Re: What if he’s not a virgin?
u know other than the whole “ameircan girls are bad/pakistanis are good” you talk alot of sense most of the time. 
Re: What if he’s not a virgin?
sense and me don,t go together lol!. i was just trying to be nice guy in girls eyes:mocking: …
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
i dont know, i wud just want my wife to be pure and innocent like myself, i wud lose respect for a girl who went around dating and having sex.
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
wat kind of a girl would do that.......specially if she is paki...
and afridi don't u worry i will find u a nice and pure girl jus like u...:p
Re: What if he’s not a virgin?
Sighz. What a typical pakistani mentality some of you people have 
I have had dozens of discussions on this topic with many people 
Anyway, I dont think I would ever ask such a question to a girl nor would I ever try to find out. The only thing that matters is the emotional attraction/click. If she would tell me by herself, its even more of a reason to love that person. Because this means He or she in my case is willing to share everything with me. If that person and I clicked, I would never bring such a topic up to discuss.
edit/ crap she was asking girls
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
^I wud ask if she dated or not, not the sex thing, thats a little too forward, but if i found out later that she had, then i would certainly lose the respect i had for her.
Re: What if he’s not a virgin?
Perhaps I would too.
But maybe I am a bit naive 
. I believe there are certain type of people who do certain type of things. For example, if I would meet a girl somewhere who was flirting with me all the time without any other sort of dicussion or topic or just talk to mein a normal manner, I would never ask that person on a date.
It s kinda heard to explain because I m sooo sleepy :aq: But I hope you understand where I m getting at
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
^ bhai aap barey ho gaey hain. Yeh baroon ka thread hai, kya samjhey bhai sahab :D
Re: What if he’s not a virgin?
hahahaha, bhaijaan, kuch din neeno poori nain howi na, to isterhaan ke ilfaaz nikalte hain
Waise kaha tha na, 10 saal pehle barra hogya tha
Re: What if he’s not a virgin?
Mehnaz bibi, tu ve menu chhad ditta? mein tay ithey dil diyan gallan kar riyan haan.. You have always been on my side regardless how tough the tide was against me but now you have chosen to distance yourself from my arguments.. 
agree or not, I believe my arguments have some weight. I haven’t insulted any woman in particular. Hair rabba ai ki ho gaya gupshup nu? Recenlty I celebrated my 4 years on gupshup with a small cake and now, this… 
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
First of Losing virignity before marriage is not allowed from islamic point of view...secondly...everyone is different so it all depend on a girl who is abt to marry him....wether she is comfortable with this situation of hers or not...coZ its something personal ...afterall...she is the one who will be living with him...so its pointless to ask others coz everyone thinks differently according to their own preference in life. In simple words...its a very private matter...
AshKhan...
Re: What if he’s not a virgin?
:k:
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
I better stay out of this thread and keep my views to my self, cause anything I say will be held against me in the court of in-laws.
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatahu,
The issue that our sister Natalia has inquired about is a very serious and tough issue in consideration of the sister who somehow unveiled the unfortunate truth about her husband to be. I shall attempt to answer this question in light of Islamic teachings and philosophies. First of all I would like to re-introduce the powerful verse from Surah Al Baqarah verse 284:
“To Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth; and whether you disclose what is in your minds or keep it hidden, Allah will call you to account for it, then will He forgive whomsoever He pleases, and punish whomsoever He pleases; and Allah has the power to do all that He wills.”
If that specific husband to be committed the immorality of engaging in sexual intercourse, before his marriage, indicates that he was only after satisfying his passion for physical pleasure, whose immodest act is indeed very unholy as well as socially and biologically harmful if committed with regularity. Yet, this act might have left a great imprint of remorse upon his heart, after realizing that this lustful pursuit led to nothing but trouble, both spiritually and physically. His repentant heart might have found acceptance in the eyes of Almighty Allah, and considering the weakness of man and his natural bent upon unrighteousness, Allah the Exalted might afford the succor of mercy and forgiveness to such a one who turned towards Him in repentance, humility, hope, and fear, such is the way of Allah Ta’Alaa, for He is Most Forgiving and is the Most Merciful of those who alight mercy. This is the purpose of referring to the above verse, only Allah Ta’Alaa is ‘Alimul Ghaib Washahadah, the Knower of the Unseen and the Seen (59:22).
In whatever manner the Muslimah found out about his past sin, she should be of those who possess high resolve, if she really relies upon Allah the Exalted and Allah alone, and should forgive, for according to the Noble Qur’an pardoning of evils and injustices is the better course to follow than observing retaliation, and mercy is the best course. In fact there is a Hadith of the Holy Prophet (saw) that he who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy by Allah, this message is also in the Glorious Qur’an (24:22). Again the Holy Qur’an reminds us that those who believe and put their complete trust in their Lord forgive others even when they are under the influence and fire of anger (42:37). Such is the lofty caliber of forgiveness, which the Qur’an teaches.
