So through a mutual family friend, an aunty came to meet/see me with the prospect rishta of her son. The meeting was nice and casual she was very sweet and talked to me and my family in a way that kept all uneasiness aside. Her son is in Canada so she brought a family pic to show. Left us on a nice note said she would talk to her son to see when he could come down to the US to meet up and would let us know in a week.
That was 5 weeks ago. Since then ma has called her and sent a message through the mutual family friend just wondering on an update. NO response. NONE.
Does it break a back to have the courtesy to say nahin we are still looking, or we are discussing or any thing.
What happened to manners? Keep us lutking endlessly? Weâre not desperate but it would be nice to have some closure. What is wrong with people especially larkay walay (no offense to the nice ones) 
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
arranged marriages suck
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Please donât get me started on this topic Sooraj. I have so many stories, perhaps one day I will write a book.
If they arenât giving a response, they mostlikely are not interested. It wonât surprise me if six months down the road, they contact you wanting to pick up from where they left off. 
Itâs very inconsiderate and rude. That being said, you need to bear in mind that perhaps the son didnât even know about his mother checking out women for him and heâs already shacked up with a gori in Canada. The mother could just embarrased since she has nothing to say given her sonâs behaviour. 
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
You know its really easy to assume that they dont have manners, they dont care, they dont want you but there could be a million other reasons. Maybe they haven't discussed it with their son? Maybe the son is taking his time? Maybe its a maybe and thats why they havent called.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Sooraj-mukhi, don't worry about the people you met...like MehnazQ and barfee said, there could be many reasons as to why they haven't call back. Don't waste too much time thinking about it, and don't take anything personally. Arranged marriage meetings can be really weird, but inshaAllah, when its meant to be, things will work out better than you can imagine! Good luck. :)
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
my advice would be forget them...its rude and inconsiderate no matter wat. I agree with mehnaz, they probably will turn up in 6 months wanting to pick up where they left off - would be funny if ur already married by then!
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
I guess you are all correct- im not taking this as rejection but i just feel even if they need more time or are not intersted if they dont want to talk directly they could send the message through the family friend who introduced us. Khair, allah knows best.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Like Mehnaz said, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest, and often the parents and the son/daughter are not on the same page. Forget about them, and keep your options open always!!
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
I experienced the same thing when I was going through the rishta process and I agree its extremely rude. But I can somewhat understand why people do that. They are perhaps feeling uneasy if they want to say no and dont know of a way to say it. Or could be another reason they havent called. I always thought it was rude to leave the other party waiting but my mother said, just take it as a no and move on.
I had a rishta once where the lady came with her samdhan. We all had a good conversation and then they didnt call back. So when Ammi called to check, we were told, they wanted a younger looking girl. Now, no offense to the guy, but the guy was bald and probably had a belly bigger than my dad's (and my dad has a huge belly). And then to top it all of, a month later, when I was already engaged to someone else, their samdhan came back with another rishta :) Ammi had to gently relate that I was engaged already to a rishta we had been considering for a couple months.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Why is it up to the guys side to call back? ...sounds like YOU were waiting around for a call too.
Why is it up to the guy to haul his ass from Canada to God-knows-where? If yer curious, hop on a bus and go see what's up...sheesh...
Man, give a guy a break. :-)
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
It seems like an HR officer and a poor studentâs episode for job hunting.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
sooraj...like guppies have said before...ignore and move on. yes, common courtesy would be a nice thing, but don't take it to heart.
don't think of it as a rejection...just shrug it off..
darn rishtay...causes so much stress in our lives - of course! pile some more on, i'd love more stress...shakes head :D
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
^ hey smilestar... is that sally in ur avatar?
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
^ yes! yah..! finally someone recognized her :)
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
:d yeah it happend with me!
One of my momâs cousin start talking to her from Pakistan all of a sudden. Woman wo uld call for over an hour or so atleast once a month to keep in touch and then boom⌠âMy beta has Mba lives in CT looking for a rishta - we would like to come and see your daughter this summerâ. My mom knew i was not going to fall for that trap she went âmy daughter is still studyng and she refuse to fall in to any of theseâ. Aunty went well phir bhi ap sochein.
Summer comes no phone call [shukar hai] but 
we got a confirmed rumour. He got hitched with a CT gori kuri
- damn guy was rich though
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Why is it up to the guy to haul his ass from Canada to God-knows-where? If yer curious, hop on a bus and go see what's up...sheesh...
Man, give a guy a break. :-)
Its called tradition- if the guys family comes over to see the girl at her house and they say they will call back, they should. Perhaps i wasnt clear- we did contact them but did not hear back.
Moving on!
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Just remember that these days the parents are often in an awkward position. If their son isn't cooperating or not giving them a clear sense of what he wants, then they might not know how to respond to you.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
In North America, getting a job or getting a bride/groom is similar. If employer is interested in you then he would contact you immediately and within a day or so you get a job. You loose your job as fast as you get it. For marriage also this is true.
Back home, getting a job takes time but the job is always secured. The marriages also rarely break up.
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Why don't you call the guy?
Re: What ever happened to good old fashioned MANNERS
Agreed,
Respect and manners is unfortunately a thing of past to many famlies.