emotional and psychologicala trauma that you will face?? ** Put yourself** into that position.......what will be your feelings??
and
**2.)what if all the money that was to be spent for the things i mentioned, is given to the couple so that they can begin their new life??
Please answer both questions..thank you :D **
That is exactly wht i want.. a simple wedding (but wth a good photographer) but my mom would never let tht happen.. i rather spend tht money on other more important stuff...
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
nothing else matters ...if you are marrying the person you love and want to spend your life with ...i would probably have a simple wedding and i am very much happy with it.
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
what if you end up having a very very very simple wedding.......by that i mean only the two immediate family members..lets say 30-40 people.. Only simple clothes [normal party wear..nothing designer or bridal kaam wala jora] No big hall booked No grand feast No jewellery transfers No Suits/Joras transfers No Jahaiz No Bari/Vari No movie/professional photography basically its just like anyother family get together.... 1.)What will be the extent of emotional and psychologicala trauma that you will face?? Put yourself into that position.......what will be your feelings?? and 2.)what if all the money that was to be spent for the things i mentioned, is given to the couple so that they can begin their new life?? Please answer both questions..thank you
Hmmm let's see..
For your first question...i'd say NO trauma at all...infact i'd be very happy... except for the part where you said 'simple clothes or partywear'... should be a little more than that..afterall i would be a bride...NOT designer made but more bridal-type.
2nd question you asked: Again...happy :)
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
we have big weddings on a budget...if you know what I mean...the family is big alhumdolilah so thats a lot of guests but clothes jewellry everything is done within our budget and we do most of the decor ourselves ..its a lot of running around,laughing,crying,but we have fun too and ppl are helpful
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
my wedding was grand but my walima was veryyyyyy simple
i am happy ALHUMDULILLAH ....IT DOES NOT MAKE HUGE DIFF IN LIFE
I think if you're truly happy with your partner and getting married with him/her, there would be no 'emotional and psychological' trauma. What matters is you're together now, despite having had a simple wedding due to circumstances. Having said that, if you are in a position to have a grand wedding, there is nothing wrong with both the groom and bride wanting to make it the best day in their lives, the point is that the function itself shouldn't take precedence over the act of marriage/union.
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
i think society deserves more credit... if you're dumb enough to feel pressure to put on a lavish wedding, that you can't afford, because your neighbour, who could afford one, did, then your problems are far more severe than the loans you've taken out. i think weddings are an easy scapegoat because the money spent is so visible to all.
exactly!!!
and forget succumbing to society, what about the bride who WANTS stuff at her wedding? Just because a girl doesn't want to get married in jeans and have all of her wedding photography from cell phone cam doesnt make her a bridezilla
And as for guests, even if it's just close family friends and friends and immediate relatives only, that adds up to alot of people easily.
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned this already, but the biggest evil in our society IMO is the lena dena/jahez bidness...giving gold and crap to the in laws (meanwhile girls family gets nothing) and its never worth it...NOT feeding your guests decent food and wearing nice clothes!
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
exactly!!!
and forget succumbing to society, what about the bride who WANTS stuff at her wedding? Just because a girl doesn't want to get married in jeans and have all of her wedding photography from cell phone cam doesnt make her a bridezilla
And as for guests, even if it's just close family friends and friends and immediate relatives only, that adds up to alot of people easily.
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned this already, but the biggest evil in our society IMO is the lena dena/jahez bidness...giving gold and crap to the in laws (meanwhile girls family gets nothing) and its never worth it...NOT feeding your guests decent food and wearing nice clothes!
giving gold to in-laws/.? how??????????
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
I didn’t want to do this…but couldn’t resist 
This 
for you in case you get mad…
[/quote]
Normal partywear doesn’t mean jeans does it?? and you can surely have some Digital Cameras in your family…and keep it real…
It was mentioned in the very first post
They get Vari/Bari and Valimay ka Jora..but look at this
Who doesn’t offer decent food on a family get together?? and not wear ‘nice clothes’…wats being talked about is…having 3-4 dishes for hundreds of people…and Bridal Joraas which cost like 10 times your normal partywear [nice clothes]…
P.S… THE QUESTION WAS WHAT WOULD BE YOUR REACTION IF SUCH A WEDDING TOOK PLACE ?
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
^^ haha
I will be perfectly fine with a simple wedding.
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
If succumbing to societal pressure is 'dumb'.......then i am afraid 99% of people are dumb in this world....
But i think that you don't see any problem in this 'wedding extravaganza' thing....which i do....so lets leave it at that....
hmm...... i think i would not 'argue' anymore....thanks everybody for your responses...
