Wedding rasams..

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Re: Wedding rasams..

haha…:hehe:

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:p u know I am joshin dontcha

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at my mehndi gathering, my sister-in-law insisted that we do the ‘saath ruhagan’ mithaayi wali rasam but we didn’t get time since i put on my bridal mehndi that night so didn’t want to mess it up and everyone got quite busy singing and dancing that no one even remembered to do the mithayi rasam…TAHNK GOD

we also planned to do ‘doodh pilayi’ again insisted by sis-in-law but my sister forgot to make the dhoodh so that rasam was skipped too…:hehe: but we all had so much fun…Anybody who says a wedding can’t be fun without these old rituals is just bullcraping…there’s no truth to it…really!!

My in-laws family told me someone from my family was supposed to hold a Quran over my head during rukhsati…I didn’t know if using Quran for cultural practics is ok or not so I asked my family not to do this rasam either. Anybody know what’s the basis of it?? Please enlighten me because I’m really curious now.

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Re: Wedding rasams..

aray…saat ‘suhagan’ not ruhagan..get it..suhagan from suhaag..

as far as the quran on the head, i think they should just make a topi for the dulhan which can also serve as a quran holder.

I am sorry to say, holding a quran over the head of the dulhan at ruqsati time has probably just as much of an impact as holding yellow pages.

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Well, my 13 yr old cousin did the doodh pilai and the rasta rokhna rasam…this was her first wedding ever, so she ditn really know what “to do”..but it was funny, she was very straightforward, she said “gimme money,” they gave her money and she walked away..didn’t even try to fight for a larger amount :hehe:

On the valima, theres a rasam, where hte devar sits on the bride’s lap and she gives him money…for some reason i stupidly thought he literally sat on my lap :smack: but instead he sat on the bottom…wiht all his brothers and sister and bhabhi and friends all demanding :grumpy:

whats cooking ...... /What did you .... [merged]
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Traditions are passed down generation from generation and are embodied with many meanings but nowadays many don't know why they are doing certain things but just do them anyways.

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mwahahhahaha! that is the funniest thing i've heard all day!
but also true.

Sannan ke 5 K
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whats the saath suhagan rasam and the rasta rokna rasam??

I've been to weddings where the bride throws handfuls of rice behind her before the rukhsati... Although i have to say i haven't seen that for a good few years...

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Re: Wedding rasams..

the only one i know of is the joota chuppai. one of the bridesmaids or cousins takes off one of his shoes while he's at the reception and then runs away and hides it. then all the girls get together and ask for money in exchange for his shoe.

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its when all the women on the bride’s side, will try to block the entrance of hte home/hall when the dulha and hsi family comes…kinda like, we’re not letting u take her away w/o a fight. but if they give her enuff $$, they let go.. :hoonh:

I threw rice at my rukhsati :halo:

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let me correct something for those who said that its a part of hindu culture.

Hinduism is a religion. Islam is a religion.

Punjabi, Sindhi, Gujrati -- those are cultures.

Many Muslim Punjabi's and Hindu Punjabi's share the same rassam's because they share the same CULTURE. Culture belongs to a group of people living within close proximity to one another. There are slight differences in the US between a person from Texas and person from NY (food, slang, the way we do things)- and those are cultural, not religious. Why are some people here so ignorant, constantly looking down upon other religions and cultures? Its extremely hurtful to browse this message board and come across deragatory remarks towards Hindus. I know Islam doesn't teach ignorance. Where do those people pick it up from? Please, broaden your mind and embrace the diversity around you. It will make browsing this message board a more pleasant experience.

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please can anyone explain the meaning of some rasams:
1.giving the groom milk.
2. hiding the grooms shoe
3. there is a bowl of water with something white in it and there are rings at the bottom of the bowl and people compete with one hand to get them out (it' sweird, i know!)
4. passing of fruit from the groom lap to the bride's ( again i know it's odd!)
5. any others you can think of!!!

thanks

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Number 1 and 2..

1)that's the doodh pilai..the girls sister (or close relative) does that. Groom is supposed to give money to his saali. Umm I could explain but then ii'd be completely BSing as I have no clue what it really means :D

2) is the juthi chupai...again can't xplain the rasam sorry :(

3) never heard of it..

4) I think that's ghodh bharai but I thought that was for baby showers..

