What are the REASONS for wanting no childs or waiting more than 3 years?

Lifestyle Relationships
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wtf? what does that mean now? are you in the same boat as these women accusing SH'T, ONLY SH'T? HAve you read what they say or were you bought by the L&R owner?

I don't need this sh't now. Goodbye, I'm leaving. I have better things to do. I think you have something personal against me since ever. Is ist because I'm a Red Wings Fan and you Montreal?

122

LOL

sometimes I think all this you post is an all act...because it's funny, sound like a woman!

but sorry if it's not an act and it's sincere than i have not ever met a such an emotional character.

but ur still my bro even if u are a red wings fan! :D

~*~ Time Pass June 2012 ~*~
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OMG, you are impossible.

and No nothing personal, chill karo.
:)

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Re: What are the REASONS for wanting no childs or waiting more than 3 years?

no but seriously, find a girl and settle down.

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Re: What are the REASONS for wanting no childs or waiting more than 3 years?

Numb,
I tried so hard to respond to your post but I'm just left speechless. I really cant argue with someone with a mindset that you have. I just hope you're going to change your views some day.

Dedicate a sher to _ _ _
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Re: What are the REASONS for wanting no childs or waiting more than 3 years?

^ agree..its just terrible..

127

i knw sara it really does i remember all the planning .. and now its nearly a year

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Re: What are the REASONS for wanting no childs or waiting more than 3 years?

Wow...I never clicked on this thread as I dont have kids and am not married but it had gotten so long I wanted to know what the hoop-la was all about.

Numb, you seem like a nice guy but I dont think you realize how difficult it is to raise a child nowadays with little or no means. I see my sister with her baby and Ive got to say its not easy...health insurance, school fees, clothes, shoes, diapers, toys, food, even hair barrettes and I am simply talking about basics right now. One box of formula costs $40! Just ONE BOX for a new born baby! This little person depends on you for EVERYTHING and when you cannot provide...guess who gets hurt? The little one.

What parent can bear it when their child wishes for something and they cannot provide? Not many. If they cannot provide, they cry inside because they wish they could. The thing is, men AND women have learned its better to do family planning and give your child a good home and upbringing rather than just a nest full of kids wearing hand-me-downs. They want to not only provide for their children but be there to enjoy them as well...not work three jobs to support them.

Its not just the women who are making these decisions Numb...its men too! Its a couple's joint decision usually to wait - not just the female denying the world a child at the top of her lungs. They are a team.

Dont take this the wrong way.

Thats my take on it...

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Re: What are the REASONS for wanting no childs or waiting more than 3 years?

numb , wotever reason we may give u , you are too just too numb to understand . the fact that it is a WOMEN that will produce the child and therefore the WOMEN has to decide WHEN she wants the child . she has every RIGHT to decide watever the reason may be

THERE end of story

:)

130

you summed it up perfectly..:k:

most of the times, it’s a mutual decision to wait to have a baby. I’m sure the married guppans who posted in this thread aren’t forcing down their selfish decisions on their hubbies. Men these days are realising what a big responsibility it is to raise a child. Also the global culture is changing, people don’t pay much attention to you if you dont have a degree. God forbid, if a family is in a financial crisis, women can always get a ‘decent’ job and not flip burgers at McDonalds. And it’s not the only issue, education is a beautiful thing. It enriches your mind and general knowledge. It can never poison anyone’s mind, it’s the person’s individual choice. Okay my laptop battery is running so bye.

NOW OPEN: GS CAFE Roadside Dhaba Part II
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Re: What are the REASONS for wanting no childs or waiting more than 3 years?

its one thing for someone to look back fondly at childhood memories, appreciating everything their parents did, not having the material things their friends had. But I don't think there is a single person in their right mind who would actually PREFER that they struggle financially and want the same life for hteir child

132

Yup! This is true…when a couple decides to have children guess who will be the sole bread-winner in the house? The man. The entire burden falls on his shoulders while his wife prepares for another little member of the family. This is not an easy expense to bear in US at least. Family planning is essential for couples raising children in the west and even east…doesnt matter.

