Re: What counts as ‘impressive’ for a girl?
You got irritated after reading that one line because you think you do so much and at the end of it you read/hear that you have it easy !!
Probably she feels the same hearing it everyday and also after reading 4 pages of this post that she has it easy and should not complain because she chose to stay and make a home!!
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
Why can a house wife not be appreciated for all the efforts she puts in the house chores. So she needs to cook, clean and take care of the kids.
She can cook blah food, use the TV as babysitter for kids and she will be completing all her duties .... but then she would be a bad mother and wife. Everyone specially the in-laws would be at her for not fulfilling her duties properly.
So if she is cooking special foods, teaching kids something or spending time with the kids productively, why not appreciate that she is being a great SAHM. Why can the in-laws not call her husband lucky as well.
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
You got irritated after reading that one line because you think you do so much and at the end of it you read/hear that you have it easy !!
Probably she feels the same hearing it everyday and also after reading 4 pages of this post that she has it easy and should not complain because she chose to stay and make a home!!
Talk about judging people.
I said "unless you really are a victim" and if one really is a victim, they should look for remedies but I have heard from MANY wives the same story *"We have to take care of kids and cook and what does he do? ja ker office baith jatey hain" *and unfortunately most of the time its unjustified criticism. If you keep nourishing this though unjustifiably just for a rant, you will start believing it one day.
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
Aaap aik Mard hain
Aaap yaqeenan Ghalt hain
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
Are we talking about housewife in Pakistan/indian or other countries such as US or UK. Because housewife in Pakistan really do have it easy.
Re: What counts as ‘impressive’ for a girl?
Be a man and stop using female id 
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
^ lol ur funny. But i have the same daily scheduel as you decribed in another thread. But added work of cleaning the house on Saturdays, and cooking 5-6 meals for the meals on sundays for the week ahead. So where is my medal?
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
^ lol ur funny. But i have the same daily schedule as you described in another thread. But added work of cleaning the house on Saturdays, and cooking 5-6 meals for the meals on Sundays for the week ahead. So where is my medal?
YES. Now we are talking.
Your husband should be appreciative and also help you with the house chores. If he cant cook, at least he can help in cleaning, grocery, entertaining kids etc.
PS: If you do not brag about all this every single day in front of him, you also get some brownie points.
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
aurtein ghar pe bhaithy rehty hein
mard office mein
kya hoga
:(
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
This is most likely coming from someone who isn't a SAHM. I think working moms and stay at home moms deserve a lot of credit!
@bold - NO we do NOT have it easier! NO we do not get to wake up when ever we want. We get up when our husbands get up, shortly followed by our kids. And depending on their ages we change diapers, take them to the loo, change their clothes, make them breakfast, feed them, put up with tantrums, clean messes, cook, clean and IF we get some time we can maybe take a shower (but gotta rush it cos the kids will get up any minute). I don't remember the last time I ate a hot meal or when I had breakfast first thing in the morning!!! We put our kids and family first and us second. We take our kids on outings, teach them new words, teach them how to read. And then our husbands get home and we are expected to put on a happy face and serve them dinner and feed the kids and put up with more tantrums. And don't get me started on when a child falls sick!!!!! Did I do anything I wanted to do all day? Happens very rarely. We NEVER get a break so don't tell me that WE have it easier. And on top of everything we hear "oh tumne kaunsa teer mara hai, you're ONLY a stay at home mom!!!!" Give it a rest already and tell us about it when you're a mom!
Excuse me thats ur job. agar tum nahhi karou gi tu kon karae????? koi bahir sai aa kar karae ga. kia ehsan kar rahi hoo.
how long does it take to clean, cooking, and clean the mess etc...
P.S. i m working mom with 3kids.
I agree with mzprincess88.
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
I want to write something clever and witty in response to all of these, but I just can't be bothered.
There's always someone trying to rake up gender issues in this forum, so sod it.
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
You might consider doing some charitable work like volunteering for a local library, hospital or senior's center. I can't imagine anyone that wouldn't consider that impressive.
Or perhaps take on a part-time job that will help you put some cash away for a secret vacation or gift like the ones that your husband gets you.
At the end of the day I don't think that it should be a competition at all. His 9-5 job really can't be compared to your duties within the home since neither operating independently would constitute a family.
I think that you should figure out who you need to impress and whose comments can be "in one ear and out the other".
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
Excuse me thats ur job. agar tum nahhi karou gi tu kon karae????? koi bahir sai aa kar karae ga. kia ehsan kar rahi hoo. how long does it take to clean, cooking, and clean the mess etc...
