What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

really Korn .....haven't your visited your parents in all these years ? or your family has visited you ? how come they dont have any idea

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

i am sure any mother or parent would feel tremendously hurt if their daughter hid such a thing from them! I am shocked your parents have no idea of what you are going through! Don’t they keep in touch with you via phone etc? doesn’t your mother see-though your voice that something is wrong? Have they ever come to stay with you in dubai? Do they know about his 2nd wife? my mum n dad came when he went to europe wid his frnds for a month. After that no. Yes they know from before that i am not happy with him, but again those legendary mom dialogues. No they don't know about his second wife

your husband has no right to beat you. No one has the right to do that to anyone. This is appalling! And you are letting him get away with it. Does he beat his daughters as well! How will you protect your daughters from him if you can’t protect yourself? He has never hit my kids, well for some reason he i think loves them too much

It doesn’t matter if you are not financially stable. That doesn’t mean you have to put up with his physical and verbal abuse. if you go back to uk, you can get plenty of help. also you'll be back in an environment which is healthier for your daughters. imagine those poor things watching their parents everyday! I cannot go back. I want to win this fight and have promised myself

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

well your parents should be told that he has a 2nd wife. how strange they don't know this! he is their son-in-law! you have hidden so many lies from your parents. this is really bad. you think you are protecting them from stress etc just b/c your dad is a heart patient!!!! god forbid he was to find out all this now, he would be really hurt. i mean you shouldn't have to go through this all alone!

what does your husband plan to do about his 2nd wife? does he have kids with her?

well thank goodness your husband doesn't hit your kids. but he shouldn't hit you either.

you both need to get help though. look into getting counselling etc.

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

korn I can't even imagine what you have gone thru or are going thru. All I can do is pray for you. May Allah give you the strength to achieve your goal, and also help you in raising daughters that do not allow themselves to be abused. Aameen....

How did he come back and stay with you for 5 years.... didn't his family or his second wife say something.... what abt your relationship... do u have separate bedrooms...does he want u to behave like his wife..... I mean how do you keep a level head... I just can't get my head around your situation...

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

well your parents should be told that he has a 2nd wife. how strange they don't know this! he is their son-in-law! you have hidden so many lies from your parents. this is really bad. you think you are protecting them from stress etc just b/c your dad is a heart patient!!!! god forbid he was to find out all this now, he would be really hurt. I know, and do think like that way as well :(

what does your husband plan to do about his 2nd wife? does he have kids with her? NO, no kids. He says he will divorce her (God knows when)

well thank goodness your husband doesn't hit your kids. but he shouldn't hit you either. True, so now i know when and where i shall comment and keep quite, so such situation do not come again

you both need to get help though. look into getting counselling etc. we had done many sessions on that. He becomes like a angel during that period. I was shocked to see him even say, I am a very good mother to the counselor

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

korn I can't even imagine what you have gone thru or are going thru. All I can do is pray for you. May Allah give you the strength to achieve your goal, and also help you in raising daughters that do not allow themselves to be abused. Aameen.... inshallah

How did he come back and stay with you for 5 years God knows, Allah ka shuker hai, i wud say. whereas his mom thinks i did some sh!t magic.... didn't his family or his second wife say something they said hell lot.... what abt your relationship too dry... do u have separate bedrooms no, am sleeping wid da kids...does he want u to behave like his wife of course and i tend to have a difference between wife and a slave..... I mean how do you keep a level head... I just can't get my head around your situation...

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but why should he divorce her? why did he marry her in the first place then? he can't blame his mother as he is accountable for his own actions and he isn't a string puppet. do you keep in touch with the 2nd wife? poor woman has been though all that you have been though.

this is really bad. this man is simply shocking.

korn, i don't know what else to say to you. but it seems you want to be with him. so i pray you both change and work things out.

48

agree with iyla..............I have no doubts that he must be saying same things about divorcing you to his 2nd wife. I feel sorry for that woman atleast you have children but she is stuck in a miserable situation and has got nothing in her hands. (Don't know if she already knew that he was married).

