What if your wedding is simple??

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

I dont mind a simple wedding but yes wod want my loved ones and friends to be there. It can be in a mosque no problem and dress shud b diff to wut I wear on a daily basis so I can look different on my special day :=)

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So if someone says that, yes, they'd be upset, are they going to be materialistic bridezillas?

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i dont mind simple wedding either, i just want my family and frnds to be with me,they make me happy and special :) AND i am planing to go for a simple wedding.

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hehe same here farah way to goo woo hoo :P

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

u know main is that u should be happy for ur wedding
number of guest one side save ur money that mostly all ppl will like the idea, but 30-40 or 100 depend on ur family like may ur family is big or small...my all anuts & uncles with their kids which r my intimate family r arround 60 ppl + atleast 20 family freinds & freinds that we cant ignore them for sharing our day wth them so 70-80 will be for sure from my side & my hubby also have near 120 close relatives so u can say 200 from both side that all r dear & near & u cant never skip them ...but may ur close family is only 30...

i like idea of being creative to have unique wedding with ur lovely & artistic ideas,....for me im planing make my own wedding card-decore i designed myself & my freinds will apply for me...even event photograpger will be my cousin whom will learn how to work with my cam & taking ideas from creative pics! but wedding shoot & movie is the one ill spend for it anyhow as its all abt my day memories....food can be simple...hall can exchnage with any big home that will contain ur number of guest...stage can decoare with ur own freinds & designs...matter is that how u r happy ...u want spend or not...ahan bridal dress can be by any tailor but its houldb be wedding type im not same as thoes guest who r coming to my wedding!

so i can save but with doing more on my own than giving to a planner...so mean taking money from my own art not by skiping my wishes...

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

No I was not. actually I was 29 when I got married. When I said graduated, I meant Masters

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

I recently saw a groom and bride all dressed up with their family (10 of them) having a nice dinner out in a desi resturant. They had their nikkah at the masjid. It was their wedding day and both looked happy and radiant and there was no trauma in site.

contrary to popular belief or this forum :) there are tons of simple weddings by sheer preference, family values, financial setup. It would surprise you how many people get married at court houses. (even desi ones).

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^yeh, I think GS gives some people a warped perspective.

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

My nikkah was done very simple, i wore a dress I already owned and it was done in the masjid and everyone had iftari after.
Would I mind such a wedding? no
do I want a big/nice wedding? Yes
why? well I guess I want to look like a bride (red, outdone)something I can never look like again in my life. Girls love the idea of decorating, nice clothes etc etc. So the idea of having a big wedding with people and hall is attractive to some, while others really don't bother stressing over it (props to them! good for you) It's the sunnah way and the best way to have it done that way. Sometimes i think about it myself and think why not have a small gathering and still do the whole bride thing, but then I think "what if i regret it later for not doing it" lol. But I am def. not into the idea of spending forever worth of money on a dress that I'll wear once, i wouldn't mind wearing something that already worn (though my family seems to think it'll be the end of the world if i do, so I'm still looking) and i don't plan to buy lots of gold or recieve gold from my in-laws because I prefer to wear artifical stuff anyways, so why bother? just to show-sha? no thanks! same for clothes...I'm getting 10 pairs made that I can wear to dawats and stuff, other then that nothing! I have a lot of simple clothes and plus you make clothes through out anyways.
Pakistan has these insane trends of making 1000 dress, with matching clothes, and then giving a bedroom set and this and that...just so everyone can say WAH WAH!

My personal oppinion, at the end of the day people really forget about the "wedding" because thet will always attend OR see something better. I attended 4 weddings in one year, the one i remember the most is one of my friends who chose to have it in her house. we all had such good time putting mehndi on, working on things like gift wrapping, looking at clothes and presents,party favors, food and all that. It was great. Two weddings i attended in pakistan of my cousins, one of which was quite lavishing..over the top! I don't recall much of the wedding but the days before the wedding and after.

I end this huge essay with a convo that took place with my Dad few days back.
he said: "why care what people will say, people will not live your life for you. Do you know why abu-talib (Prophet s.a.w's uncle) didn't convert to islam, even after knowing that it was a true religion? because he said "log kiya kahay gain"

the end :D

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

I'm marrying a non-desi so I won't be getting that stuff anyway.. I couldn't care less..

The photography thing wouldn't bother me either, tbh I think it would be quite good fun if all the guests and relatives took snaps and we made a scrapbook instead..

I would like a nice outfit :D (wouldn't have to be designer or expensive tho)

Tbh if money was tight I'd rather put it towards a deposit on a house or something practical that would be used long-term rather than blowing all on one big day, can never understand the mentality of having a wedding u can't really afford by begging family members for money, taking loans all over the place then having to spend the next 5yrs paying it off.. Course some people choose to have a simple wedding just cos that's their preference and I always think 'good for them.'

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

if its all fine...then am i seeing things in other threads?...because i think the very existence of this category in the forum is an evidence of the 'importance' of having a fancy wedding, sharing ideas how to make it more fancy,expensive,lavish,waah waah 'able.....

and also in real life...i see women freaking out about marriage.......like its the most important thing EVER...

could someone explain this contradiction to me??

