Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Please work on your reading comprehension. And kindly learn to differentiate between sincere mother vs. insincere mothers of grooms.
I am pro-arranged marriage and I am pro-love marriage. I don’t care, as long as both parties are happy. I, myself, readily agree to an arranged marriage, and am blissfully happy, mashAllah, so I am slightly more pro-arranged.
The problem I have with some arranged marriages is the way mothers of the groom abuse the system, treat prospective girls as if they are piece of meat at a market, and how they completely discard any manners they may normally have. This is a social scourge and should be eliminated. I have every right to be bitter about this cultural sickness, just like I am bitter and angry at other social sicknesses of Pakistanis, like demands for a extravagant jahez, forced marriage, child marriage, karo kari, marriage to the Quran, “oopsie, the stove exploded” bride burnings, gang rape at the hands of a panchayat, domestic violence, lack of education for girls, no choice in family planning for women, etc. etc.
And I firmly stand by my statement that women who are serial “rishta-lookers” and “rishta-rejecters” are … (for lack of a better term). Especially those low class hags that know that their sons will never agree to an arranged marriage or somone mummy finds for them (especially since they are content with their own girlfriends). I have nothing but duas for those mothers who decently and sincerely look for brides for their shareef sons.
As far as “forcing my opinion” onto you…excuse me, but last I checked this was a public forum. The whole point is for people to post their opinions. No one’s forcing you to read it. What a goofy statement that was.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
To the Admin: kindly replace funguy with some male mod, more active, to bring balance to this forum please. How can you let one poster get away with calling people's mothers *****es?
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
The level of biased moderating displayed here is extremely pitiful. My FITTING response to this “mother *****es” nonsense was conveniently edited out by MehnazQ. I saved it in my journal for days likes this (http://www.paklinks.com/gs/journal.php?do=showjournal&j=105).
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
LI, Raatkirani's posts were edited as well as yours. What was the point in leaving your personal attacks on her and her family when her post which prompted this outburst by you was already edited yesterday morning?
Any of you who have an issue with the 'biased moderating', send a note to Ehsan and company.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
I can’t help it if my descriptions hit too close to home for you. That’s not my problem. If the shoe fits, wear it then. Last I recalled, I never used offensive terminology on anyone’s mother in particular, I was simply talking in general terms.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Raatkirani, I dont like going to mods or admins if I need to reply to girls like you. The only reason I did was that I try not to get nasty to women, my mother or somebody elses. On one hand you say your remark is not directed towards anyone and then if someone objects you say that the description hit too close to home for me (this was the second time). How is that in general terms?
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
I am not sure what good manners prospective in-laws should follow but one thing I am very sure of, if anyone of you made another personal or derogatory remark against another member guppy, I will make sure you get a phone call from me. Now, carry on...
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
it time that we start depending less on rishtas.I mean at the end of the day it has to be between 2 people.. so why get so many others involved... who for on thing don't know what you want.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
OOoh okay here’s my rishta story!!
My parents took me to my nani’s house coz some relatives of my mami wanted to meet my parents.. while i was sitting wiht my nani, I thought.. Hey what if this was a rishta thing? And the guests came, and i saw these two youngish guys and I said salaam to aunty and she stared at me hard which made me feel kinda weird but normal i guess.. While they were eating (chai and patties and nimko :D), my mom kept telling me t look at him and check him out Ive seen guys before, but i dunno its so weird when ure own mom tells u to check him out! When aunty came to sit with us, i was pretty quiet, xcept for answering her questions.. i had to open my big mouth though , she was talking abt how her sister n nieces participate in thier masjid (in London) and how it’s women dont go to the mosque here at all, they’re not allowed to n my mom said that Muslims in US are actually more pakka muslims than the ones in Pak and I said “bohot mainat karni parti hai”.. she glanced towards me and i was like coz usually i dont xpect someone to pay attention to what i said but then i told her what i honestly thought..There was a lil bit more chitchat and they left..
It wasn’t that bad.. my only regret, i wish I had looked a tiny bit nicer
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
we all have gone through this and the ones that haven,t probably will....it feels bad....we can understand..... but better move on...and forget the suckers..
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
to all the girls AND guys, marriages or rishtas are tricky, they don't always work, but if you treat people with a little RESPECT and Kindness everyone should come out if not happy then altleast not hurt.
With that aside, my "rishta" story.
i think i'm pretty lucky casue i never had to do the 'aunties coming to see me thing', i'm engaged to this guy i've been friends with for almost my whole life. but last year when my grandma past away, this lady came to our house [she didn't know i was engaged] for the funeral. she had the nerve to tell my dad [who had just lost his mom] that she thought that i looked like a "good" girl for her son. i mean how respectful is to to propose marriage for a girl you don't even know at her dadi funeral cause you desperate to get your son married.
and i'll admit that there are larki waly who are just as bad. just be respectful
:chusni:
And the guests came, and i saw these two youngish guys and 
I said salaam to aunty and she stared at me hard which made me feel kinda weird but normal i guess.. While they were eating (chai and patties and nimko :D), my mom kept telling me t look at him and check him out 
coz usually i dont xpect someone to pay attention to what i said but then i told her what i honestly thought..There was a lil bit more chitchat and they left..