P.S. i m working mom with 3kids. I agree with mzprincess88.
Hats off to you same. THIS deserves respect and applause- working mom AND managing the house too, good on you. Not just looking after the kitchen and expecting applause. I don't expect applause for my 9-5 job in the same way a SAM shouldn't for just doing what she chose to. But someone managing both? THIS is going the extra mile.
Re: What counts as ‘impressive’ for a girl?
Exactly. I’m sure no husband wants to hear he has it “easy” when he goes out each day to provide for his family while wife wants attention for cooking one handi and doing some cleaning.
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
^Ironically, it is often the same women who don't like to hear that they have it easy and expect applause, who are the first to comment on how "easy" working people have it. I don't know about this thread, but I've noticed that in real life.
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
^Ironically, it is often the same women who don't like to hear that they have it easy and expect applause, who are the first to comment on how "easy" working people have it. I don't know about this thread, but I've noticed that in real life.
You are right Mezhgan and, as I've noted earlier, I personally believe it stems from an internal inadequacy which they have iv def noticed it with some friends who are housewives. It's like they have to continuously justify to everyone that they are changing the world.
And I hate hearing the whole "you get paid to work, we don't get paid to do kitchen duty". Well yes, but I CHOOSE not to laze around at home, I CHOOSE to go out and work hard and make a career so yes I do get paid. If I lounged around at home, no I wouldn't expect a salary either.
Re: What counts as ‘impressive’ for a girl?
How about SAHMs just be happy knowing this:
What is a stay-at-home mom’s salary worth? How tasks would add up to a $113,568 income | Mail Online
We’re technically making 6 figures, and also higher than the average working woman, that’s as good an appraisal as ur going to get (especially on this forum). (And all this doesn’t include surrogate mother fees 
)
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
You are right Mezhgan and, as I've noted earlier, I personally believe it stems from an internal inadequacy which they have iv def noticed it with some friends who are housewives. It's like they have to continuously justify to everyone that they are changing the world.
And I hate hearing the whole "you get paid to work, we don't get paid to do kitchen duty". Well yes,** but I CHOOSE not to laze around at home, I CHOOSE to go out and work hard and make a career so yes I do get paid. If I lounged around at home, no I wouldn't expect a salary either**.
You almost seem resentful for having to work outside. Just because women CHOOSE to be SAHMs doesn't mean they also chose to laze around at home before they got married. I have nothing but respect for women who choose to stay at home to raise kids. One of the most important jobs in this world is raising good human beings. They should be appreciated! Imagine you have to quit your job and stay at home to do boring house chores, run around after your kid, and get no sleep. Wouldn't you then say I wish I got paid for this because this is more exhausting than having a career?
I am not a mother by choice because I know I am not responsible enough to raise good kids. I know my job in IT is much easier than being a SAHM. Again, being a housewife without kids and being a SAHM are very different.
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
Hey folks, there are a few things people are assuming or forgetting:
OP isn't asking to be worshipped simply because she takes care of the home. She just wants to know what she needs to do to get acknowledged as impressive by her inlaws -- how is she as a housewife supposed to go above and beyond. What's clear from this thread is that no matter how great a woman is as mother or homemaker, etc, some people will never be pleased and will always assume the worst. And that's why I think it's best not to do things and wait for others' approval. if you do that it means that your sense of self-worth is dependent on others, and that is really a dangerous way to live.
SAHM don't just laze around all day. You know that. Stop trolling.
I believe Mezghan pointed out that a woman doing something special for her family members may not get acknowledged because it just seems like an extension of her SAHM duties. This is a good point. But consider being in a traditional workplace. If you go above and beyond, don't you expect it to get noticed by a boss, colleague, client, etc -- the people in your workplace? I think there's this absence of adult interaction/acknowledgement for many SAHM that makes it hard to measure progress/success. Sure, a SAHM shouldn't be needy for praise and acknowledgement all the time, but the desire for it is understandable.
No one is going to win the who works harder and whose job is more important contest because the circumstances, talents, and efforts of each individual are different, despite the title given to the role. It's a silly game; let's stop playing it.
Re: What counts as 'impressive' for a girl?
nnabid -- just want to add one more thing. The corollary to what I said is that if you ARE only doing the SAHM stuff for others' approval, if it doesn't bring your contentment or satisfaction, etc, then it's time to talk to your spouse and redistribute responsibilities so that you can do something else.