5) Anothe rasam is the "rasta rokhna"..whn the baraat is arriving, the girls family all gets together and they "block" the entrance to the hall..til the dulha gives em moneY :D We did another rasam, i'm not sure hwat it's called, but on the valima, teh devar sits on the bride's "lap" (or at the edge of hte stage) and he asks her for money

Last person to answer this post wins!!!!
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1) Originally the milk thing was a fertility custom for the groom in Hindu culture. Pakistanis just do it as a way to entertain their guests and for the saalis to get some cash.

2) Just for entertainment purposes and again, for the saali to get some cash.

3) It's an icebreaker for the bride and groom. It's the bride and groom who are supposed to compete in finding the ring. Hindus used to put the ring in milk, but that can get messy, so rice is a favored alternative. I know it sounds weird, but it gave them an opportunity to touch one another. Some families do the kheer chatai instead when a dot of kheer is put on the bride's hand and the groom tries to lick it off while the bride's hand is moved away by her MIL or grandmother in law. But these things aren't universal at all. In my family, doing something like that would cause the aunties to have a fit and tsk tsk at the PDA, lol.

4) I've never seen fruit go from the groom to the bride, but I think that also has to do with fertility rituals in Hindu culture.

5) The mirror rasm, where the bride and groom have a mirror placed on their lap so that they can look at each other for the first time. But this was practical in the old days when a bride didn't dare lift her eyes or take off her ghungat. Now, with the bride and groom smiling, laughing, talking, and dancing (along with the pre-marital going out) it's kind of lost its charm.

The Quran over the bride's head was actually adapted from Hindu culture as well. Hindus will hold a bottle or bowl of mustard oil over the bride's head to protect her from the evil eye. Pakistani's adapted it so that the bride is under the shadow (and protection) of the Quran so that no one gives her the evil eye. Originally, it was a happily married woman from the bride's family who would hold it over her head (like a khala or a chachi), but now it's become the brother's responsibility.

Some families will have a small child placed on the bride's lap to encourage fertility. That's done when the barat takes the bride home.

The bride has her groom's name hidden in her mehndi design on her hands and if he can find it, he'll rule. If he can't find it, she'll rule the marriage.

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lol really?

i dont remember if he found it or not :hmmm:

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I have to correct you on that. Hazrat Hajra did not have a mayoun rasm. She was an Egyptian slave of Hazrat Sara that she gave as a concubine to Ibrahim (AS). It's highly unlikely she even had a wedding celebration.

From what I've read about mayouns, there were a few main purposes for this rasm (which is truly Hindu in it's origins). The bride was supposed to stay inside so that she could beautify herself with uptan, not get tan from doing daily chores (remember that most people did their clothes washing, cooking, vegetable picking, even sleeping outside). Also, by keeping her away from people's eyes, you were protecting her from nazr (evil eye, something both Hindus and Muslims believe in). One last thing about mayouns is a little more sinister...marriages were usually 100% arranged back in the day. By keeping the bride inside at all times, you could prevent her from seeing or running away with any sweetheart of hers.

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Yeah..but is that really practical now? I mean to be stuck inside all day long. But I geuss it has its charm..

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I don't think it's practical at all. No one I know can stay inside like that. Also, today's girls are far more involved in their wedding planning, and you, as the bride, often have tons of last minute things to do. Nowadays, I think mayouns are just another excuse to have a party, much to the headache of the elders who think it's a colossal waste of money. I don't think people had such official parties for mayouns back in the day. It was kind of understood that the bride would stay indoors for beauty purposes, and your relatives would be coming and going helping out and giving the house a shaadi atmosphere. I didn't have a mayoun myself (my nani passed away just a month before my shaadi, and now that I think of it, none of my cousins ever had a mayoun either), but I don't feel as if I missed anything since seven years ago, it wasn't such a big thing as it is today. My sister is getting married soon inshaAllah, and she's planned her mayoun down to a tee (she's even serving lemonade to get into the yellow theme, lol).

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Well my friends threw me a little party, it was a mayyoun…it was just 5-6 of us girls, they circled monopoly money over my head, smushed ubtan on my face, rubbed hte oil in my hair and stuffed my face with mithai. there were rose petals all over the floor, decorations etc. it was all so much fun, and I think those are the best, small, casual/intimate gatherings. haye.. let me find some pix :blush:

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That sounds like good fun and I'm sure you have many great memories from that. Nothing is ever written in stone, do what suits you, right?