Alas, we find in the Holy Qur’an a verse that deals directly with the issue at hand:
“O ye who believe! surely, among your wives and your children are some who are your enemies, so beware of them. And if you overlook and forgive and pardon, then, surely, Allah is Most Forgiving, ever Merciful.”(64:14)
Thus the Quran teaches that if the person about whom your intentions are fixed for marriage commits a sin to such an extent that he is likened as an enemy, the true believers should follow the Sunnah of Allah and should overlook their fault and forgive them.
It is true that if you are chaste and modest, you should expect your future husband to have reserved his integrity and purity, but this is not really a promise, it is more like a privilege. Remember again that some of us commit actions which we regret and so if his goodness seems to outweigh his faults, do please forgive him and also ask forgiveness on his behalf, perhaps Allah TA’Alaa will show mercy, indeed He is the Most Merciful and Most Forgiving, especially to the believers. Do not haunt him for his mistake if he is truly repentant. Just take into regards how you would feel if he judged you of a previous sin that you might have committed, and went so far as to break his relation with you, whilst you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him. Your strivings in preserving your chastity has its rewards with Allah the Exalted alone, He sees all things well.
In the end I request that you pray to Allah and seek His guidance on this matter, for He alone knows the truth of every situation.
"When the young men betook themselves to the Cave for refuge they said, 'Our Lord, bestow on us mercy from Thyself, and furnish us with right guidance in our affair.'”(18:10)
Otherwise if he seems not to be remorseful about it and would probably do it again, then you should seek Allah’s blessings and should depart from such a sinful person, surely Allah will afford you with a much better man, whose steadfastness, high resolve and firmness on the path of Allah is stronger and more important than a physical act of pleasure.
JazakAllah.
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
The issue that our sister Natalia has inquired about is a very serious and tough issue in consideration of the sister who somehow unveiled the unfortunate truth about her husband to be. I shall attempt to answer this question in light of Islamic teachings and philosophies. First of all I would like to re-introduce the powerful verse from Surah Al Baqarah verse 284:
“To Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth; and whether you disclose what is in your minds or keep it hidden, Allah will call you to account for it, then will He forgive whomsoever He pleases, and punish whomsoever He pleases; and Allah has the power to do all that He wills.”
If that specific husband to be committed the immorality of engaging in sexual intercourse, before his marriage, indicates that he was only after satisfying his passion for physical pleasure, whose immodest act is indeed very unholy as well as socially and biologically harmful if committed with regularity. Yet, this act might have left a great imprint of remorse upon his heart, after realizing that this lustful pursuit led to nothing but trouble, both spiritually and physically. His repentant heart might have found acceptance in the eyes of Almighty Allah, and considering the weakness of man and his natural bent upon unrighteousness, Allah the Exalted might afford the succor of mercy and forgiveness to such a one who turned towards Him in repentance, humility, hope, and fear, such is the way of Allah Ta’Alaa, for He is Most Forgiving and is the Most Merciful of those who alight mercy. This is the purpose of referring to the above verse, only Allah Ta’Alaa is ‘Alimul Ghaib Washahadah, the Knower of the Unseen and the Seen (59:22).
In whatever manner the Muslimah found out about his past sin, she should be of those who possess high resolve, if she really relies upon Allah the Exalted and Allah alone, and should forgive, for according to the Noble Qur’an pardoning of evils and injustices is the better course to follow than observing retaliation, and mercy is the best course. In fact there is a Hadith of the Holy Prophet (saw) that he who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy by Allah, this message is also in the Glorious Qur’an (24:22). Again the Holy Qur’an reminds us that those who believe and put their complete trust in their Lord forgive others even when they are under the influence and fire of anger (42:37). Such is the lofty caliber of forgiveness, which the Qur’an teaches. Alas, we find in the Holy Qur’an a verse that deals directly with the issue at hand:
“O ye who believe! surely, among your wives and your children are some who are your enemies, so beware of them. And if you overlook and forgive and pardon, then, surely, Allah is Most Forgiving, ever Merciful.”(64:14)
Thus the Quran teaches that if the person about whom your intentions are fixed for marriage commits a sin to such an extent that he is likened as an enemy, the true believers should follow the Sunnah of Allah and should overlook their fault and forgive them.
It is true that if you are chaste and modest, you should expect your future husband to have reserved his integrity and purity, but this is not really a promise, it is more like a privilege. Remember again that some of us commit actions which we regret and so if his goodness seems to outweigh his faults, do please forgive him and also ask forgiveness on his behalf, perhaps Allah TA’Alaa will show mercy, indeed He is the Most Merciful and Most Forgiving, especially to the believers. Do not haunt him for his mistake if he is truly repentant. Just take into regards how you would feel if he judged you of a previous sin that you might have committed, and went so far as to break his relation with you, whilst you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him. Your strivings in preserving your chastity has its rewards with Allah the Exalted alone, He sees all things well.
In the end I request that you pray to Allah and seek His guidance on this matter, for He alone knows the truth of every situation.
"When the young men betook themselves to the Cave for refuge they said, 'Our Lord, bestow on us mercy from Thyself, and furnish us with right guidance in our affair.'”(18:10)
Otherwise if he seems not to be remorseful about it and would probably do it again, then you should seek Allah’s blessings and should depart from such a sinful person, surely Allah will afford you with a much better man, whose steadfastness, high resolve and firmness on the path of Allah is stronger and more important than a physical act of pleasure.