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i'd hope i'd be a part of the decision regarding why the wedding was so extreme in its simplicity, and therefore, would be happy about going through with it.

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

you’re seeing a bunch of girls getting excited about a pretty important event in their lives. ideas on how to make things look pretty and/or different don’t always equate to spending a ton of money, or translate to reality i.e. they WILL spend a ton of money. but there’s nothing wrong in ooh’ing and aah’ing over the things we’d love to have, even if we know its unrealistic to think about them. i would have loved a pair of jimmy choo’s at my wedding but would i have considered spending $800 on them? not at all! doesn’t mean i can’t appreciate them on the bride that can and does.

its just conversation and collaboration for the most part. there will always be people who take things to extremes in life… that’s just the way people are. some people will opt for a civil marriage with no fanfare, and some will take loans out and hire jugglers, fire eaters and elephants for their big day. its such a personal decision- none of us are really capable of judging someone else’s behaviour.

and quite frankly, yes, marriage IS the most important thing ever. the foundation of our conventional society etc., no? you disagree with this? you don’t think men think this way? i think what this forum is vastly guilty of is stereotypes. i don’t know if this is a cultural thing bleeding through or if we’re just fond of painting people into boxes, but i hear very little from men regarding how they view weddings and marriage, outside of the random hero who wanders through with his “if my wife wears red/doesn’t listen to my mom/isn’t happy with aloo gosht at the reception etc. then i’m going to beat her” comments. :rolleyes: :stuck_out_tongue:

my brother got married last summer and there were some things he did care about- he had a specific vision for how he wanted his wedding day to be, to an extent- and other things he couldn’t be bothered with. my husband and i both planned our wedding together- again, he has his own taste too in certain things, so i couldn’t just walk in and dictate the entire affair- and to be honest, neither did i want to. its a ****load of pressure for one person to handle, and so long as marriage is about two people, so should planning a wedding be.

i think a lot, if not all, guys are like that. everyone has their preferences in life- so lets hear it from the boys for once. what mattered to you about your wedding day, or will matter to you if it hasn’t happened yet? not the kind of wife you want, but seriously speaking, what kind of wedding do you want, and what are the things you’re just happy to let your bride-to-be decide?

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

I see nothing wrong with simple Weddings. I actuall have great respect for the simple things in life.

The only reason a lot of people do the Dhoom Tham weddings is to make a show.

I remember how I wanted a simple one... but becuase of social status and the pressure of fammily I had to concede to a tiresome and gruelling 6 hour noise fest.

I found it all very tedius at first but you sort of get swept along by the tidal wave of people who seem to enjoy it.

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

^ you need to open a thread for that.....

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

I don't want my parents to invite the whole world anyways so i'd be happy if there are a few people ( people who will genuinely be happy for me not 2 faced people)
simple clothes: Well I wouldn't want to wear clothes that I wear on a daily basis on my wedding.
The outfit has to be niceeeeee.
A small hall at a nice hotel would do.
I'm fine with a small menu as long as my jewellery and dress are special :@:
I wouldn't compromise on the no post wedding kapre now that would be a bit too extreme.
Professional photographer has to be there. I can skip the videographer

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

see majority of the people here wouldnt mind a simple wedding, but MOST weddings are not actually planned by the groom/bride......its got FAMILY involvement....and when families get involved....things tend to get outta control......

but i agree with someone who said its not a bad idea to want a NICE wedding, u only get to do this once and if u can afford it/want the buzz of organising it then to be honest this thread is a whole load of bollox :D

outta lala land...and into reality please!......

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Re: What if your wedding is simple??

a) That sounds perfect. I'm not a people person anyway, and don't want to spend an important day of my life fidgeting because a tonne of aunties are trying to nit-pick whatever I choose to do/wear, or people with cell phones taking pictures of me which I wouldn't be to tell to buzz off. I'd want to be surrounded by my loved ones and that's enough for me. (Though some photography would be preferred and some really really luxurious chocolate for treats instead of mithaai) I'd feel relaxed, happier and genuinely more in-tuned to the whole procession rather than a Matryoshka doll on the last nerve...that too in the limelight!

b) That sounds fun!

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you mean NICE means lavish expenses, materialistic wealth showing off event...right?

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^ but why is spending money automatically materialistic/distasteful/offensive? after a while, it starts to sound a wee bit like sour grapes, you might say....

some people are wealthier than others. so it stands to reason the standards they follow would be different- some might say, higher- too. isn't it all just perspective? i think i had a pretty decent wedding- nothing OTT, all done tastefully and within our budget- but just because our budget was $X amount, doesn't mean the next person's is. so they might think we had a crazy asspensive wedding, but there we are, thinking it was perfect and not $$$$.

you gotta compare apples to apples, and comparing weddings of the upper crust who spend $$$$ and the middle class who spend $$ just isn't very fair.

some folks think weddings are the one day in your life you get to go all-out and spend whatever money you can get your hands on, in any way you can- so, there's loans and credit lines being taken out, designer joras being shopped for, 700 person guest lists, 10-course seated dinners, etc.
who's to say their way is wrong over your way? maybe they think you're nuts for NOT doing the same at your wedding.