Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
and next time KORN anybody hits your daughter hit him/her back. Never take anything on your child. How dare she hit your daughter ? All manners , etiquettes , mahman nawazi and insaniyaat can go to hell ......Never Ever bear something like that for your child.
Like Iyla said keep a baseball bat with you & use it or call the police next time anyone does that to your daughter.
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
dear u dont know wat happened after that 
i pulled her duputta and threw her on the floor and cursed her, if u dare come close to my daughter, i will cut ur hands and shove up ur…
holy lord . korn666 ypu are jannati man you have put up with so much , inshallah allah swt will reward you in the after life.
but yaar zulm sehna bhi haraam hota hai and all this hitting is zulm . you can leave trust me your life will get better , your daughters can still have their father but you dont need to be his wife.
he doesnt deserve you.
as for the 2nd wife urghhh i could so kick her what a cow how dare she hit u and ur child.
Korn, as I was reading this thread my mouth literally fell open in horror. I can’t believe the BS and torment you have had to deal with. Just leave him, please. He honestly does not deserve you and it would be better for you and your daughters to go back to your parents. I know you’re saying you don’t want to worry them but seriously you need the emotional support. Who do you turn to right now if you’re keeping this from your family? Do you have any close friends that you can talk to?
Did you tell your husband (I use the term loosely here) that his 2nd wife hit his child? If he loves his kids like you said I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be best pleased with her. Actually you know what? he doesn’t have a right to YOUR children anyway. He wasn’t even supporting you when you had your second child…it’s his DUTY to do that even if you were seperated. If I were you I’d tell him to feck off and to take his 2nd wife with him. Oh and what can I say about that evil witch of a MIL you have? Trust me, you don’t need this headache when you should be focussing on bringing up your daughters.
I admire your strength but no-one and I mean no-one should have to deal with this. Just leave this mess behind, it’s the best choice for you and your children 
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
okay thread ki munasbat se, i will tell u something about one of my very good friends “F”. we both were in same Uni, she was the most nazuk one in our group. very beautiful, long hair, big eyes , very decent, not loud at all, hans mukh and polite etc.
she was proposed to by this guy at her work. she told him that he should talk to her parents. she didnt want to have any affair kind of thing so she straight fwdly told him the right way to approach her . the guy went to her house with family and after usual stuff, in short, they succeeded in achieving their pupose.
After engagement the guy n in laws started showing some of their true colors but like what happens in our homes, chalo koi nahin, shadi k baad theek ho jaey ga. or who is peferct blah blah blah. the guy was liar too, he would give false hopes to F that he truly loves her and she should not give ears to what his mom n sis says etc. F thot chalo at least her hubby is caring n on her side.
After marriage, the guy and the in laws showed their REAL evil faces. MIL has done hajj if i remember correctly. “F” has one nand who is a divorcee with two kids and staying at her mom. these two ladies, MIL and SIL made her life hell soon after marriage. husband only listens to and takes his mother’s side. “F” calls him “maa ka khassam”.
When F was 6-6 1/2 months pregnant, one day she told her hubby that she wanted to see “U”(our other common friend) coz U’s 1st son died within 10 days of birth. hubby said he will let her go if his mother allows 
in short she was given permission with condition that she will come back within an hour. “F” left and obviously it took her more than one hour, actually 3 hrs. to come back. She found her MIL waiting for her. MIL said where were you all this time? F said i told you ammi jee i was at U’s home. sorry i got late but there was so much traffic on the way and one hr. was not possible. MIL said well then you go and stay with your friend, yahan kiya lainay aaiee ho? " She took F from her arm and zabardasti pushed her out from the main door and closed the gate. This all happened right infront of her husband. “F” said she never ever in her life felt soooooo insulted, sooo humiliated. ppl were looking at her, she was with her pregnant belly. didnt know what to do and where to go? she started crying and knocked at the door, pleaded them to open the door. it was getting dark but those curel mIL and hubby didnt open the door. “F” took the taxi and went to her mom’s house. later obviously hubby came, said sorry etc (bast*d) and succeeded to take her back… 
“F” gave birth to her first daughter the very 1st year of marriage cos MIL wanted a grand son asap. Allah ka karna, 1st baby was gal which disappointed the MIL big time. MIL and hubby did some stupid dramay in hospital too. the lady dr. was very angry at them. she told F that next time when u are in labor room, bring ur hubby with u so he can see what woman goes thru when she delivers.
anyway MIL took the baby from “F” and told her, “dont worry about ur daughter. I will take care of her. Tum doosray bachay ki tayaari karo.” … 
“F” was in her chilla (40 days whatever u call that) at that time. She called me and was crying badly… she told me that MIL doesnt allow her to be with her daughter. she hardly sees her baby in whole day. she said we maa and beti miss each other even living in same home. 
