This is truly heart broken. I just want to tell you..there is always hope. I would personally hate to say..move on and find someone better. Well..it may happen inshaallah. But…ppl do not realize..kinda scar it puts on hearts after going through this crap. Not because of the divorce..but kinda ppl that were in our lives.
Secondly..he clearly was cheating…this is not wat shareef fellas do. Khair..i will pray for u..
Seems..ya cant trust no-one!
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
You can but the iddah extends till childbirth.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
You have a good support system here, use it.
One other piece of advice. He may very well try to come back in your life.
Be very careful. He’s already proven he is incompetent. Letting him back in believing he is serious when he says he is sorry — all this will do is put you in hurt again.
Bewaqoof aadmi hai, really, amazed that guys like this exist.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Is this the same guy you ended up marrying you posted about ( they were hurrying the rishta talks and the guy was not even a high school graduate)? The guy sounds like scum. Glad he’s out of your life sooner than later. I know it’s hard and remembering from your earlier posts you really wanted to make a good life with him. He doesn’t deserve a genuine person like you. Concentrate on your job. He can’t take away your baby, be sure of that. Unless the mother is really incompetent like taking drugs etc and I don’t think he will even be interested.
It will be hard I know but pray and stay strong. Time will heal.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
What is done is done. Who is to blame is irrelevant now. Its time to move on and think about your future.
After 6 weeks you found out you were pregnant and 5 weeks after marriage you had no contact with your husband. If you are bringing a child into this world you should have tried to achieve some reconciliation with your husband just once more time.
It was also wrong of your husband to marry you when he was still involved and in love with another woman. Particularly when a child is involved he should have done the right thing and given the marriage a chance. I hope you informed him that you were expecting.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
I’m not sure about that… but if someone was openly cheating on their spouse and unrepentant about it, somehow I doubt they would care about when it’s allowed to give talaQ either…
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Talaq can be given but the duration of iddah is till childbirth. You can refer to
surah talaq ayat 1-4
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
This is just terrible. Its unbelievable that people actually exist like this who can do these things to others. You are better off without him. Forget him. Instead look to the future. Allah has blessed you with a child inshallah and that is one of the greatest gifts we can receive in life. Your husband had lost out on a good wife and a child. You however have gained another little person who will love you more than anyone can or will. Believe me being a mother is truly one of Allah’s mercies and a sign of His love for us. It will be hard, being a mother IS hard but it is WORTH it. Your heart will be healed and filled with the love only your child could give you. Stay strong and put all of your focus and attention to your child now. There is nothing more important anymore. Inshallah Allah will help you, He is the one who supports us when everyone leaves us. He will make this hardship pass and inshallah will make it easy for you. He will fill your life with love and positivity through making you a mother inshallah. Inshallah your pregnancy goes well and your child is born healthy and safe.
“…Bear with patience whatever befalls you…” (Qur’an 31:17) and “Be not sad, surely Allah is with us.” (Qur’an 9:40)
Don’t lose heart. Allah is with you and that is all you need. Seek Him and He will make it easy for you.
“Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” (Qur’an 13:28)
“Therefore remember Me and I will remember you…” (Qur’an 2:152)
Whatever He does for us is always in our best interests. When you feel down remember Him.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Do you have someone you can talk to in real life? Someone that can be a support system? Is your own family supporting you? You’ll need friends and family through this. Also If she can be provided references to muslim counsellors, seek these resources from your masjid. Some local cities have them.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
I was in same situation as you divorced after barely 10 months with a baby for different reasons than yours. I can tell you my life has been hell and it’s still not easy BUT still a million times better than it was with him.
You will be the sole provider and sole person responsible for your child , swallow this fact , get up , what’s done is done and just leave it behind now and work towards making each day better. It will be a slow and painful process but you’ll get more strong everyday and every coming day will be better than the previous Seek assistance from your family you will need a support system.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Assalamualaikum sister,
alot of prayers for you, may Allah remove your pain and grant you patience ameen. I believe theres always hikmah in your matters that we understand later on in our lives, Thank Allah dear sister, he Divorced you otherwise i have seen so many guy who neither accepts you nor divorce you and you can’t imagine when they leave you in the middle you don’t see life anywhere,and when she gets back to that guy, she knows only harm and emotional stress she will have, you have been saved from future disaster my sister, you don’t know how much it could be worst than this. inshaALLAH you will have good life after this trust me. and you will thank Allah that He indeed bless you!!