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

i read this true story in one of oprah's mags. it was an amazing story with the best ending.

there was this pilot who was leading a double life. he had two wives and neither wife knew about the other. he was a rotten guy. one day everything was out in the open. the two wives found out about eachother, but, they became best friends and both left the husband. after leaving him they struggled with money etc but they helped each other out so much and brought their kids up together.

eventually both wives found happiness and got married to new partners. but only b/c they helped eachother out so much!

-

of course there are two sides to every story. if this man is truly doing what korn says he is doing, then he will get what is coming to him eventually. i just hope korn is strong enough as her daughters need a strong mother figure in their lives.

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

she knew that he was married and she is not a good person, he called his cousin here in dubai and gave him my contacts so he calls me up often and my hubby thinks i am a bad person by character...

i cant imagine to what extent can ppl go to!!!!!

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

I have become a very strong person and strongly have devoted my entire life to my daughters

I intend to keep this bond as already my in laws say i am bad and curse me, if i leave him, they will for sure say my character was bad

same story as i read in another thread!!!!!

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it doesn't matter that the 2nd wife knew he was already married. maybe she was in such a position that she could do nothing about that! but how do you know she is not a good person? maybe she is a victim just like you are who has nowhere to go. you said that she too suffered from so much abuse from him.

i think you should stop worrying about what your in-laws think or will think.

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

I don't worry

I just cannot afford more stress

As i said, the lady who is going through all this knows how she is co-oping with the situation

:(

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

the second wife when was here, came to my place ones and cursed me hit me even. I told her go and talk to ur husband. She even hit my daughter and i got so angry at that time as i was behaving and she was acting like a total jahil......

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

korn - seriously your stories are getting worse and worse! stop letting people beat you woman!

you need to keep a baseball bat with you at all times!

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

I am a very happy person by nature (or use to be) I don't get scared or turned down by all this BS!

what i believe is right i will do

and i damn care aba anyone, in laws second wife or watever

like i said, i really do not know where to start from.......................

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

I have already threatened my husband and have threatened him about his second wife too

:frusty2:

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

truly korn, you should kick this guy's ass and start LIVING your life. Show him that you do not need his galees, taanay and jootiyaan. You are a dignified woman, with self respect and a character. and you wont let him massacre them everyday. you can do much much better without him. to hell with what your in laws will think or society will say. They do not come to help u when you are pregnant, they do not come to speak for you when ur hubby is unfair withyou , they are no where to save you when the guy is beating you... then why you give soooo much thought and importance to what they will think???????

Kids can grow up and become really good successfull ppl even without a father. Not every kid is raised with a father. God forbid parents can die too. so do their kids do not grow up ? or they become bad ppl?
My naani, she was one extremely beautiful woman, very very naik, from a very high profile family and educated too, worked as principal in high schools....i am talking about some good 70-80 yrs back. imagine how much she would be in demand in those times.... still her husband brought another woman on her for no reasons. The other woman was not even from good place (bazari aurat). My naani tried to adjust herself with him since she had 3 kids from him, but the other woman was too cruel to her and the kids. Nani left her husband. she worked hard and dedicated her life to her kids. Those three kids turned out so successful in their lives mA, and such nice human beings that really I yet have to find someone like them or even near to them.

life is very short, plz dont waste it with a person who doesnt treat you as human, let alone as a wife/life partner. Khulla ka huq tou Khuda ne bhi diya hai. If you are clean at heart, your intentions are clean, and you know you have tried your best to save your home, then believe me He will only reward you for ur sincere efforts and thats all that should matter to you. not what in laws will think.

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This is so true ! These people are never there to help you they are just there criticise and open their mouth when their opinions are not even asked for. I too used to think like Korn. Life is definitely not easy but what my experience is when you go through such a difficult phase you are left only with those people around you who really care and I can promise there will be very few of them. It is kind of nice feeling to know who really cares for you and that you are not wasting your life and time with such people who are fake and are not true to you.

FairyTale wow your naani was so strong. I felt so nice after reading about her. When a woman from that era could be so strong and raised educated & successful kids on her own why can't woman of our era can't. Sometimes it just takes a little long for someone to take decision esp when kids are there .

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Re: What have u suffered at the hands of ur In laws

Thanku girls

u made me feel powerful today

love u