JazakAllah.
thanks for the post :)
i always look forward to reading posts that are in light of the Quran and Sunnah. To bad some ppl dont follow it but it's always a good reminder nonetheless.
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
i know its different wen u meet a girl whose lost her virginity and wen u meet a guy whose lost his virginity but then again this is the new generation and ppl shud cum to think of it tht everyone shud be treated equally so y dont u go ask him how he'd react if he was in the same position and found out that ud lost ur virginity even if u didnt but u shud kno his point of view and i guess u shud tel him how u feel and decide TOGETHER wat u guys wanna do about it...
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
I dont think the issue here is virginity, its him being dishonest. And if it mattered so much to the girl she should have asked.
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
The issue that our sister Natalia has inquired about is a very serious and tough issue in consideration of the sister who somehow unveiled the unfortunate truth about her husband to be. I shall attempt to answer this question in light of Islamic teachings and philosophies. First of all I would like to re-introduce the powerful verse from Surah Al Baqarah verse 284:
“To Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth; and whether you disclose what is in your minds or keep it hidden, Allah will call you to account for it, then will He forgive whomsoever He pleases, and punish whomsoever He pleases; and Allah has the power to do all that He wills.”
If that specific husband to be committed the immorality of engaging in sexual intercourse, before his marriage, indicates that he was only after satisfying his passion for physical pleasure, whose immodest act is indeed very unholy as well as socially and biologically harmful if committed with regularity. Yet, this act might have left a great imprint of remorse upon his heart, after realizing that this lustful pursuit led to nothing but trouble, both spiritually and physically. His repentant heart might have found acceptance in the eyes of Almighty Allah, and considering the weakness of man and his natural bent upon unrighteousness, Allah the Exalted might afford the succor of mercy and forgiveness to such a one who turned towards Him in repentance, humility, hope, and fear, such is the way of Allah Ta’Alaa, for He is Most Forgiving and is the Most Merciful of those who alight mercy. This is the purpose of referring to the above verse, only Allah Ta’Alaa is ‘Alimul Ghaib Washahadah, the Knower of the Unseen and the Seen (59:22).
In whatever manner the Muslimah found out about his past sin, she should be of those who possess high resolve, if she really relies upon Allah the Exalted and Allah alone, and should forgive, for according to the Noble Qur’an pardoning of evils and injustices is the better course to follow than observing retaliation, and mercy is the best course. In fact there is a Hadith of the Holy Prophet (saw) that he who does not show mercy to others, will not be shown mercy by Allah, this message is also in the Glorious Qur’an (24:22). Again the Holy Qur’an reminds us that those who believe and put their complete trust in their Lord forgive others even when they are under the influence and fire of anger (42:37). Such is the lofty caliber of forgiveness, which the Qur’an teaches. Alas, we find in the Holy Qur’an a verse that deals directly with the issue at hand:
“O ye who believe! surely, among your wives and your children are some who are your enemies, so beware of them. And if you overlook and forgive and pardon, then, surely, Allah is Most Forgiving, ever Merciful.”(64:14)
Thus the Quran teaches that if the person about whom your intentions are fixed for marriage commits a sin to such an extent that he is likened as an enemy, the true believers should follow the Sunnah of Allah and should overlook their fault and forgive them.
It is true that if you are chaste and modest, you should expect your future husband to have reserved his integrity and purity, but this is not really a promise, it is more like a privilege. Remember again that some of us commit actions which we regret and so if his goodness seems to outweigh his faults, do please forgive him and also ask forgiveness on his behalf, perhaps Allah TA’Alaa will show mercy, indeed He is the Most Merciful and Most Forgiving, especially to the believers. Do not haunt him for his mistake if he is truly repentant. Just take into regards how you would feel if he judged you of a previous sin that you might have committed, and went so far as to break his relation with you, whilst you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him. Your strivings in preserving your chastity has its rewards with Allah the Exalted alone, He sees all things well.
In the end I request that you pray to Allah and seek His guidance on this matter, for He alone knows the truth of every situation.
"When the young men betook themselves to the Cave for refuge they said, 'Our Lord, bestow on us mercy from Thyself, and furnish us with right guidance in our affair.'”(18:10)
Otherwise if he seems not to be remorseful about it and would probably do it again, then you should seek Allah’s blessings and should depart from such a sinful person, surely Allah will afford you with a much better man, whose steadfastness, high resolve and firmness on the path of Allah is stronger and more important than a physical act of pleasure.
JazakAllah.
Nice post :)
Now if people could apply this to girls rather than ONLY boys, the y could claim to call themselves Muslim. :o
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
The world is not fair, it has never been and it will never be. All we can do is accept that.
Re: What if he's not a virgin?
honesty and chastity is written on people's face.
how they act, what they state.
and how they come close.
and there is a lot can do about this, if u are in a situation in which u know that the person u believe in is not chaste.
it will be very sad for that person, who tells me that he is chaste but in real he is not.