Numb, no doubt couples who dont have a lot **have **to sacrifice quite a bit when they have kids. BUT does that make it right? Does that mean there is no better way? Absolutely not. Our parents’ era was different and ours is different. No matter what you say, you will agree deep down we are living in a different world with different needs and demands.

Another thing you should take into consideration which CA mentions above…what if (God forbid) a tragedy strikes the family? Allahu Alim doesnt work when the electric company calls before they disconnect your power. The woman needs to be capable of at least a decent salary until husband gets on his feet or they figure out a back-up plan. Medical insurance for the kids?

We live in a society that demands these different roles of the female and we are totally up to the challenge. However, the least you guys could do is acknowledge our desire to do the right thing…not only for us…but for you too. We are not selfish at all…we are being selfless by standing right next to you and helping you whenever you need it, in whatever form you need it.

The women who stay home and take care of their children have to sacrifice their desire to be financially independant and carefree despite being educated and more than capable. The woman who leave the house sacrifice their desire to be home and hang on every little thing their tiny one does so they dont miss a precious second. My very own friend is a prime example. She worked SO hard to buld her career before she got married and then walked away from prime opportunties to have children because they decided it was the right time.

This woman is today’s woman Numb…she has a lot of hard and conflicting choices facing her. She has her traditional role to fill and modern day demands. Maybe this is the woman you should consider when you ask questions about children.

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hmm interesting thread. lots of comments made lots of accusations.

for all the people who are taking out the kulhara to run after numb and bash him with it because he said some higher educated women become sarchari. actually some of them do. i have seen it myself and i am not exagerating and guess what i am an educated young women myself.

and as for the other accusations that all these women are putting on numb. i would not say he is a misogynist. i think maybe he got a little emotional about this topic and he said a lot that may make it seem like he is. i just think maybe he did not choose the right words. i do understand what he is trying to say. he just went a bit overboard.

numb lots of people in this world think lots of things about other people. you can be the nicest person in the world but there will always be people who say certain things about you or think of you in a certain way. you should not let it affect you this much. you know yourself what you are. by repeating again and agains that 'no i am not this or that you are wrong to accuse me' you are just putting yourself through more grief making yourself more disturbed. you are taking this all way too seriously. there are some people who do understand what you mean and who do not think your are a misogynist. stay confident you are not completely wrong nor are you a bad rotten person. nobody is perfect everyone is entitled to their own opinion and opinions differ.

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hello i have just joined lol :)

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Re: What are the REASONS for wanting no childs or waiting more than 3 years?

i dnt think its wrng in w8in for 3 yearz or so afta avin a child.. i mean.. sumtyms u gt married young.. n u wna enjoy tym with ur husband.. or maybe u jst wnt to settle dwn b4 aving a baby

i mean in my case.. i wna enjoy lyf wid my husband 1st.. travel arwnd.. n mentally totalli b ready for the child aswell as it is alot of responsibility.. n den wen i do hav a baby.. i wna giv it all my tym

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Babies come with huge responsibilities... it's heartbreaking watching the program "Ek choti si naiki" on Geo where they show really poor people with 12-13 children.. these children go hungry for days before they get a "decent" meal. Financial security shud be the first priority (it doesn't mean baby gap of baby versace clothes btw) nor does it mean swarovski studded baby bottles!

You shud have enuff to pay the hospital bills, formula milk.. clothes, diapers, medicines, vaccines and then worry about daycares and schools.. education and so much more! U have to be stable in life in order to raise a kid well.

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There is no need to have a reason. Its just a personal prefrence of lifestyle and sometimes kids do not fit in to that.

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now THAT should end this thread happily!! makes perfect sense!

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who tells them to give birth to 12-13 childrens? Illetrate mankind, I don't mean you, I mean those who consider women to be a baby making machine.

bebo:

Yes, you are right, these people should stay on that path and earn doonya-daari, let's see how far that brings them in the eyes of God.

That topic is done for me. Itekaaf has changed my life completely. I will only talk when neccessary and it was in this case.

Wsalam :)

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Re: What are the REASONS for wanting no childs or waiting more than 3 years?

kids r expensive

thats why !