Who's arguing? We're having a discussion on an interesting topic, i.e. the whole point of GS, no?
the bari are gifts for the bride from her inlaws, like jaheyz is from her family. the lena/dena with the family is a whole another ballgame and i agree with Sara- thats a much bigger evil and puts far more pressure on families. everyone wants to do the best they can for the bride/groom but when you have to outfit and give gold to entire families and multiple siblings, thats when things start getting crazy.
i guess my problem with all of this though is how judge-y everyone is. it boggles my mind how people suddenly become ruling authorities on what is "appropriate" expenditure for *someone else's *wedding! its not your day! when you have yours, you celebrate exactly how you want- whether its Vegas in jeans, digital cameras, elvis, and a court marriage, or a 5 lakh Bunto jora in a posh hotel with world class decor, or something in the middle of the two. i really don't understand why people take it so personally when they see other people spending their hard-earned money, or *not *spending it, on a wedding.
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
Who's arguing? We're having a discussion on an interesting topic, i.e. the whole point of GS, no?
the bari are gifts for the bride from her inlaws, like jaheyz is from her family. the lena/dena with the family is a whole another ballgame and i agree with Sara- thats a much bigger evil and puts far more pressure on families. everyone wants to do the best they can for the bride/groom but when you have to outfit and give gold to entire families and multiple siblings, thats when things start getting crazy.
i guess my problem with all of this though is how judge-y everyone is. it boggles my mind how people suddenly become ruling authorities on what is "appropriate" expenditure for *someone else's *wedding! its not your day! when you have yours, you celebrate exactly how you want- whether its Vegas in jeans, digital cameras, elvis, and a court marriage, or a 5 lakh Bunto jora in a posh hotel with world class decor, or something in the middle of the two. i really don't understand why people take it so personally when they see other people spending their hard-earned money, or *not *spending it, on a wedding.
Very well said!! It's your ONE day to really out-do yourself and no one should say a thing! I doubt you can ever arrive a horse/limo/doli on any other day except your wedding, same with the clothes, jewls, presents and everything else. It's your day to look your very best, and if that's in jeans or super heavy lehnga, so be it! Obviously if you're spending more then you can afford then that's really your own stupidity.
Though it's too sad for the people who can't afford to do so, but are somewhat forced to put on a show to maintain a name with the in-laws, who expect things...which is pure ignorant! As if giving your daughter away isn't enough
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
err...... then why everyone is going crazy in all the other threads
SGC's reply to this is perfect.......
If most of the ladies are fine,ok,wishing the sort of wedding i proposed.....why don't you all do it simple??
Last I checked.... it is not simply our decision alone on how we want our wedding to be. Other people's opinions ....most importantly our parents.... inlaws ....and our significant other's are all taken into consideration when planning a wedding.
While some of us might want a simpler wedding... that might not be what our parents, inlaws or significant others want. And this should be respected and compromises need to be made.
Life is not so black and white :)
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
Also, just because someone splurges on their wedding, it doesn't mean that they spend this much money on all other aspects of their life!
I have been waiting for my wedding for a LONG time. My fiance and I will be paying for the entirety of the wedding. I've been financially independent since I was 18. I've been very careful to save money since then for my big day. Even now, I spend money VERY carefully because I'd rather have the extra money to spend on my wedding in the future than to splurge on an extra pair of shoes right now. I am a very careful saver with my money overall, and I know I will be like that for the rest of my life. My wedding is the ONE AND ONLY time in my life that I will be able to spend that much on myself and my family. Therefore I am more than happy to start saving now. I wouldn't have a problem with a simple wedding, but the thing is, I have been a shy, reserved, thrifty person my whole life. I want just ONE day where I don't have to be cheap and can spend money and enjoy having attention on me, my hubby, and my fam.
Just because people want to spend money on a wedding doesn't mean that they are wasteful spenders. Weddings are the one time in most peoples' lives that they get to splurge and spend money on themselves that they wouldn't otherwise. So long as it is within your means, what is wrong with that? What is wrong with having one day that you can be the centre of attention and spend on yourself?
I agree that it is wrong for people to go crazy in debt just to have a lavish wedding that will please 'society', but other than that, weddings are the most special time in most peoples' lives, so let them go all-out and enjoy it!
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
Who's arguing? We're having a discussion on an interesting topic, i.e. the whole point of GS, no?
This thread was about your 'reaction' if you were subjected to such a wedding.......the turn that the discussion has taken is an other topic.....and should be discussed in a separate thread..
thank you....
Re: What if your wedding is simple??
[QUOTE]
your 'reaction' if you were subjected to such a wedding.
[/QUOTE]
I will throw the mother of all tantrums. If there are going to be no dancing monkeys, ravens reciting Poe, and a herd of elephants performing Swan Lake, there will be no wedding.