Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
well , i dunno about every wife but ; my basic needs r , love, attention, care, outing, shopping, hoteling.....
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
how cynical
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
why cynical … don’t u need these all things … 
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
That is completely fine. Of course HER money is HER money and a part of HIS money is HER money too but HE should not be held responsible for more than BASIC NEEDs and should not be black-mailed (or pressed) emotionally or reegiously…if he is fulfilling the BASIC NEEDS and that still leaves us to the question…WHAT ARE THE DAMN BASIC NEEDS?
here is my openion
Home, Food, Decent cloths for all weathers and ocassionns (not 2-3 every month), education should do it. If Husband is paying for all this (and of course fulfilling all other emotional needs) he should be considered as good husband and buying expensive cloths, shoes, makeup every now and then should not be considered as BASIC NEED and he should not be held RESPONSIBLE for that if he dont want to (of course if he want to, he can take her to shopping every week by only by his own will)
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
Mehnaz, I think it was this statement. As if as wives, we're like puppies that should be grateful that we're treated with some kindness and love.
"anything beyond this is gravy and should be appreciated."
I'm sorry, but if you've got a decent income coming in, then basic needs includes GIFTS. It includes some pampering. And most of all, it includes the man himself - his time, his conversation, his thoughts, his attention, etc etc.
Material-wise, I think GIFTS are NECESSARY. They ARE a need. Not for survival, but it keeps the relationship running smoothly. The only time that is exempt is if the husband isn't making enough money.
Now whether that gift is newest prada shoes, or if its a friggin candy box from the dollar store - that depends on the income. The more the income, the more lavish the gifts/or the more numerous the gifts.
It is a necessity. It is a way of showing you love your spouse.
Unless if a woman feels more comfortable buying her own luxuries. I might just do that, so I dont feel guilty about being "grateful" for that "gravy". Jeez.
Its like we want something nice and material, and we're guilty of asking for it from husbands.
Really, I'm glad I come to this forum. Makes me realize more and more how important it is for me to have my own income source. I shouldn't be made to feel guilty when I want an i-pod for myself and if I have to depends on hubby dearest to buy it for me.
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
By the way, when I get flaming mad at how I KNOW that women are subjugated in our culture - part of this fact upsets me and its exhibited in this thread:
Women , if they dont have their own job, are financially dependent on their husbands. There is a fine line between "financially dependent" and "emotionally subjugated".
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
PCG, I think it depends on whether the woman is working or not. If she's not, as is usual in Pakistan, then yes the husband does have an obligation to meet her reasonable demands for reasonable material objects (i.e. shoes and clothing as opposed to dildoes).
It also depends on the man. When we use the term "basic need" what we're trying to get at is something that the man has an OBLIGATION to satisfy. If your man buys you luxuries then would you want him to do so out of love or in order to meet an obligation? So far as basic needs are concerned a man has to satisfy them. Beyond that a man should try and increase his wife's happiness as much as he can without spoiling her, but I don't think the wife should feel like she's a charity case.
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
Its all a play on words.
A man is OBLIGATED to LOVE his wife. Therefore, it follows by sheer logic, that he is OBLIGATED to get her, within reason, material belongings that are not necessary. So if that means a nice pair of shoes with some nice design that is within reason, he NEEDS to buy it.
Within reason of course. Yes, if she wants a pair of shoes that cost 200 dollars, that is not reasonable. If she wants a pair of nice comfy shoes that cost maybe 30 dollars, I think that's reasonable.
I buy my shoes from Aerosoles, and that too on sale. I will pay no more than 30 bucks for a shoe. They are the only comfy shoes I can find, and I stand up at work all day, so I dont like bruises on my feet at the end of the day.
Are you telling me that my husband is NOT obligated to buy me those shoes?
Sorry, but I think he is. But here, I get the feeling that people would think that is basically a girl being unreasonable and apparently a money hog.
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
LOL....PCG, you get flaming mad at the mere suggestion that a man might have done some good......it's hilarious.
Obviously the person who started this thread is talking about excessive spending on certain items.....and he's trying to find out if he is being unreasonable if he denies his wife these things.
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
Could you tell me where someone suggested that a man might have done something good, and where I got flaming mad at it? Please do not be vague in your words. You should be explicit and to the point, otherwise, its perceived as mind-games to me.
My comments are directed at mamaof3, rather than at the original thread starter. I agree with him/her that excessive spending should be curbed. Of course, “excessive” depends upon the person. I actually find my 30 dollar Aerosole shoes excessive.
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
So his money is not his and your money is yours…?
His spending on himself is justified if he buys clothes for the family from non-kmarts?
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
Its the family's money. He can include himself in that family of course. But what I mean is that its not his money to keep for himself only.
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
Viper, if you look at it in Islam, it's his responsbility to provide for his family, a nice house, clothes, food, education etc; woman's responsibility is to take care of the kids, take care of the home etc.. if she goes and works too then the money she makes is her own and she is not Islamically obligated to give her money to him.. unfortunately that's what happens, their husbands make them go to work and they take her paycheck. If she does, then the money she makes is hers..
The Kmart thing was just an example, she means that a guy has no right to buy himself a Versace sweater while his kids n wife are eating cheap cafeteria crap and wearing Kmart shoes.
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
I am aware of what Islam says.
Unfortuantely translation of a nice house, clothes, food translates for many women to villas, expensive brand names and five star hotel (whatever the hell 5star means!). These same women will emotionally blackmail, cheat and manipulate men out of their money - they are everywhere in the form of either the 'bad-mouthed fat aunty (desi version)' or the multiple divorcee living with ten cats the even worse (north american version).
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
^ I dunno bout that.. of course what Islam says and what ppl do (in the name of it) are vastly different.. I say if you can afford it, what’s wrong with treating ur wife once in a while? Guy shouldn’t be so stingy and cheap.. and vice versa, if he cannot afford it, she should not be so materialistic and whatnot.. It’s only when you barely have enuff money to put ur kids thru college and ur buying designer clothes and zaivar that’s really messed up.. in that case she shudn’t’ve married someone poor 
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
Oh whatever. This is a small minority. Most women are pretty reasonable. Key is to communicate with them.
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
If the woman is worth it, nothing should be held back..one should try to do more than her basic needs. If she is not..oh well..too bad.
Re: What are the BASIC NEEDS of a wife?
If she's not worth it, then why did you marry her in the first place?