Re: Love Or Arranged marriage???
mine was arranged....
it was hard in the beggining to adjust and for both of us....but i think now we're madly in love..and our ruksati is in MAY...only thing i wish to change was not to have the nikkah done so early....there shouldnt be such a big gap between nikkah and ruksati...really messes up a lot of things..anyways the thing that matters is you grow to love eachother no matter what...this relationship is so beautiful....<3
mine was arranged....
it was hard in the beggining to adjust and for both of us....but i think now we're madly in love..and our ruksati is in MAY...only thing i wish to change was not to have the nikkah done so early....there shouldnt be such a big gap between nikkah and ruksati...really messes up a lot of things..anyways the thing that matters is you grow to love eachother no matter what...this relationship is so beautiful....<3
Aww mashallah tats so gud..sounds like ure own joda akbar kahaani hehe ionli watchd it the other day for the first tym..it was such a beautiful movie..itink it did a reali gud job of shwinh arrangd marriages reali arent as bad as ppl mke em out to be..plus hw can it b nt wen both d gal n guy r so hot like inda movie lol jkn..!
Re: Love Or Arranged marriage???
Mine is love. We met 2 years ago at university when a friend of mine brought his friend along to the library to do some accounting homework and today that random stranger friend of my friend is my fiance! weird how things change. anyways, I actually never believed in the concept of arranged marriages. I always wanted to marry a person of my choice and iA it will be happening by 2011 :)
Aww mashallah tats so gud..sounds like ure own joda akbar kahaani hehe ionli watchd it the other day for the first tym..it was such a beautiful movie..itink it did a reali gud job of shwinh arrangd marriages reali arent as bad as ppl mke em out to be..plus hw can it b nt wen both d gal n guy r so hot like inda movie lol jkn..!
yeh they're not that bad...but it takes time to get used to everything...thats what ppl need to understand...
I completely agree with what everyone is saying. Love or arranged both have risks. I have heard of pakistani love marriages ending in divorce because the parents were not for it. Love or arranged both have their risks. I think both families AND individuals should be on board otherwise it is destined for doom. Not all marriages whose parents are for it end but it takes a lot of strong will power and dedication to keep a marriage going. All of us should share our experiences and advice we never know who will need it!
Mine = Love We have known each other for two good years and are getting married in July InshAllah. but I do strongly believe that the parents-in law have to fully agree in order for the couple to stay happy. Free advice ladies, regardless of if its love or arrange Remember the way you start your relationship is the way its always going to be, always appreciate your partner for every little thing he does. it's just as important as respect, understanding & trust among the two. It motivates them to remain the same through out the relationship. ALSO, try to marry someone 4-5 years older. Always respect & love your in-laws & hopefully they will treat you like their own.
Re: Love Or Arranged marriage???
Mine is going to be a TOTALLY arranged marriage from both sides. I did not have much of a problem when my parents suggested it. Because for one, I wasn't romantically involved with anyone in the recent times and two I had no available options either :p
Well, so far it has been good. Both love or arranged have equal risks. A guy as a husband and as a bf can be entirely different (in a few cases). You would eventually fall in love with your prospective husband, even if you are going for a total arranged affair. :) This is coz you have accepted the next person as someone you do plan to spend the rest of your life with. so in that case, you adapt.
But it's not that EASY. For starters, both sides are equally scared of embarking in a relationship. which is quite delicate and important with FAMILIES being involved. SO a person might not actually be what they are trying to be during the post engagement phase. So don't panic, take things slowly. It's hard opening up to a total stranger. Hard to decipher them esp if they are too much of an introvert. But InshAllah everything would work out fine later :)
Re: Love Or Arranged marriage???
^ Not everyone ends up falling in love with their partner in an arranged marriage (some will be happy just to 'make do' with friendship, loyalty, being looked after well etc.) just as those in love marriages can end up falling out of love as well..
For me it's going to be love..
^ Not everyone ends up falling in love with their partner in an arranged marriage (some will be happy just to 'make do' with friendship, loyalty, being looked after well etc.) just as those in love marriages can end up falling out of love as well..
For me it's going to be love..
True, but then again not everyone in love prior to the wedding stays in love after the wedding ..
Re: Love Or Arranged marriage???
Love
Re: Love Or Arranged marriage???
why no one doesnt give idea abt how to come to know him???
Okay...
Well... I've always wanted a love marriage and I was going to have one till... the love of my life broke my heart. After that, I just looked to Allah (swt) for help and to guide me because I felt so so so lost, broken and I can't explain in words but times were hard.
Years passed and my parents came to me with different proposals... I rejected. Kept on rejecting, but then one day when I was reading namaaz, I got this feeling, that maybe I shouldn't reject. I know this sounds insane but believe me, these feelings you get when you ask God for help are real.
So... After some time, this one proposel kept coming up.. I decided to get to know the guy cuz who knows maybe he won't be a jerk and actually will be the one. Girls... that decision was the best decision I ever made. We talked for months and then decided to get engaged. One year has passed, and now insha'Allah in August 2010 we will get married. This started off as arranged but ended in love and masha'Allah he is EVERYTHING I could hope, ask, want and need. I haven't been this happy in a long time and it shows. Everyone who meets me now notices the glow on my face. Masha'Allah.
Point is.. sometimes, kismat takes its toll. You never know what may happen and the one thing I've learnt, is never say never. I always use to say never arranged, and even though my relationship was arranged but has turned into love... it was still initially arranged. I just know, when the time is right, things will just fall into place with the right person.
That's just how I see it after my own experience, so just sharing.
=-)
True, but then again not everyone in love prior to the wedding stays in love after the wedding ..
That's what I said :)
Okay...
