what if you end up having a very very very simple wedding…by that i mean
only the two immediate family members..lets say 30-40 people..
Only simple clothes [normal party wear..nothing designer or bridal kaam wala jora]
No big hall booked
No grand feast
No jewellery transfers
No Suits/Joras transfers
No Jahaiz
No Bari/Vari
No movie/professional photography
basically its just like anyother family get together…
1.)What will be the extent of emotional and psychologicala trauma that you will face??
**
Put yourself** into that position…what will be your feelings??
and
**2.)what if all the money that was to be spent for the things i mentioned, is given to the couple so that they can begin their new life??
may be for the time being couple like the idea but people who will attend your wedding will remember it for the rest of their lives. and they will open up the pandora box when ever they want it to.
besides girls plan about shehzada sa dulha since their childhood, and to top it off disney enhances this idea after every 2-3 years with a release of non existencesome fairytale movie.
I think if you're truly happy with your partner and getting married with him/her, there would be no 'emotional and psychological' trauma. What matters is you're together now, despite having had a simple wedding due to circumstances. Having said that, if you are in a position to have a grand wedding, there is nothing wrong with both the groom and bride wanting to make it the best day in their lives, the point is that the function itself shouldn't take precedence over the act of marriage/union.
Our wedding was very simple (at least by today's standards). We did not have huge guest list and the setup was quite humble. Biggest reason of it was because we funded our own wedding and both of us were recent graduates and very broke financially.
may be for the time being couple like the idea but people who will attend your wedding will remember it for the rest of their lives. and they will open up the pandora box when ever they want it to.
besides girls plan about shehzada sa dulha since their childhood, and to top it off disney enhances this idea after every 2-3 years with a release of non existencesome fairytale movie.
People remember marriages not weddings. As long you are not ashamed about adopting simplicity, what people may say or think should not matter to you. You may spend every penny you own trying to impress 'people' in a sad hope that they'll remember your wedding day, but those very same individuals one day could attend a wedding 10xs more lavish than yours.
I've been to very well organised and lavish enough weddings yet I don't see any point remembering them or talking about them, however its my friends simple menhdi done in her living room that I count as one of the most fun and memorable function of my life.
what if you end up having a very very very simple wedding.......by that i mean
only the two immediate family members..lets say 30-40 people..
Only simple clothes [normal party wear..nothing designer or bridal kaam wala jora]
No big hall booked
No grand feast
No jewellery transfers
No Suits/Joras transfers
No Jahaiz
No Bari/Vari
No movie/professional photography
basically its just like anyother family get together....
1.)What will be the extent of emotional and psychologicala trauma that you will face??
Put** yourself** into that position.......what will be your feelings??
and
2.)what if all the money that was to be spent for the things i mentioned, is given to the couple so that they can begin their new life??
Please answer both questions..thank you :D
1) I would be happy with it. The only thing I might be a bit miffed about would be the pictures. I would want beautiful pictures of such a happy moment in our lives...to capture it forever in way. I want to pass them on to my children and have them look at their parents' wedding pictures the way I look at my parents'.
wow YOU make it sound like that would be the end of the world or somthing we may seem like a materialistic bunch of bridezillas with our designer joras and expensive jewellery but to be honest…we could probably settle for the wedding u described
If your marrying the man you love and ur surrounded by the people who love you then it doesnt matter if you have a big wedding or small…all its takes is family, some friends, the kabools…thank you for coming and have a safe trip home folks!
however there are 2 things i wud disagree with…
not having photography/videography
the number of guests…i think at least 50 (allowing for 10 friends)
oh and if i was given the money then it would be put towards the new house
what if you end up having a very very very simple wedding.......by that i mean
only the two immediate family members..lets say 30-40 people..
Only simple clothes [normal party wear..nothing designer or bridal kaam wala jora]
No big hall booked
No grand feast
No jewellery transfers
No Suits/Joras transfers
No Jahaiz
No Bari/Vari
No movie/professional photography
basically its just like anyother family get together....
1.)What will be the extent of emotional and psychologicala trauma that you will face??
**
Put yourself** into that position.......what will be your feelings??
and
**2.)what if all the money that was to be spent for the things i mentioned, is given to the couple so that they can begin their new life??
Please answer both questions..thank you :D
**
Ideally, that what it is supposed to be like if you follow the traditional reeti rivaaj. however the matter of Jahaiz and Hak Merr would still be included. in this day and age because humans have a desire to outdo the next person, its highly impossible. BUT, if someone was to do that then i would admire them. it just goes to show that in this competitive day and age, you can have a simplistic wedding.
