Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
It’s hard dealing with the betrayal because you seem like a decent human being who is trying to rationalize their deceitful and disgusting behavior. You expect some sort of explanation or realization on their parts. Unfortunately not everyone is a decent human being, and not everyone takes responsibility in an honest or mature manner.
I think you’re right to want these people out of your life as soon as possible.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
You seem to be on the right path. In the EU, they do give unemployment benefits until you find a job so you should be ok. Also, you have a good support network. IA all will be well.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
I can relate to each and every thing that you are going through. Just remember that life keeps on changing and what are going through right now is a phase and soon things will change In’sha Allah. Your baby has her own naseeb and believe me you will be blessed alot through her. Just keep doing the right thing keep yourself and your baby first , think about her future before making any and I mean any decision.
Eventually all situations in life stabilize that’s nature just keep yourself sane and focused.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
I accidentally ended up on this section of GS and am so sorry to know about your ordeal. Please keep all evidences safe electronically and backed up over email. Take screen caps of his girlfriends Facebook pages where he posted . The flowers he sent her. Anything and everything proving his infidelity. Make sure the date is visible.
If you have an iPhone, I think you should be able to backup the text messages on the cloud. You need all this if a court battle starts so the decision is made in your favor and the he has to pay for child care/ alimony. Stay strong and good luck!
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Just read through the posts. You have been given excellent support and advice and you are making the right decisions.
All I can say is don’t let your ex husband influence the happiness of you and your child. Your child deserves happiness and so do you so brush off and walk away and take no regrets with you. ALLAH knows all and you have to rely that whatever has happened is the best for you and your child.
His parents are just as guilty as he is. Covering for him has only enabled him. Theyre just as bad as he is. Be thankful that isn’t the morally bankrupt family that you will be stuck with. Also as others have said make sure you squeeze every penny out of him
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
now let me throw a spanner in the works here…
what if the guy actually repents?
what if someone or something has managed to “fix” his thought process and he is truly sorry and wants to give it another try?
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
This is horrible and terrible. It hurts me because a friend of mine found out her husband married another woman while she was expecting. He left her, stole her money etc when the baby was a month old. She has filed for divorce.
May Allah solve your issues… the man sounds like a big jerk. He will regret.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
He has already divorced her. There is no trying to fix it now. He should have thought of that before uttering those words.
Divorce is a final and irrevocable decision. You can’t give it and take it back whenever you feel like it.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
If the divorce is final (confirmed through proper sources) then obviously there is no going back.
But if there is any hope then my suggestion will always be to explore it or at the very least give all involved parties the opportunity to reconsider.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Your husband sounds like a knob if i’m honest - you’re better off without him. A man isn’t a man if he behaves with his wife in a haraam manner - listening to mummy and daddy on how to treat your wife or do zulam with her is haram. Such BOYS shouldn’t get married. There are alot of pakistani men both here in england and back home who behave like this. I tell my mum straight if she ever does the whole saas thing with either of my sil’s (even though she lived with the archetypal narcissistic mil herself for 30 years) to cut it out and I flip it on to my sister - that really irks her, I don’t know why paki women behave like this, one rule for the daughter and another for the daughter in law. Only a coward would give three talaqs and then deny it.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Lol, i’m not a complete misogynist! I understand that women are treated badly and that a lot still has to be done in terms of ending male privilege. However, female privilege exists in the form of divorce and custody laws here in Britain that I will always oppose. I don’t believe feminism is the way to achieve this, because mens rights get drowned out majority of the time.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
I feel like I have given him more then enough chances. I’ve tried working things out with him since I found out I was pregnant. My parents have tried working things out between us, they have even contacted his parents numerous times, but they didn’t seem very interested in fixing anything. I wanted to sacrifice my own happiness for my baby, I wanted her to have a mother and a father. If his family had been good to me, I would have tried dealing with his cheating, maybe even ignored it, but for the past 7 months I havn’t felt that anyone from his family has been on “my side” they have all treated me like crap and their behaviour has gotten worse and worse … A part of me is still hoping that he realises his mistake, but I doubt it …
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
I’m sorry but your husband is begerat, that’s the only way to describe someone who cheats on their spouse. Unless he has an epiphany moment, I’d let him go. Most guys who sleep around do so before marriage, not the other way around in my experience with paki men. Move on, next time do a thorough check of the dude you marry. I had only cousin who got married to a guy, they went to Dubai on honeymoon. When they get back, the guy literally 3 days later says he has to go back to Dubai for “business”. Luckily, my cousins father is quite well off here in London, so he hired a private investigator to follow the guy to Dubai where the guy was meeting up with his hindu indian girlfriend! When presented with photographic evidence of intimate moments of their son with the hindu girl, the guy’s parents said “is say toh hum hindni say shaadi karadaytay, kumuzkum sawab toh milta!” Some parents of guys are just as bad as the guys themselves - if I did that after marriage my parents and my family would disown me, and my family is probably more liberal than 95% of British Pakistani families.