Well... I've always wanted a love marriage and I was going to have one till... the love of my life broke my heart. After that, I just looked to Allah (swt) for help and to guide me because I felt so so so lost, broken and I can't explain in words but times were hard.
Years passed and my parents came to me with different proposals... I rejected. Kept on rejecting, but then one day when I was reading namaaz, I got this feeling, that maybe I shouldn't reject. I know this sounds insane but believe me, these feelings you get when you ask God for help are real.
So... After some time, this one proposel kept coming up.. I decided to get to know the guy cuz who knows maybe he won't be a jerk and actually will be the one. Girls... that decision was the best decision I ever made. We talked for months and then decided to get engaged. One year has passed, and now insha'Allah in August 2010 we will get married. This started off as arranged but ended in love and masha'Allah he is EVERYTHING I could hope, ask, want and need. I haven't been this happy in a long time and it shows. Everyone who meets me now notices the glow on my face. Masha'Allah.
Point is.. sometimes, kismat takes its toll. You never know what may happen and the one thing I've learnt, is never say never. I always use to say never arranged, and even though my relationship was arranged but has turned into love... it was still initially arranged. I just know, when the time is right, things will just fall into place with the right person.
That's just how I see it after my own experience, so just sharing. =-)
Subhanallah!! i am so so soo happy for u sis! it bawt tears of joy to my eyes..its amazing how Allah swt makes things happen...my story is sumwat similar to ures..my hart has been broken quite badly and ifelt as thou that was it for me..but now rishtey are coming and Alhamd im feeling quite positive even with a broken hart thats on the mend slowly but surely..i am so glad that Allah swt gave u the best..better than wat u were looking for :) inshallah i wish u the best of luck and all the happiness there is in this duniya!! hugs
soo...now theres only one ting left to ask..details abt ure 'vo ji' plz sis!! hehehe
Re: Love Or Arranged marriage???
stardust86-Congratulations and yeah things always workout the way they are meant to work out.
I am engaged and it was/is totally arranged...Parents decided it and I had no objections...Me and my finace dont talk so I dont know if he is happy or not WHO CARES ABOUT HIM ANYWAY LOL I am only kidding girls....Lets see what happens.
Subhanallah!! i am so so soo happy for u sis! it bawt tears of joy to my eyes..its amazing how Allah swt makes things happen...my story is sumwat similar to ures..my hart has been broken quite badly and ifelt as thou that was it for me..but now rishtey are coming and Alhamd im feeling quite positive even with a broken hart thats on the mend slowly but surely..i am so glad that Allah swt gave u the best..better than wat u were looking for :) inshallah i wish u the best of luck and all the happiness there is in this duniya!! hugs
soo...now theres only one ting left to ask..details abt ure 'vo ji' plz sis!! hehehe
Thank you so so so much!! It is truly amazing how Allah (swt) makes things happen. You said, you have rishteys coming, the best advice I have for you is to keep an open mind and honestly, before going to bed, just pray to Allah (swt) and ask to guide you. You will find your answer through him. =-)
You are so sweet! Thank you for wishing me all the luck and happiness, I wish the same for you and more! May Allah (swt) guide you to making a decision that will bring light into your life. Insha'Allah. Ameen. hugs
Well... I would love to share. Masha'Allah. I always have so much to say about him, you may ask and I shall answer! Hehe =-)
stardust86-Congratulations and yeah things always workout the way they are meant to work out.
I am engaged and it was/is totally arranged...Parents decided it and I had no objections...Me and my finace dont talk so I dont know if he is happy or not WHO CARES ABOUT HIM ANYWAY LOL I am only kidding girls....Lets see what happens.
Thank you! And, yes, agreed. Things always work out when they are meant to and they always for out for the best.
Congratulations on your engagement!
I wish you the best of luck! And, I pray that your relationship be filled with love and happiness! Ameen.
=-)
Re: Love Or Arranged marriage???
My fiance and I say we're self-arranged :)
Re: Love Or Arranged marriage???
Stardust its so nice to know that u found the right match..i always feel that Allah takes away something from u just cozz Allah has better plans for u..so one just need to have faith in Allah..happy for u dear
Stardust its so nice to know that u found the right match..i always feel that Allah takes away something from u just cozz Allah has better plans for u..so one just need to have faith in Allah..happy for u dear
Thank you sooo much. It means a lot! =-)
Okay...
Well... I've always wanted a love marriage and I was going to have one till... the love of my life broke my heart. After that, I just looked to Allah (swt) for help and to guide me because I felt so so so lost, broken and I can't explain in words but times were hard.
Years passed and my parents came to me with different proposals... I rejected. Kept on rejecting, but then one day when I was reading namaaz, I got this feeling, that maybe I shouldn't reject. I know this sounds insane but believe me, these feelings you get when you ask God for help are real.
So... After some time, this one proposel kept coming up.. I decided to get to know the guy cuz who knows maybe he won't be a jerk and actually will be the one. Girls... that decision was the best decision I ever made. We talked for months and then decided to get engaged. One year has passed, and now insha'Allah in August 2010 we will get married. This started off as arranged but ended in love and masha'Allah he is EVERYTHING I could hope, ask, want and need. I haven't been this happy in a long time and it shows. Everyone who meets me now notices the glow on my face. Masha'Allah.
Point is.. sometimes, kismat takes its toll. You never know what may happen and the one thing I've learnt, is never say never. I always use to say never arranged, and even though my relationship was arranged but has turned into love... it was still initially arranged. I just know, when the time is right, things will just fall into place with the right person.
That's just how I see it after my own experience, so just sharing. =-)
nice life story...
i also belive anything can be start of a relation matter is that u know him & fall in love with ur hubby