If the money was to be given to the couple so they can start a new life - again it depends on their mentality. if i was the groom and my parents wer proper kanjoos and did that and said "putthar heres 10k which we didnt dspend on the wedding", id be like "YEAH! im gonna have a party of my own". but you can get the SHAREEF LATIF who will say thanks and invest or save etc etc. so theres pros and cons.
Trauma?? not even a hint of trauma! Your list sounds like the intimate event that my parents hosted for my nikah - the whole event was planned in the space of 2 weeks, the only extravagance was that I had my hair and make-up done. It was definitely a day to remember and even though we had the big wedding reception 8 months later, my husband and I still celebrate that first day as our anniversary.
With regards to wedding photos/movie, we didn't have a professional but my mum had her camcorder and everyone else was snapping away taking pics.
w.e u mentioned is the real islamic way a wedding is supposed to happen. However, it is not practices as our culture thrives off of weddings and bidah traditions. I know a couple that had an islamic ..as you would say " simple" wedding..and used the money to start their lives..and a family...mA their one of the most blessed couples because they have allahs barkath.
Im not going to say that this way is Absolutely the way to go..since i do want to have a nice wedding. However inshallah i plan to remain in my limits and not spend unnecessarily
Our wedding was very simple (at least by today's standards). We did not have huge guest list and the setup was quite humble. Biggest reason of it was because we funded our own wedding and both of us were recent graduates and very broke financially.
you must be very young when you got married
me and my fiance have decided that we will fund our wedding our self..its not that our parents cant afford or anything like that...Its just both of us want it this way
what if you end up having a very very very simple wedding.......by that i mean
only the two immediate family members..lets say 30-40 people..
Only simple clothes [normal party wear..nothing designer or bridal kaam wala jora]
No big hall booked
No grand feast
No jewellery transfers
No Suits/Joras transfers
No Jahaiz
No Bari/Vari
No movie/professional photography
basically its just like anyother family get together....
1.)What will be the extent of emotional and psychologicala trauma that you will face??
**
Put yourself** into that position.......what will be your feelings??
and
**2.)what if all the money that was to be spent for the things i mentioned, is given to the couple so that they can begin their new life??
Please answer both questions..thank you :D
**
1.) absolutely NO emotional/psychological trauma whatsover.... I would instead feel relief!!!
.... but I would definitely want pictures and video of my event... not matter how simple it is. Memories are forever and something that can be shown to children and then grandchildren... passed down from one generation to another.
And rather than 2 immediate family members.. i would still want to give the invitation out to the whole family since they are FAMILY... and what is a shaadi without family?? Plus ... since all of my relatives live in other countries and extremely far from me.... im sure the guest list would still remain minimal. But I would not sacrifice the chance of a cousin being able to attend my wedding along with her/his parents.
I would also want my closest and dearest friends to attend... like 6????? 10 max.
I would be completely content and satisfied if the shaadi was done as how you outlined with the few adjustments I made. :D
2) I think that is the way it should be...and it would extremely generous and amazing of the parents to give the money to us. What my parents give me - I would put it towards our house and put the rest in savings....
err...... then why everyone is going crazy in all the other threads
wow YOU make it sound like that would be the end of the world or somthing we may seem like a materialistic bunch of bridezillas with our designer joras and expensive jewellery but to be honest.....we could probably settle for the wedding u described
yeah.......thats the point......if you could settle for simple things.......wouldn't it all be so nice and easy??
I see people freaking out about their marriage, the clothes, the joras, the cake, the hall, the jewellery and all that.......wasting so much money.......why??
i see the threads in this forum........and it all looks like its a matter of life and death to these ladies.....someone's life was over, someone was missing out on 'shoping for the wedding' etc etc..
If most of the ladies are fine,ok,wishing the sort of wedding i proposed.....why don't you all do it simple??
If most of the ladies are fine,ok,wishing the sort of wedding i proposed.....why don't you all do it simple??
Good Question! InshaAllah I plan to have such a stingy wedding that will probably cut of our nose and so we will not be able to show our face in public again. sigh
InshaAllah our Haq Halaal ki kamai can go towards our first home :)
Its sad to see the extent that people will go to in order to fund such weddings. I mean if you are blessed with such money then its of course a matter of choice and affordability. But if you are not, its not the end of the world and one should not sell ones self or dignity just for a days 'waah waah'
we may seem like a materialistic bunch of bridezillas with our designer joras and expensive jewellery but to be honest…we could probably settle for the wedding u described 