Allah ne 2nd baby ussko beta diya. that was i think after 1 and half yr of 1st baby. and then again after 1 n half yr she delivered her 3rd baby, which was gal. She poor gal who was so nazuk among we friends, went thru worst. and sstill going thru.
I didnt mention about her nand but she is a phsycho case, she wants to remarry but no one wants to marry her. she is literally a churail. her kids are teenagers, they hate their mom and prays that she gets married asap or somehow leaves that home. my friend “F” takes care of her nand’s kids too, like school, books, home work, khaana peena, clothes everything she does for them. she says mujhay unn bachon parr tarss aata hai.
:hinna:
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
lol funny thing… “F” is not at all laraka type. so she doesnt reply back or fight when her MIL is shouting at her. So one day MIL got really annoyed and pissed off of her quite nature. she told her son, that “yeh larkee aisay chup reh kar khudh janat chalee jaey gi aur mujhay dozakh mein bhaij de gi.”
My mouth dropped open reading Korns posts and some of the others. I am truly astonished at what people can be like even in todays age. This is sometimes why i applaud the western culture, they dnt take s*** like this, while us counterparts have to sit here and endure beatings and torture in the name of `religion? culture? what?
So many ideas that well jannat mein jayengay if we succumb to torture is pathetic. God gave everyone A BRAIN. he insists we use it, we know whts right and wrong, and to sit silently is always a crime.
men know that they can pretty much do whatever they want, because theres hardly a chance the women will leave them...due to log kya kehengay.....and its better to be married and unhappy than divorced....
Korn-please take a stand against him. for your own sake. if you said you loved him, as dilluded as that would be, we would accept that u love him so we cannot do anything to change ur mind,
but YOU HTE HIM..you said so urself....
so?
whats stopping you.
If my husband did even a quarter of those things, or even ONE of the things u said....wow he would be out the door......
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
FAIRYTALE-please go and shoot her MIL....or give me her address so I CAN....
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
Fairytail so how is her situation now. how many kids has she got now.
im glad i started this thread, there are so many situations ppl go thru once they marry, this will help those due to get married to understand that sometimes life is not a bed of roses
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
I am so glad that I have loving inlaws .. (not rubbing salt in wounds .. please don't take it that way) but it makes me relaise how ungrateful I am when even for a few moments I get hurt by hubby) as life can be so much worse..
I pray Korn and all that you get the fruits of your labour and get out of this hell ...
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
its so sad reading this thread :( to think that u get married with such hopes and dreams... only to have them shattered by cruel people who only know how to behave like animals. heck even animals protect their own!! i hope Allah makes things better for u Korn and all the others going through hell.
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
Sorry to hear that some of you are going through such tough times.
To Korn in particular, I understand that you are with your husband due to financial restraints, but you mention that your family all live in the UK? You know here they have so many organisations that would help women like yourself, you would have a great support network over here and mostly your family would be here. I know you said your dad is ill, but to go through this alone and not tell your family at all is not a great decision.
Sometimes it becomes difficult to break off from a situation however bad, because we fear change and we fear potential outcomes. You have 2 daughters and you need to think about what is best for you and for them. Yes, your family will be hurt but are you not hurting so much more right now?
You deserve so much more from life than what you have described.
**!!! Where are her parents in all this? Bechari!!! I can’t even imagine the pain of having a child taken away from you! **
**I agree with nadz, give me the address so we can shoot that b*tch to hell! **
**And Korn! Next time your “husband” starts yelling at you, hit him where the sun don’t shine with that baseball batt! **
**May Allah mian give all those women jannat for having to put up with this kind of abuse! **
Seriously, reading this stuff is turning me against Pakistani mentality! Not even goras go through this, heck I don’t even think that they went through this with the puritans or whatever!