and i love this dua of Umm e salma Radi Allah ta’alla anha, it will inshaAllah provide you relief
stay blessed and i hope you will have best after this calamity inshaALLAH.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
If your husband is so darn religious does he not know that one cannot divorce a pregnant woman? profanity deleted
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Squeeze the douchbag with alimony for next 16 or 18 years.
in the meantime start working towards the harder choices you have to make and that too alone.
are you going to raise the child as single parent?
well how?
write it down, while crying it will make your resolve stronger. Never forget the humiliation and the way he used you. maybe a moment come after few years when he trying to be good and come back to terms. That will be the hardest one, simple don’t.
wait and “saber” Allah have good for good ones.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
From searching online and asking others, this appears to be a common misconception. There is no such ban in Islam. The only thing different is that the iddat of the woman lasts until the child is born (whether it is many months or a few hours).
You know what i was thinking..this guy probably got pressured to divorce you..again i might be wrong here. Hamaray hainn..whether we like to admit or not..susraali maashra is really cruel. I really and sincerely feel for women…who have to go through this. I was listening to Maulana Tariq Jameel’s lecture about marriage. I learnt so much!.
Mistakes probably hotey hain and nothing is perfect…lekin..bajay behtari kay…he just sends you divorce papers…that is wrong. Divorce is very very serious issue. I wish ppl just understand what that really means. Divorce wo bhi..achanak say bhejna without going through proper proper reconciliation process…sounds so wrong to me.
We are all praying for you op! May Allah help you and assist you every step..
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
While I agree with what you say, I don’t know if he was wrong or was pressured. He was obviously carrying on with a gf. Perhaps this whole marriage thing brought all that to light and he realized that despite making promises he could not end his other relationship. In this case, it is better that that this relationship ends now. Better for the OP and also better for the child that is yet to be born.
What’s the point of staying with a man that cannot stick to his promise to be faithful?
Why let a child become close to him when he’s one day going to leave anyway?
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Thats rough. sorry
@Muzna baji. Sorry i completely missed the point about guy cheating on her. Yes that i agree with you. No excuse for that. She is better off without him…but really sad that he has cheated on her with someone else. I dont know…my theory is that..as long as you are nikkahed to someone…talking to opposite sex…intimately is wrong. Here i think…brings anotha question..if you got couple of female friends…and you just say hey and salam in fb once in a while..is that healthy?? I guess..really depends on ur spouse eh…how open you are with her. Khair..whatever..cheating is wrong.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
I think it’s unhealthy to not have friends and that could be friends of both genders. But this is highly dependent on the type of personality you have.
If the person has a flirtatious nature then perhaps it would be wise not to engage with people of the opposite gender while you are in a relationship. One thing could lead to another…
But this is taking the discussion in a different direction altogether.
Re: WAS: married for 8 months … NOW: 7 months pregnant and divorced.
Thank you everyone for all the encouraging words and all the advice! I really appreciate it.
He gave me talaq over the phone, his aunt called him and he denied ever giving me talaq, but I have all the text messages and we’ve asked 3 diffrent imams about wether or not the talaq given via sms count and all 3 of them say that the talaq given counts. Now his family is saying that they’ll come in a months time to “talk” things thru. Since he has already divorced me according to islam, I’ve sent him the divorce papers and he refuses to sign them, but since I have proof of his cheating, the courts will ask him to sign them, if he still doesn’t the court will divorce us wether he wants it or not. His aunt and uncle has talked to his parents and I think his parents gready side is regretting everything now, but to be honest I have no idea what they are upto and I don’t care anymore, I just want them out of my life.
Their behaviour has really scared me, I don’t trust them one bit, people who swear by the Quran and then do exactly what they swore they would’t, these people obviously don’t fear Allah and I want to stay as far away from them as possible.
The past couple of months have been extremely difficult financially and personally, but I made an appointment with a family counsellor, who has helped me plan for the next year, year and a half. I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel. I know it’s going to be difficult, but InShaAllah I’ll get thru it. I know Allah is with me, I lost my job the same week I found out that I was pregnant, so there was a point where I thought I’d never be able to provide basic things for my baby, but Allah has really blessed me and I’ve almost gotten everything that my baby needs and so much more. I also have an amazing family and great friends , they have been really supportive and because of them I don’t feel alone anymore…
Its just really hard dealing with the betrayal, all I wanted was to create a home for my own little family and I feel like he’s taken that away from me. I forgave him over and over again because I loved him, and the good outweighed the bad, but the cheating combined with his and his families attitude just became too much, I can’t and won’t go back to him …