And to think, our pure religion is being twisted because of these evil people. This is why the west is always saying women are repressed, because really, maybe not in Islam, but in our culture, we are. To me, those are two seperate things.
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
Dear sisters....kuch mardoon ko apni biwi ki delivery dekhney ke baad bhi aqal nahin aatii...they still treat their wives like **** and give a damn about their wives responsibilities...
she has got 3 kids, 2 gals, 1 boy. her situation is same but she is hell busy with her daily life. she doesnt go any where, just to her mom’s sometimes.
if you see her daughter, mashAllah she is such a cutie, got sooo innocent face, big eyes, long curled eye lashes. she has got that face ki khwa makhwa pyaar aajaey. but she is soooooooooooooooooo quiet, all the time her eyes are looking down as in searching something on the ground. you wont feel her presence if she is with you in one room for whole day. obviously she is growing up in such tensed environment. and knowing my friend F, i guess she most of the time keep them in her room, so they dont make any mess or noise in home for which she will pay later. my heart goes out for her kids. I have not met her son yet, but according to her, he is quiet and a gentleman. not naughty at all.
:hinna:
Her father is working in Kuwait, he is heart patient and already had 1 or 2 heart attacks. Her mom is BP patient. so many times she has been hospitalized and even in ICU coz her BP shoots up, leaves her unconscious for days. This was from the time when we were studying yet and F would take off from Uni saying that mom is in hospital.
She has two bros, one elder, one younger. younger one is good for nothing, and elder one had spoken to his BIL few times, but he cannot do much. “F” doesnt tell everything to her parents. only tells when things go out of her hands. like the day they closed the door on her.
Her devar is very blatant and someone who puts his foot down on what he wants. He got married lately with the gal of his choice. Decided to live in separate home. took his wife and now living abroad somewhere. but in F’s case living in separate home is like asking for divorce. This was made clear to her on their wedding night. ( i cannot share her first nite stories. coz u gals will run out of this thread screaming. may be name of MARRIAGE will bring shivers in you for weeks.)
so about her devar, when she was 8 months pregnant for the first time, month was june/july, she was standing in kitchen and making rotees for the “tabbar”. devar came and saw her sweating profusely and breathing loudly, coz she was heavy and it was her frist pregnancy and this standing in kitchen for too long was not good for her. he saw her, went in and turned off the stove. Took her by hand and out of kitchen. asked his mother and brother, how did you let bhabi stand in kitchen in this condition? its so hot in there and if i am not wrong then she is standing there from hours." mom said something like mind ur own business and that there is no harm in standing in this condition. hum ne bhi bachay paida kiye hein etc. He didnt agree . told “F” , “bhabi go to your room and take rest. Jiss ne khana khana hoga woh apnay liye khud bana lay ga. yahan koi bhooka nahin marray ga.” she went to her room thanking him in heart. she didnt get anything to eat that nite though.
oh and my god kiya yaad aagiya mujhay. “F” only eats when everyone has finished eating. she eats what is bach kucha. if nothing is bacha kucha, she either remains hungry or eats stale salan and stale rotees form previous day.
:halo:
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
thats awful! she sounds like a prisoner!
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
Why does 'F' eat what is leftover? Tell her make an extra few rotis and she too can eat! Why does she eat after them?
Oh god. Bechari pe turs ata hai. May allah mian give her strength. What does the MIL keep track of the rations too, which going over what you told us, she probably does.
The children must see what is going on with their mom and it will cause hatred between them and their father hopefully. No man like that deserves to be called a man. He is sht and from now on we will refer to both him and his mom as shts. I can’t stand these people and I don’t even know them! Can you guys like visit her at her house or anything? Oh and why can’t the devaar just like, take her away too, in secret? Not saying an affair or anything, but take the kids and her someplace safe?
Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws
Fairytale, that is sick.
hum ne bhi bachay paida kiye hein etc.
This is the most easily and commonly used tool by the in laws esp mother in laws......hum nay bhi to bacahy paida kiya hain yeh koi anokhi hai ? I tell u people don't even refrain from telling you that** "road pay jharoo lagani wali aurat bhi to is halat main kaam karti hai tum kiyoon nahi kar sakti ?" .
**
I feel sorry for the girl and her kids. I hope her husband gets some sense which seems quite impossible now.